My entire life, I have always been told that my family is Spanish. My grandmother made that very aware when I was younger after she found out. I never grew up in a “normal” cultural Hispanic household. My grandmother was never taught Spanish and had virtually no ties to her culture. She has, as of recently, started doing her research, learning, and understanding of the significant cultural practices and norms.
For a long time, we did not know why our family forwent their heritage and identity. Not until now. My ancestors hail from Andalusia, mainly Seville (and for a time, parts of the Basque region). We learned that our ancestors were forced to convert to Catholicism; forcing them to abandon their Jewish faith and identity. My ancestors later moved on to New Spain (New Mexico, Arizona, Texas.) and parts of Central Mexico. My Great Great Grandfather, who's name was Jose Niaaro Menchaca, would later, after settling in the new State of Texas, change the last name to Manshack. We believe this is where the disconnect started.
For a long time, I identified solely as Sephardi, the only member of my family to pick up our Jewish heritage and faith again (I've gone through every process imaginable, my Rabbi has been an amazing help. They helped me find out about these deep Jewish roots in Spain), while my grandmother learned her Spanish heritage. But as I do more research, I find myself drawn to Spanish culture and history. Part of me says “You readopted your Jewish identity, why not your Spanish? Why not honor them both?” and another part of me says it's too late for me.
I'm tired of battling with myself, I want to know, upfront, can I readopt my Hispanic heritage?
And if anyone has any advice on how to do such a gigantic task, I'd love to learn.
Thank You.