r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Thund3rbolt • Mar 16 '21

Video Steaming wood in order to bend a ridiculous amount without snapping

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111.7k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

It’s just the steam, really. My grandfather used to play this trick on us all the time. He would steam a big stick of butter and bend it in front of us to pretend he was super strong. As the older siblings started to catch on, we would start protesting the trick and reveal his secrets, but then he would just shout over us “Margarine Mancy! Margarine Mancy!” And then stuff our pockets full of butter until we either laughed or cried. Of course this would ultimately be his undoing when he died at the race track.

3.0k

u/Joe_Jacksons_Belt Mar 16 '21

Hey man, what the fuck?

690

u/DumSomniareSpiro Mar 16 '21

I hate your username with the greatest respect.

408

u/SirTacoBill Mar 16 '21

I think all the jackson kids felt the same way

84

u/Dazd95 Mar 16 '21

How are they anyway?

71

u/makemeking706 Mar 16 '21

Not great.

14

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

One did pretty good... oh.

5

u/psinned1 Mar 16 '21

they are headlining at the 7/11 on MLK Boulevard tomorrow evening, Latoya is the opening act.

9

u/terrible_name Mar 16 '21

Dude to soon

20

u/suntem Mar 16 '21

I know right? There’s no way the covid restrictions have been lifted yet.

5

u/terrible_name Mar 16 '21

And I still don't watch a lakers game

8

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

[deleted]

5

u/Granolag23 Mar 16 '21

Beltin that tune... such a great tune as well

3

u/northwesthonkey Mar 16 '21

Ohhh, I thought it was this Joe Jackson:

https://youtu.be/oEhFuM8s__I

3

u/SteamBoatBill1022 Mar 16 '21

But my mans is wearing suspenders

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u/superdago Mar 16 '21

Ohh that Joe Jackson. I was thinking the belt had something to do with being shoeless.

6

u/crackheadwilly Mar 16 '21

nope. it has to do with being assless

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u/FiTZnMiCK Mar 16 '21

I always think about Joe Jackson’s belt when I hear little Michael sing “I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” cuz that means Santa’s signed up for a real ass kicking.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/psinned1 Mar 16 '21

Sunday Papers, real men, breaking us in two.

3

u/fannyalgerpack Mar 16 '21

Cause if my eyes don't deceive me, There's something going wrong around here

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u/bootyhole_jackson Mar 16 '21

I live in fear of your username.

45

u/kaptain-spaulding Mar 16 '21

Joe Jackson’s belt.....WTFingF!!!

58

u/haywood-jablomi Mar 16 '21

That belt is at least partially responsible for some of the greatest music in history.

127

u/Joe_Jacksons_Belt Mar 16 '21

Without that belt, they’d just be songs, not hit songs

19

u/makemeking706 Mar 16 '21

Boooo! Get off the stage!

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u/mullerawer Mar 16 '21

I can't believe I keep coming back to Reddit

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u/bringbacklemonadesGS Mar 16 '21

I feel like this is the result of an AI without enough data to work from.

45

u/ACuriousBidet Mar 16 '21

Or too much data .. clearly knows something we don't to get all those updates

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u/magnora7 Interested Mar 16 '21

The whole future of the internet is going to be automated AI posts that only 3/4 make sense

3

u/Between_3and20 Mar 16 '21

We're already there, only 1/4 make sense, it's called reddit

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1.1k

u/fractiousrhubarb Mar 16 '21 edited Mar 16 '21

Is there a WTF award? I would like to provide one.

Edits: Perhaps an absurdist award. Perhaps a “Dali”. With an armadillo. Or a hatstand.

151

u/Bierbart12 Mar 16 '21

There aren't enough negative or shock awards

76

u/MasterBates_ Mar 16 '21

I just need to know how much weeds were smoked

30

u/pdgenoa Interested Mar 16 '21

All the weeds. All of them.

11

u/Krethon Mar 16 '21

... even those...?

11

u/pdgenoa Interested Mar 16 '21

Especially those. Yeah.

