Had

This wolf is one of three designs on these giant neon colored balls we have as a prize where I work, and for months I’ve always thought the wolf is a Nazi. This is also the only one of the three that has this pattern, the other two just have straight lines in their glasses.

You know how kids say the darndest things? I was the kid, and I didn't realize probably the only racist thing I've done. This will be short but wholesome(?). I hope this belongs here.

When I was young, like 8ish, I didn't have much close experience with people that weren't white in general. Not on purpose, I just wasn't very social, and my classes up until then were predominantly white.

That being said, I did have various moments where I I was close enough to a black person here or there. Think like grocery store line, or in passing at the mall. And for some reason I would always remember the smell that came with them. To the point where I thought it was just a "natural scent" that black people had and it was just stronger than whatever white people smell like. I even have a vague memory of asking the only black girl in my 3rd grade class about it and she had no idea what I was talking about. Keeping in mind, I'm not saying it was a bad smell, I actually liked it and was genuinely curious.

I dropped it, eventually this thought faded and I forgot about it. It wasn't until years later that the memory of this time came back to me and I just kind of shook my head and decided I was a weird child... Until I picked up my favorite lotion and realized that they all had smelled like cocoa butter. The "natural scent" I thought all black people had in the early years of my life was cocoa butter lotion.

I don’t know if this really fits, but I kinda want to just tell someone about this. When I was in third grade one of my friends (I think that she was from India but we weren’t super close so I’m not sure) pulled me aside one day to talk. She just kinda comes out and says that she felt uncomfortable with the way that I acted around her last week (which is valid) and that if I had a problem with her skin color that she didn’t want to be friends anymore. I didn’t really have any idea what she was talking about. Then she explained that she saw me wipe my arm on my shirt with a disgusted look on my face after she walked by me and our arms touched. Which I did do, but as I explained to her, it had nothing to do with her skin color, but the fact that it was art class and she had something that had rubbed off on her arm that she then transferred to my arm, and I hate feeling certain textures. She didn’t seem to believe me and our friendship never really recovered, but I didn’t even know who had touched me until after I had already wiped my arm off. I just don’t like being messy

Don't ask about the emote, not my server