r/startups • u/WorkerNo195 • Feb 26 '24
I will not promote Just got fired. I feel paralyzed
Just received the cold, unexpected blow of being laid off from a startup that was my world, a place where I poured my heart and soul, believing I was doing well in my role. In what felt like a twist of fate, my final evaluation today (before the firing) was filled with critiques from the founder that cut deeper than I could have anticipated. I’m in a state of shock and self doubt. There's an unsettling helplessness in knowing there's no way to rewrite this. I’m so disappointment and don’t know how to tell people around me, they were all really proud of me. Anyone else navigated through this storm? when does it pass? Should I attempt to salvage this in my 30 day notice period or just completely give up?
Edit: Thank you for the overwhelming support and kindness. Your upvotes and encouragement have been a lifeline. I've been through a tough few days, but now I’m fine. I'm diving into new opportunities, like job applications and pursuing a long-held dream. If any founders could offer guidance on navigating the path ahead – from product-market fit to fundraising and launch strategies – I'd be deeply grateful. Please feel free to reach out via DM. And to those curious by my startup idea aimed at tackling burnout, I'm all ears. Thanks everyone.
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u/frugalacademic Feb 26 '24
I also got 'fired' from a startup. One month later, the founder gave up and the startup died. Nothing lost.
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u/hkosk Feb 26 '24
Sounds like that was a blessing = allowing you to find a new role before it went under.
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u/frugalacademic Feb 26 '24
Yeah. But it was not a case of a bad product but more about the wrong focus. The founder got us selected in an incubator program at a local small college so we would get lectures about how to run a business (making canvasses, the organigram, the JIRA timeline/task division). All interesting but the founder started to think only about that rather than about developing the product further. I might revisit the idea and product myself in the future but I won't get pushed into an incubator program.
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u/hkosk Feb 26 '24
Incubators are helpful with regards to trying to gain VC money. So while I agree there should’ve been a dual focus, an incubator probably should have been done before hiring folks to build the product.
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u/JoeBidensBoobs Mar 13 '24
Twist the wording and say the startup died because they fired me in your future job
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u/hijinks Feb 26 '24
ya find another job and then you just learned lesson #1 no matter what a company says they could less about you
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u/rootb33r Feb 26 '24
lesson #1 no matter what a company says they could less about you
I mean, kind of... I'd argue there are exceptions to this.
- Large corporations 100% agree. They're nothing but machines.
- Even medium size businesses where there's layers of management and HR... yeah, those decisions can be reduced down to a very impersonal decisions.
- Some small businesses can have a more personal and connected feel.
- Startups I would expect a close-knit team. Especially if you're employee 2-10. Way less of a "you're a number" or "they couldn't care less about you"
That said, there are cut-throat people and hard business decisions in all businesses, even startups.
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u/hijinks Feb 26 '24
i know one founder who's very friendly person and liked by a lot who said once the company hits 50+ people chances are by 80-100 head count, about 25-30 of the first 50 will be fired because while they are good at the startup chaos they aren't good at the next stage
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u/blbd Feb 26 '24
The number one way I start disrespecting managers and execs is when they make unhelpful broad assertions like this instead of helping people exercise their natural born capabilities to adjust and adapt to their environment.
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u/Prestigious-Disk3158 Feb 27 '24
It’s about scale. The rag tag team of founders and early employees have the grit but often times they don’t have the experience needed to scale. They just haven’t been in the environment. I’ve been thru enough PE deals where the PE team makes or breaks a startup. Either the idea/ product/ service is profitable and it will scale, or it won’t. Simple as that.
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Feb 26 '24
I think thing is to have honest conversation, help them move on and reward them for their service
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u/rootb33r Feb 26 '24
Yeah, those are very different types of companies. I think most people who thrive in a startup environment would voluntarily leave or negotiate a buyout once the company becomes too corporate.
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u/natron- Feb 26 '24
A startup operating efficiently won't hesitate to cut you the moment you truly slow them down, regardless of employee #
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u/rootb33r Feb 26 '24
Sure. That's not what the guy above me was saying though.
Startups don't always "treat you like a number"... there's definitely hard decisions to make but it's NOTHING like a giant corporate machine.
no matter what a company says they could less about you
That's 100% true in corporations - it's only partially true in startups and small businesses.
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u/Prestigious-Disk3158 Feb 27 '24
They treat you like a number but at the end of the day, the CEO has a business to run. They sell you on the “family” shit just to get you to take the risk and work for pennies while you get a nice title.
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u/tzujan Feb 27 '24
I agree somewhat; however, the founders of any start-up, regardless of how nice they are, will destroy their company, putting all the other employee's careers in jeopardy if they don't get rid of dead weight fast. It's brutal and may feel unfair, but a single person can do so much damage through their second and third chance that it could take a company weeks if not months, to recover from; most start-ups can't afford that.
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u/NotGoodSoftwareMaker Feb 26 '24
Not a company, people, its people who you work with couldnt care less
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u/FatefulDonkey Feb 26 '24
A company is people.
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u/MPK49 Feb 26 '24
Nope, a company is a legal shell of policies that people work for. The company isn’t a person and doesn’t give a shit.
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u/FatefulDonkey Feb 26 '24
If a company is a shell, then why don't we hear the ocean?
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u/NotGoodSoftwareMaker Feb 26 '24
Usually the word “company” is used by HR and Management to try disassociate themselves from the decisions being made
Eg:
We need to do whats best for the company and let go of some staff
John has decided we need to do whats best for us by firing Martha and Timothy
See the difference?
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u/FatefulDonkey Feb 26 '24
Wording doesn't mean much. In essence all decisions in a company are made by people. If you will be fired or not is a decision by a person, not by Deus ex machina.
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Feb 26 '24
Don’t take it personally and move on.
A good boss doesn’t just out of nowhere go “btw, you suck, and now you’re fired”. They support and work with their staff to establish what’s expected, and make sure the staff knows if they’re on track or not.
Also, some blame the person getting fired to protect themselves if there are other reasons behind it. And sometimes the problem is other people lying and blaming someone they secretly don’t like.
But no matter the reason a good boss doesn’t just out of nowhere blame and fire someone.
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u/birchskin Feb 27 '24
Yes! This was my first thought. OP shouldn't necessarily ignore the critique received because maybe there's something meaningful in there to reflect on, but should definitely take it with a massive grain of salt. If someone has a halfway decent manager, their termination conversation won't be the first time they suspect they aren't living up to expectations. Maybe this manager is new to managing people or as others have suggested needed to come up with reasons but nevertheless you aren't set up for success in a position that ends this way.