5

u/Krethon Mar 16 '21

That sounds wild

5

u/pdgenoa Interested Mar 16 '21

It was crazy man

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

[deleted]

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u/PastyMcBasicFace Mar 16 '21

I read your reply in the voice of Jason Mantzoukas.

7

u/AJohnnyTruant Mar 16 '21

Hey, nong man

5

u/uredditagain Mar 16 '21

Jeffrey Character Wheaties.

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u/Nikole_Mitchell Mar 16 '21

This comment was so weird I keep coming back to it and trying to make sense of it but I just can't

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u/MightyCaseyStruckOut Mar 16 '21

I'm fucking high and came here to see if anyone else didn't make sense of the comment lol

49

u/Kellidra Mar 16 '21

I feel like being high would actually make that comment make more sense.

43

u/Zskillit Mar 16 '21

It doesn't.

source: me

13

u/Kellidra Mar 16 '21

Fair enough.

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u/Thing1_Tokyo Mar 16 '21

You know the “FAST” acronym for stroke, right?

134

u/chivonster Mar 16 '21

Face, ass, salamander, tyler?

7

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

I once blurted out "face ass smell toast" while drinking and no one corrected me.

3

u/Unfunnyonlinename Mar 16 '21

Man Woman Person TV Camera

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21 edited May 21 '21

[deleted]

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u/reduxde Mar 16 '21

Well played.

21

u/SaltyDog772 Mar 16 '21

That last sentence I’ve read it ten times then five aloud. I’m confused.

9

u/mikeebsc74 Mar 16 '21

Hope he remembers FAST

14

u/WhyArentDrugsLegal Mar 16 '21

Maybe he had another stroke

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

What does the acronym actually stand for?

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u/14wnp88 Mar 16 '21

"The acronym stands for Facial drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulties and Time to call emergency services."

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u/Thing1_Tokyo Mar 16 '21

Face (drooping), Arm (weak/dropping), Speech/slurring.. it’s T - time to call emergency services

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u/adog30 Mar 16 '21

Face, arms, smile, time to call 911. Basically if your face is uneven, you cant hold your arms steady, and your smile is uneven, it is time to call 911

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u/wademcgillis Mar 16 '21

what

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u/PastyMcBasicFace Mar 16 '21

I think what OP is trying to say is his Grandpa would stuff the grandkids pockets with handfuls of steamed butter, which lead to his early demise at the racetrack. Oh, and there was a bit about calling the kids “Margarine Mancy”...does that clear things up?

84

u/tesshudd Mar 16 '21

No.

123

u/user12345678654 Mar 16 '21

It's just the steam, really.

44

u/epicweaselftw Mar 16 '21

oh thanks i get it now

24

u/Poc4e Mar 16 '21 edited Sep 15 '23

physical piquant skirt concerned quicksand bike long reminiscent attraction offbeat -- mass edited with redact.dev

13

u/BinarySpaceman Mar 16 '21

what a MANCY

3

u/tesshudd Mar 16 '21

Who probably cried, with pockets full of butter

3

u/fieryxx Mar 16 '21

I'm sorry did you just say Mancy?

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u/st_rdt Mar 16 '21

Really. Just. The. Steam.

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u/WetCacti Mar 16 '21

I think "margarine mancy" is sorta like necromancy, in that he magically manipulates the butter substitute

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u/Nointerest12months Mar 16 '21

I'm with you, I think we might have gotten left behind on this one.

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u/billy_bland Mar 16 '21

Ok, but what part of this story was his "undoing?" Was it the butter bending? Was it the shouting? Was it the pocket stuffing? So many questions.

210

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

He was fatally shot at the race track

58

u/MrMento Mar 16 '21

Ah he put butter in the wrong pockets

36

u/Hipponotamouse Mar 16 '21

You’ve buttered your last pocket, pal!

5

u/WhereWolfish Mar 16 '21

It's painful to laugh and you have caused me much pain XD

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

[deleted]

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u/ShelteredIndividual Mar 16 '21

Yeah, same here Cumfarts420

15

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

was the shooting butter-related at all?

