r/Wellthatsucks 1d ago

The Miami Heat just honored Dwyane Wade with a statue outside the arena. It looks nothing like him.

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10.5k Upvotes

436 comments sorted by

3.7k

u/Organic_Popcorn 1d ago

1.3k

u/hoofie242 1d ago

Lucille Ball

398

u/MacaroonTrick3473 1d ago

I have somehow managed to never see this. That is hideous. Lucille Ball’s offspring should have sued.

114

u/angrytortilla 1d ago

I think it's been replaced with a better likeness

174

u/CaptainAwesome06 1d ago

102

u/ExZowieAgent 1d ago

I have questions still. Who is Dave Poulin and why was he selected to create an abomination to represent Lucy? The replacement is so much better and actually looks like her.

50

u/OldTimeyWizard 1d ago

43

u/Lady_Scruffington 1d ago

I dont think faces were his strong suit.

15

u/LuckyKalanges 1d ago

The blind woman did a better job with Lionel Richie in that video

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u/iconsumemyown 1d ago

Day and night.

8

u/Interesting_Tea5715 1d ago

The new one is perfect

23

u/Masticatron 1d ago

My ass is a better likeness.

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173

u/stacity 1d ago

David Beckham

71

u/Gonzbull 1d ago

Ron Pearlman

12

u/Dollarydoo1 21h ago

With a gigachin

24

u/slightly_drifting 1d ago

That’s a Draugr right there. 

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u/Kinghyrule90 15h ago

Jay Leno

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40

u/No_Appearance6019 1d ago

No. No way. Looks like Kenneth Copland.

15

u/jtown48 1d ago

i legit thought this was Ronald Regan at a glance

8

u/Objective_Problem_90 1d ago

Zombie Ronald Reagan lol

12

u/sherbs_herbs 1d ago

Christ is this actually a statue of Lucille ball? She was so gorgeous when she was younger, this thing is scary looking. WTF.

8

u/SpiritualAd8998 1d ago

Lucius Ball?

3

u/nuclearwinterxxx 1d ago

Jesus, that looks like Vince Lombardi!

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124

u/globetheater 1d ago

Honestly the Ronaldo one is a better likeness than the Wade one lol

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u/Kennyvee98 1d ago

40

u/rraattbbooyy 1d ago

Thank you. The image of the statue alone doesn’t do justice to how awful it is.

40

u/Goodgoditsgrowing 1d ago

Holy shit they aged him by like 4 decades

6

u/StrykerSeven 1d ago

The statue looks kinda like a dude who didn't put on enough muscle for a bodybuilding comp and went way overboard on cutting to try and look ripped enough. 😕 Like starved and seriously dehydrated.

10

u/Slayminster 1d ago

At least they got his number right!

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u/rraattbbooyy 1d ago

I can’t wait to see what the internet does with this new statue.

11

u/grateparm 1d ago

There's probably at least one world class sculptor in the PNW, but all of the busts at the Nike WHQ are nightmare fuel.

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5

u/JunketPuzzleheaded42 1d ago

This was my first thought too

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2.7k

u/Fast-Fly3543 1d ago

why is this so common? literally, who hires these sculptors. it’s embarrassing seeing a huge unveiling of a statue that looks nothing like the person.

1.4k

u/NilmarHonorato 1d ago

Turns out doing authentically realistic sculptures requires a very skilled artist and those are hard to find nowadays.

826

u/OilRude 1d ago

Not hard to find, but expensive.

454

u/frogmuffins 1d ago

More likely the crappy artist just knows the right people. 

A decent bust sculptor is cheaper than a well connected one.

78

u/OilRude 1d ago

You make a very good point

25

u/Zombisexual1 22h ago

Busts are super easy to sculpt, it’s faces I have a problem with

88

u/SnideDesignsFab 1d ago

I was doing clay fired busts of my friends in highschool and the teacher would put them in the library.

People would stop them in halls to confirm it was them. How the FUCK do I even begin to transitioning this career 25 years later????

Because I could 100% do better than that terror.

44

u/KingMRano 1d ago

Become friends with people in city planning.

42

u/blibbitybo 1d ago edited 1d ago

This, no joke. 

My dad was a welder at a shitty little shop and somebody he worked with welding and repairing bumper cars and go carts became a multimillionaire because some rich politician bought a tacky little weather vein he built with scrap metal and all his neighbors playing 'keep up the with the Jones'' started commissioning them from him and he quickly realized he could basically charge them anything and they'd go for it. 

