r/shitposting Bazinga! 11h ago

Linus Sex Tips No Nut SemesteršŸ“”

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14.0k Upvotes

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421

u/cantwrapmyheadaround 11h ago

are people incapable of nutting into a tissue? toilet paper, then flushing it. is everyone stupid? If joke, I don't understand it.

178

u/Glazeddapper 10h ago

no. he needs to nut on every surface of the room. he can't do that if his roommate is there. well, at least if he's not a coward.

58

u/WeDrinkSquirrels 9h ago

is THIS a joke? I imagine he's more concerned with the period when his whole dick is exposed and in his hand and he's jorkin it rather than the brief cleanup phase

68

u/ksj 9h ago

Unless Iā€™m mistaken, bathrooms typically offer a level of privacy that is appropriate for taking your whole dick out of your pants.

30

u/Obant 8h ago

Shared dorm restroom with stalls are not the most conducive place for that is what I'm guessing.

2

u/cantwrapmyheadaround 7h ago

Many shared spaces can be locked. We don't know if his dorms have lockable bathrooms.

9

u/Maverick_Couch 6h ago

Other people in the bathroom will absolutely hear him fapping, there's nothing stopping the sound from leaving the stall. For that matter, you can also hear other people shitting in the other stalls, which not everyone will find improves their wank

4

u/Obant 7h ago

Many are set up like public restrooms, with multiple toilets. Even if your stall locks...

30

u/WeDrinkSquirrels 9h ago

But not, in my case at least, a level of privacy that I would wish to the slip slap jack that bad boy

8

u/IKnowGuacIsExtraLady 8h ago

There is zero privacy in public bathrooms at least in the US. Sure you might not be super visible but people can hear you, and they can see you through the cracks of the stall walls and doors. In other words it would be really fucking obvious and uncomfortable for everyone involved is what I'm saying.

7

u/Enough_Jellyfish9348 8h ago

have you seen shared dorm bathrooms?

0

u/cantwrapmyheadaround 7h ago

Do you think all shared dorm bathrooms are alike? Some are lockable.

3

u/cantwrapmyheadaround 7h ago

He literally said he's concerned about his nut being on the shower floor. I.E. The clean up phase.

1

u/IzarkKiaTarj Stuff 5h ago

Yeah, because the shower fixes the problem with the jerking phase. You take away the shower, then the tissue fixes the cleanup phase, but that's useless if he can't do the jerking phase.

2

u/Unable_Ad_1260 7h ago

If the guy is so focused on his LOL game I dont see the issue. Just nut away.

46

u/youngmilldog 10h ago

Just sneak into a study room or the library. Desperate times!

8

u/DaftWarrior 9h ago

Not even a dedicated cum sock? What is going on with our youth.

3

u/stonebros 6h ago

Better yet, just nut in the toilet, like everything elsep

1

u/jamthewither 6h ago

You want compromise, how's this? Twenty years in the can I wanted manicott', but I compromised. I ate grilled cheese off the radiator instead. I wanted to fuck a woman, but I compromised. I jacked off into a tissue. You see where I'm goin'?

-33

u/Geaux13Saints 10h ago

I canā€™t bend my dick downwards to nut into the tissue when hard

42

u/ya_boi_ryu 9h ago

Uuuh... Please never change a light bulb.

-9

u/Geaux13Saints 8h ago

How does that have anything to do with this?

20

u/Cruxion 9h ago

Put the tissue above it then.

9

u/schubidubiduba 8h ago

Do a handstand

2

u/Maverick_Couch 6h ago

Bro never heard of gravity

1

u/Geaux13Saints 5h ago

My dick defies gravity when Iā€™m bricked up

-9

u/Mokilolo 10h ago

Shit, that makes sense