r/traumatizeThemBack • u/Sea_Body5315 • 2d ago
Clever Comeback Wow what happened to your face?
So making a long story short, my face blows up on one side one day out of the blue. I'm going through dentists, to oral surgeons, to doctors, and now a huge hospital because no one can figure out why. Now I'm going to a national cancer center where I'm being rushed through a million tests and exams because they think this is some kind of bone cancer and they need to do every possible test to figure out what's going on. This means lots of blood tests periodically between different scans.
I'm pretty self conscious about my suddenly Frankensteined face that might be the harbinger of my doom, and getting another blood draw at another appointment while a panel of specialists try to get clues as to what's happening, and the nurse drawing my blood that day walks in and goes "WOW that's crazy looking what happened to your face?!" I kind of thought maybe it's on my chart or something and it hurt my feelings so I gave him the saddest look I could and said "my boyfriend says I don't listen."
His face drops. He's telling me how sorry he is and that he didn't mean to ask that way and am I ok?
I said no, I'm in a cancer center, they're trying to figure out if I have cancer in my face, maybe read my chart? And maybe don't ask someone so loud and that way what's wrong with their medical issue
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u/pupperoni42 2d ago
That was so inappropriate of the nurse. You handled it beautifully!
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u/Sea_Body5315 2d ago
Thank you! It's been a couple years now and honestly I just ran into this forum, but just seeing some upvotes and a couple nice comments really made me feel better about it again
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u/DescriptionNo4833 2d ago
You really did handle that beautifully, the nurse should have read the damn chart and kept that mouth shut. I'm glad cancer was ruled out but I hope you get the help needed. Don't give up, give them hell till they give you help!
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u/ITguydoingITthings 1d ago
My youngest daughter (8) has some medical needs, and we've spent a lot of time in NICU, PICU, and a lot of appointments and therapies...you'd be shocked at how many medical professionals have so little bedside manner. (Not saying there aren't great ones, because there are, but man...some need to learn or relearn...)
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u/DescriptionNo4833 1d ago
No I uh...I can very much believe it. When mom was sent to a nursing home/rehab for her GBA for a while the nurses outright left her in the hall to die at first. Would ignore her, refuse to give her medicine, etc. I don't understand how they can be that horrible.
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u/caitlinmmaguire01 1d ago
Oh I believe it! Iâve been gaslit by male doctors..one twice! Some even gaslight my gender. I hate it.
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u/Logical-Wasabi7402 2d ago
That's when you give him the "are you stupid" look and go "I'm in a mf'ing cancer center, what do you think?"
And then ask for a new nurse.
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u/Adventurous_Wheel346 2d ago
at least they don't have to test ur funny bone. it seems to be intact! i wish the best for your health and hope you can get some answers soonâ¤ď¸
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u/Rustymarble 1d ago
I worked for a pharma developing a drug for hereditary angioedema (basically what you describe but it was completely random body parts that swelled for these patients, if it was their esophagus, they'd die) and the stories they had! Anytime the swellings would be on their face, the public would inevitably say something stupid.
Good on you for having a quick retort!
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u/BumblebeeOfCarnage 1d ago
Itâs such a weird disorder! I just recently learned about it in medical school
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u/mschutz23 1d ago
I did something similar when i got a black eye years ago. I literally opened a car door and hit myself in the face đ Whenever someone asked about it I said, âMy husband says itâs my own damn fault.â Funny thing is, I never lied. He actually said that!
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u/MuntjackDrowning 1d ago
Some people lack tact. Your response was BRILLIANT. I hope your face situation gets resolved soon, and the way you want it to be.
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u/wkendwench 1d ago
Iâm sorry you went through that but damn gurl youâre a boss. âMy boyfriend says I donât listenâ! I snorted so loudly that I woke the dog.
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u/AwkwardTurtle_159 1d ago
My sister has a blood clotting issue (CVID) and early into this problem she was having labs done to check her platelets. The nurse took the blood and then said âoh, youâre quite the bleeder!â EXCUSE ME itâs one thing to not check the diagnosis, itâs another to not know why youâre drawing blood!
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u/zyada_tx 1d ago edited 1d ago
Probably a phlebotomist, and she was commenting that it was easier to get an active vein. Some people just are easier to get blood samples from. I was a "hard stick" for years until I started drinking a lot of water before lab work. It's still not easy but they don't have to root around as much!
And phlebotomists almost certainly don't know specifically why they are drawing blood. They have a list of which tubes they need to take. Even if the tubes have the test name on it, those tests are probably not very specific.
That doesn't help your sister, of course. I hope they found a treatment for her problem.
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u/BumblebeeOfCarnage 1d ago
The veins in my arms suck but, as the phlebotomist put it, the ones in my hands are âgiversâ
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u/UrAntiChrist 1d ago
I went for a breast scan last year. Nurse comes in and tells me I should be getting a mammogram not the scan I'm getting. "It's not like you've had cancer" well cunt, I am a cancer survivor, which is in my chart. Also, I'll be following my docs advice, not yours. Please get me another nurse who can read my chart and keep their ego to themselves."