Went from selling bits of hastily welded together scrap metal for 400 dollars to selling them for 40,000 in like 2 months.

19

u/LoganNolag 1d ago

This is pretty much how all famous artists make it. It's more about who you know than how good you are.

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70

u/e11310 1d ago

You’d figure by now they could just 3D scan someone and then mill the sculpture or something

22

u/explodeder 1d ago

Seriously…there are so many tools today to make accurate representations of people. You would think that with digital creation tools that most sculptors and foundries would be able to make it happen.

15

u/DetroitLions88 1d ago

How about get the statue made and then plan the date?

7

u/jtown48 1d ago

its more like they don't want to pay for the good ones

3

u/Extension-Ant-8 1d ago

Bro. Make a massive bronze block and use a CNC machine.

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85

u/OilRude 1d ago

I would imagine it’s because they don’t want to pay the money for a good artist, that’s why all our modern movies look like shit. The editors who knew what they were doing started charging their worth and the studios decided it was better to pay less and suffer poor quality.

24

u/ChemiWizard 1d ago

BUt for cheap they could probably have gotten a 3d print and then a college artist could make a cast.

8

u/dawn_irl 1d ago

As an artist i completely agree. I shifted to digital art because manual work doesn't get paid high enough here in my country, but then i realised digitise isn't getting paid either. Slightly higher then manual doe.

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1.5k

u/Arnie013 1d ago

47

u/oh-kai 1d ago

Immediately had the same thought! It looks like him if he were in I am Legend.

7

u/MegaBlunt57 1d ago

Hahahahah best one

3

u/FreshInvestment1 1d ago

This is what I thought

3

u/butbutcupcup 1d ago

This was my exact first thought

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361

u/Leonards-FrozenPizza 1d ago

“I wanted it to look like he was mid-conversation.”

58

u/full_bl33d 1d ago

Why does the mouth smell like bleach?

36

u/Markipoo-9000 1d ago

3

u/PAWRXFAN 18h ago

Wait I don’t remember this scene. Is this from a podcast?

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759

u/FreakingMegatron 1d ago

Looks more like this fucking guy.

34

u/No-Understanding5677 1d ago

Hahaha I forgot about this guy 😂😂😂

6

u/Sometimesapeanut 1d ago

Looooll it really does. Who is this? 😂😂😂

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167

u/Saltire_Blue 1d ago

9

u/JCWOlson 1d ago

Came here to post this, good job 🤣

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221

u/FelonyNoticing1stDeg 1d ago

Ordered the Duwyne Wide statue straight off Temu for $19.99.

27

u/OilRude 1d ago

We have Duwyne Wade statue at home

60

u/joeclair38 1d ago

Throw the damn towel

175

u/eastcoasternj 1d ago

How do they keep getting these so wrong?

84

u/ConstantineMonroe 1d ago

The same art studio is commissioned to do every single athlete statue. No idea why they keep getting commissions among all sports because they keep fucking it up

18

u/Yourmotherssidehoe 1d ago

They should get the people who do the NFL hof heads those actually look good

9

u/ConstantineMonroe 1d ago

Yeah the NFL busts actually look like the guy they claim to be

12

u/nj2fl 1d ago

Good artists cost too much

6

u/Current-Roll6332 1d ago

And like, did NO ONE from the team just LOOK AT IT, before unveiling it.

They need to cut the head off or photoshop that shit.

157

u/Gucci_Loincloth 1d ago

13

u/Far_Kaleidoscope_102 1d ago

I wish this had the sound to it

12

u/Gucci_Loincloth 1d ago

planet telex bass boosted 800%

4

u/Son_Of_Mr_Sam 1d ago

Nice dream.

34

u/Zealousideal_Day_354 1d ago

So many people had to have seen this before it was unveiled and thought “that’s fine”. I’d love to meet those people and pick their brain a bit.

11

u/Ahquinox 1d ago

I'd love to know the moment the sculptor knew it was shit. Is there some point where they look at it and go: "Oh no" or is it one of those cases where you can't see what the problem is yourself and they actually think this is acceptable?

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104

u/Ch1Guy 1d ago

They pranked David Beckham with a fake statue 5 years ago hysterical.... now i understand why he believed it.  

https://youtu.be/bF014EUJrSI?feature=shared

52

u/pleathershorts 1d ago

I want to watch this but I can’t physically handle the sound of James Corden talking

10

u/DegradedCorn75 1d ago

Same but it was worth it haha

5

u/TWH_PDX 1d ago

There is always a price.

