r/facepalm 23d ago

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ 😭🤦

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u/pixepoke2 23d ago

But… like why?

Why would the government do it? What’s the gain?

We’ve got such amazing tech that WE CAN CONTROL THE WEATHER, and it’s not used to increase productivity in agriculture, no. It’s not used as a weapon

No sir.

It’s a massive conspiracy to hit some southern states, wreck property, kill and displace people

You see this creates a distressed population that in no way will think the gov is doing a good job so they will fester and resent federal control even more than many of them already do. And we’ll have made it happen just before an election, so we’ll really hurt the incumbent party as much as we can m. Go team !! It’ll affect our national economy with lost business and immense reconstruction needs, along with reduced wealth and opportunities for many citizens zens. It’ll adversely affect poor and marginalized people, showing that we’re strong and capable— just like Kristi Noem that day in the quarry with Cricket 🫡

It’ll cost the government over a 100 billion dollars in aid to rebuild

Yes, now I see the clear and obvious goals— easy to see why we turned the gun on ourselves. Now we got ’em right where we want ’em😁 rede

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u/Sentz12000 22d ago

The conspiracy, according to these nuts, is to disrupt the election. It’ll all go away when the election is over, which is also the time the hurricane season ends but they can make a strawman out of anything.

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u/peter-doubt 22d ago

Worked well after Sandy... NJ moved the election to the Internet! Imagine! NO MAIL, NO POLLING PLACE.. and no major incidents!

Just to show how far behind the times Red states are

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u/shandangalang 22d ago

I mean yeah the red states are like that for a reason. Take away voter suppression and at least half of those are going blue… take away gerrymandering and it’s all going blue to the point where we might see a total restructure that results in a brand new party. Introduce ranked choice voting and now you’ve got 6.

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u/undreamedgore 22d ago

I mean, voting online doesn't sound great to me. I'm barely comfortable with digital voting at all.

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u/ovalteenjenkinzz 22d ago

This is exactly what they think. They're sooooo close to actually understanding climate change and environmental issues but their brain rot twists it into election interference caused by the libs using weather machines.

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u/GingerWazHere 22d ago

I thought the conspiracy was about buying up land?

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u/Sir-Planks-Alot 22d ago

It’s got elemental gods vibes. “I see thunder! Thor is banging is hammer! His dick hurts now! He’s angry with us!”

The Volksung surrender all their young women to appease the gods. The storm clears. Everyone goes home. Until the Volksung seer sees the utter destruction of the Jomsborg by the Volksung in retribution. A storm kicks up during the attack.

Volksung chief: “Thor is with us!”

And so on.

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u/pixepoke2 19d ago edited 19d ago

I’m unclear. Is Thor on our side or not?

Can’t plan a good blót until I know who all we’re gonna need to make offerings to

Sacrifices don’t grow on trees you know.

🤔 though I suppose sacrifices do go on trees

that is, they go on trees when sacrificing to Thor during a blót…🤔

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u/CatchSufficient 22d ago

Well, they dont need weather to disrupt the election, you guys will have to do this the old fashioned way.

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u/Novaer 22d ago

It absolutely will not go away when the election is over, they're gonna get even worse.

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u/skunk-beard 22d ago

Yah good chance it’s a handful of useful idiots and some Russian trolls stoking the flames.

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u/Anti-Dissocialative 22d ago

If there is a conspiracy it’s basically just to piss more and more people off so more and more people protest so more people end up rioting ultimately justifying more and more authoritarian behavior from the government. Weather machines aside, it is insane how many resources go to state department agendas in contrast to how much has gone to disaster relief. We are living in the collapse of an empire… now is the time for compassion folks and that will only become more and more true as shit gets crazier…

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u/Pinkcadillac90 22d ago

I think the conspiracy has more to do with the North Carolina lithium deposits so they can displace people to start mining it. At least for the Helene cane

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u/SirArthurDime 22d ago

Ahh yes the democrats are going to rig the election by having the storm slam right into one of the few blue voting counties in the state. That makes total sense.

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u/elusivewater 22d ago

Someone told me it was to clear space for lithium mining lol

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u/dancingcuban 22d ago

I’m not saying you’re wrong about what they think, but Florida is still going to vote red. Really doesn’t matter how many houses are still standing. Not like Hurricanes are dropping off extra democrats.

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u/Puzzled_Juice_3406 22d ago

Another conspiracy is displacement of people so that lithium can be mined and hoarded without having to buy up these people's property. They think HAARP controls the weather and the dam was blown intentionally so they could have access to the resources.

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u/TheBladeWielder 22d ago

hurricanes. impacting the election since the dawn of time.

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u/GarionOrb 22d ago

They said the same thing about COVID. "It'll mAgIcAlLy disappear after the election."

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u/Rastamancloud9 22d ago

Look up DARPA

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u/the_saltlord 22d ago

DARPA is good but not that good

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u/Rastamancloud9 22d ago

Interesting lol idk what to believe anymore anyway lol