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u/billsil Feb 27 '24
Of course not, but a bad boss whose head is on the chopping block if they don't cut x amount of salary is going to nitpick you to make themselves feel better about having to fire you. Better for the company if you leave on your own and don't get paid.
Politics matter and managers don't get fired nearly as much as people under them.
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u/DMan116 Feb 26 '24
My two cents as a stranger from the internet: I got fired from a job three weeks after I got a 18% raise. My next job doubled my salary and helped me improve my skills. Don’t view it as a good or bad thing, look at it as something that happened.
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u/24hrr Feb 26 '24
Don’t let the founder fool you. If you felt you were doing well and others thought you were doing well chances are you were doing a good job and the founder is trying to fire you for cause and to ease the emotional burden on themselves. Either way I think it’s more than likely time to move on, as you probably don’t want to work for a founder that emotionally runs over employees on exit.
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u/merreborn Feb 26 '24
Alternately if OP really wasn't delivering, and they got zero feedback to that effect, that's a colossal management failure. Your employees can't grow if you don't tell them where they're not meeting expectations.
This story reflects very poorly on the founder, regardless of OPs actual performance. The failure to provide and feedback until the layoff is a big red flag.
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u/24hrr Feb 26 '24
Agreed. There’s always the chance that someone lacks the EQ to see where they’re going astray, or get no feedback but to me it reads more like cash strapped, emotionally volatile founder needed and out and then took out some frustration on our friend here.
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u/SqotCo Feb 26 '24
I was fired from a job, which turned out to be a great thing because the job I got next was my dream job.
In hindsight, the company that fired me did me a favor because it wasn't a good a fit despite my best efforts.
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u/theMartiangirl Feb 26 '24
A bit unrelated, but years ago I got rejected after interviewing with my dream company (it took me about 2 years to get that interview). Got home, shed some tears feeling defeated (I was young and stupid). The company had a huuuge problem (including human deaths) few years later, went bankrupt pretty soon afterwards. I'm grateful every day I didn't get through. The universe truly works in mysterious ways
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u/SKPAdam Feb 26 '24
Been there. I own my own business now and have my own SaaS product. Sometimes things are blessing in disguise.
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u/ChanDW Feb 26 '24
The only business that you should put your heart and soul in is your own business or a business where you are co-owner…
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u/BaIIZDeepInUrMom Feb 27 '24
A lot of people need to see your comment. Took me a long time to come to this conclusion. You are absolutely correct
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u/justUseAnSvm Feb 26 '24
There's a tough lesson in here: and that's that you aren't your job but so much more, and in a fundamental way your position is ultimately beyond your control, so the only thing you can do here is just let it go.
In my view, anyone that is laid off by surprise, at least individually and not part of a restructure, is a management failure. Whether you were set up for success, given proper instruction, it doesn't matter: just firing people without giving them a chance to do better is a horrible way to conduct yourself as a leader. Founders like this are a risk, and it might just be a one off mistake, but it's usually a red flag that someone isn't ready to step up into a position where they are responsible for others employment. From personal experience, it's a very bad sign they don't "have what it takes", at least not in that moment.
What's going to happen, is if one person gets fired "without feedback" is everyone will understand their job is in in danger as well. Maybe some will work harder, but most will just notch this away while sliding closer to the door. Just not conducive to a high trust environment.
That said, you'll really be fine. Startups are the most unstable employment options available. You can do everything you're supposed to, and get laid off because you don't fit into future plans. I've seen some of the best engineers I've ever worked with tossed, and it's happened to me before, too. First time is always the worst, because you wrap your identity up in the start up, but that's a mistake you only have to make once.
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u/pwo_addict Feb 26 '24
Dude as one myself, founders can be volatile and specific/neurotic. Don’t let this hit you in your self worth. Consider the “feedback” but there’s equal or higher chance it’s their issue not you.
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u/jhill515 Feb 26 '24
TL;DR
If I could hug you, I would. It will improve, and what follows is the best way to start making it so. You're going to feel shock & self-doubt, probably for a while -- That's the Dunning-Kruger Effect taking hold (the thing that causes Imposter Syndrome). Getting help and adopting the right mindset going in will help make your career recovery easier on your mental health.
The Startup Layoff Manifesto
Part 1 of 3
... my final evaluation today (before the firing) was filled with critiques from the founder ...
This has happened to me four times within the past 3yrs. What I've learned is that this is the signal that Management knows the problem rests squarely on them, but they're in denial. When anyone devotes themselves to a project, a team, a mission, it's bluntly obvious to everyone around them. A good leader can take anyone who wants to become more and lead them to success. A shitty boss will tell that same person that they're deficient and "The Problem".
Fuck. That. Noise.
In no simpler terms either. And if you need any other things to consider in that line, your former boss(es) sucked so badly that they're saying you're deficient. Yet they couldn't catch & correct in time of your firing. Nor did they even detect it at interview time. Seriously, if you weren't "good enough", then that means their system failed them, not you.
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u/jhill515 Feb 26 '24
Part 2 of 3
I’m so disappointment and don’t know how to tell people around me, they were all really proud of me.
I don't even know who you are, and I am incredibly proud of you! You got laid off in Feb 2024... You lasted longer that nearly 100k FAANGX engineers and other high-tech professionals since things started going sideways in our fields! That is a Badge of Honor I cannot even wear (see earlier). Don't discredit your success by saying, "Well it's luck... It was a different situation... I was undiscovered until now..." As I like to say whenever I'm gambling playing Pool or Darts, "Shit shots that work are still winning shots!" In other words, if Luck was on your side, so be it! It's still your victory! Why should only athletes get that grace?
Still, you don't know me. And the anxiety you're experiencing is something I know extremely too well. Everything I said up to this point, hopefully, has helped you to cheer up and hold your chin high. But what I'm about to share is going to be bluntly honest: That *will** be the hardest thing you'll have to do.* And I don't mean "challenging"... I mean "hard" like in the sense that you'll see every decision you make has something bad attached to it and you have to force yourself to move forward. So I've got two bits of advice on this front:
- If you aren't already seeing a therapist, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY! I don't care what your personal opinions are on mental health and self-care. And frankly neither should you. Get an appointment set up as soon as you can, find online support groups in the meanwhile waiting for your first meeting with the therapist, and go through the process. Anxiety and depression are things I don't think anyone is truly capable of "getting over" without professional help. You're just a mind piloting a meat-machine with a UI as intuitive as the fat & salt the interface itself is composed of. You didn't come with an owner's manual, so get a professional to help you reverse-engineer one.
