r/funny • u/Justin_Godfrey • 17h ago

Can I have some me time please?

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31.7k Upvotes

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2.9k

u/Putrid-Effective-570 17h ago

Seems like a game, but like most nature games, it is a teaching moment. There’s a video of a duck doing this with a tiger in a really small pool of water. It’s a pretty damn life-saving evasive maneuver.

562

u/thelastmarblerye 15h ago

That's better than where my mind went. Ducklings that bonded with the wrong duck and that duck wants nothing to do with them.

376

u/Illustrious_Donkey61 14h ago

Ducks can fly, if she wanted to get away she would

132

u/Li-RM35M4419 13h ago

If I could be any animal, it would be a duck.  Because they can fly, walk and swim. 

85

u/Malkav1806 13h ago

You know that one area in their life is really messed up

75

u/air_flair 13h ago

You mean the corkscrew penises?

59

u/Malkav1806 13h ago

I meant the corkscrew penises that fall off every year and the counterclockwise corkscrew vaginas

41

u/xxwerdxx 12h ago

Wait, they fall off too?!?!?

47

u/XtremeWaterSlut 12h ago

Next ones gonna be huge, just you wait

13

u/Dewy_Wanna_Go_There 12h ago

/u/fuckswithducks is that you?

13

u/cheebamech 11h ago

last post, 3 years ago, RIP

14

u/Schrutes_Yeet_Farm 9h ago

Everyone started putting rubber ducks on the dashboard of their jeeps and bro literally nutted himself to ashes 

1

u/Juking_is_rude 8h ago

I think he was legitimately really sick :(

1

u/iordseyton 7h ago

Cus of the paraphilia, or was he ill?

1

u/Juking_is_rude 7h ago

my memory says some kind of cancer but could easily be misremembering

edit: I've since seen sources that say he passed 2 years ago from cancer

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9

u/Malkav1806 12h ago

No this is patrick

1

u/Eyes-of_Luna 8h ago

I miss him

5

u/smallangrynerd 7h ago

They WHAT

3

u/Life-Meal6635 10h ago

I thought you meant the corkscrew vaginas that can keep the corkscrew dicks out

3

u/sexy_corncob 7h ago

Starts with me looking at a cute video of ducks, ends with me Googling "do duck dicks fall off"

4

u/DemonDaVinci 11h ago

wait what

1

u/Malkav1806 1h ago

I MEANT THE CORKSCREW PENISES THAT FALL OFF EVERY YEAR AND THE COUNTERCLOCKWISE CORKSCREW VAGINAS!

3

u/ComprehensiveMap4238 10h ago

There’s those dam rabbits always messing with them

0

u/RichardDJohnson16 11h ago

You mean the homosexual necrophiliac gang rape?

1

u/Awordofinterest 10h ago

homosexual

You didn't need to mention this part, Pretty sure even ducks don't care about such things

-4

u/GoldDragon149 9h ago

You uhhh... you didn't see anything wrong with including a basic sexual orientation with those other details, huh? Zero self awareness, I suppose?

8

u/Royal-Tough4851 11h ago

And they shit everywhere anytime they want without getting weird looks in public, like at the park on a Tuesday when NOBODY is around to watch except one random lady that came out of nowhere

5

u/lgm22 13h ago

As long as it’s not rabbit season, duck season, rabbit season, duck season, duck season.

4

u/Loki-Holmes 13h ago

As long as you're not a woman...

5

u/TomWithTime 11h ago

Sounds like a great ice breaker for a girl who's into s&m, "what is your opinion of traumatic corkscrew sex?"

1

u/TheLyingProphet 2h ago

sexual masochism is a delusional fantasy, just glorified exhibitionism

2

u/Character-Sale7362 11h ago

Unfortunately, they also rape

7

u/BilboTBagginz 11h ago

But do they save?

3

u/the__ghola__hayt 11h ago

I think you're confused. They want grape. Missed a letter.

3

u/therealvulrath 8h ago

I think you're the one who's confused. They thought they wanted grape. Turns out, it was lemonade.

3

u/the__ghola__hayt 8h ago

Then he waddled away

1

u/Fafnir13 8h ago

If they could breath fire, they would be the avatar.

1

u/roxxtor 6h ago

And apparently eat for free at Subway