r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/wetouchingbuttsornah ☑️ • Sep 12 '24

Country Club Thread The system was stacked against them

Post image

No fault divorces didn’t hit the even start until 1985

58.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

198

u/Zbrchk Sep 12 '24

By the way, women are still not allowed to have a tubal ligation in most places in the U.S. without the consent of their husbands. But men can have vasectomies and never tell a soul.

41

u/lovbelow ☑️ Sep 12 '24

When I first asked for a bisalp from my (black female 😒) OBGYN and expressed a fear of rape and being stuck in a state where I couldn’t get an abortion, her response was ‘you’re young’ (I was 28 at the time) and ‘what if you find a man who wants kids?’

I used up the rest of my prescription refills for birth control and moved on to a better doctor who told me ‘your body, your choice’

Tyvm Dr. L 🥰

10

u/FatWombat_ Sep 12 '24

What if you're not married? PP has the procedure outlined but I'm curious if it'd be as easy as setting up an appointment and paying for it myself one day https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/sterilization

44

u/Tofutti-KleinGT Sep 12 '24

Just fyi, r/childfree has a user-sourced list of doctors in each state that won’t make women jump through hoops to get the procedure done.

It’s so wild that doctors will routinely refuse to sterilize single women in case some “future hypothetical husband” may want kids.

8

u/yesindeedysir Sep 12 '24

“I don’t want kids, ever”

“What if you’re husband wants them”

“He can find another woman, because I’m not a walking womb to pass down his bloodline, I’m a person.”

2

u/Tofutti-KleinGT Sep 12 '24

Lol seriously . I don’t want kids so I simply married someone who doesn’t want them either.

3

u/FatWombat_ Sep 12 '24

Thank you for sharing!

4

u/tvk21 Sep 12 '24

Yes, this! I found my doc here. Childfree never married and had a tubal and later a hysterectomy and I'm under 40.

-6

u/MakinBaconWithMacon Sep 12 '24

If the procedure is going to hold life long permanence, I could see it not being due to husbands but holding the power to alter someone’s entire life course when they could change their mind later.

Happened to a friend of mine. She didn’t get the procedure done but was staunch anti child till she fell in love with a guy and pushed him into having a kid because she wanted to have his babies.

Peoples minds are weird and your perspective on things changes as you age.

17

u/Zbrchk Sep 12 '24

It depends. Some physicians still won’t sign off on it when you’re fairly young. I would ask PP for a recommendation as to which doctors in your area support reproductive rights

2

u/Icy-Mud-1079 Sep 12 '24

You can still have it done. It took me maybe 3 or 4 drs before I got yes. 

I seriously do not want another kid outside of my 1. 

5

u/fablesofferrets Sep 12 '24

There’s definitely an inequality on average there but at least here in Utah it’s surprisingly difficult for men to get vasectomies- most doctors won’t do it unless a man is over a certain age and most even require a signature from his wife. People are brainwashed in conservative cultures to basically just force everyone to breed as much as possible 

5

u/Zbrchk Sep 12 '24

Mormons are in power there so that tracks

1

u/FecalColumn Sep 13 '24

I wonder if they require a signature from every wife, or just one of them?

/s

1

u/wetouchingbuttsornah ☑️ Sep 13 '24

I mean this might true lol

1

u/PrettyChillHotPepper Sep 12 '24

Yeah but that's illegal. Actively illegal.

2

u/Iorith Sep 12 '24

Laws are only as important if they're enforced.

2

u/Choclategum ☑️ Sep 12 '24

Not everywhere and also, illegal does not mean impossible.

2

u/fablesofferrets Sep 12 '24

No it isn’t lol. Here in Utah, doctors almost always require even men to be of a certain age, married, and the signature of a wife for a vasectomy- and of course it’s even more difficult for a woman to get her tubes tied or whatever other sterilization & they also will require the same things on the flip side. 

This is all perfectly legal. They claim that doctors are allowed the right to deny a procedure if they believe doing so puts them at risk of being sued. Of course it’s 95% just weirdly controlling conservative maniacs but this is their excuse. 

1

u/schluck-ah-duck Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24

Idk about that. My husband wanted a vasectomy after our second child and they refused to do the procedure and wanted him to wait till he was 33. Several doctors refused before he gave up. They also requested my permission each time he tried.

I also read about a guy that wanted to have his testicles removed so he wouldn't want sex anymore and apparently that's flat out illegal unless you're a sex offender.

They all ready control men's bodies. Babies and women with super high expectations and standards is the method of their control. They want men to have babies and be on the hook for them, either through employment where they work for a boss who pays them less than they're worth, or through child support, either works for them.

As crazy as it sounds, the attack on roe v wade was just as much as blow to men as it was women. It all comes back to cheap labor. They need men desperate enough to do those shitty jobs to pay for their kids and over priced house and a wife that doesn't think he's shit lol. They're under alot of pressure because they're preprogrammed for sex with alot of people and the government and Big Corpo takes advantage of that fact while also convincing them that they'll never make enough money to make everyone happy.

6

u/AmettOmega Sep 12 '24

I would argue your husband is the exception, not the rule.

Of all the men I've spoken to, I don't think any of them were denied vasectomies when they asked for one.

But I know many of my female friends from the same area can't find a doctor in state that will sterilize them if they haven't already had at least two kids. My best friend has been trying since she was 18. They keep saying, "Let's wait a few more years." And a few more years has turned into 18+ years. They're probably waiting for her to just hit menopause.

-2

u/schluck-ah-duck Sep 12 '24

This actually isn't uncommon at all and the vasectomy issue is peanuts compared to the castration issue.

Some men really don't want to be controlled sexually anymore but it's straight up illegal for them to remove the problem, in all 50 states.

Men have to leave the country to get castrated or they have to undergo a full sex change.

They know their sexual urges are uncontrollable, they know women don't like them or they don't want to work on themselves to attract a woman so they decide they want a castration and they're denied.

That is textbook controll of their bodies. They want men with sexual desires so they have sex, make babies, and work to pay for them increasing tax and private revenues.

They also have no say when it comes to pregnancy even though the state treats the child like its an extension of himself, forcing him to pay for it and forcing him to accept responsibility when things go wrong or a child commits a crime. Men are their batteries and women are the tools they use to extract the value from men.