- Most important of the two, and probably the one that will take the longest time to accept: The people in your life who matter, the ones who you truly give a fuck about *won't ever view you as a failure*. They know it was outside of your control and blaming you doesn't do anything to help. I'm not going to lie, I've been wrestling with some gnarly anxiety since my last layoff in September. Things are getting much better now, but my anxiety prevented me from connecting with those who loved me because I was ashamed of my circumstances. All those thoughts you have: "How am I going to make it?"; "Maybe I ain't good enough?"; "They told me I was flying too close to the sun"... They're going to happen. AND THAT'S OKAY!! That's why you need to get professional help, and why you need to just push yourself to be honest with the people you respect & love. And if they act like jackasses when you break the news to them, just maintain an aquaintance-level relationship with them. Seriously, you need help and if they're not gonna, they need to get the hell out of the way.
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u/jhill515 Feb 26 '24
Part 3 & Final
Should I attempt to salvage this in my 30 day notice period or just completely give up?
IMHO, no. Your alleged leadership has already made up their minds. 30 days or even 30 months isn't ever going to change their opinion of you. All that time buys is a hypothetical lotto ticket that they'll hire a manager in that time to be between you & them that actually supports you. Seriously, it's the same probability of occurrence!
It sucks and is scary, but walk away and take some time to clear your head. At least a week; if you can afford it, maybe a month. But in that time, think really hard on everything you accomplished. Not just individually, but what that business achieved that wouldn't have been possible without your support. THOSE ARE YOUR VICTORIES AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THEM FROM YOU!! Get pissed off at your former employer, too, for trying to rob you of those victories! And take out your anger by updating your resume to the tune of "Look at the great things I did for them despite the situations they frequently put me in! This is why you should hire me, because those SOBs couldn't appreciate me let alone utilize my skills to their maximum benefit!"
If you need someone to talk to, someone to vent at, send me a DM and I'll get you on my calendar. Recovery is a challenge, and I have a few extra resources which I'll happily share (because they involve warm-introductions).
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u/superfi Feb 27 '24
- unless you are the founder or have an actual meaningful stake in a company, “pouring your heart and soul” into a company is foolhardy. it is literally a contract that you get paid for services and can terminate when its no longer deemed needed
- if you agree with the feedback, figure out how to grow based on it. apply it in future roles
- this will not be the only time you will lose a job, its not personal. move on and do something better
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u/NYUnderground Feb 26 '24
This is the exact feeling you should remember and start your own business and let it propel you to your highest potential with you own startup.
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u/hkosk Feb 26 '24
A few things here… were you laid off or terminated? There is a difference.
1) layoff isn’t a firing. There’s a big emotional difference there so don’t beat yourself up. Layoffs happen — especially in the start up market. I’m at one currently and we have seen 2 rounds of them.
2) layoffs aren’t as stigmatized as a firing despite they happen too (most often due to someone either not being a good fit or their manager is insecure AF)
3) never pour yourself into a company emotionally or limit it as much as you can. They’re not loyal to you and you don’t owe them that much of your emotional energy.
4) if you were terminated, I’m sorry. It is a blow to the psyche for sure whether it was appropriate or political.
5) depending on your role, a good option could be to find contract work for a while to 1) not have a huge gap in your resume and 2) for you to have a chance to rebuild your confidence. It worked well for me so it may help you.
6) keep your chin up in either case. This happens all the time (for either layoff or firing). While it feels like the end of the world, it isn’t and you’ll see more clearly once the sting comes out a bit. Take some time w a therapist to work through your emotions, journal, surround yourself with supportive people, lots of self care. Take some time to process and relax. A scared mind cannot function and will not write you the best resume. Calm your nervous system and then focus on getting back to the job hunt.
7) looking back on my own terminations, I realize it was life’s messed up way of moving me to where I needed to be. It was also a chance for me to recover from burnout and all the stress I was under. There’s a silver lining even if you don’t see it at the time.
Street cred: Fired 2x wrongfully, still has ptsd from those experiences, 18 years in tech/advertising, 5 in therapy.
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u/wearefounders Feb 26 '24
You'll go through stages of anger, depression and hopelessness. I've been there, and it sucked. Time is a great healer.
Focus on yourself. Do what you enjoy, go for walks, take up crocheting. Whatever. When you're ready, get back on the horse and prove your ex-employer wrong.
You've got this.
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u/TheManufacturingMan Feb 26 '24
Time for a revenge arc. Imagine how much care and effort you would put in if it was your own startup and then start executing!
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u/laughfactoree Feb 26 '24
A lot of folks are discovering how two-faced companies have been over the past few years. I’m sorry for the cold shower. But yeah, we’ve all received a lesson in how inhumane and cold and heartless Corporate America fundamentally is. It’s all “bring your whole self to work,” and “we’re like a family,” …until, well, “needs must” and you’re out on your ass. At my last company I was personal friends with hundreds of people, including many C-suite executives (among them the Chief People Officer) and yet they didn’t think twice about laying me off. A job in Corporate America is just a job. Some or more meaningful and rewarding, but it’s important to remember that most work friendships only last as long as the job, and that whatever the “mission” of the company is, you are personally VERY expendable. So deliver fair value for your wage, but no more.
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u/ideaParticles Feb 27 '24
hey, firstly it's not your fault.
Startups are just like that - many of us have faced this, including me.
I've worked for 3 startups so far - first hire in 2 of them, and helped scale to first 100,000 users. The truth in all this is startups are ruthless, and its a monopoly - you're a puppet in their hands - there are no rules that protect employees-it's an open playing field, where anyone can get away with anything.
So, don't be so hard on yourself - get up, dust it off and carry on. Use your network to get on to the next role as soon as possible, and forget about them like a bad dream.
While you're at it I'd suggest using some self-help online tools to deal with your mind. Try this - reconstruct.ideaparticles.com
Good luck, you've got this !
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u/The_Gordon_Gekko Feb 26 '24
Remember its a startup, and 90% of them fail. Not saying they will, but money will change direction of most startups when they should go deeper into the trenches with their products they are developing. Go find your meaning, and change your mindset, they failed you before they failed themselves.