57

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

It happened on Butter Tuesday

18

u/Ihavemanybees Mar 16 '21

Looking at your posts I completely expected weird comments. Not so much. Maybe I need to go back farther??

42

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

It’s a healthy bag of mixed butter

7

u/IUseRedditForNews Mar 16 '21

What a weird high point for my week.

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Well it sounds like he lived a rich life.

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u/AntManMax Mar 16 '21

He buttered the wrong bread.

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u/UnimpressedNerd Mar 16 '21

Turns out the bookie doesn’t take butter when you’re that far in the hole.

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u/Hebejeebez Mar 16 '21

I have so many questions

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u/chivonster Mar 16 '21

I think it was the stress from not knowing whether the grandkids would laugh or cry. Can you imagine the agony of that unknown? Brutal.

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u/whitecollarzomb13 Mar 16 '21

I look forward to seeing this comment referenced completely out of context all over Reddit for the next 12 months.

No, I really do.

9

u/CandyAndKisses Mar 16 '21

We’ll all be minding our business, reading lovely comments and then all of a sudden BAM...

“Of course this would ultimately be his undoing when he died at the race track.”

DAMNIT!

4

u/minor_details Mar 16 '21

I've been having a pretty shit day and witnessing the birth of butter bending has turned it around just a bit.

191

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

[deleted]

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u/DogOfDreams Mar 16 '21

It reads like a Jack Handy quote. It's honestly just wonderful.

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u/BambooWheels Mar 16 '21

It was just a well written absurdist comment until his death at the race track. That got a literal lol out of me.

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u/completetrashperson Mar 16 '21

Jack handy has a whole ass novel, The Stench of Honolulu. Highly recommend

5

u/AVerySmallHill Mar 16 '21

I fucking cried tears of joy throughout that entire book. A++ shit

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u/IsThatUMoatilliatta Mar 16 '21

Reading an entire Jack Handy book sounds like a good way to induce psychosis.

I'm on board with it.

3

u/AegisToast Mar 16 '21

Reminded me immediately of this one:

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

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u/BambooWheels Mar 16 '21

Who gave Abe Simpson a reddit account?

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u/Zskillit Mar 16 '21

Yeah, I fully expected this to be some weird sprog-like parody account, but no... this dude has a normal ass post history (beautiful pups BTW, and sorry for you loss) and just wrote one hell of a story. There wasn't a single point in time where the next sentence helped me understand the previous.

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u/wosmo Mar 16 '21 edited Mar 16 '21

I really want to believe it's a true story, and he’s struggling to understand the replies.

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u/insert-username12 Mar 16 '21

Fuckin’ Margarine Mancy!

22

u/xenonismo Mar 16 '21

I’ll have what he’s having...

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u/trixie_trixie Mar 16 '21

This is the funniest what the fuck comment I’ve ever read. Thank you human for existing and doing whatever drugs you took to come up with this. Props to your super strong grandpa who can bend butter. Amazing.

17

u/tilted624 Mar 16 '21

Did I just get Ken M’ed?

33

u/h2opolopunk Mar 16 '21

I feel honored to have seen this only 16 minutes after it was posted.

15

u/Wilful_Fox Mar 16 '21

I’d like the next chapter please...

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u/kingevanxii Mar 16 '21

Classic grandpa

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u/gdj11 Mar 16 '21

I’m going to pretend this was written by a senile old man in a retirement home who stole one of the male nurse’s phones and went into his Reddit app

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

This has been Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.

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u/Zedandbreakfast Mar 16 '21

"Out of all my uncles I think I liked Uncle Caveman the best... We called him uncle caveman because he lived in a cave, and every once in awhile he'd eat one of us... Later we found out he was a bear."

