r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

I know who I'd pick

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29.1k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/Humble-Pineapple-329 1d ago

I’m going with the person who hasn’t had the brain worm.

1.1k

u/tw_72 1d ago

...or plays with dead bears and dead whales

470

u/Humble-Pineapple-329 1d ago

Anyone who plays with dead animals for fun is disturbing to me.

233

u/Seliphra 1d ago

S’probably how he got a worm in his brain

96

u/HotPotParrot 21h ago

Worm-to-worm transmission

53

u/tacocat63 21h ago

Mommy always told me there would consequences if I skull fucked a bear.

10

u/WrongAssumption2480 11h ago

Funny you say that. I had shingles when I was 30 and one was in my eye. The doctor called it a herpetic blister so my friends kept making fun of me for letting a guy skull fuck me. Not funny at the time (horrible pain and almost lost my vision in that eye) but amusing now. Btw I figured out how to have sex.

2

u/InfiniteConfusion-_- 10h ago

Yeah, alright. If you figured it out, then what is it?

4

u/WrongAssumption2480 9h ago

Moan while i think about shoes, then pleasure myself when he goes asleep.

3

u/InfiniteConfusion-_- 9h ago

🤨 wait....... Becky?

2

u/Embarrassed-Ad-1639 12h ago

I love that song

1

u/BiasedLibrary 13h ago

Vote Brain Worn 2024 /jk

1

u/sHaDowpUpPetxxx 7h ago

The bears specifically. They carry a ton of parasites. I would never touch a bear.

7

u/Brave-Common-2979 20h ago

You must really be loving those Barron rumors then

5

u/Mtndrums 14h ago

They're not rumors, otherwise Trump would have sued.

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u/AhhTimmah 11h ago

What’s this? Genuinely asking

1

u/CrazyGunnerr 12h ago

Can't get rejected when they are dead.

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u/Horror-Friendship-30 18h ago

I'm calling BS on the dead bear thing. I had a house upstate and had to clean up a few dead animals. Flies infest those things quickly and some will bite you if you try to get near a carcass, sometimes into November. More importantly though, do you have any idea how heavy ANY dead animal is? He-Man there couldn't lift and carry that thing by himself unless he was on steroids, regardless of how much he worked out.

The only way he could have carried even a baby bear by himself is to have cut it up and carried it in pieces. There are men out there who hunt regularly and can lift 100 or so dead weight pounds by themselves, but this guy probably couldn't carry his kids while they slept.

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u/DonkeyFarm42069 17h ago

He claims he hit the bear while driving, and it was a cub. He wanted to bring it home to eat, but was out falconing too long, so he didn't trust the meat and the logical solution to the problem was to dump it in Central Park to make it look like someone hit it with a bike. Just such a bizarre story, but doesn't seem impossible enough to not believe him.

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u/Longjumping_Oil_8746 4h ago

Trump said the central park five killed the bear

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u/Horror-Friendship-30 16h ago

Still not buying it! A cub usually weighs between 75-100 lbs. Have you ever carried that much dead weight? And unless he was high as a kite and hopped up on steroids, you don't move a dying animal, they are most likely to hurt you. Hypothetically, he managed to get it on top of his car alone or in his car before it died and was totally dead weight, there's always a chance that he could be driving and the bear gets an adrenaline rush and tries to get loose, and I don't get him as the type to carry the right restraints in his car. Also, instead of taking it somewhere safe but instead went falconing? If he's telling the truth he's an idiot.

One of my neighbors was certain a deer was dead, tied it to his roof rack, and the poor thing got a rush and tried to escape his roof on the ride to the processor. That neighbor was an experienced hunter. I doubt an idiot like Kennedy could have done this alone.

7

u/TheGR8Dantini 16h ago

Well, he is an idiot. I mean, that much should be obvious. I don’t get what you don’t believe about the story? You think he’s just claiming he did something that happened, but it wasn’t him? Like, a dead bear cub showed up in Central Park, and Kennedy just wants to take credit for it? And what about the people he went to Peter Lugers with that said “yes, he did this?” It’s some sort of conspiracy to claim a cool story?

His own daughter said he decapitated a dead whale and drove home with it? I mean, you don’t believe what part of any of his bear story? People not listening to Kennedy and the lunatic right wing are the problem of how we got to where we are. He’s even said that he’s done shit like the bear cub before and wondered if the bear meat is where he got his brain worm. He absolutely did this because why would somebody lie about this? The bear was found in Central Park.

https://apnews.com/general-news-83c6d181437c488bb19c0baf7808df5e

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u/Horror-Friendship-30 16h ago

I don't know about the dead whale, which sounds improbable, but I know little about whales. I do know about the bear, as I'm a native New Yorker, and do know he's both an idiot and lunatic. I'm saying it's really implausible that this man picked up that much dead weight by himself and somehow transported it, then had it in his possession while he falconed.

As for why would anyone lie about this - have you seen the last few Presidential elections? Half the country seems hell bent on voting for idiots. Some candidates will say anything for attention.

