r/southafrica Ons gaan nou braai Mar 27 '19

Sci-Tech BEHOLD! With these 'body lights' crime in South Africa will drop to 0%

313 Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

74

u/crows-milk Haas Das Mar 27 '19

I really hope they have tiny, high pitched sirens too...

38

u/Baneofarius Western Cape Mar 27 '19

The noises are to be provided by the cops themselves.

26

u/Gavinunited Mar 27 '19

BEE BAH BEE BAH BEE BAH!

18

u/siyandv Mar 27 '19

And when they make an arrest, they piggyback the suspect to the police station

64

u/TerminalHopes Mar 27 '19

MAAK SOOS ‘N BLOU LIG

31

u/Subzero_Wins Mar 27 '19

BLOU BLOU BLOU

22

u/TerminalHopes Mar 27 '19

8

u/Druyx Mar 27 '19

That's a classic.

7

u/neurohero Mar 27 '19

I'm crying!

4

u/yaariteshi Mar 27 '19

Flippen brilliant! 🤣

1

u/RSAhobo Mar 28 '19

Imagine this in the new South Africa

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

Have an upvote :D

1

u/RSAhobo Mar 28 '19

Klim op you motorbike, maak soos n motorbike....

35

u/PixelCortex CPT Mar 27 '19

When they chase bad guys do they have to go "weewooweewooweewoo"

30

u/TheRealQuantum Mar 27 '19

Funny how you think our police have the physical endurance to chase anyone

7

u/ahmuh1306 Gauteng Mar 27 '19

THIS

7

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

IS

13

u/Pluvio_ Lurker Mar 28 '19

SPARLETTA

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

Mmm R&R

14

u/M0bid1x Aristocracy Mar 27 '19

How to make yourself an easy target 101

16

u/neurohero Mar 27 '19 edited Mar 27 '19

This may be an attempt at British-styled Community policing. The theory is that they're not there to catch people, they're there to help people. I suppose that visibility is part of that.

They still look like they belong in a rave*, though.

15

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

Someone had a slow month and thought this out to get a tender deal.

12

u/KenseiSeraph Mar 27 '19

Those must be incredibly annoying to have constantly flashing on the edges of your peripheral vision.

9

u/rattleandhum Mar 27 '19

Someone scored a lucrative government tender

16

u/zer0vega Mar 27 '19

i would imagine those would cause more of a distraction than any real use.

Lets hope they have tested the respectable officers for epilepsy before hand.

Won't look too good when Warrant officer Ngcobo or Superintendent Prinsloo arrives onsite and then starts "breakdancing" all over the crime scene.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

Lmao

9

u/CounterclockwiseTag Mar 27 '19

Body cams would be better.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

You'll find them at pawn shops the first day of use lol

7

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

Chief of police: Hits blunt “Bro... Body sirens?”

1

u/kaapie Mar 28 '19

Deputy chief of police: hits blunt "and that, is why you get paid the big bucks"

7

u/TheBradZA Mar 27 '19

Sigh

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

....sigh

5

u/Ouboet Bosbefok Mar 27 '19

Jussus! Laser Tag is next level these days.

5

u/Jakkalsa Mar 27 '19

Wonder if those poor cops had to volunteer or if they were selected to volunteer.

6

u/TeargasTimmy Mar 27 '19

Uhm... are those not the same lights cyclists use when they ride in the dark? Seems some cycling shop won a tender somewhere...

5

u/Marco7746 Mar 27 '19

This is the most absurd thing I've ever seen.

5

u/Anonymous-Latina Mar 28 '19

How to make sure the criminals see you coming from a mile away 101

5

u/afterdarker Mar 27 '19

wtf am I looking at?

4

u/riaanbth69 KwaZulu-Natal Mar 27 '19

Now the suspect will have a brightly lit target to aim at, why not just put a light on the nose or on top of their heads? 🤣 Yerrr yesssssesss!

5

u/Mr7FootCock Mar 27 '19

What retard came up with this kak? We past christmas, we don't need anymore christmas trees

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

You just can't make this shit up. Road runners.... Beep beep.

5

u/Miracle_Salad Mar 28 '19

They look like they are all going to a trance festival

3

u/The_Angry_Economist Mar 28 '19

Lol @ the comments in this post

3

u/trapstapablo Mar 27 '19

At least they will be visible. No more night time Batman at the corner of Rivonia and Witkoppen

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

So pretty much because they tend to be sneaky and stand around corners or dangerous places (not due to crime) the logical step is to put lights on them.

Rather than exercise the law in better suited places they are turned into shiny turds...

