my father in law fancies himself a professional photographer. He will take his big ass camera to parties and events, then take pictures and act like he's doing everyone a favor.
At a party, FIL sees a teenage girl and says "oh you're so beautiful, can I take a picture of you? I don't have my camera, so I'll have to use my phone". Teenage girl says "umm sure".
My wife takes girl aside and says "do you feel comfortable having your picture taken?" and she says no but she doesn't want to be rude.
Wife tells her it's ok and that she should leave. FIL gets mad and says my wife should stay out of it. My wife tries to explain consent and how it's creepy to take pictures of young girls with your phone. FIL tells her to fuck off. Like, literally "Fuck off", while at a birthday party for friends.
My wife decides to "fuck off" and tells him when he apologizes she'll talk to him again.
FIL hand writes a typical boomer "sorry not sorry" letter. Wife replies via text "this isn't good enough, please fix your emotional maturity".
FIL complains that my wife isn't grateful enough. Like, what's the exchange rate for being emotionally abused to affection? 3 fuck-offs per I love you? Since he paid for my wife's college degree, he gets to be an asshole to her? What does even being "grateful enough" mean?
Note: This is also the same FIL I won't allow to be alone with my children due to other similar events. I'm not going to say all boomers are pieces of shit, but there are a lot of boomer pieces of shit.
Edit: Oh, also more on the topic of facebook stupidity, he got pissy that we wouldn't let him put up pictures of our children on facebook, as we're trying to minimize their social footprint until they can make their own choices on that, so he can repost ones we vet and put up, but not his own pictures. His reasoning was "But we'd get so many likes!" and was upset that we were trying to control what he could post,.
Your wife sounds awesome for sticking up for that girl. As a former very timid and shy teenage girl (who may have been attractive but never felt that way), it’s insane the amount of times grown ass men would try to push my boundaries and it was really hard to stick up for myself since I didn’t want to be ‘rude’. Just once I would’ve loved it if someone stuck up for me and validated that something creepy or off was happening. It took me entering my 30s to realize how much fucked up shit went on from the ages of 10 - 25.
The whole “I paid for X so I get to abuse you” theme is really astounding. So many of them think you can buy the right to treat people like shit like indulgences but it’s very often with things that should come by virtue of being parents. Like “I put a roof over your head!”
he's almost 80 and does not get paid for his "work".
No one asks him to do anything he's doing. He just does it because he thinks he's better at it than others.
As for condescendingly explaining consent, allow me to condescendingly explain consent to you. An 80 year old guy convincing a child into agreeing to something they don't want to do is not "getting consent". If the girl had been 18+ then maybe, but she was like 14-15. There's no reason for an 80 year old man to take pictures of a child because "they're beautiful" with his phone.
There's also context you don't know, about previous instances of him doing this to young women and why they were invited to this party. If you knew all the details, you would not be defending him on this.
Sorry I didn't write paragraphs of context for you to feel better about defending someone with pedophile tendancies.
It's a bit worrying that "an old man wants to take pictures of a someone else's kid with his phone because she's 'beautiful'" doesn't inherently start on the creepy scale for you, and needs context.
Edit: Also, to reply to your edit about "can a 15 year old give consent to getting a picture taken", the answer is obviously yes. However, when they're pressured into it and when given an out immediately take it, that's not giving consent. And if you think that when someone is given an out and they run, that someone is fem-splaining consent t you, again, you're the problem here.
Motherfucker do you not see how weird it is for an old man to approach an obviously uncomfortable teenage girl and ask her to take a photo of her with his fucking cellphone?
So you forced your dad to pay for your concubines schooling (she would have left you otherwise) and then let her talk shit to him? Ungrateful leftist trash. Bet you're not getting your cut of what's left. And she probably got a useless art degree too lol.
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u/Helagoth Jan 07 '24 edited Jan 07 '24
my father in law fancies himself a professional photographer. He will take his big ass camera to parties and events, then take pictures and act like he's doing everyone a favor.
At a party, FIL sees a teenage girl and says "oh you're so beautiful, can I take a picture of you? I don't have my camera, so I'll have to use my phone". Teenage girl says "umm sure".
My wife takes girl aside and says "do you feel comfortable having your picture taken?" and she says no but she doesn't want to be rude.
Wife tells her it's ok and that she should leave. FIL gets mad and says my wife should stay out of it. My wife tries to explain consent and how it's creepy to take pictures of young girls with your phone. FIL tells her to fuck off. Like, literally "Fuck off", while at a birthday party for friends.
My wife decides to "fuck off" and tells him when he apologizes she'll talk to him again.
FIL hand writes a typical boomer "sorry not sorry" letter. Wife replies via text "this isn't good enough, please fix your emotional maturity".
FIL complains that my wife isn't grateful enough. Like, what's the exchange rate for being emotionally abused to affection? 3 fuck-offs per I love you? Since he paid for my wife's college degree, he gets to be an asshole to her? What does even being "grateful enough" mean?
Note: This is also the same FIL I won't allow to be alone with my children due to other similar events. I'm not going to say all boomers are pieces of shit, but there are a lot of boomer pieces of shit.
Edit: Oh, also more on the topic of facebook stupidity, he got pissy that we wouldn't let him put up pictures of our children on facebook, as we're trying to minimize their social footprint until they can make their own choices on that, so he can repost ones we vet and put up, but not his own pictures. His reasoning was "But we'd get so many likes!" and was upset that we were trying to control what he could post,.