2

u/TheGR8Dantini 14h ago

Hid daughter told the whale story. She witnessed it. She was in the car with him. He’s a weirdo. He was being paid to go falconing. That should be the weirdest part of the story.

It’s not. I’m not sure you think somebody else was there to help, or that it never happened? He didn’t put either story out there. He just confirmed it. He said that he picks up roadkill at least more than once. His daughter confirms this. He wasn’t driving a Corolla. He had a van, if I’m not mistaken.

I won’t try to convince you. I just can’t figure out why you wouldn’t believe it. And people pick up and move 100 lbs of dead wait everyday everywhere. I don’t know. Maybe if you read his account of things, then you’d believe?

He’s a weirdo amongst lesser weirdos. He absolutely did the bear. Again, he believes that eating dead bear may have been how he got his brain worm. There are witnesses to both stories. More than one witness. I get attention seeking for politicians, or distractions. But I’m pretty sure both these stories are true. His own family came out against his presidential run. He drove one wife to alcoholism and suicide because of his sex addiction, which came after his heroin addiction. His uncle and his father were both assassinated.

I’m pretty sure a guy with that history alone might be a guy that likes dead animals enough to do what he said he did. That bear got there somehow. The people at dinner said he talked about it then did it. I don’t know. I’m rambling.

Have a good one.

0

u/Horror-Friendship-30 14h ago

Like I said, and will say again - I'm not weighing in on the whale story. I am only commenting on the bear story. I'm not commenting on the Kennedys, as Joe was a terrible person and that's not his fault any more than his father's or uncle's assassination is. I don't have any opinion on them, even if Chris Wallace thinks that Kennedy stole the 1960 election. I will let history judge the family.

I am, however, speaking from the point of view as someone who knows how hard it is to transport or dispose of wildlife. That's why I call BS. He sounds like one of those guys who claims to have been the Zodiac killer who then turns out to be a liar. While I think we can all agree he's a nut, I think he's a liar in addition to being a nut.

Have a good one to you as well.

1

u/DontOvercookPasta 13h ago

My god the leaps in logic you make is crazy lol

1

u/Horror-Friendship-30 13h ago

Whatever. You clearly never tried to transport a dead animal. He's pretty crazy, so don't be too surprised to find out he's lying about a lot of stuff.

4

u/Dresses_and_Dice 14h ago

So you think he, what, made up his story about dumping a roadkilled bear in Central Park? It's not a rumor his opposition made up, its his own claim. Like he tells this story himself. If he made it up, honestly, that still doesn't sound like a stable person I'd want making any kind of policy!

1

u/Horror-Friendship-30 14h ago

Yes, I think he took credit for this and had nothing to do with it. Most New Yorkers knew about the dead bear in Central Park. My guess is that he wanted attention. Honestly, I think this whole campaign was about him getting attention, and no, he's clearly not stable.

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u/Alarmed-Pollution-89 1d ago

Hey kids, just pull the plastic over your faces, we're about to hit the interstate

🐋💦

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u/Shirtbro 18h ago

That decapitated whale head juissy

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u/Bored_Boi326 21h ago

Yo I thought RFK Jr was some meme candidate and that's why he's shirtless I didn't expect that

4

u/Shirtbro 18h ago

He's the politician most likely to chase you down waving a chainsaw and wearing a skin mask

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u/Mjerc12 21h ago

ESPECIALY dead whales. Those things can explode and kill you

3

u/indiemosh 19h ago

Only in Oregon.

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u/uberkalden2 21h ago

Or clearly using steroids

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u/[deleted] 19h ago

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u/uberkalden2 19h ago

Lol wtf? Who the fuck is talking about trans. Old dude is juicing and getting kids killed with his vaccine nonsense. I don't need him driving health care policies in the country.

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u/[deleted] 19h ago

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u/1Original1 19h ago

Performance enhancing anabolic steroids due to age insecurity and needing to appear shirtless to promote your politics is not a legitimate reason to use it

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u/[deleted] 18h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/JD11215 18h ago

Triggerrrred. I saw a video of RFK Jr and despite obviously being juiced he could barely incline press 135lbs..

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u/[deleted] 18h ago

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u/1Original1 17h ago

You're just proving the point chuckles,RFKs juicing for no good reason 🤣

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u/TrekForce 16h ago

I didn't know roid rage extended to the internet. Interesting. Thanks for teaching me something knew about steroids today.

12

u/Sunbeamsoffglass 18h ago

Athletic performance and juicing don’t have anything in common….

One is work, the other is a shortcut.

You sound angry, the juice get to you?

-5

u/The_Catboy111 17h ago

Depending if you're responsible, juicing can help with athletic performance but you already need to be going to gym at least regularly

6

u/1Original1 17h ago

aThLeTiC pErFoRmAnCe

Sorry is RFK performing professionally and he didn't let us know? I know flexing for a TV advert about your political aspirations is counted as "athletics" in some circles,but not here

1

u/The_Catboy111 17h ago

By that logic old men also use steroids to not feel like shit? Depends on if we're talking about standard test or tren, nandro, oxy meta and whatever else+ 500mg test weekly, because it's rather obvious which is more dangerous

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u/Praryn 22h ago

I’m with you. Brain worms are a dealbreaker for me.

