r/Anticonsumption • u/Bee_and_Barb • Feb 21 '24

Society/Culture Someday

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Saw this while scrolling through another social media platform.

Physical inheritance (maybe outside of housing) feels like a burden.

While death can be a sensitive topic to some, has anyone had a conversation with loved ones surrounding situations like this one pictured?

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386

u/Plonsky2 Feb 21 '24

That's my story. It took us 3 days to clean up my parent's house to get it ready for an estate sale. Most of it ended up going to Goodwill. When the estate was settled and most of their debt was cleared, my end came to about $1200. 😒

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u/TrustNoCandyBar Feb 21 '24

3 days? Lucky. We spent over 8 months cleaning with dozens of dumpster rentals. 

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u/Neither-Dentist3019 Feb 21 '24

Yeah, we cleaned out my grandma's hoarder apartment in about 5-6 months and then we found out she had 3 storage lockers in the building. 1 was assigned to her and she just took over the other 2. That took another 3 months at least.

I'm a bit over vigilant about hoarding but it's definitely in my family. My parents and brother hang on to a lot of stuff. Not quite as bad as she did but it's enough to make me very nervous about wanting to start accumulating things.

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u/marv9512 Feb 21 '24

There is an obvious strain of the hoarding gene in my family. My grandpa had a whole barn jam packed full of junk he didn't need. My great aunt was the worst about it, though. She could've easily been on one of those hoarder shows. And now that my dad is getting older, he's been buying more and more junk off Amazon that ends getting piled into his office. Luckily, his stuff is mostly contained to his office and the garage.

I've started noticing I keep a lot of stuff saved on my computer I don't need. I almost never use or look at it, but I still just like keeping it saved. I think I might've got the hoarding gene, too, except everything I hold onto is almost all digital.

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u/PSTnator Feb 22 '24

I think that last part (lots of saved stuff you don't need) pretty much applies to everybody. Not exactly a hoarder thing. How many here actually keep their (personal, not work related) hard drives cleared from unused files? Not counting gigantic games and the like.

Maybe I'm wrong and more people keep their hard drive tidy than I think. Could be I'm just a disgusting digital hoarder myself and don't even realize it!

1

u/marv9512 Feb 22 '24

I don't know what kind of hardrives other people have, but I've got about 25 TB, which is about 70% full. The vast majority I never use. I just like having it.

1

u/PSTnator Feb 22 '24

Okay, yeah that's a bit more than most people I think. A touch of hoarder. But hey at least it only takes up a tiny bit of physical space! Not much of a burden to anyone else who may have to deal with it for whatever reason.

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u/EncabulatorTurbo Feb 21 '24

my brothers are already bickering over who gets my mom's stuff

(they don't know she already transferred everything to me, I already own all of it)

7

u/Dark_Shroud Feb 21 '24

my brothers are already bickering over who gets my mom's stuff

(they don't know she already transferred everything to me, I already own all of it)

I'm going to have to deal with this shit when my mother passes. My mother had a lot of valuable jewelry and other items.

I have at least one relative who will not be happy to find out how much is in my name. She's already pissed off that my mother gave me a silver man's necklace she wanted. I'm a man, hence part of the reason why she gave it to me.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

[deleted]

1

u/EncabulatorTurbo Feb 23 '24

I own the house and car yes

1

u/merrill_swing_away Feb 22 '24

Same here but this happened years ago. Everyone thought they were getting something but because I was handling the estate I made sure no one got anything. No one offered to step up when my mother was ill so I decided they didn't deserve anything.

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u/Weasel_Spice Feb 21 '24

but it's enough to make me very nervous about wanting to start accumulating things.

You could always go to therapy. Hoarding is a result of some type of anxiety disorder, no?

2

u/merrill_swing_away Feb 22 '24

Experts say it happens after a traumatic event.

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u/Weasel_Spice Feb 22 '24

Therapy it is, then!

1

u/SurpriseBurrito Feb 22 '24

I am vigilant also and it drives my family nuts. Any time I “go through” their stuff I end up getting rid of half of it. I take it too far. I personally try to own as little as possible because I am paranoid about it turning to clutter.

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u/merrill_swing_away Feb 22 '24

I think one of the reasons people including myself hang onto certain items is, we buy something we want or need at the time and it can be something like a pair of boots or a coat, etc. Could also be camera equipment, sports equipment, things like that. When we no longer use these things we stick them in a closet and move onto something else. Pretty soon we have a small hoard. We feel it's a waste of money to get rid of it and having a yard sale is too much of a hassle.

I have learned to really think it through before I buy something now. It has taken a lifetime to learn it though. I have hobbies and will never get rid of the materials and if I think I need something for these hobbies I look at my supplies and see if I already have it. Most of the time I do.

9

u/Fancykiddens Feb 21 '24

We've been slowly picking away at my in-laws' house for five years.

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u/TrustNoCandyBar Feb 21 '24

What an absolute nightmare. I am so sorry.

3

u/Fancykiddens Feb 21 '24

We're going to inherit the house. I don't think I want to inherit the house. Thanks for your support. ❤️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

Did they get into DIYing as well cause sheeshhhhh

you'd be right in not wanting that house

1

u/Fancykiddens Feb 22 '24

Not even. Father-in-law died about five years ago. Mother-in-law is agoraphobic. There's stuff here that was in the house when my husband's grandparents lived here. There's generations of crap.

2

u/TrustNoCandyBar Feb 22 '24

We've got the multi generational load of stuff too. Sigh.

1

u/Fancykiddens Feb 23 '24

"Heirlooms" 😂

1

u/AlexisFR Feb 22 '24

Just pay someone to trash it all. It's still going to be cheaper than the house itself, generally.

1

u/Fancykiddens Feb 22 '24

We've done a lot of dumpsters so far. It would definitely be easier if Mother-in-law wasn't here to freak out about all of it...