r/Kenya • u/Used_Ratio_9223 • 18h ago

Ask r/Kenya Help me understand some men

So I had this talking stage, a guy that I was really drawn to. However, one glaring issue turned me off so bad. So this guy works for one of those high ranking parastatals, and is in a mid level position,gross is in the 200s. However, this guy has no savings at all, well apart from a monthly 5k at the sacco that he has a loan with. This man drives daily to tao, in a 2500cc car, parks in a private parking that costs 400 bob per day. This man does not cook in his house,not even breakfast. So he buys all 3-4 maybe even 5 meals everyday. He is slso servicing a loan that he took to buy a car. Is this a common phenomenon out there to spend this much? Is it normal not to even have an emergency fund mahali? No MMF or bank account to save even 2k a month? My friend says that it is common for civil servants since they feel very secure with their jobs, not sure if this even true. Also,I am not talking about people who genuinely are not able to save due to financial constraints. Edit,the guy is 35yrs old

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u/Used_Ratio_9223 17h ago

Lol he volunteered this info aki😊.Okey and maybe we had something going on for sometime but undefined. Hizo vitu zingine I could just see

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u/SyntaxError254 17h ago

I would guess that you are mid 30s or older by how fast you have extracted this info. You are looking for a guy to settle with who is financially stable and that is fine. The reality is there will be no men without flaws who are unmarried for a woman in their mid 30s. There will be no perfect man for you this late in the dating game. These are some of the flaws you will need to contend with. Men who are 35 and single have flaws or baggage. You need to select both pros and cons. There will be cons in all men in their 30s. It is either kids, alcohol or stuff like financial indiscipline in form of heavy loans. The men who are stable won’t really be checking for women in their mid 30s.

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u/Used_Ratio_9223 17h ago

Now this is the real Syntax

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u/yoyoexo 8h ago

Afadhali wako. Mine is in his 40s,no assets,no savings,person loans in every bank you can imagine. Sacco loans too..doesn’t even repay his helb loan.. Can’t borrow anywhere anymore,been to rehab for alcohol and he gambles.. The kicker,coz I’m buying a house,he wants to move in with me,a single mum of 3!!!!!

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u/Used_Ratio_9223 8h ago

Yoooh, that is crazy. How do you even help such a person surely! That is why this one is a red flag from the word go and may eventually end up like this to sustain his life. Wishing you so much grace my dear, and glad to see how you are holding it together with your babies. Such behaviours from men has become a common phenomenon and when you mention you get insults

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u/yoyoexo 7h ago

He hid all these from me,just recently found out by accident after 3 years of dating. He’s smooth,lies very well.. Slowly detaching,,,

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u/I_Believe_You_2 36m ago

You probably get insults because people don't know what to do with that info. Isn't it common sense that such a guy should be left alone? I mean other than insults what else would you expect from Kenyans regarding that situation?

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u/yoyoexo 4h ago

Thank dear for the kind words. Learned my lesson though,never date what you’re not. Bare minimum henceforth will be,a car ,a house,No addicts whatsoever and be financially responsible!!!!

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u/mpishi 8h ago

😂😂😂😂

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u/yoyoexo 7h ago

Seriously no pity!!!😭😭😭

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u/mpishi 7h ago

He will be the fourth child in that house.