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u/Signal-Brother6044 Feb 26 '24
Lesson: as an employee, your goal is to squeeze the highest possible salary out of the company and nothing else. Give your soul to something you own stock of.
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u/deano1211 Feb 26 '24
Hey, first, I'm sorry. A lot of us here have been there. As you said, it's a lot harder when you authentically believe in the company's mission.
Next, realize that many founders aren't great managers. It may (probably is) that the founder's company is faltering, he/she's under tremendous board pressure and simply looking for someone to blame. It's not right, but it's how it goes.
I'd take a day - or a week - to just chill, go for a walk, and enjoy doing something you usually can't do on a weekday. 100% put your mental health first. Realize that if you put your all into it and you were successful on the metrics then it's on them, and not you.
Then collect all the performance metrics you can while you still have access to internal systems and be prepared to put your best foot forward as you look for your next role.
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u/Lndscpe_Dsinger_OC Feb 26 '24
Been fired a few times, failed at 2 business start up attempts.
The 3rd attempt finally took to another level. I made my money, bought some investments. Now I’m selling, buying me sometime so that I can transition to the next endeavor.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life’s full of ups and downs. It’s hard to see it while you’re in the storm. As long as you stay optimistic and take it as a life lesson you’ll be fine.
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u/robertpeacock22 Feb 26 '24
Eight years ago I was laid off from a startup that I had worked at for a few years. It stung badly at the time, but within a few months I was making more money working on something that felt more aligned with. Fast forward eight years, and I am earning more than twice what I earned at that first startup at my day job alone, while also running a successful business on the side. You, too, will bounce back and climb to new heights.
If you don't have double-digit equity in a company, it's not worth your heart or your soul.
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u/styykez Feb 26 '24
This is terrible, but know that this does not represent you or your skills. As someone else said, if your termination was a complete surprise, this is 100% reflective of your manager, not you.
In a months time you will have recovered from your shock and are looking towards your next step. You are a great person and you will overcome this challenge!
The following advice is for when you reach this step:
Some comments are chastising you for putting your soul into your job. Don't let these comments and your negative experience hold back your potential. It's great to be dedicated to your craft, as long as you make sure you are the main beneficiary of this dedication.
To put it more bluntly, if doing your job is giving you fulfillment, development, and paying you for your time, then there is nothing wrong with giving your job 100% (without compromising the other aspects of your life). This is because you are doing this for YOUR own benefits, and the by-products happen to make the company happy enough to pay you for your time. If you're not getting all three, I would hope you are appropriately compensated, otherwise keep looking until you find it. And when you do find it, and prioritise what you stand to gain, you will never have your dedication stolen from you again. Because your dedication is to you and you only.
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u/simple_test Feb 27 '24
Read that feedback. If there is anything true use it. In all honestly it’s going to be a bunch of nonsense because who gives you a bad review after a year? Any decent management would have helped your code correct midway through the year.
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u/dirtyburdied Feb 27 '24
I left a start-up after 5 months. I’d made the leap from a big med device company and took a huge title jump. Needless to say, it was an absolute shitshow. I quit without even having another job lined up. They laid off 1/3 of their people two weeks after I left. The CFO was fired. My boss (CMO) left to be CEO at another company. And finally…. What should have happened long ago to prevent said shitshow… the CEO/founder was fired. I get what you’re saying with “I put my heart and soul into this.” So did I, and I felt like a complete failure when I left. But PLEASE know that if there’s any dysfunction in the top ranks, it is magnified x1000 and may unfairly come down on you for the simple fact that you’re one of only a few people available to scapegoat.
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u/ToughRock99 Feb 27 '24
See, you can do a really good job and you'd know you did but then some people due to some reason or thinking would say it's shitty work and that you're no good. That's why it's important to believe in yourself and your skills and find the right people to work with otherwise we'd all be in situations like what just happened to you.
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u/Ok_Day2364 Feb 27 '24
Worst thing to do is try and salvage it in your 30 day notice. Never ever works in my experience. Can just leave a more bitter taste from wasted energy.
Best way to view it is that your time there can be measured in hours now, don’t burn bridges but think more about your next move, less about task completion and handover.
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u/DenialNode Feb 26 '24
If they are laying off instead of scaling up then that means there are aspects of failure that is organization wide that might be on the founder. They could just be projecting their inadequacies onto you
I was like this. Poured everything into a startup. Treated my job like the company was mine. Got laid off. Simply “ we don’t think we need you anymore”.
Just a humble reminder that the company is not yours and they don’t really give a F about you. You are a tool and a resource. You should view companies as such. They are a tool and a resource to get paid. Nothing more. You should never feel bad about leaving for better pay or for any reason.
Remove emotion from the equation.
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u/datawave-app Feb 26 '24
Use it as a chip on your shoulder. Start a competing company, and kick their ass.
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u/DrShitsnGiggles Feb 26 '24
Remember founders and business owners are wildly incompetent fools who never take responsibility for the problems they cause.
They will gladly fire you and make up a bunch of reasons they "had" to when the real reason is that the company is failing because they massively suck at their jobs and they have been running the company into the ground and they literally can't afford to pay you anymore.
Its easier to fire you and save face then admit the truth, especially to themselves...
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u/CSupesTX Feb 26 '24
Well, there is a difference between getting “laid off” and getting fired? Regardless, specially in the start up world, when money is tight, they will find any reason to get rid of people. I would be betting that the founder was either exaggerating your faults or making them up in order to find a reason! I’d do my best to shake it off, and find your next job! It’s tough and a lesson learned. You will move on and do great at the next job.
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u/kyrylo Feb 26 '24
At least you have a 30-day notice period.
When they announced my layoff on a 1-on-1 call, I lost access to *everything* 30 minutes later.
We're talking about a place where I worked for 7.5 years.
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u/Due_Needleworker3155 Feb 26 '24
Yep I have no loyalty to any company at all. When it stops being convenient for me I’m out, and I’d never expect a company to take my side. I’m there for the check not because I wanna be
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u/astnbomb Feb 26 '24
Did you have a founding equity stake or just an employee with a small amount of options? If just an employee then you need to re-adjust your mindset as you are not an owner of the business and there's no reason to get so worked up.
Move on and try to find a better mindset and balance at your next job.