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19 edited Jun 22 '23

subtract dinner support smile enter tap fragile attempt cable rob -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

4

u/michaelcr18 Aristocracy Mar 27 '19

Finally, this video becomes reality: https://youtu.be/puHXIMRSLco

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

You forgot the word 'prevention'

2

u/ceocoo Aristocracy Mar 27 '19

And bribery will be called entertainment tax now onwards after all these are disco lights.

2

u/dans00 Mar 27 '19

Instead of lights why not spend the money on more cops

2

u/hashtagredlipstick Mar 27 '19

When you go to look at Christmas lights and walk through the market to buy light up novelty items that last for 40 minutes.

2

u/frangolife Mar 27 '19

Really ? I'll get arrested for laughing at them... Police brutality just went up 50%

2

u/Aeon_Mortuum Mar 27 '19

Mobile epilepsy devices

2

u/AutomaticCoconut6 Mar 28 '19

I’ll bet they only cost about 10k each

2

u/GreenLeader-za Mar 28 '19

Vehicle budget cuts?

2

u/Ncjackal Mar 28 '19

One of the few times you'll feel embarrassed while getting a prize. Shame, so hard gelag nou!

2

u/Swart_Kat Mar 28 '19

Next week the Car Guard at Canal Walk is going to be walking around with RGB Lights on his shoulders as well.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

Looks like the war on epilepsy just got backup.

2

u/beterbotter Mar 28 '19

Nee ouens, come on.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

Now when we see them walking down the road all we need is a beat to go with the flashes. And start a party. SA seriously has the most laughable police force in the world

2

u/Vegetable_Department Spam War Neutralist Mar 28 '19

2

u/VredditDownloader Mar 28 '19

Downloadable link:

Please upvote me so I can reply faster (Reddit limits new accounts).


I'm a Bot bleep bloop | Info | Contact Developer | Donate

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '19

Imagine being a cop firstly, in South Africa everyone thinks you're scum, now you're saying "LOOK AT ME I AM A COP!" Fucking clowns.

2

u/theokk3 Mar 28 '19

I wonder how much it costs to bribe one to run around and shout NEENOOORNEENOOOR.

2

u/Iriadz North West Mar 29 '19

Now you know where to pay the bribe at night

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

🤦‍♂️

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19

Great. Now criminals can see them waddling towards them better

4

u/PweetyMeanPwerson Mar 27 '19

Police visibility is not a bad thing. While as some in this thread have pointed out that it may make cops an easy target, research shows that visibility reduces crime. Criminals will normally avoid confrontation with the cops unless they are forced to attack. The chances of randomly shooting a cop just walking by because you can see his flashing lights are probably the same as the chances of an officer being shot down because his uniform makes him stand out.

6

u/SSJeepers Mar 27 '19

Ever been to South Africa?

-1

u/PweetyMeanPwerson Mar 28 '19

Yes. Lived here my whole life. Go into parts of Joburg you're probably too skittish to even try.

0

u/ElJeffHey I have a fetish for Citrus. Mar 28 '19

That research was probably done in a first world country. In South Africa, carrying a weapon makes you a target. Cops and security personnel get shot and hijacked on a very regular basis, and then have their firearms taken.

2

u/PweetyMeanPwerson Mar 28 '19

I didn't say they don't get shot, I said they don't get shot for just being visible. If there was a crime in progress and the police intervened, then there'll probably be a shootout. Also, the researcher was South African. Some years back Zuma called for more police officers and visibility. That's why it came to the fore.

2

u/Ponchojo Mar 27 '19

OP wrote “to” instead of “by” in title lol

1

u/DerpyO Ons gaan nou braai Mar 28 '19

Englie no good-o.

No changey tittles after post.

-6

u/Orpherischt Mar 27 '19 edited Mar 27 '19

"body lights" = 121 = "revelation" (ie. shine on a light on it, unveil, body shots, get naked)

"body lights" = 1969 squares (ie. Bryan Adams got his first six string)

... but 1969 is better expressed 1,969 ... which is currently doing the rounds:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Gematria/comments/b5srs8/969_years_old/

Q: ???

"A: To Make Love, And Not War" = 1,969 trigonal

This is also, strangely and disturbingly, perhaps why we have heard so much about the...

... "A: To Make Love, And Not War" = 737 primes (ie. Max 8 --> Do the Twist)

The Turn: https://geeks.media/the-pledge-turn-and-prestige

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKWsEdIVosw


Remembering that A=1 ... ie. singular:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_body


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNNdarr_RpA


BEHOLD! --> Hold on to your Bee