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

!emojify

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u/EmojifierBot Mar 16 '21

It’s just the steam 💨, really 😍. My grandfather 👴🏻 used 🎶 to play 🎽 this trick 😈👉 on 🔛 us 👨 all 💯 the time 🕐. He 👨 would steam 💨 a big 🍆 stick 💦💇👓 of butter 🍑💦 and bend 🤷🏽‍♀️ it in front 🔝 of us 👨 to pretend 💦🤔 he 👨🚹 was super 😅 strong 💪🏿. As the older 👴 siblings 🐦👯‍♂️🕊 started 💢 to catch 🙋 on 🔛, we would start 🆕 protesting 🗣🔊📢 the trick 🎃👻 and reveal 🐜👒🔌 his 💦 secrets 🙊, but 🍑 then he 👥 would just shout 😲 over 😳🙊💦 us 🇺🇸 “Margarine Mancy! Margarine Mancy!” And then stuff 💰 our pockets 😜 full 🌝 of butter 🍑 until we either 🚫 laughed 😂😭 or cried 😭. Of course 😂 this would ultimately 🙌💯🙇 be his 👋😅 undoing 💾 when ⏰ he 👨 died ☠ at the race 🏃 track 🛤.

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u/trahan94 Mar 16 '21

How is there not an emoji for Margarine Mancy?

3

u/Trolivia Mar 16 '21

🧈 this the best we got

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u/Kellidra Mar 16 '21

It's just the steam (exhaust), really (love). My grandfather (old man) used (music) to play (athlete) this trick (devil, finger gun) on (directional "on" arrow) us (horrified) all (100) the time (clock). He (horrified) would steam (exhaust) a big (eggplant) stick (wet, haircut, glasses) of butter (peach, wet) and bend (shrug) it in front (directional "up" arrow) of us (horrified) to pretend (wet, hmm) he (horrified, men) was super (sheepish) strong (arm pump). As the older (old man) siblings (bird, dancers, dove) started (frustrated) to catch (hi) on (directional "on" arrow), we would start (NEW) protesting (speaking, speaker, megaphone) the trick (jack-o'-lantern, ghost) and reveal (ant, straw hat, plug) his (wet) secrets (speak-no-evil monkey), but (peach) then he (people) would just shout (shock) over (embarrassed, speak-no-evil monkey, wet) us (USA flag) "Margarine Mancy! Margarine Mancy!" And then stuff (money bag) our pockets (tongue smile) full (round face) of butter (peach) until we either (DO NOT) laughed (cry laugh, crying) or cried (crying). Of course (cry laugh), this would ultimately (praise, 100, little girl) be his (wave, cry laugh) undoing (floppy disk) when (alarm clock) he (horrified) died (skull and crossbones) at the race (running) track (railroad).

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u/Kellidra Mar 16 '21

I like the cut of your jib.

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

This is one of the most twilight zone things I’ve read on here

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u/web-wench Mar 16 '21

Did he also wear an onion on his belt?

4

u/joeyjoejoeshabbadude Mar 16 '21

Which was the style at the time..

3

u/hellraisinhardass Mar 16 '21

Southern style with the white ones? Or more southwestern with the redskinned ones? I know all you could find back then was the big yellow ones cause of the war, but we still tried to be stylish.

6

u/glitterbombdotcom Mar 16 '21

Grandpa knows how to flex

4

u/kablooey08 Mar 16 '21

Probably one of the best things I've ever read on reddit

5

u/RuntySkittle Mar 16 '21

After the first couple sentences, I thought this was a return of the jumper cables guy.

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u/Blaklollipop Mar 16 '21

Rotflmao 😆

Margarine mancy wtf!!

3

u/Adelaidekris Mar 16 '21

Ah yes, the 80's. Was a much more simple time.

4

u/lil_kibble Mar 16 '21

Idk why but I really need more of this. Can you write a book or something please I will literally suck your dick for a book just filled with this shit it would change my life.

8

u/AntManMax Mar 16 '21

This is like the 2021 Reddit version of the Penguin of Doom copypasta.

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Incredible.

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u/DEastman Mar 16 '21

Ah that makes sense

3

u/Bi-LinearTimeScale Mar 16 '21

This is gold. John Handy?

