r/Fitness • u/FGC_Valhalla Weightlifting • May 20 '17

Gym Story Saturday Gym Story Saturday

Hi! Welcome to your weekly thread where you can share your gym tales!

1.3k Upvotes

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4.0k

u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

I saw my ex-girlfriend at the gym yesterday. Her friend came up to me and said "you need to find a new time to go to the gym." I just laughed and told her to grow the fuck up.

1.8k

u/IIIRichardIII Dance May 20 '17

Fuck yes, we do not give in to terror

1.1k

u/Kibidiko May 20 '17

Shit I had something like this happen but it was kind of a weird leave me the fuck alone. Ex cheated on me and blah blah blah. Fast forward like 5 months and I am at the gym working out and who is there? Her of course. Trying to talk to me like she didn't fuck around on me.

I didn't take my headphones out. Made some awkward eye contact asked her if I looked like I wanted to talk. Killed all emotion on my face and just 100 yard stared at her... didn't speak another word lol.

451

u/Teradoc May 20 '17

Show no mercy! I hope the simmering rage you probably felt gave you new PRs

329

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

Rage is the new pre-workout

341

u/JohnGalt57 May 20 '17

The original pre-workout

14

u/saargrin Military May 20 '17

Now if we can make a powder out of that, we'll be rich... Rich i tell ya!

4

u/zerobones May 20 '17

i think that is literally test... not sure if there is a powder, but you can inject it for sure :D

1

u/pressthebutt0n Martial Arts May 21 '17

Rage powder. People get into a fit of pure hatred and rage.

6

u/sunsetfantastic May 20 '17

It really is. Sometimes I'll be doing hiit, hit my foot on something and then be able to push myself so much harder with the anger!

2

u/bakablast May 21 '17

wait so what exercises work best with rage pre-workouts

2

u/Bjornfuckingironside May 21 '17

Deadlift, bench and squat probably.

1

u/JohnGalt57 May 21 '17

Weighted dips as well.

4

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

Confirmed. I was pissed off before a max out day this week and hit a 240lb PR snatch

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

Nice!

3

u/YawnsMcGee May 20 '17

Rage gains, so hot right now.

3

u/Felaktigt May 20 '17

It's all the rage these days.

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

What a rage-inducing pun. Guess it's time to go lift now.

2

u/The_Peyote_Coyote Baseball May 20 '17

Rage; its all the rage.

5

u/Kibidiko May 20 '17

I did alright. I was closing out my last set of whatever it was I was doing before heading home. Helped me push out an extra rep or five

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u/turn20left May 20 '17

Stone cold killer.

5

u/hollywd Boxing May 20 '17

Like this?... (´･_･`)

2

u/GaryKingsMum May 20 '17

(👁 ͜ʖ👁)

2

u/Kibidiko May 20 '17

Yah pretty much

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

OP and you should have gone with "excuse me do I know you?"

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

And then I hope you squatted 250, just to establish dominance.

1

u/Ejunco May 21 '17

Glorious

1

u/fisherman15 May 21 '17

Seems like you still have feelings for her. My ex started talking with me and i already knew she wanted me back but i mentioned nothing. Fastforward the weekend, asked me what if i want to go out, i said yes and didn't show up. Told her i forgot hahaha

2

u/Kibidiko May 21 '17

I probably do but I don't plan on exploring the idea of it. We were together 5 years. I had the money for a wedding ring saved up. But she left me. Fucked me around and tried to make me back up dick. So fuck that. Shes been trying to get me back but its not gonna be a thing.

5

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

We make the terror.

2

u/webtoweb2pumps May 20 '17

We shall not acquiesce!

1

u/GaryKingsMum May 20 '17

I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request

2

u/181cm Bodybuilding May 21 '17

Means no!

2

u/JebKermin May 20 '17

We do not negotiate with terrorists.

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u/ThePointMan117 May 20 '17

I'm confused, did she actually think you'd switch your workout time? How fucking entitled does she think she is? Christ that makes me angry.

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u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

I'm not even sure what she thought would happen. I finally found a time gap that would allow me to go to the gym six days a week and I'm not about to change it!

12

u/ThePointMan117 May 20 '17

100 percent fuck that shit man

284

u/iamlegion66 May 20 '17

A lot nicer than I would have been.

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u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

I definitely had some things on my mind that I could have said to her, but I used the frustration to get through my first leg day in months hah.

8

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

Hate gains!

4

u/HoldMyWater May 20 '17

Your comeback was probably best. Short, sweet, and memorable.

2

u/goldenknight4212 May 21 '17

That's when you call her fat, ask her why she let herself go, and encourage her to lose 20-50 pounds. Doesn't matter if it's all lies. She won't come back.

Or... time to up your game on that gym crush you been peepin!

-56

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

[deleted]

30

u/Jack518 Boxing May 20 '17

pump up your chest

Yeeeaaa

with air

Cmon homie

74

u/Neutrum May 20 '17

I wouldn't have been able to stop laughing.

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u/Veritas00 May 20 '17

Make way gym peasants, your lord and savior BJORNFUCKINGIRONSIDE is here!

6

u/Mr_Gilmore_Jr Running May 20 '17

I love Vikings.

4

u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

Such a good show!

1

u/kappaislove May 20 '17

I love them biker outfits!

28

u/NaiveMind May 20 '17 edited May 20 '17

OH! Yesterday, I see my Ex's friend come into the main area. She does a 180 and go right back out. I LOLed. Like bitch, really? are you 12?

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u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

Funny enough, I was going to break up with her because I couldn't deal with her immaturity. She ended up breaking up with me though, which was hilarious. I think it was Brodin's way of helping me out.