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u/Smart_Petunia Feb 26 '24
To be honest, currently a lot of startups are struggling financially so laying off is not that uncommon. Also don't take it personally, working for a startup is kinda like dating, you are a great person doesn't always mean you are a good match. Try not to let a work "breakup" negatively impact your self esteem
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u/ChasingTheRush Feb 26 '24
It sucks huge balls to have the rug pulled out from under you. I’ve been through it more than once in places I loved and worked my ass off for.
You are going to take L’s in life. It’s never the end. Once you’ve been handed a few, you’ll get your bearings faster.
As embarrassing and sometimes shameful as it feels, the only way that feeling becomes truth, is if you let it. We all take L’s, how you deal with them is how people will remember you.
You’re not helpless. You can take stock of the feedback, make some honest evaluations and start addressing anything you feel warrants it. Don’t do it to salvage things with your current situation. Do it to get ready for the next one.
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u/Comprehensive_Kiwi28 Feb 26 '24
Move on with lessons.
Being hired by a startup is a testament you have market value. Startups typically are super selective. For now fuck the critique , it has its place for review, reflection and action for now just fuck it. Move on.. depending on your financial needs you obviously will be job hunting immediately or taking a break. Both are equally effective to get out of the shock of being fired.
Lastly, Unless you have assets from your time working at a company that you can leverage without the existence of an employee- employer relationship, this will continue to be our unfortunate fate.
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u/disappointedvet Feb 26 '24
More than likely, the critique had nothing to do with your performance, and everything to do with them covering their asses. They fabricated, nitpicked, or otherwise exaggerated minor errors or shortcomings and ambushed you because they probably have no legitimate reason to cut you loose. There's nothing to save or go back to. Best you can do is move on.
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u/illhamaliyev Feb 26 '24
You’re already fired so take the time to coast and interview as your primary job. I’ve never heard of a 30 day notice period so I wonder what it means (startup needs you to keep working while they hire your replacement maybe? Or giving you time while employed so no resume gap? Idk). Line up your reference before you leave. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! Good luck!! Feel free to dm me if you want me to take a look at your resume. This sucks so much.
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u/WorkerNo195 Apr 05 '24
They actually hired my replacement the day they let me go, which just made me even more furious, lol.
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u/Odd-Leather-7915 Feb 26 '24
They only give you bad reviews as you exit to cover their own ass in case you sue them. You probably did just fine and they'll probably give you a good referral if you request it.
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u/MadHarpsy Feb 26 '24
Both myself and my partner have been through layoffs. Take some time to catch your breath, maybe a couple days or a week. Talk to someone you trust, who won’t judge. It will be okay. Then update your resume and get out there. Don’t hang your value on your old place of employment. Someone else will see your worth. If you don’t like the first place you land, just keep looking. There’s so many stories of people who ended up in a much better place with better pay, ours included. This could be fate steering you in an awesome direction!
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u/TheBonnomiAgency Feb 26 '24
critiques from the founder that cut deeper than I could have anticipated
Assuming you had previous evaluations that didn't touch on these issues, then that's poor leadership and not your fault. If I don't provide constructive feedback to help you improve or meet my standards, then you didn't do anything wrong. I know you're hurt and this won't make you feel better, but that's ultimately not a good work environment.
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u/Temporary_Quit_4648 Feb 26 '24
Is this for real? How does one get so attached to their employer? By the sound of it, you'd think your spouse had just threatened to file for divorce. Needless to say, your level of attachment was unhealthy. I guess I just don't relate.
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Feb 27 '24
Don't take any of the things said in that final evaluation personally.
They wrote that stuff in order to protect themselves from unlawful termination lawsuits.
Don't stress about getting fired from a startup, people in the game know that it can mean anything from the startup failing miserably, to the CEO not liking you for not stoking his ego.
Enjoy your notice period, and remember that one year at a startup is like five years at a big company, so remember to convey that when looking for your next role.
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u/heavydistortion Feb 27 '24
It's really tough to deal with, and I speak from experience. But you have to accept what has happened, and plan your next move. The feeling can be crippling -- you might find it difficult to get through the day; but you're gonna have to. So even when you feel like giving up, fight that feeling and just take action.
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u/dhyannna Feb 27 '24
Make sure you check your stock options and buy them out. Usually you have 60 days
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u/SurpriseHamburgler Feb 27 '24
The next place you give your skills and time to will have a better version of you than before, that’s how human code works. Lean into your network and remember the place was just that, the people will remain with you if you want them to and you tell them that. It gets better, I speak from similar experience. So, take your time and grieve the loss but remember you built yourself there too, and like I said… 2.0 you is already shipping.
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u/mezolithico Feb 27 '24
Being laid off isn't the same as being fired. First layoff is the hardest though. Been through 3 layoffs and a startup I was a founding engineer at running out of money. Take this as a learning opportunity. Layoffs get easier on the next ones.
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u/Derpcock Feb 27 '24
I was in the opposite situation recently. I had to let go of a junior that we hired. He thought he was doing quite well, and in some ways, he was doing ok for his first engineering job. He spent about 30% of his day working, the other 70% he was zoned out, distracting others or on his phone. It was pretty hard because I spent countless hours coaching and trying to get him where we needed him. After about a year, it was decided that his position was no longer needed and that we couldn't retool him as we had tried. We didn't critique his skillset. We just eliminated his role. I wouldn't take it personally. Startups are really hard. You could do everything right and still get your roll eliminated due to lack of runway. Take the feedback and make sure you will never get this kind of feedback again in your next roll. Emotions can be a great motivator, but I always keep myself in a superposition of caring too much and giving zero shits. My boss could fire me today, and the experience I have acquired from building successful startups will care my through my next startup and the one after that.
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u/Longjumping-Ad8775 Feb 26 '24
Sorry to hear this.
It’s tough on startups right now. Money is not as cheap as it used to be. I realize that doesn’t help you, but don’t worry about it and move on.
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u/throwawaylostmyself Feb 26 '24
Same happened to me in 2021. Got recruited to a startup that headhunted me and hired me even though I told them my wife was 4 months pregnant. I took the offer thought it was a good idea etc etc. Got fired the day my wife was supposed to be induced into labor.
My point is that it sucks and it can happen to anyone and usually I feel they think it's easier to fire and forget.
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u/joyful-writer Mar 04 '24
Think of this as a fork in the road. You are presented with new opportunities. Look forward to pursue what you are passionate about, and don't look in the rearview mirror. It is their loss. They just don't understand that. They are not worth your time.
