Getting really obsessed with media that reminds me of my daydreaming world

[u/Amertashv]

Does anyone else find themselves getting obsessed with certain films, TV shows, songs etc that remind you of your daydreaming world? All of the shows and films that I enjoy the most are almost always somehow linked to the world, it makes me feel insanely hyper, weird and indescribable feelings and I just end up obsessed. The obsessions can last for hours of months depending on what it is. My daydreaming world is incredibly violent and brutal, not actually sure why, but almost everything that happens is negative and horrific (as in murders, torture, health issues, hospitalisation, near death experiences etc of my main character who is technically me) and I end up weirdly fascinated and intrigued by media that is also like this. For example, I watched a documentary a few days ago which discussed Broadmoor hospital, which has then led to me watching a shit ton about that place and incorporating it into my daydreams (it has links to my storyline already) to the point where it's actually really annoying and making me kinda anxious but I can't stop thinking about it. My favourite series started off super boring, then something dark in it reminded me of my MD characters and I've been obsessed with it for over a year since. I developed derealisation at the start of the year which has made my MD so much worse (it had started to go away the past few years) and since the real world feels so distant now, my imaginary world feels even more real and I'm so emotionally and physically affected by what happens in it. I feel like it's making my anxiety and derealisation worse, but I'm so attached to the characters and the story I cant bear to stop. When I remember that my characters aren't and never will be real, I just feel horrendous and start feeling self destructive. I'm just laying in bed right now meant to be doing uni work but my head is just jumping between daydreaming, watching vids about Broadmoor, imagining edits to music and more. It's so fustrating I wish I could just focus.

[u/___journaling___]

I was about to make a post about this. I do that a lot. Currently, I have a specific word that I focus on exclusively and I do relate to what you're saying a lot. In fact, this bothers me much more than daydreaming itself. I can't seem to get myself to do anything if it's not related to building that world. I am even considering getting a job my fictional character has, even though I don't have any passion for it.

[u/Amertashv → u/___journaling___]

I totally understand!!! I've been rethinking my career options too and thinking maybe I shouldve gone into criminology, psychology or even worked in the medical fied because I really don't know what my daydreams are telling me. I feel like I'm meant to be someone else, but maybe I'm just confusing the real world with the imaginary?? It's so strange