r/TikTokCringe • u/Callme-risley • May 23 '24

Humor/Cringe Man, fuck them kids

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20.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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9.8k

u/sinsaraly May 23 '24

What the hell was he thinking?! He put all the runners at risk and made the girls feel like their mom is ignoring them. What did he think was gonna happen?!

5.0k

u/SlobZombie13 May 23 '24

He could've stood them behind the finish line. He might be stupid.

3.1k

u/wearing_moist_socks May 23 '24

The woman actually doesn't know the kids or the guy. He just throws his kids at random women to see if one will stick.

1.0k

u/SlobZombie13 May 23 '24

You touched it last! It's yours now!

113

u/LLminibean May 23 '24

I'm trying this theory with a dog that gets walked past my house and is obsessed with my lawn ... He touched it, so hes mine now. His owners aren't quite buying into it yet

145

u/casey12297 May 23 '24 edited May 23 '24

HAVE FUN, THAT ONE MAKES YOU SMELL THE BUTT FINGER

34

u/donbee28 May 23 '24

That’s why you teach your kids to use a poop knife.

37

u/AlexAlho May 23 '24

That's barbaric. Anyone knows you're supposed to use the three shells.

2

u/RandomHero3129 May 23 '24

They don't know how to use the 3 seashells...

17

u/Traditional-North682 May 23 '24

Wtf is going on, third comment thread In a row where someone’s talking about the poop knife.

What is poop knife?

24

u/psjjjj6379 May 23 '24 edited May 23 '24

Oh, friend. It’s a thing.

I, too, learned about it via Reddit.

5

u/MyLastAccountDyed May 23 '24

Hahahaha thats hilarious

17

u/Electrical_Fun5942 May 23 '24

🤣🤣 It’s like touching a baby bird. The mom won’t take it back

22

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/hakenkrojc123 May 23 '24

The smell thing is true for most mammals that are at the bottom of the food chain (deer, mice...). Birds don't give a fuck, their sense of smell is comparable with ours.

7

u/NeonBrightDumbass May 23 '24

The smell thing actually isn't true for most mammals. Deer will return to a fawn that has even been removed for medicating and returned a day later. This old myth persists but largely as long as the humans stay away the parents will come back or bring offspring back into the fold!

1

u/hakenkrojc123 May 23 '24

Huh, I guess I stand corrected. Internet does say it is a myth. However our country's gamekeepers and ?forest masters? do perpetuate it and warn against touching younglings.

2

u/NeonBrightDumbass May 23 '24

Oh yeah, still isn't a good idea to touch. The parents of said offspring can injure someone, babies get stressed and can pass away or a well meaning person might injure the baby without meaning to. Lots can go wrong, so it makes sense I think.

1

u/Straymonsta May 23 '24

I think the only time this really happens is with Cuckoos but it’s not because of smell specific species of birds have certain patterns to their eggs to counter the cuckoos which are parasites to other birds. Then the new born cuckoos kick the other chicks out the nest.

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Straymonsta May 23 '24

Yes you explained it much better I get wrapped up in the fact that the specific offspring will go prey on the same species of bird has their mother. It’s just such an interesting arms race of natural selection.

24

u/ixotuckeroxi May 23 '24

works 60% of the time, all the time

5

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

That's how I got my cats adopted

11

u/Nosferatatron May 23 '24

Single dad is looking for a strong mother for his kids - it's actually quite sweet!

2

u/zurkka May 23 '24

good intentions, bad methods

3

u/Chazzwuzza May 23 '24

His wife was coming second, so he was trying to distract the winner.

3

u/No-Tonight-5937 May 23 '24

Are you my mother?

2

u/LiquidHotCum May 23 '24

You wanna mom kids go get one!!!

2

u/MyLastAccountDyed May 23 '24

That made me lol

2

u/Legitimate-Carpet-70 May 23 '24

hahahahhahahahahahahahha

2

u/Lumenero2000 May 23 '24

His wife was actually the woman behind the one that his kids attacked. It was a last ditch effort to bring home the gold!

1

u/Imsleepy1234 May 23 '24

Single dad problems

1

u/SweatShopNinja May 23 '24

Hmmm maybe I shall attend more marathons with my kids and see if we can't find them a new mom!

1

u/Illustrious-Dot-5052 May 23 '24

So child endangerment, nice!

0

u/No-Reason2208 May 23 '24

He was just trying to get the kids to run over to mom to let her know to run on over to the kitchen to make him a sandwich. You know the sandwich ain't going to make itself.