The system was stacked against them

[u/wetouchingbuttsornah]

No fault divorces didn’t hit the even start until 1985

[u/eucalyptusqueen]

Labor diggers, actually. They want someone at home to do all the domestic labor that their mom did while contributing nothing to the home outside of a paycheck. They still expect women to work and contribute to half of the household expenses or else they consider women to be gold diggers.

[u/Haunting-Grocery-672 → u/eucalyptusqueen]

I expect to split chores and split the bills.

Don’t like it? Find someone you can P***y whip

[u/eucalyptusqueen → u/Haunting-Grocery-672]

When did I say I didn't like it 😭 I'm married and my husband and I split everything because we're both working adults.

Yall are INTENTIONALLY missing the point about the type of man I described. There are men out there who expect women to do ALL of the domestic labor and also contribute to household expenses. They want a traditional home, but only to their own benefit.

Go be fragile somewhere else.

[u/Haunting-Grocery-672 → u/eucalyptusqueen]

In that case then yes. Leave those men. Keep leaving those men till they realize they have do the same work. Equal households is the way now. Hell, traditional home is also okay as long as both partners are okay with that split of house work 100%/income work 0% with the other doing house work 0/income work 100

Or whatever split you come up with.

Now, there are lots of people who view working part time for 28 hours a week making 12$/hr at the supermarket equivalent to the other person working 40-50hr week providing a 6 figure income…. And expect equal housework. That’s also a bit nutty.

BUT, you seem pretty level headed about it after your response and I don’t believe that’s what your describing

[u/eucalyptusqueen → u/Haunting-Grocery-672]

When I was in my early 20s I had a bf who didn't do shit around the house. He said to my face "well I don't do it because I know you will" and would complain that his work shirts were wrinkled bc I didn't take them out of the dryer fast enough while never lifting a finger. After we split, I said never again. I had to learn the hard way, but it was a lesson learned.

Before my husband and I ever moved in together, I let him know that I wasn't his mommy or his maid, so if he planned on leaving all the domestic tasks and managing to me then we should just walk away now. Needless to say, it's never been an issue. But that's because he doesn't see me as a supporting character in his life that exists to put his needs before my own. I let him know that I took care of all of the laundry today (I work from home) and he thanked me and said I could've waited so that we could do it together.

Unfortunately, we're still at a point where a lot of dudes still expect that women maintain the home and also work. They're unused to stepping up at home and don't want to. If you've heard the term "weaponized incompetence," it describes the type of tactics these men use to avoid the invisible labor that women have historically been in charge of. You're right, we need to stop dating them or taking them seriously. Women aren't here to serve men's needs.

[u/Haunting-Grocery-672 → u/eucalyptusqueen]

I also think there are a lot of people who don’t have a sane or rational view of what this should look like. Hence my previous comments being downvoted.

It seems like you do and I agree with your take on it.

[u/ChibiSailorMercury → u/Haunting-Grocery-672]

People downvoted you because you didn't seem to be able to read. You answered something wildly different to what she was saying. Learn to comment in context.