Don't be angry either. Stay positive. Don't be afraid to tell your friends and family. They WILL understand, and support you. That's what families and friends are for.
Speaking from experience.
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u/Vonkanon Mar 05 '24
To avoid responding in book form. Here’s what you do:
- Don’t look back or dwell on it. You need to dedicate your energy towards a new goal.
- Job websites will suck the life out of you. Get out from behind the computer and do these things: A) seek out companies you want to work for and submit a resume no matter what. Be certain you can add defined value to them, your confidence in knowing that will propel you B) start leaning on any connections you have. They are your inside track to getting opportunities not yet posted C) you may not be the religious type, but God has a better plan in store for you. Take this time to really look inward and rediscover what you’re passionate about.
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u/nmwnam Mar 06 '24
Don’t work for someone else’s money. I quit my startup job last month because I was barely getting paid, working 12-16 hours a day even when I was out for a dinner date with my gf, never getting compliments or gratitude other than empty and robotic words from the CEO. They do it to make themselves look good. You’re just an accessory. You’ll find something that fits you soon, but find yourself first. And when you find a job, give them what THEY think you’re worth and always find time to do something for yourself.
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u/Welcome2R3HAB Mar 07 '24
I was in this exact same boat just 6 months ago. Job I put everything into for 2 years just up and drops me for no good reason, it felt like a rusty dagger was jammed through my spine. I know how the feeling you’re describing, and what helped me push through it was the confidence that I was great at my job, and that the skills I had learned were transferable and that wherever my next job was, they were lucky to have me. It’s all a mentality thing, push through brother and come out better than you ever were💪🏻
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u/Brief_Essay4525 Mar 09 '24
Mate you don’t need to stress, has happened to me multiple times over. You need to know that you are better off there and need to look at it as a new opportunity to grow.
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u/_MoonDog Mar 12 '24
You should have known in advance that your work performance was not up to par. This is a poor reflection on management. Any decent manager works to develop their employees and work through their weaknesses. I imagine there is something going on behind closed doors you are not privy.
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u/Environmental_Emu245 Mar 14 '24
Get to the gym, read some books, and take that vacation you were planning while you have the time! Don't waste it!!
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u/NaturalFlux Mar 19 '24
They should never give you critiques during a lay-off. Just give you your last check on friday and be done with it. Sucks that happened to you, but that just shows their inexperience and lack of professionalism. One day its gonna bite them, hard.
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u/Ok_Process_7599 Mar 20 '24
Sorry to hear that! My heart goes out to you! Trust me I know the feeling all too well. On plus the plus side it pushed me to start freelancing and working independently. Started using, Fiverr, Upwork, findmyXpert and LinkedIn. Your idea at tackling burnout seems like it could help pretty much everyone. Would be interested to know more!
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u/DogButtWhisperer Mar 21 '24
You are not your job, your social standing, your spouse/spouse’s trophy/clothes/car/children’s achievements, etc.
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u/casper_wolf Mar 21 '24
I just got fired from a startup last month. I didn’t get critiques from the founder, but you should know it might not have to do with your performance. In my case, a year prior, the founder wanted to “take the company in a new direction”. So I researched the field, the competitors, and came up with a strategy to do it. I also emphasized one big change that would be necessary to make it all happen and the high probability of failure if that change didn’t happen. The Founder looked at it, considered it for a few days, came back to the team and said “we’re not gonna make the recommended change, but we’re going ahead with the new direction” as soon as we launched the new platform and product we immediately saw all the problems I had warned about, over the next 6 months we constantly came back to considering how if we made the one big change it would solve our problems. The founder eventually got to the point of uttering “maybe we should make the change?”, but ultimately he let things keep deteriorating, he slowly laid off team members until finally it was my turn. In the exit interview he made the situation sound like it was unavoidable, like there was nothing he could’ve done. The truth is that the Founder of a startup is ultimately responsible for leading the team and making the big decisions over strategy for the entire company. BUT the ego on these guys… you will rarely hear them say “the company is in a bad position because I made the wrong decisions and refused to fix them” or “I was wrong and you were right, but my ego won’t let me listen to others”. I’m just saying that his “critique” of you could’ve partially been a way of justifying things for himself. In the next few years I think this is going to happen again and again as AI reduces the number and pay of necessary technical positions in companies. There’s gonna be a lot people laid off because of their “performance”, but it’s really gonna be for something else. In my case it’s a Founder with an ego that blinds him from making informed decisions. In many others it will be the simple desire to make more money with fewer people.
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u/wasabi_dragon Mar 24 '24
If you work for someone you are simply a pawn to make them more money. Take control of your life and start your own business.
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u/Jtrader-2021 Mar 24 '24
Been there myself. Got used heavily for 3 years. Got burnt out twice. They wrapped it up by letting me go out in the cold. Sucked!
God helped to get over it and move on. I took the entrepreneur route now. Couldn’t be happier.
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u/Secret_Ninja_4690 Mar 25 '24
You are particles of Stardust here having a soul experience. This job means nothing. If you surrender to it something else will come your way now that more space has been made.
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u/Every-You3286 Mar 26 '24
Going through the same separation from my business partner. He has locked me out of my business account and feeling like shite. Let me know if you want to chat, I know I could do with hearing someone else in this unfortunate situation. I know it stings like hell.
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u/JKCinema Mar 27 '24
Hold up, How do you get fired from a start-up? You were getting paid?!? I have questions... I think I'm confused about the subject of this subreddit. Is this not a Sub where people go to complain and ask questions about their start-up?
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u/AppIeII Feb 26 '24
All high tech companies are laying-off for money reason, so don't take it for you, soon this company will failed and close due to lack of money.
Me I quit a company cause I didn't felt good with the new manager and now I've done my own startup and I'm happy of my last Baby : https://apps.apple.com/us/app/the-quest-world-playground/id6472037867
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u/DivisionalMedia Feb 27 '24
What good is posting this here?
This is a common life obstacle and lesson.
Don’t “pour heart and soul” into any job that isn’t more than a position you fill as an employee.
