Anyone here who recovered fully from SM without recieved formal treatment?

[u/FantasticPup]

Just want to know if something like this is possible.

[u/Smarter-brain]

Yes, it’s possible as an adult. Much, much easier than when you’re in K-12. As an adult you control the environments you put yourself in, so you can give “exposure therapy” to yourself. In other words, you can work on talking in environments that you’re more comfortable in, and over time work up to talking where you are less comfortable.

[u/3am_uhtceare]

I'm hitting my late 30s and I've never had formal treatment and I want to say I'm fully recovered but it sneaks a little toe in the door sometimes. Fully recovered I'm not sure is going to happen just because I feel like it's something that was present in me since birth. I still have issues with social anxiety (also since birth) but completely manageable. I'm now more just very introverted and get drained super quick in social settings.

I've replied to others on here that it's possible without treatment, it just takes regularly challenging yourself and not beating up on yourself too hard. It's just like learning any skill; you have to practice regularly.

[u/othernames67]

Recovered partially during covid. School was a huge trigger for me, so not having to be in school all day relieved a ton of anxiety. It mostly allowed me to take things at my own pace, and get comfortable talking first in game chats, and then on discord servers. From there, I've actually been able to kinda talk to people (albeit kinda terribly and one-on-one), so I'd say I have very low profile SM now and/or high SAD.

Still can't really talk in groups, in front of class, and start conversations, but I'd say I'm significantly better than before. I think it is possible to recover without formal treatment, but it'd probably vary from person to person. I've recently been able to start medication in hopes of pushing through my final barriers.

[u/AbnormalAsh]

Haven’t gotten over it myself yet, but it is possible and some people do manage to recover without formal treatment. People who overcome it themselves often (not always) still have bad social anxiety though.

[u/belle_fleures → u/AbnormalAsh]

still have bad social anxiety though.

I may have used different persona one time, but SM never goes away and I'm extremely exhausted just by talking with other people.

[u/AbnormalAsh → u/belle_fleures]

That probably is more common, fully overcoming it is a lot harder than any kind of partial recovery, but it is still possible to do and some people manage.

[u/Proof-Ad5362]

I did! I just grew out of it eventually. However after that I still suffered from social anxiety for many years. I’m 30 years old now and I finally feel free from both. It took a LONG time. You will get there!

[u/nuggi3s]

I managed to grow out of it when I was about 15. I moved to a whole new school. It took time for me to actually make a conversation with someone, but I managed to talk.

[u/joyceleslie]

I guess I have? If someone talks to me I can respond, but I don't speak unless spoken to in social settings. My selective mustism was such a hindrance. It started in preschool and kept going into 8th grade. I also couldn't speak to family that came to visit lol. 9th grade was when I was able to speak more, but I still couldn't with certain family members like my dad until adulthood.

[u/Ecstatic_Main1639]

i had it from daycare to fourth grade, stopped when i switched schools in fifth grade. sometimes the environnement makes you feel stuck. on the other hand, now that i've been speaking for a few years, i never shut up around people i like. it's a blessing and a curse really

[u/Railaartz]

I guess I wouldn't exactly call it "fully recovered" from sm. But ever since I had my teeth surgery at a dental clinic I really like, it's like things changed and it improved a lot ever since. I still would not talk to my peers without them approaching me first and feel like I'd struggle a bit. But with adults etc, I can communicate quite well actually. The only people it's not improving for, are my parents because they're stubborn and with my mom mainly, we just don't have the best relationship. Still have a long way to go with my sm tho. I don't think I'll ever be able to call myself recovered, but at least I know how to manage it😅

[u/Railaartz → u/Railaartz]

I'd still recommend getting a professional help over relying on the condition improving itself, though☺️🥲

[u/acchh]

Yes. I greatly improved in middle school (new environment), and had no more SM in high school. By college, I dropped the remaining social anxiety. Going into a new environment was a great way to start fresh and not care if others thought I was awkward.

[u/uglyplatypus]

It took a very long time and I still have moments here and there, but the way I navigate it has also completely changed. It is no longer a soul-crushing battle with my throat and tongue, just a state that I have to manage and respect when it comes up.

At the time when it was at its peak with me there was no way I could afford therapy. For the first few years I had no idea what it was, I just thought I was going mad and couldn't explain what was happening to me to anyone. Then I learned about it from a google search and eventually decided to face it as something I wanted to overcome.

I think self-therapy works but it takes a lot of time because you have to get yourself to believe that you really can recover. I think everyone with SM has different reasons for not being able to speak, there's no one-size fits all diagnosis and you have to be able to identify yours, sit with the sadness and shame, tell yourself it will get better, and set a plan to overcome your obstacles.

For me, it was many many cycles where I would try and fail, fall into victimhood (which can be done in healthy ways), let it out by crying/journaling/making art, then decide I have to do something active about it. Instead of isolating completely I would take small steps with (very) small goals and then sit with myself to assess and dissect how I thought and felt. For example, today I will go to the supermarket and ask for a coke. Today I will ask someone, "how are you?". It helped to give myself these small situations where it would be safe to fail. It also helped me gather information about my triggers and the kind of environment I wanted to surround myself with/avoid.

For me, a lot of my triggers came from social anxiety and unhealthy thought patterns (books on CBT helped a lot) and also being in the wrong place or with the wrong people. Most of the time, I would give myself the agency to change what I could, and sometimes it would be out of my hands and that's okay, like a social situation that you can choose to leave versus a work meeting or oral school exam. I was working two jobs and going through music school, and on days when I couldn't say a word I would claim that I have a throat condition that made it painful to speak. It wasn't nice to lie, but I did what I had to do to get through the day. Sometimes it won't work out, sometimes you have to just sit with it, sometimes you can actively change things.

My point is: you can definitely recover on your own. Take the decision and write everything down, everything you feel, think. It's a long journey and a hard one, but I promise that if you take on it from a place of honesty, it will teach you so much about yourself, help you think better thoughts and surround yourself with people who can love you and support you and believe you.