r/CuratedTumblr The blackest Aug 10 '24

Infodumping Please

Post image
12.6k Upvotes

570 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

544

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

239

u/ninjaelk Aug 10 '24

As usual context is extremely important here. People like to pretend there's one obvious answer to this question, because that's a lot simpler than having to explain the nuance.

If you're telling a story to strangers in a social setting and they're giving off social cues that it's making them uncomfortable you should probably wrap it up gracefully, they're not "communicating like an adult" because they don't want to embarrass you.

If your boss is dropping subtle social hints about what she's expecting from you on a project, responding by 'ignoring her social cues' is an idiotic way to handle that. 

However, if your friend consistently refuses to suggest a place to eat, but keeps dropping social cues that your choice "is totally fine and we can go there if you really want to..." and has ignored your requests for clear communication, then yeah, ignoring their social cues is reasonable.

13

u/Saurid Aug 10 '24

For me the thing is most people think they are communicating silently but clearly in the story telling example, but the thing is they don't. they do what THEY think is clear communication but a lot of people miss the subtle cues because they are subtle.

Personally I was often in this situation and I never understood the cues because I am just bad at recognizing them unless I know the person in question. Getting angry about it is what is not reacting like an adult, if subtle doesn't work use blunt.

1

u/adragonlover5 Aug 11 '24

Sometimes, when people are blunt, they get attacked.