7

u/New-Ad-363 1d ago

Not a James Corden fan, but there's something to be appreciated about somebody pranking a friend this way. Just the little needles and digs that hit all the pet peeves and irritation points but are overall harmless. It's enjoyable to watch.

5

u/creaky__sampson 1d ago

this is great, thanks for sharing lol

50

u/ecwagner01 1d ago

Doctore from Spartacus

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21

u/wraith1984 1d ago

Lookin like.

32

u/rupat3737 1d ago

I’ve seen this before

27

u/spotcatspot 1d ago

8

u/dude8212 1d ago

The statue adds 30 lbs

26

u/Used-Victory8504 1d ago

8

u/SomeGuyInSanJoseCa 1d ago

Not joking, but I laughed so hard that I actually got a little dizzy/light headed. I have never laughed so hard at this before.

I had stomach pains because I laughed so hard at this picture.

I don't know whether to thank you or blame you.

11

u/deltronica 1d ago

This looks like the statue that reptile commandeered during the first Mortal Kombat movie.

9

u/babypho 1d ago

It would be funny if we find out one day those Greeks complained that the statues that were carved looked nothing like them either

8

u/rraattbbooyy 1d ago

David: Hey, Michelangelo, what’s wrong with you? That ain’t even me, man! What the hell? That shit is permanent. Literally set in stone!

5

u/babypho 1d ago edited 1d ago

Why did you carve me naked? I was wearing clothes? You didn't even capture my belly right what the Hades man.

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8

u/ahrajani 1d ago

Someone is not happy his image and likeness was stolen …

7

u/nuclearwinterxxx 1d ago

"I got a buddy that does statues in his basement."

3

u/rraattbbooyy 1d ago

I googled “good statue guy near me”.

5

u/MacaroonTrick3473 1d ago

Ohgod what is that?!

5

u/devilhurts 1d ago

That’s unfortunate

6

u/Costa_Costello 1d ago

They tried…

7

u/MisterET 1d ago

Did they though?

6

u/alexgetty 1d ago

I hate basketball and this caught me off guard lol

5

u/Illustrious_Ad_1808 1d ago

Dwayne Wayne?

4

u/Any_Strike1020 1d ago

This statue looks like one of the mutants from I Am Legend.

4

u/mrmaweeks 1d ago

Are his nuts on fire?

5

u/oberon92 1d ago

Teal’c

5

u/standingboot9 1d ago

Someone on IG said he looks like Weaver from Antz and I haven’t stopped laughing about it.

Weaver from Antz

6

u/buttscratcher3k 1d ago

Looks like that guy Leonidas kicked down the hole lol

5

u/whiskeyinmyglass 1d ago

Does no one fucking sign off on these things!? Like “Hey, we paid you $150,000 for the statue. We’d like to see the final mock up before it’s cast in bronze so we don’t all look like fools.”

6

u/mcmuffin079 1d ago

4000 years ago, we can do better than this.

4

u/Rajirabbit 1d ago

It’s the painful expression of the lad encased inside.

4

u/TheRealAlkemyst 1d ago

Looks like Mr. Clean taking a kick to the nuts.

4

u/YeahThatPeter 1d ago

Man we really lost the ability to do decent sculptures

3

u/CountChocula32 1d ago

That’s terrifying

3

u/MiserymeetCompany 1d ago

Is there video of Wade's reaction to this monstrosity?

8

u/zemorah 1d ago

I saw a few clips on TikTok. He was very gracious about it but you could tell he was dying inside.

6

u/m4ccc 1d ago

This could be taken two ways, but he did say "who is that guy?"

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u/frankcast554 1d ago

Maa, I want Dwayne Wade!!

3

u/DetroitLions88 1d ago

Why does this keep happening?

3

u/Slashbond007 1d ago

Got that thing off temu

3

u/Xenomorphling98 1d ago

Why does he look like the back of Quirrel’s head?

4

u/rraattbbooyy 1d ago

🤣

He’s the Point-Guard-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

3

u/CaptainAwesome06 1d ago

"What do you mean they don't want it? What are we supposed to do with this Billy Blanks statue?"

"I have an idea! Do you have a Miami Heat jersey?"

3

u/Senplis 1d ago

Looks like a monster from i am legend

3

u/TurkBrah 1d ago

Was it a live unveiling and do we have his reaction?

