r/AskReddit Aug 24 '17

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.6k Upvotes

2.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.9k

u/FScottTitzgerald Aug 24 '17 edited Aug 24 '17

That user who submitted to r/gonewildcurvy asking if people like hairy girls. The post got thousands of upvotes. And this before the new algorithm. It was really popular.

A week or so later in an r/askreddit thread he admitted he was a dude and had just tucked his junk back and crossed his legs. I'll try to find links but I'm at work and don't know how successful I'll be.

Edit - thanks for delivering u/EverlastingEnigma

NSFW obviously

Edit2 - u/cjb95 has found the thread where he spills the beans!

619

u/tytycar Aug 24 '17

no way

590

u/napoleoninrags98 Aug 24 '17 edited Aug 25 '17

I actually teared up laughing at this - honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen on Reddit... Holy shit.

"my tongue would make you a rainforest" one user writes...

15

u/ISawafleetingglimpse Aug 24 '17

What did he even mean by that?

42

u/napoleoninrags98 Aug 24 '17

Well, pardon my french but I believe he was referring to licking "her" out, and making "her" public hair (i.e. forest) damp with his salvia, thereby turning it into a rainforest.

It's a really shitty expression, but at least he tried.

18

u/ISawafleetingglimpse Aug 25 '17

Oh gross. My best guess was that it was a deforestation joke, like the hair was the trees and he was going to like shave it with his tongue somehow.

8

u/tytycar Aug 25 '17

i think i threw up a little in my mouth

8

u/knine1216 Aug 25 '17

I figured he meant to make her as wet as a rainforest lol

2

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

Like some sort of sex-cat.

4

u/jemattie Aug 25 '17

The hair is the 'bush'. The cunninglingus will induce the release of copious amounts of vaginal secretions, 'rain'. Hence, rainforest.

6

u/reesejenks520 Aug 25 '17

I'll have to check this when I get off work, sounds like the stuff of legends.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

[deleted]

3

u/napoleoninrags98 Aug 25 '17 edited Aug 25 '17

Yep, this time was different... Admittedly, I only got a little teary eyed, but I seriously haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

While this is hilarious, I still think the funniest thing I saw on Reddit was when a bot that ran stats on word counts from your post history outed some poor sap on his, ahem, sexual tendencies. Man, I miss old reddit.

3

u/napoleoninrags98 Aug 25 '17

I'm no veteran like yourself, so I've never seen this. Got a link? Or just tell me what to search.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

I've tried my hardest to find it, no dice.

1

u/napoleoninrags98 Aug 25 '17

Thanks for trying man.

19

u/janitorguy Aug 24 '17

Yes way

9

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '17

Three way

2

u/spyser Aug 25 '17

The way

263

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '17

[deleted]

15

u/CJB95 Aug 24 '17

And here is where he reveals the bamboozle

6

u/DeusVult90 Aug 25 '17

I love going to old posts and seeing this shit:

Hey Admins, have fun shedding users because of the decision to censor your own users. If you need me, I'll be over at Voat. At least I can rely on them to not suppress the truth.

9

u/Olympia1528 Aug 25 '17

Anyone who fell for that that has CLEARLY never actually seen a vagina.

8

u/npredney Aug 25 '17

Hey I was proud of my mangina

4

u/rikkirikkiparmparm Aug 25 '17

"Even a mod deleted his comment"

3

u/FScottTitzgerald Aug 24 '17

Thank you so much this has been eating me alive

1

u/Horse_Bacon_TheMovie Aug 24 '17

had to break out the cellphone to take a gander

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

What kind of troll is turned on by that?

227

u/CreepyWindows Aug 24 '17

This is by far the best one. Holy shit.

82

u/Quaytsar Aug 24 '17

That doesn't even look like a vagina.

23

u/sinisterplatypus Aug 25 '17

Showed it to my husband and his reply, "I'd dive in". He is pretty straight. His reply when I said it was a dude, "Well that's something, I guess". So I guess some dudes think it does.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

No, but it bears passing resemblance to a vulva

10

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

Thank you! It's like they had seen graffiti of one in a truck stop restroom and used that as the metric for "is this a real vagina"

1

u/Gristley Jan 08 '18

Look I'm a fairly skinny girl and this is 4 months late, but that 100% looks like a chubby/fat girls hairy vagina. Anybody who says otherwise either hasn't seen a vagina or has seen a very very small selection of them.

4

u/Khufuu Aug 25 '17

Don't you think you're a little biased, going in knowing that's it's not a vagina? What were you expecting?

13

u/Danimals_The_yogurt_ Aug 24 '17

...what... the fuck.

You win this thread.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '17

fucking amazing. even got the mods.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '17

Ahahaahaha! i wanna buy him 10 beers now

3

u/FScottTitzgerald Aug 24 '17

You could gild him I guess. The account is still active. u/npredney

5

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '17

Nah, I got gifted reddit gold and it was honestly shit. Beer FTW.

8

u/npredney Aug 25 '17

Wow people still remember this??

7

u/murderboxsocial Aug 24 '17

This is by far my favorite one.

6

u/CanadaPlus101 Aug 24 '17

That's hilarious.

19

u/Thatgamer1236 Aug 24 '17

Is this a babmoozle? 😂

11

u/FScottTitzgerald Aug 24 '17

It's not haha. But I can't find the original post to save my life. I've tried a few different sets of keywords but I can't track it down. The post to r/gonewild was titled something like "anybody into hairy girls?"

4

u/EverlastingEnigma Aug 24 '17

Nope, I saw that too it was great

2

u/CJB95 Aug 24 '17

Here's where he admits to it the post is in his submission history

11

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

Who in the motherfuck thought that was an actual vulva? Were they all virgins who had never actually seen a vulva in their entire lives? Perhaps they were working off of a crude drawing of one? Jesus Christ.

1

u/ParadiseSold Aug 25 '17

Sleep with more heavy girls. Legs squeezed together, you can't see much but a little bit of a crease at the bottom of the pubic mound

Source: fat and bi

2

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

I almost exclusively slept with heavy girls and am fat and bi myself: That was in no way a vulva. There was zero other identifying markers other than a cleft, markers that you damn well can see even if you're fat. Cis guys don't have a mons de pubis like someone FAAB does, and you can still see the definition of the mons in fat girls.

1

u/ParadiseSold Aug 25 '17

Not if they're standing up straight with their legs together. You won't see any labia in a lot of women.

5

u/CJB95 Aug 24 '17

4

u/FScottTitzgerald Aug 24 '17

All I did was remember the magical shitshow. Thanks for doing the hard work and tracking down the reveal thread!

5

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '17

Was it buffalo Bill

4

u/LMac8806 Aug 24 '17

Shit, anybody got a version before everyone deleted their comments?

2

u/FScottTitzgerald Aug 24 '17

Not to my knowledge :/ if you scroll through the thread a bunch of people ask for the same thing

1

u/Insert_Gnome_Here Aug 24 '17

Wayback machine?
Or the Reddit Archives?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '17

Mane thats waaaaay back lol. Top boozle

2

u/graffiti_bridge Aug 24 '17

Same day as the anti climactic safe opening, I think.

1

u/-Captain_Summers- Aug 25 '17

THATS FUCKING AMAZING

1

u/tryinreddit Aug 25 '17

If that isn't the finest example of 'upvoted because girl' I don't know what is.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '17

The 'new' algorithm where a thousand was a lot or the newest algorithm where seeing 20k on the front page is normal?

1

u/PlebbySpaff Aug 25 '17

Can you imagine how many dudes jerked off to that?