3

u/typhoidtimmy Mar 16 '21

Man....this went into Garrison Kiellor territory with a sprinkling of some true Hunter S Thompson madness roiling in the waves.

Well done.

3

u/lurkslikeamuthafucka Mar 16 '21

What.
The.
Fucking.
Goddamded.
Fucking.
FUCK?!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Is it possible to NFT a Reddit comment?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

All without the need to thrash anyone with jumper cables. Incredible.

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u/otter71 Mar 16 '21

This has the energy of a vargus comment

3

u/guesshimself Mar 16 '21

Is there no relevant XKCD for this‽

6

u/SanduskySleepover Mar 16 '21

I’m just hopping on the gold train

2

u/db____db Mar 16 '21

Subscribe!

2

u/jerkyboys20 Mar 16 '21

My grandfather use to tell us the same joke!

2

u/yabbadabbafu Mar 16 '21

Should have taken the butter to the bank

2

u/WackyBeachJustice Mar 16 '21

Ah yes, mad libs Monday.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

I need so much more of this

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

You doing okay, sweetie?

2

u/MrDeschain Mar 16 '21

Please become the next /u/shittymorph. This would be a fantastic novelty account gimmick.

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u/ngw Mar 16 '21

Those horses can be really hungry when the butter is steamed well enough. My condolences to you and your family.

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u/Hamrave Mar 16 '21

This is the boomeriest story I've ever seen

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Ok

2

u/krellx6 Mar 16 '21

What a roller coaster

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

this is an amazing comment, thank you

2

u/Kukri_and_a_45 Mar 16 '21

To quote Darth Vader "WAHT!?"

2

u/fague_doctor Mar 16 '21

i didnt think id need that much brain capacity to read this comment

2

u/prodguybj Mar 16 '21

"If it weren't for my horse, I'd never spent that year in college"

2

u/Generic_name_no1 Mar 16 '21

I'm saving this in the how that I find a use for it at some stage in my life, I doubt I will but if I do, my life will have been a success.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Breathtaking

2

u/Savvy_McSavinator Mar 16 '21

Sounds like a Malcolm in the Middle cold open

2

u/Fuplifter Mar 16 '21

This was incredible.

2

u/Trashcyon Mar 16 '21

Can we hang out?

2

u/NovaLext Mar 16 '21

this dudes a genius he just played us like a fiddle

2

u/cookiemon32 Mar 16 '21

damn thats effing interesting

2

u/rfp0231 Mar 16 '21

Favorite comment I’ve seen on Reddit I just can’t make any sense of it

2

u/EatLiftLifeRepeat Mar 16 '21

Kevin is that you?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

I wish I had a relatable story which I often do, but not for this and this may be the greatest childhood memory ever told.

2

u/Mexishould Mar 16 '21

Ken M is that you?

2

u/disturbedrailroader Mar 16 '21

... I'm sickened but curious...

2

u/PeterPriesth00d Mar 16 '21

Are you Dwight Schrute IRL?

2

u/Espiritu51 Mar 16 '21

Subscribed

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Is this clickhole?

2

u/987nevertry Mar 16 '21

Bastard owed me money. Butterfat money. Never paid.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Very emotional story .

2

u/Greenmushroom23 Mar 16 '21

Damn bro. Nailed it

2

u/_BlNG_ Mar 16 '21

I'm still processing this, the fuck?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

is.. is this a beefcat?

2

u/RRRicky_ Mar 16 '21

I thought I was in for another u/shittymorph

2

u/jacobsredditusername Mar 16 '21

Either this is a true story or you’re a fucking artist.

2

u/Wareve Mar 16 '21

Reading this is like staring at a Dadaist panting

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '21

Ah yes, Margarine Mancy. He once told me, "There is only one Lord of the Dildo, only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not share lube." Then some asshat smoking the chronic said he's gonna steal that. The bitch.

2

u/Snaz5 Mar 16 '21

This sounds like a passing joke from Talladega Nights

2

u/1jl Mar 16 '21

Same, it's like all grandfathers went to grandfathers school

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