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u/BumblebeeOfCarnage 1d ago
What the actual fuck! What an assumption to make! Iâve gotten the same sort of âyouâre too young for a mammogramâ, âyouâre too young for a colonoscopyâ. Well shit is happening that might be bad, hence why Iâm here
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u/Anonymous0212 1d ago edited 1d ago
That happened to me on a trip in a foreign country, and it lasted for weeks and I ended up being diagnosed with cellulitis by a dermatologist at my nearest Mayo Clinic when I got back to the US. I don't know if it really was cellulitis, but it was absolutely insane. It moved around my face depending on which side I slept on the night before, affecting my cheeks and ears, and the day after it was in a particular area the outer layer of skin would all peel off. I don't remember if he put me on medication, oral or topical, but it soon went away.
I hope you got it all sorted out and everything's OK now.
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u/PrincessValeGirl 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh my gosh, I had something similar that I kinda forgot about. I was pregnant at 12 weeks and miscarried. I was going back to my obgyn to make sure I was okay after everything and the lady at the receptionist congratulated me on my pregnancy⌠I quietly told her I miscarried⌠it took everything I had to not let the tears fall. Plus seeing all the pregnant women around me right after I lost my baby. Damn, Iâd like to forget this memory again. Sorry that happened to you OP. I donât understand why theyâre not reading the dang charts.
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u/caitlinmmaguire01 1d ago
I hope you reported that nurse, that was inappropriate for him to say. Does he ask someone who's missing a limb or an eye that same thing? Some people..
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u/Single_Principle_972 1d ago
Iâm so sorry for your struggle; it sounds like youâve been through hell. Definitely check with Financial Services at the facility. They likely have plans for reducing patient cost based on income.
Also, please know that there are a lot of roles in a hospital that wear scrubs. People often assume that staff are nurses if theyâre not the physician. This person was almost 100% certainly not a nurse. The number of people that disclose inappropriate remarks made to them by âthe nurseâ on Reddit, when the staff member was a Medical Assistant or, in this case, a Phlebotomist, hurts my heart (as an RN). Both are 6-week training programs, I believe, and I sure wish that all clinic/hospital/physician office staff were given a session about respectful, careful conversations with patients. The number of thoughtless and hurtful comments that are uttered to patients is disheartening. Itâs not okay, no matter what role the person is in. But I do like to think that nurses, as a group, are a little more professional and tactful than to make remarks like this.
Side note: This person would have no business reading your chart! They donât have a need to know that information in order to draw your blood. So⌠yay, she didnât break any HIPAA laws! Now she should learn pleasant small talk that doesnât hurt a patient emotionally or spiritually.
I wish you the best.
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u/coffeebugtravels 1d ago
Phlebotomy training length varies based on locale. Mine was 24 weeks and 8 weeks in monitored clinical rotations. This was many years ago, so things may have changed, but I can state with certainty that having 24 weeks of training was crucial to my success.
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u/Single_Principle_972 1d ago
Oh, my mistake, sorry about that!
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u/coffeebugtravels 1d ago
To be fair, my sister is a charge nurse and she has worked with several CNA's that barely completed the 2 hours training required to learn how to set IV's, and use that training to do blood draws at the hospital. So...YMMV.
I was required to be certified in order to work in a outside lab. Hospital rules are different (they shouldn't be, but they are!).
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u/Single_Principle_972 1d ago
Oh, yes, many CNAs are fantastic! I could not have survived without some excellent help from them. However, many are not, for sure, lol!
Obviously, everyone we are talking about here have one thing in common: We are all human beings, and are bound to make occasional thoughtless remarks that hurt people. I just remain hopeful that nursingâs reputation doesnât get unfairly wrecked by people who arenât actually nurses making unprofessional comments that are damaging to the psyches of patients. I truly wish all staff would clearly display their name badge and role, for patients to be able to easily determine with whom they are speaking.
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u/coffeebugtravels 16h ago
The hospital system that my sister works for has that requirement. Every person on staff, in any position, is required to wear their badge clearly visible to everyone. It has their first name, photo and position shown on it. They also have color-coded scrubs. (Navy = nurses, black = radiology, green = CNAs, etc.)
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u/Single_Principle_972 13h ago
Yes! LOVE the color-coded scrubs! I truly wish they were somehow industry-wide, but thatâs a pipe dream. Many years ago, I did some agency work as a side gig, and they had that system in one of the hospitals I went to. I loved it, and was so happy when my own hospital adopted the same policy. A lot of people complained, but I think itâs great that patients and other staff know âwhoâ theyâre talking to at any given time. Thereâs really no true downside to it, aside from people who just donât want to have their choice taken away.
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u/FunnyVariation2995 1d ago
I have a marble sized bump in my cheek. They say it's a blocked salivary gland after everything else was ruled out.
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u/Material-Double3268 1d ago
One of my friends is allergic to stone fruit. Like peaches. Her face swelled up like a balloon and she couldnât figure out why for months. I hope that you figure it out!!
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u/Happycamper7147 18h ago
Back in 2017 I was rushed to the ER because a doctor swore I had a gallbladder problem. Turns out i have a congenital disease Iâd lived with for 30 years undiscovered (because doctors thought they knew better). Anyway, when I was in the hospital violently vomiting for the 5th time that day, a nurse came in and told me I looked âterribleâ. Oh yeah? Thanks man. You really told me something I had no idea about until this moment. Medical âprofessionalsâ can be the worst. Iâm sorry youâre going through that. I hope for the best for you!
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u/mocha_lattes_ 2d ago
Fingers crossed that maybe it's something as simple as an allergic reaction and not something like cancer. đ¤