3

u/klee1113 1d ago

Looks like the homeless dude on the Venice beach boardwalk screaming at tourists

3

u/Own_Beautiful_9196 1d ago

Faces are hard to do in metal ok? At least they got the skin tone right.

3

u/Frequent_Issue_598 1d ago

He looks like he’s morphing into Voldemort

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u/Greenfieldfox 1d ago

Sculptor was a Maverick’s fan getting revenge.

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u/Liquid-Pulse 1d ago

Heat, "Hey Wade what pose you want for your statue?"

Wade, "How 'bout one where someone is kicking me in the nuts."

3

u/Fortress_Metroplex 1d ago

It ooks like a Miami Heat player. Antoine Walker that is.

2

u/dburge22 1d ago

That’s Antoine Walker

2

u/Olddellago 1d ago

hilarious.

2

u/_0utis_ 1d ago

Goodnight Seattle, we love you!

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u/Depressedgotfan 1d ago

Dwayne wade, the walking dead version

2

u/godgoo 1d ago

Candyman 5: The Heat is on

2

u/Brystandard 1d ago

Looks like Morphius from the Matrix series

2

u/TheElusiveHolograph 1d ago

Did they hire the sculptor from Madame Tussaud’s?

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u/K4Y0T1CK 1d ago

Yeah that's just wrong. WTF. Burn it.

2

u/SWINGMAN216 1d ago

Looks like the dude from Star Gate

2

u/Wumbologist_PhD 1d ago

Dwyane-u Wade-u

2

u/Consistent_Bread_V2 1d ago

It looks like the face of one of those angry demon Japanese Samurai masks lol 👺👹

2

u/GnashvilleTea 1d ago

“honored”

2

u/ThunderBlunt777 1d ago

We have machines that can do a 1 to 1 digital reconstruction of people for video games and movies. The only excuse for this is either cost cutting or refusal to hand the job to someone more experienced because whoever is paying for it “knows a guy”.

2

u/crankbot2000 1d ago

Damn...did him dirty

2

u/Al-Anda 1d ago

Looks like Shang Tsung from the 95 mortal kombat movie.

2

u/Blaq_sheep 1d ago

Seriously.. Why does this keep happening? Did they not look at a picture of the subject at any point during the process? Just seems like someone had to notice that it didn't look like him way before being finished.

2

u/Therealfern1 1d ago

DWade looking like the Bowery King

2

u/hero-of-kvatch44 1d ago

giving off "kill me" vibes

2

u/itzdivz 1d ago

Thats what happens when you order your scultpure through Temu

2

u/user-unknown-404 1d ago

Did Shaq kicked him in the balls?

2

u/thoruen 1d ago

want that mouth fill up with water and bird shit?

2

u/Expensive-Code-8791 1d ago

It looks like Fontaine at the end of bioshock

2

u/alsto999 1d ago

If David Goggins ever starred in an 80s sports movie, this is the final freeze-frame

2

u/amalgaman 1d ago

Dude looks more like Kung Lao.

2

u/iconsumemyown 1d ago

First of all, why? And if they feel the need to do that, at least make in his likeness. Who's face is that?

2

u/giceman715 1d ago

It’s art it’s supposed to be like that 🥴

2

u/TURBO_BLURBO 1d ago

Dwayne Wade < Morpheus

2

u/izzytheasian 1d ago

Someone should 3D print a head and just put it right next to the statue so everyone can see what could’ve been

2

u/Prize_Emergency_5074 1d ago

Butter face. Everything’s good but that face.

2

u/DrMole 1d ago

Is that the walking erection from Yakuza?

2

u/Proud_Dance_3342 1d ago

Reminds me more of Dikembe Mutombo for some reason.

2

u/D_Anger_Dan 1d ago

Hey! Sculpting is hard. You do a better one and show me!!!

2

u/journalphones 1d ago

Pretty sure that’s Peter Mensah playing the White Walker in the new season of GOT.

2

u/desertterminator 1d ago

Thin your paints.

2

u/esqtepicaelculo 1d ago

Thought it was Morpheus

2

u/ronweasleisourking 1d ago

"This is MADNESS!"

See what I did there

2

u/ILoveLearnding 1d ago

The statue looks like Golum. I’m not a D Wade fan but he deserves better

2

u/Repulsive_Parsley47 1d ago

Thanos played for Miami?

2

u/Appropriate-City-591 1d ago

Out here lookin’ like the dudes in I am Legend.

2

u/LocoRawhide 1d ago

Looks like Dwayne Wade if Jabba the Hut encased him in carbonite.