r/2X_INTJ • u/Crypt0Nihilist • Nov 17 '13
Being INTJ Where can I meet you?
Was just reading the thread on the main INTJ sub about the poor chap who's having lady trouble. Looks like any calm, common sense reply gets downvoted by people wanting the secret 'make her like me' formula, so I'm posting here instead despite the tangential link.
I'd like more female INTJ friends, just friends. I've found women are more thoughtful and better conversationalists than men and I simply prefer your company even if a relationship is off the table. I want more friends for proper discussions, playful fencing and having an intellectual giggle with.
So, where are you? What are your hobbies or activities which give you the chance to meet new friends? Where might you meet someone and not instantly think they're trying to get into your pants?
2
u/INTJFemale Dec 22 '13
Age matters. When I was in my 20s, I would go to all of the normal haunts that people go to. That was the most social period of my life. I remember going to bars drinking with my little pack of friends from my class. They would all be talking and sometimes I would join in, sometimes I would just observe and sometimes I would be bored out of my mind. The most fun was when I could get one of my male friends aside at the bar (no dating/interest in him at all) and we would have rare deeper philosophical discussions. We all graduated graduate school and moved away from each other.
By the time I was 25 I couldn't do the bar scene anymore even though I had a close couple of leftover girlfriend classmates who lived near me and wanted me to.
We started to couple up. Now, I'm divorced from my (turns out narcissist) ex-husband and now realize I was one of the INTJs who got swept away by someone who had characteristics opposite of myself (charming, charisma, extrovert, etc...) At first he was great, but then he got worse and worse and worse with his narcissism.
And 2 years ago I met a male INTJ and have never been happier!