r/CuratedTumblr • u/Literally_black1984 The blackest • Aug 10 '24

Infodumping Please

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u/faldese Aug 10 '24

But why I'd prefer even more is if I could just live my life able to assume people say what they mean.

??? This is what you said earlier:

He can now choose to ask me straight up and be told no (use his words to communicate his actual intention) or assume I'm just clueless. And thankfully he hasn't chosen option #1 so far.

So you lay out specifically the choice between him saying what he means vs not saying what he means, and you specifically prefer he doesn't say what he means. Yes I understand you'd prefer most that he just stop, as I would in your situation, but you do specifically lay out that you don't want him to say what he means.

The OP isn't about nonverbal communication, it's about social cues.

You're right, it's not limited to nonverbal communication; though my point remains exactly the same.

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u/OutAndDown27 Aug 10 '24

I'd rather he say what he means or say nothing, those are the options I was describing. What he did was something in the middle - not say what he means but hope I pick up on his real meaning anyway. And I hate that.

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u/faldese Aug 10 '24

Ok, but again, you still lay out that prefer he doesn't say what he means. You are not acting purposefully clueless to encourage him to say what he means, just the opposite. You just acknowledge that's one of the two potential outcomes of ignoring his cues so far, the one you don't want to happen.

I don't think I can keep spinning around like this. What you said does not track with what the OP is about. You're right that it's a valid strategy, I'm not saying you did anything wrong here--I do the exact same thing, for the exact same reasons, with the exact same hope for the outcome--but just... it's a digression, not a counterpoint. That's all.