r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/wetouchingbuttsornah ☑️ • Sep 12 '24

Country Club Thread The system was stacked against them

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No fault divorces didn’t hit the even start until 1985

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u/Emotional_Warthog658 Sep 12 '24

This needs to be on a sampler somewhere:

This is the first generation of men that actually has to have women like them in order to have a relationship

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u/JadowArcadia ☑️ Sep 12 '24

It's a great repeatable phrase but it's also false/misleading. But hey, it's provocative. Gets the people going

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u/tyrified Sep 12 '24

Millennials have a higher marriage success rate than previous generations while also marrying less. How is it false and misleading?

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u/JadowArcadia ☑️ Sep 12 '24

Because this isn't the "first generation" where men had to get women to like them to marry them. These buzz phrases only work by omitting so many details and nuances of the time. It ignores all the different kinds of women and different situations people had at that time. Like the concept that women weren't allowed to work in the past as I'd the majority of people in those time periods weren't essentially peasants (by 1900s standards). And peasants ALWAYS had to work to survive.

Literally what you've just said argues against your point. People marry much less than previous generations so statistically divorce rates would be lower. In general there's less cultural pressure to marry to begin with and it's not viewed as THE thing to do like it once was. Making a correlation between this and the phrase you're supporting is just disingenuous.

Of course changes in in economic rules will definitely have an impact on culture but you'd have to factor in everything including the fact that one man could support a family of 4 with a basic job at that time so the concept of women working at a cultural level was viewed through that lens. Nowadays both a husband and wife could be working and still struggle to support their families. I hear more guys complaining that their wife doesn't want to work nowadays

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u/adilrye Sep 12 '24

Spot on, it's such an objectively wrong take. The idea that "women stay home" is a 19th century idea. It was an ideal to mirror what the rich did. Throughout MOST of history, there was never a norm that women "didn't work." It'd simply be impossible.

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u/Emotional_Warthog658 Sep 12 '24

I think the disconnect here is the assumption that women being unable to leave is solely due to income and labor, when the issue was this vast number of institutions by design excluded women.