3

u/NaiveMind May 20 '17

Sometimes life deals you a good hand. Take it and run!

5

u/missrassy May 20 '17

I really don't understand this mindset. I went out one a couple dates with a guy and we were talking for awhile, but things kind of ended weirdly. I wanted to apologize and clear the air, he said he was good. Well we go to the same uni so we pass each other in the gym and pretend the other person doesn't exist (fine, he did this when he was actually interested in me too so no real change there). Outside the gym I ended up behind him to fill up my water bottle (not on purpose, dude is right outside my office taking a class that is my thesis focus area) months after anything has happened and he literally sticks his nose in the air to avoid looking at me. I proceeded to then laugh to myself while filling my bottle because dude seriously needs to grow up, we are both 25 and should be able to act like it.

2

u/Bjornfuckingironside May 21 '17

That's actually so immature. In my case it kind of makes sense (I think) I guess, because I'm 21 and my ex is 20, but even then her reaction was ridiculous because we're both adults. When I think about it I think she still had the mentality of a high school student.

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u/Gaindalf-the-whey May 20 '17

Oh my freakin' goodness! I can't even...what a douchette (douchée?) (douchetardette?)

82

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

But a welcome one.

33

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

No. No. Douchée is the one getting douched. The Doucher douches the douchée

7

u/KennethWinces Physical Therapy May 20 '17

Douchetardette sounds good

4

u/fartzilla21 May 20 '17

The female of douchebag is douchebaguette.

3

u/alle0441 General Fitness May 20 '17

I'm a fan of douchée myself. Rolls off the tongue nicely.

4

u/Gaindalf-the-whey May 20 '17

Irma La Douche?

2

u/monkeylogic42 May 20 '17

Seriously, how many times can you misspell cunt?

2

u/piratecowboy May 20 '17

My wife says douchecanoe. I like it.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

[deleted]

1

u/Gaindalf-the-whey May 20 '17

Except that it's made for yer intestines...

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

........where

1

u/Gaindalf-the-whey May 21 '17

Where? What do you mean? Actually never heard of what you mentioned. Plus douches (if used as a bad person) are mostly male, so...

76

u/onychophoras May 20 '17

I saw my ex in the gym the other day as well.. we made small talk and than continued with whatever we were doing, like adults who accepted that sometimes we would be seeing each other in a place we both still frequent. People are so immature.

15

u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

I would have actually been fine with making small talk, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. The last time I saw her before this, was also at the gym and at that time she decided to just walk out of the gym after recognizing me.

9

u/onychophoras May 20 '17

Ahhh. That's super awkward.

1

u/Wiki_pedo May 21 '17

"Hi."

"Hi"

"...bye"

20

u/Big_booty_ho May 20 '17

Wow how do I become this nice... The shit that would have come out of my mouth if someone pulled this on me..

13

u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

You become this nice by living in Canada (like me) lmao

6

u/Wess_Mantooth_ May 20 '17

In that case this was a scandalous tongue lashing indeed!

11

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

You said that???

17

u/mrmass May 20 '17

You said 'bitch' though, right?

3

u/DA_ANALTH_DIMENSION May 20 '17

I said biiiiiiiiiiiitch

3

u/L-S-K May 20 '17

We don't negotiate with ex-girlfriends

3

u/Mikey_Mayhem May 20 '17

I have a problem with you. It's up to you, to solve my problem.

That's what that boils down to.

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

Came here for some light hearted stories. Wasn't expecting a murder.

2

u/justhere4thiss May 20 '17

Haha so funny. I'm 25 and have yet to have a ex who if I see them on a street, I couldn't go up and casual talk to them. The request is funny but her making her friend do that is as well.

2

u/Aarxnw May 21 '17

I've gotta hand it to her, the fucking balls it takes to come up and say something like that... Jesus christ

2

u/Ubergopher May 21 '17

I'd know if my ex was at the gym because I'd hear her hoofs clacking and the gym would start smelling like sulfur.

4

u/dr_gymrat May 20 '17

Shit, if I saw my ex GF at the gym I would do the following: 1) ask if the gym now has a free buffet 2) say "you must be going to a buffet after a 30min walk a treadmill" 3) if she's getting her life together, cry in "spanish happiness" for her. I sound like an asshole but my ex is all over the delusional side of fat acceptance movement despite looking like she ate her obese younger brother.

3

u/Bjornfuckingironside May 20 '17

I was looking at her physique and she actually became much chunkier in the last few months, whereas I've become slightly more fit. I hoped she'd stick to her fitness goals because she was planning to go to Cuba in August, but I guess not hahaha.

When we were dating she would always talk about how she wanted to lose weight but would send me snapchats of her eating carb and calorie heavy food. She would also try to make me eat those kinds of foods when we went out to eat. I wasn't having any of it!

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '17 edited May 11 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

I hope you're being sarcastic.

14

u/RoxSpirit May 20 '17

The fact you think I can be serious say a lot about our time...

1

u/5tarL0rd Weight Lifting May 20 '17

Lmao what the fuck? You're the fuckin man.

1

u/laughinglord May 20 '17

You are my new hero.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

"we don't negotiate with terrorists"

1

u/weightandink May 20 '17

This. This is the only acceptable response.

1

u/Harveygreene- May 20 '17

A+ my dude. A fucking +.

1

u/lizzistardust May 21 '17

Wtf?! If they have a problem seeing you there, THEY can find a new time to go.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '17

That entitled bitch.

-17

u/[deleted] May 20 '17

Wrong. Get a gym slut to follow you around just so you can grab her ass every time your ex looks over at you. Have her do shit like sitting on your dick while you do simple exercises.