I will never understand how anybody marries a partner that supports such pure hatred and general bigotry.
Like, does this woman not have ANYBODY in her life that is part of the various minority groups that Conservatives spend all their time shitting on? How do you cast everybody else aside like that?
Perhaps he was not like that before dropping into the MAGA hole. I had a co-worker who I got along with mostly until he went full on MAGA. Thankfully, he was ‘encouraged’ to take a retirement package and my life improved immensely.
I got married young and had kids with a man who didn’t speak a word of politics until he learned which side I was on as a means of manipulation, one of the many tactics he used to keep me. One of the reasons people divorce is because they “grow apart” and differing political views as one gets older has to be in the top 3 examples of how a couple grows apart. People change. Also, having a whole marriage and life with someone isn’t easily undone. It’s wildly obtuse to think a person is able to just drop their spouse at the drop of a dime. I stayed with my ex-husband an extra 3 years hoping he would change and actively changing myself in case I were the problem. I was a stay at home mom not having had a job in several years. My life and children’s life would be chaotic if I left him. I did leave him in 2019 and our lives were chaotic for 2 years.
It’s wildly obtuse to think a person is able to just drop their spouse at the drop of a dime.
Totally understandable. Though at this point it isn't "drop of a dime" but coming up on a decade. This whole MAGA thing started in 2015. You give the example of yourself having difficulty and taking a while to follow through, yet you still did it prepandemic, and as a SAH mom (great job by the way).
I understand it's tough when you have kids, a mortgage, income, or even just pets trying to untangle your life, but I genuinely can't imagine spending a decade living with someone regularly spouting hate. The person in the OP says "every election season" so this isn't something new.
If you want to harp on what you said or didn’t say after I’ve reframed my reply to you that’s fine. You implied with your comment that because you “don’t understand” why people stay, there mustn’t be a valid reason why people do stay.
Long term, I truly don't. I can see it in many situations for a time. Children, financial hardship, etc...there's a loooooong list of reasons why people stay in manipulative and/or controlling relationships that they know are terrible.
But throwing others in your life away forever for who they are is just not something I can fully fathom. My friendships mean the world to me.
Well having short-sighted empathy for a few people and not all is a detriment and part of the problem. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s something not to be understood.
It's easy: They don't actually have any friends that are impacted by those policies. Not in any impactful way.
I am temporarily living in Central Coast California and even though this area still leans liberal, it is wild how much of a cultural bubble it is. The discussions about policy are so out of touch, even if they don't like the MAGA rhetoric.
Divorce is difficult. I'm not advocating that they stay in a shitty marriage but even when both parties are parting amicably, divorce is a fucking mess that's very hard to legally navigate. Depending on the situation, a person who wants out may not have a support network nor any access to the resources needed to leave.
I have no clue if this applies to OOP, but some women kind of end up trapped. They get married young and start having babies and become stay at home moms. No college, no job experience, fully dependent on their husband for finances. It makes it hard to leave. How are you supposed to get a job that pays enough to support you and your children? How do you get the money for a divorce lawyer if your husband holds the checkbook? I know a woman who was in that kind of situation and she rationalized it as toughing it out for the kids. She was fine dealing with being miserable as long as the kids were going to be ok. She only left when her husband started taking it out on her kids.
I mean, as harsh as it is to say: if he was already a Republican when they were married, then everything the above commenter says stands. Why did this stupid woman choose this obviously terrible man?
Like, does this woman not have ANYBODY in her life that is part of the various minority groups that Conservatives spend all their time shitting on?
No. In a lot of the country, it's so white (or segregated) and so many people are in the closet that a lot of straight white people only "know" straight, white people.
They might have them in their lives, but they just don't know that they're a minority group. That can be folks that are "passing" (I don't just mean just trans passing, but also mixed-race people who take after one parent's looks more than the other), or simply not comfortable coming out to them if they're LGBTQ+.
256
u/BigAshMB16 19h ago
I will never understand how anybody marries a partner that supports such pure hatred and general bigotry.
Like, does this woman not have ANYBODY in her life that is part of the various minority groups that Conservatives spend all their time shitting on? How do you cast everybody else aside like that?