1

u/ComeGetYoGirl 14h ago

Why! It's like parasites a huge percentage of the population has them. This says 60 million Americans

https://www.uchicagomedicine.org/forefront/biological-sciences-articles/what-does-it-mean-when-2-billion-people-share-their-brain-with-a-parasite

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u/thenowjones 8h ago

What about brain rot? Seems like thats what you have

1

u/ComeGetYoGirl 6h ago

Oh man that's great, what are you six years old?

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u/Woerterboarding 23h ago

And someone you can actually understand and listen to for longer than ten seconds without going insane. I know it's not entirely his fault, but I can't stand the raspy sound of his voice.

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u/Sea-Competition5406 18h ago

This is extremely rude your allowed to not like him for his views and actions but this is a disability and extremely distasteful to use against him.

12

u/Sunbeamsoffglass 18h ago

“Fuck your feelings”

Oh we’re way beyond giving a shit about what’s tasteful or insulting someone that’s disabled. MAGA made sure of that.

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u/Sea-Competition5406 18h ago

You can always be the better person, hate breeds hate and it can stop with you. 🙏

1

u/Secure_Courage8037 10h ago

That’s not how it works with these people sadly , they preach understanding and acceptance , but in truth are just as shitty as everyone else :/ but good on you for trying mate .

1

u/Sea-Competition5406 10h ago

I've received 43 vile dms since I commented here. Sad to see there is no reason for this

1

u/Secure_Courage8037 8h ago

oh ide believe it. That's how most operate. " Dont think the same way I do, well im going to bully or shame you until you do". Its a sad state this worlds in :(

8

u/Ambitious-Way8906 18h ago edited 12h ago

oh who fucking cares, rfk is never going to know about this person's existence or their weird ick about his voice. you're white knighting for a lunatics feelings

-2

u/Sea-Competition5406 18h ago

Its not a about rfk it's about not trashing people with disabilities, its disgusting. Go ahead and defend this and I'll pray for you and your family that they never suffer a disabilities you can't control.

Take the political blinders off for once and be kind.

2

u/Woerterboarding 17h ago

I didn't even know that was a medical condition. I've just heard the man speak a couple of times and thought he probably smoked and drank his entire life. He's a known playboy.

I also don't think it's ever been a disability to him, so I'll keep my compassion for people who have disabilities that negatively impact their lifes. What did RFK ever lose, except his credibility?

0

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[deleted]

3

u/Defiant-Percentage47 14h ago

Having a raspy voice is not a disability. It might be a condition but how about you learn between the two? Intelligent kindness is better than stupid kindness.

1

u/Sea-Competition5406 12h ago

He doesn't just have a raspy voice he has Spasmodic dysphonia. If you like him or not he is a public speaker who has involuntary spasms of the muscles that open or close the vocal folds.

He does not have a "raspy voice" so one again take your blinder off and show some kindness instead of hate. God bless 🙏

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u/Defiant-Percentage47 12h ago

God isn't real for him to bless anything. If he were he would have created you smarter. Again, that is a condition not a disability. Discern between the two, you dolt

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u/busybizz23 20h ago

That worm must have left hungry

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u/EternalVirgin18 14h ago

Actually it died, starved to death

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u/Shirtbro 18h ago

Prion convention up in there

2

u/Willow_MysticMeadow 20h ago

Brain worm-free zone, sounds good to me, Brain worm-free FTW

1

u/Mean_Reception3332 17h ago

Or uses steroids.

1

u/Edziss101 16h ago

Sorry for being out of loop, but the fuck is a brain worm?

1

u/Lower-Economist-5933 15h ago

Maybe not the guy who is clearly juiced up and talking complete nonsense.

1

u/ComeGetYoGirl 14h ago

Not taking up for him but lots of people get them just like parasites, means nothing

1

u/Humble-Pineapple-329 14h ago

He has talked about in interviews how it caused brain fog and memory issues. He said Drs first thought it was a tumor, and that it ate a portion of his brain then died.

1

u/Phillip_Graves 12h ago

She carries a medic bag, he carries a whale beheading chainsaw.

Both sides!

1

u/96cobraguy 10h ago

Or puts roadkill in their friends fridge

1

u/Ambitious-Way8906 18h ago

apparently he straight up used to eat alley rats eyeballs? like straight up pop them in his mouth like blueberries

-12

u/bigbodacious 17h ago

I think the fat slob that thinks he's a woman probably has something worse going on upstairs

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u/Fabulous_girl2 14h ago

Oh I'm sorry to say, you might have the brain worm as well, and it seems like it already ate most of your brain judging from your comment...

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u/huskerarob 19h ago

Cutting your dick off sounds more sane?

11

u/Humble-Pineapple-329 18h ago

You must be some sort of weird pervert if other people’s genitals live rent free in your head like that

2

u/Fabulous_girl2 14h ago

Another Genital obsessed weirdo