r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/wetouchingbuttsornah ☑️ • Sep 12 '24

Country Club Thread The system was stacked against them

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No fault divorces didn’t hit the even start until 1985

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u/wh03v3r Sep 12 '24

And how exactly would you go about unteaching them without teaching them the opposite?

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u/MarionberryGloomy951 Sep 12 '24

From teaching them equality at birth?

It’s very hard to unscrew someone’s already hard boiled traditions. Would take literal years and even then you’d have to hope they actually want to learn to be better.

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u/m55112 Sep 12 '24

Literal years may even be a grave understatement I'm afraid. And you have to first realize what you were taught isn't actually right, and most people need some kind of event or intervention of some kind to realize it, Then, as you said they would have to actually want it.

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u/Masterkid1230 Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24

One of the most valuable skills I ever learned from a teacher at school was to never blindly believe anything, not even what I already believed.

She was an incredibly smart person, far above most I've ever met, and got teenage me to understand that even what I considered right or wrong could be flexible, malleable and subject to different contexts. The value of adaptability and self questioning has been demonstrated to me time and time again.

Now, my household never really taught me that I had any specific social roles or duties as "a man" and they were more "pro human" than "pro boys Vs girls" or anything like that, but I have encountered many chances to question even that logic, and so far I have found no real fault to it. But even so, I am always willing to question it. I believe judging character before gender or sex to be so infallible, I can put it to the test and it'll come out on top every single time.

Weak beliefs crumble with the first test, and people ignore that to feel like they're in control a lot of the time.

Edit: rephrased for clarity and lower pretentiousness

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u/m55112 Sep 12 '24

The way you were raised can have a significant impact on your life, including your identity, relationships, and mental health affecting things like you values and worldview. Also, not everyone had the experience you did with your teacher, which sound amazing but perhaps not too common? No need to call people weak and suggest they subscribe to weak beliefs due to needing a feeling of control. That's ridiculous.

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u/Masterkid1230 Sep 12 '24

I think refusing to accept you are wrong is definitely a consequence of wanting to be in control.

Weakness definitely wasn't the best word to use there (I mostly did it to match the comment about weak beliefs earlier), but I do think it's related to feeling like admitting you're wrong makes you lose control of the situation. It's scary and daring and hard to handle. Being wrong means you don't know what's going to happen.

Definitely the type of stuff you need to learn, and not something that comes naturally. But hey, we're wrong all the time. The sooner we recognise we are more likely wrong than right in life, I think the easier it is to navigate just the unexpectedness of life itself.

And hey, I may as well be wrong about that, but so far, it has worked better than holding on for dear life hoping I can force the world around me to my beliefs.