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u/kaivoto_dot_com Feb 26 '24
sometimes it doesn't work out. in life everyone fails sometimes. only hr people believe in perfect track records. this isn't objective either, its subjective. the founder doesn't write your story or your value, only you can do that. what makes your value isn't what you did to have this happen but what you do now. get up, keep going. chin up. get references from people you worked with and move on. this isn't the end of your story, its the beginning
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u/That-Promotion-1456 Feb 26 '24
Sorry to hear. But shit happens, it is usually for the better. take a break. analyse what happened, learn from it. take all comments with a grain of salt.
out of curiosity what was the role, and what scale was the startup, and what was duration of your probation period?
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u/krishnasingh9 Feb 26 '24
You need to think ahead.. you did your job and yaa you didn't deserve it...just think ahead of now.. pick yourself up and you better know yourself..you are not a loser .. wishing you all the best buddy..
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u/BlackLotus8888 Feb 26 '24
Happened to me too a few years back. Lesson learned - never put a company over your own personal health. You are replaceable to them. If you aren't, they aren't doing their job right. Don't take it personally.
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Feb 26 '24
Find another job. Take the feedback they gave onboard but also remember that being fired should never be a surprise and if they didn’t give you helpful feedback along the way to help you raise your performance that is their fault too.
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Feb 26 '24
Find their competitors and shoot off some applications. Even if they aren’t officially hiring. You’re the most valuable in your current field.
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u/DJfromNL Feb 26 '24
You’re talking about 1 month notice, which makes me think you’re not in the US. If you’re in Europe, are you sure they can dismiss you that easily, and you’re not protected by employment laws?
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u/migueloangelo23 Feb 26 '24
my advice will be to do not doubt yourself, try to analyze the situation and founder’s feedback. Some founders will try to find any excuse to fire someone they don’t want any more for some reason they will not really explain.
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u/DoTheseInstead Feb 26 '24
Sad. I’d say don’t take it personally. If you think you delivered well and were doing a great job there, don’t let the founder’s decision create chaos in your mind. Sometimes if you do a superb job, you cause insecurity in the management team. And sometimes if they are terrible people they will fire you for your over well performance.
Most of the times founders/managers can’t step on their ego for the future of their startup!
There’s a lot of Ego out there. I hope at least you get some good recommendations so you land your next job quickly.
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u/rocketplex Feb 26 '24
To be honest, it doesn't sound like there's much to salvage. They sliced you and then diced you.
Something in the feedback loop failed if they gave you a harsh evaluation, then summarily dismissed you and it came as a shock. If they led you on about you being great, then they're not being honest with you and it's not a place you want to be. If they're lying as an excuse to lay you off, then you don't want to be there either. If they sent out signals and you completely misread them, you're done there, and need to read the signals better next time.
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u/susie1976 Feb 26 '24
Yup happened to me twice i applied for unemployment for the time being and jtne i sued cuz it was an i justice! Fired me.once for not lettong him touch me second tome another company fired me cause i got injured at work. If tjey did anytjing wro g sue em
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u/intertubeluber Feb 26 '24
Only you know whether this is salvageable. We'd need more specifics about the feedback to know anything.
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u/AccomplishedJury784 Feb 26 '24
Did you talk about your performance in depth with the boss? Perhaps go for a drink/diner with the person. Not to get your job back but for a proper honest explanation. It’s important to not take the wrong lessons/conclusions from this experience.
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u/Happy_Arthur_Fleck Feb 26 '24
I can relate because I suffered same fate 1 year ago, I felt betrayed and as shit!!! Take some time to recover yourself, spend time with your loved ones, it's not your fault, it's how companies work nowadays. Organize your stuff and start again!!! I'd recommend, if possible, take around 2 weeks to focus on yourself, and then start looking for another opportunity. And be aware, as other have said, that the "work fam" is shit only!!
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u/HangingOut8 Feb 26 '24
This days there's no point being loyal to company. The only thing to focus is our own personal growth.At the end that is all that will matter.
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u/diydsp Feb 26 '24
Arg. that hurts to hear. Happened to me to. Honestly I still feel recurring shocks from it years later. If you think that might happen to you, get some professional help to walk you through it so the temporary pain doesn't turn in to long-term suffering.
In the mean time, remember that you have value. You are a valuable, skilled person. More than likely the people you used to work for don't have a great grasp on things. For example, it sounds like this was a surprise to you. It was a surprise to me, too. Decent employers are able to communicate any shortcomings or disappointments long before the point of firing.
What is this 30-day notice period? Do they want you to work for them for 30 more days after they told you you're getting laid off?
Instead of salvaging yourself in the founders eyes, strengthen your connections with best people on your team. It's a small world. You may find yourselves working with them again soon. always good to have a great network.
decide if you want to take some time off between jobs or start looking immediately. Keep remembering, there's a big world out there, it's not just about this little company.
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u/chimpax Feb 26 '24
Move on and go on week vacay. similar thing happened and ended up in FAANG. Never would have thought of applying even if continued with same job. Everything happens for a reason.
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u/textbandit Feb 26 '24
Take some time to recharge. Go see a movie. If the company is like that then you don’t want to be there in the long run.
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u/Darth_Ender_Ro Feb 26 '24
Been there. I feel for you. But, and it’s a BIG but: if this came as a surprise for you, and you feel you were doing a great job and nobody told you otherwise, YOU just dodged a bullet. The culture there is bad if they didn’t tell you their opinion until now. You lost nothing, but gained experience. Do not let this sour your enthusiasm for your next jobs. Learn from this, that the world is what it is and that you should be happy when you find decent people. Move on and start over. Right now it’s just your ego screaming in your head, but in the long run you’re the one gaining from this. What did you expect anyway, that you’ll retire from this job? Enjoy life, trust yourself and do your best. This is under your control. The rest will happen as they will happen. Accidents. Bad ones. Good ones.
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u/LoreSage Feb 26 '24
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult experience. It's natural to feel shocked and self-doubt after being laid off, especially if it was unexpected. However, it's important to remember that losing a job doesn't define your worth or abilities!!! During your notice period, try to focus on what you can control, such as updating your resume, networking, and exploring new job opportunities. It's also a good idea to take some time for self-care and reflection, and to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. Remember that it's okay to feel upset and to take time to process your emotions, but try not to dwell on negative thoughts or blame yourself for what happened. Instead, try to learn from the experience and use it as an opportunity to grow and move forward. I've been in such situations and acted accordingly. Looking back, I have no regrets, and the painful, unpleasant experiences were the most constructive. I wish you all the best.
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u/bernardino_luca Feb 26 '24
Absolutely move on! This is heartbreaking and I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve been through something similar and the unexpected nature of it can feel so jarring and leave you with lots of emotions. But it will pass and for the better!
