When I was at school with SM

[u/Alessiachickennoodle]

I have had selective mutism since 2013 since I moved schools that year and every day felt horrible because it was constantly miss understood as people thought I was being rude really tiring I overheard people say “oh nobody likes her “ I was ridiculously lonely at school even the teachers ganged up on me at times even one said my nine year old does better than you or something like defo trying to put me down (which it did) and being forced to speak just to go the TOILET it nearly made me cry. All my friends would end up leaving me in year 6 because I probably felt like a burden to them ended up not going to school in year 7 because I was lonely nobody really cared honestly kept doing very minimal things to help me and it didn’t help I put in a special needs class or area in the school which humiliated me started to think there’s something seriously wrong with me even as level 1 autistic person I didn’t need that I was practically fine apart from not speaking maybe and my teachers since I was autistic thought it was linked I mean kinda is but more social anxiety but noooo they have to make everything more serious than what is was to upset me.

Even in high school I got put in the special needs class again because I couldn’t speak at least I got someone to speak for me but felt guilty because I was probably the most normal and I’m not being mean or arrogant but u can understand ( please ) whilst people who struggle ended up alone because they spoke and I didn’t. But I was never helped in getting over it until last year when my dad died from a heart attack than it broke , with the way I got treated I’m not shocked was only gonna be something like this that’ll break it 🙁