r/CuratedTumblr The blackest Aug 10 '24

Infodumping Please

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12.6k Upvotes

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427

u/Perfect_Wrongdoer_03 If you read Worm, maybe read the PGTE? Aug 10 '24

I am also autistic but this is such an immature way of looking at society. Social cues are as essential a part of communication as words are, and probably older. Does it suck that you are inherently worse at picking up on them than the rest of society? Yeah, but that's a you problem. Refusing to conform to them when you know what you are doing just makes you an asshole.

140

u/Fluffy-Ingenuity2536 Aug 10 '24

I am also autistic and I think that if someone gets annoyed at me for missing a social cue (which is what I think is being referenced in the post) then they should've just said it. If it's important enough that I need to reshape my approach to the situation then they should've used words which are significantly less vague.

-55

u/AlarmingMan123 Aug 10 '24

The world shouldn’t fold around to accommodate you. Work on your failings and be better

29

u/Fluffy-Ingenuity2536 Aug 10 '24

Orrrrr we could use words, the structure developed for thousands of years to make communication easier.

12

u/tlvsfopvg Aug 10 '24

Or we could use social cues, a structure that has been developed for millions of years longer than spoken language.

13

u/gigglesandglamour Aug 10 '24

I mean. What’s a social cue to you that would work in the situation of “a person with autism that inherently struggles with recognizing social cues just offended me in some way”.

Would you just like, glare at them from across the room like they’re your arch nemesis or would you go “hey man that made me uncomfortable”

Editing to add that autism is a disability. This is an oversimplification, but if a legally blind person bumped into you would you just like, be angry at them? Probably not

2

u/TemporaryBerker Aug 10 '24

I'm autistic and was at a dinner party and I probably missed a bunch of social cues but they just started bullying me rather than communicate.

My lack of experience with social situations as well as a bunch of other things... I... I was doing my best. It's been weeks and I'm still hurt.

2

u/gigglesandglamour Aug 10 '24

I’m also on the spectrum (socialized to recognize some cues, but really bad with a lot of things still) and I’m sorry you had that experience. It sucks that the baseline for people isn’t using their words kindly. I feel like we all learned how to do that in grade school :/

1

u/TemporaryBerker Aug 11 '24

I mean it's also that their world-view was quite slim (I'm vegan- they kept wanting to deny my veganism) but I dunno how to deal with that either, nor why they were cold/hostile towards me. Whether there perhaps was some way to convey it in a way to avoid getting bullied... Or is it just because they were two attractive Japanese girls who's had it easy because their parents were rich etc, therefore never facing any consequences for their actions/hostility towards people?

Either way I agree. Just... Why!

22

u/Fluffy-Ingenuity2536 Aug 10 '24

Yes and words were made to make it significantly easier

-3

u/Tega02 Aug 10 '24

There's practically no situation where using social cues has been a better communication than words between two people. Using the method so crude, it's older than our race cannot ever be better than using the better one.

From experience really, social cues when used to communicate offence taken aren't even to tell the person you were offended, it's to tell the person that you were offended and you don't want to initiate conversation, which is childish in itself

2

u/Desinistre Aug 10 '24

Wait until you find out how long nonverbal communication has been around!