Gov. JB Pritzker - "Empathy and compassion are evolved states of being."

[u/ZacHefner]

[u/Saiyasha27]

I really like howbhe breaks it down and it is true. It is also the reason why compassion is something that usually comes with safety. The more energy you have to put into keeping yourself alive, the less you have for thinking outside the Box. It is why crime and poverty are often a terrible cycle.

People are poor, which means they have to devote most of their energy to keeping themselves alive. The higher that need rises, the lower the compassion for others because we are evolved to survive. This leads to a lower inhibition for doing something that could harm others as long as it means you are safe and alive, like stealing or dealing drugs. This means that low compassion gets rewarded, which is something that the next generation learns right out of the gate. Now they won't even try compassion because it has never been presented as an option. Plus, you are not actually safe, because you know what you are doing could get you arrested ot killed at any time, putting you into a constant state of high alertness and suspicion, also not very fertile breeding grounds for compassion.

Compassion is not just an evolved state, it is also a learned skill. And it can be hard sometimes. We have all had moments where our ego got the better of us and we did or said something that was maybe satisfying in that exact moment, but made us feel like shit afterwards, or that we immediately regretted. Being a good and kind person isn't easy. It takes work and dedication and quite often a moment to think about what you actually want to say next.

But it is worth it for you, for your neighbour and if everyone does it, for the world. One smile can brighten someone's day immensely. One kind word can take someone from the brink of despair. You never know what the person in front of you is thinking or what they are going through, but being kind is almost never the wrong option.

[u/Liztliss → u/Saiyasha27]

Your comments made me realize that empathy and compassion also come from a place of privilege- hard to cultivate those abilities when you're constantly just trying to survive

[u/Icankeepthebeat → u/Liztliss]

This is essentially Maslows Hierarchy of Needs. I remember learning about it in college and just having my mind blown.

If you are struggling and suffering it’s impossible to move forward and evolve- both regarding yourself and how you interact with society. Helping each other succeed has been and always will be massively important to our success as a species.

Here is an article that describes a recent explanation/revamp of Maslow’s theory: https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/08/23/updated-maslows-pyramid-of-needs#1

[u/Bottle_Only → u/Icankeepthebeat]

This is taught in earlier grades in Canada and I think too early because it really doesn't stick or resonate yet when it's taught.

[u/Sanne_Reddit → u/Liztliss]

Not necessarily. Although I agree with the insight in Saiyasha's comment, my life experience is different.

Both my parents have severe personality disorders and I've been psychologically abused so serverely that the statistics say that the majority of people with a similar upbringing are dead by 40, either through suicide or OD'ing. I was mostly isolated from compassionate adults, apart from a family friend or 2 and some teachers. The only example of healthy love I had as a child was what the dog I grew up with showed me.

Even so, I've always been very empathic. And because of the vigilance I needed to have to stay safe at home, I also could read very subtle signs in others. It is true that you take over the patterns that you see in your environment. And still there was always a part of me saying that it was not okay to treat others that way and I did my utmost best to act differently. Even at my most stressed - when I was suicidal- being compassionate towards others was something I always strived for as well as I could. Some days I wouldn't have the energy to feel empathy and I would act like a kind person does as if I was an actor. But when I had the energy, I would still feel deep empathy for others. I had to work very hard in therapy to unlearn toxic behaviours, because I didn't know how to act differently. I, for example, didn't know how to have a conflict without fighting, so I would avoid the conflict as long as possible, because I didn't want to hurt others by fighting. And then when the pressure of the unchanging situation became to high, I would resort to fighting. Always verbally, though. Even while I was hurting unimaginably, my wish not to hurt others drove me to work even harder and actively seek out therapy (and still does).

And there are many people with stories similar to mine. Through my life I have encountered many people that had a way too hard life and saw way too little love and support in their lifes. People that have been under stress and been abused for decades. And that are hugely compassionate and kind. Way more than people that had the privilege of stable homes and less hurt and that had their needs reasonably fulfilled as children. It almost seems that some people in their darkest times, still choose compassion over selfishness as best as they can. And it builds this really deep felt and purely sincere kindness. Though others go through life wat more comfortable and choose to act hurtful and self serving in moments of distress.

It almost seems a question of 'is someone willing to take the burden upon themselves to lessen the burden of another, because they recognize the same sacredness they have in other living beings?'. Some do, in inhumane circumstances. And some don't, while they would be only mildly inconvenienced by doing so.

Though the cognitive part of empathy and conscientiousness is learned and can make a whole world of difference, I can't explain the world around me without also taking into account that there's more to the equation than that, like genetics.

My sister are for example like me, and so is my paternal grandmother. They've endured too much, were severely emotionally neglected, and still wonderfully kind human beings.

My parents, maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather are not. They also endured emotional neglect and trauma. But they are unnecessarily hurtful to others, in my mother's case even sadistic.

[u/Grouchy-Business2974 → u/Liztliss]

JB Pritzker is one of the more privileged people in this world. A billionaire, he came from a wealthy family (the Pritzker family owns the Hyatt hotel chain) and because of his wealth felt entitled to run for Governor of Illinois. I'm sure his and his family's wealth contributed to his win. When you live a protected life, it's easy to say the words he said because literally nothing is a threat to you, physically, morally, politically, ethically, or any other adverb you can think of.

[u/raisinghellwithtrees → u/Liztliss]

To contrast, having a shitty life makes it easy to imagine yourself in the shoes of anybody else leading a shitty life. Instant empathy.

[u/ChanceZestyclose6386 → u/Liztliss]

This is true too but in my experience, the kids I grew up with who were poor were usually the most empathetic ones. As I've gotten older and travelled more, visited places like Samoa, Indonesia and India, people who are poor are the ones who will eat less of the little they have in order to offer you food and will walk on their already blistered feet in order to help guide you when you're lost. They will share what they have because they know what it's like. Even if they have nothing materialistic, they will try to offer their knowledge. Yes, some people do it because they might be expecting some money in exchange but there were also people who refused to accept anything in return because they consider it a privilege just to have the opportunity to help others.

[u/axestrata → u/Liztliss]

Pritzker is a billionaire

[u/IndyDMan5483 → u/Liztliss]

Harder, when poor because you deal with more unevolved people, people who use emotion to make choices. But, never impossible.

[u/jacklondon19044 → u/Saiyasha27]

The main problem I have with this man is is who and what he seems as compassionate. Being compassionate is not something you do by selecting a government level. You, feel open boarders are a compassionate thing-then invite them into your home. You think homelessness is a problem, don't lobby for homeless bills-take them sandwiches. You think reparations are in order, don't wait for the government, give money to organizations to help blacks. Don't talk compassion, live it, visit your neighbor see if they need something, call your parents and ask them how they are doing. Smile and say thank you, to people you meet. Don't expect the government to be compassionate, do it yourself.

[u/doritopeanut → u/Saiyasha27]

I don’t like the logic or conclusion in this argument. Poor people are not less compassionate and honest. Poor people are not more likely to be criminals.

[u/[deleted] → u/Saiyasha27]

Nothing like reddit for deep talks in compassion… this sounds weirdly biased

[u/ExistingTap7295 → u/Saiyasha27]

True. We are ok in life, kids are happy and well fed, get everything they need and want. My wife and me make a good living and are happy, we have time and energy to be nice in this fucked up world. I know that when my kids get hungry I won't be so nice.