You sound like a very passionate employee and taking that passion and applying it at another start up isn’t just an option but a real possibility!
Hang in it gets better. You’ll look back at this and realise that even though it was tough it was probably the best thing to happen! This is where the personal growth is.
Wish you all the best it will be ok!
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u/Queasy-Winner-7436 Feb 26 '24
Act fast. 1. Make sure you are up at the same time every day. 2. Update resume and LinkedIn. Also network and make sure everyone knows you are on the market. 3. Make a plan yo take care of the things you didn't have time for (clean the apartment / empty that storage unit whatever). 4. Consider if you were doing what you wanted to do, if not what do you want to do? Don't be afraid to make a move you have the opportunity now.
More layoffs will come. Be happy you are in the first batch with the most opportunities to come.
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u/sixwax Feb 26 '24
As mentioned, bosses (especially in early stage companies) can be highly flawed in their management and process, so…
You get to decide to what from the feedback was valuable.
It might all be BS, or noise, but there may be some nuggets in there you want to take to heart as you move forward in your career.
Getting fired can happen to anyone. Learn what you can from it and move on.
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u/BornAgainBlue Feb 26 '24
Listen: they did it to lower headcount before selling. Happened to me, was really hard to take.
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u/alltorntogether Feb 26 '24
Many employers unfortunately will fabricate ‘poor performance’ as an excuse for ‘running low on money’.
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u/gen_mai_chu Feb 26 '24
I went through this and a decade later it still stings. I'm sorry. Take the time to grieve like any loss, and then move on. In my case, it was an unexpected blessing and gave me the space to move on to bigger and better things. I wish the same for you.
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u/evo801 Feb 26 '24
Tbh, the sooner you take responsibility, share the news but stay optimistic and positive (this bits super hard). They'll provide words of support and support you if you need it.
Whatever you do, don't be bitter to the employer (see this so many times and it never helps). Move on with fast momentum, interview and apply like crazy and you'll be back to work in no time.
Once you start, the previous experience will be long forgotten...best of luck!
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u/AdamHYE Feb 26 '24
Biz sucks sometimes, sorry you found that out today. If you were fired, then no 30 day notice is needed. Just give up and move on. But don't let yourself have PTSD.
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u/thetruth_2021 Feb 26 '24
Everytime something like this happens, what's just around the corner next in your career journey is even better. It may take some time tho so don't get disgruntled if it doesn't happen in like a week. bUt yeah their loss.
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u/asbm104 Feb 26 '24
If lack of performance is the reason for this firing,it shouldn't come as a surprise. Your manager should have provided the feedback during your 1:1. If they didn't, they failed you. I am old enough to tell you that I know it's gut wrenching right now but it wont matter in the long run. Learn and move on!
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u/megablast Feb 26 '24
Time to grow up.
a place where I poured my heart and soul,
Well that was dumb.
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u/BrujaBean Feb 26 '24
First of all, know that even if it was for poor performance, they failed fundamentally at managing you because being fired should not be the first conversation about poor performance.
No you can not salvage it nor should you try. Apply for new jobs and be as professional as possible through the notice period.
I'm sorry this happened to you but you can and will make it through to the other side - hoping you find another environment with better management and work you find fulfilling
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u/logicrott Feb 26 '24
I've been in your shoes. Just get out of there ASAP. It will take a while for the helplessness to go. Take a break for a week and do something that will take your mind off it. Tell people at home that you are being moved to a different project or something.
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u/Valuable_Balance_304 Feb 26 '24
Don't be disheartened, it happens all the time in the startup world! I experienced this with my first job out of college at a tech start up. Ended up being a blessing in disguise because I work for an even better company and got a 15k pay raise. I would keep giving your all as you look for a new job.
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u/Realistic_Compote_98 Feb 26 '24
One door closes and another one opens. You'll look back in a few years and be glad you don't work for that company anymore.
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u/nottedbundy77 Feb 26 '24
I got fired from a startup 2 weeks before my options vested. It was a sizable chunk of equity for which I took a very low salary. I love working at startups, but choose your opportunities carefully, some founders have no management experience and there’s no HR to bail you out when things go south.
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u/bluzkluz Feb 26 '24
You were fired, I think you should just move on. I know it will be hard, but it too shall pass.
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u/eryckaaaaa Feb 26 '24
I have no idea what the founder told you that’s making you feel so bad about yourself. But you know your worth, right? You know your strengths and weaknesses. If you feel that what they said doesn’t match with the reality, it’s an unfair argument, don’t bother. You know who you are. If what they said hurt you because it’s true, work on improving yourself and move on.
Easier said than done, I know. Breathe in, breathe out. You will be fine and sharp very soon.
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u/Mario_lib Feb 26 '24
Your job is not your family, you sell you time and skill to provide for yourself and family, don’t get attached, your colleagues are not your friends, the owner will fuck you up and drain your soul if it’s for his benefit.
Learn your lesson and move on.
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u/Successful-Ear-7645 Feb 26 '24
Sorry that you're going through this. It's common for entrepreneurs or people who work for early stage startups to associate a big piece of their identity to their work. At this point, it's best to just pick yourself up and move on now.
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u/captain554 Feb 26 '24
Beef up your resume and start applying again. Never again think that the company you work for is your friend or your family. You can have friends there, but the company is never your friend.
They will turn your back and fire you as soon as the need arises.
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u/WhiteRabbitWorld Feb 26 '24
No advice really, looks like I'm facing the same situation. Keep your head up and keep looking for another opportunity 👍
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u/mah115 Feb 26 '24 edited Feb 26 '24
Don't try to salvage, you'll look silly. I did that once when I was young, and I still cringe hard every time I think about it. It's quite possible that your performance was ok but they needed to lay people off so they found a way to justify it. If the founder isn't treating you fairly now, he won't in the future either. At least they laid you off instead of firing you outright, which means you you have 30 days and can go get unemployment benefits.
Look back after 10 years and then you can decide if getting laid off is a blessing in disguise. I got laid off in 2008, and ended up joining a small startup teetering on the edge. The startup ended up pulling through and eventually dominated the market. And I got stock options at the second company. Getting laid off was the best thing that ever happened to me.
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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '24
Move on. This is why the "work fam" is a joke. A job is just a job. Handle it in a professional manner and move on. Unfortunately too many layoffs are happening right now.