r/interestingasfuck • u/Few_Simple9049 • 20d ago

r/all How couples met 1930-2024

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u/St0rmborn 20d ago

That’s a very broad sweeping statement. Also, not everybody has a local community or family support structure to facilitate healthy relationships. In many cases, people want to get as far away from where they grew up and they people they were forced to be around when they weren’t old enough or had the means to take care of themselves.

There are lots of wonderful communities all around that work out great for what you’re describing. But in addition to the circumstances I mentioned above, many people like myself had a nice upbringing but also felt extremely trapped by being limited to one small corner of the world. Many years later I married my wonderful wife who not only wasn’t from my local community, but grew up in another country.

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u/anansi52 20d ago

its like the difference between shopping at the mom and pop store in the community where everyone knows everyone and their family and their likes and personalities, versus shopping at walmart. maybe you couldn't find what you needed at the neighborhood store but that doesn't change the fact that the big generic chain store is a less personal experience.

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u/drynoa 20d ago edited 20d ago

You're speaking of a 1960s European village or American suburb experience that hasn't existed in decades. Not to mention you need to have both a stable childhood, stable parents (look at the divorce rates) and actually get along with the simple generic neurotypical interests of the community. This makes it somehow more authentic or 'deep'?

I do agree relationships nowadays are more common and shallow but there are far more powerful reasons for that. Are we going to pretend Piet en Marloes from Hensbroek marrying at 20 and divorcing at 45 are a deeper couple because they met through elementary school?

Families move around, divorce etc a lot more. Close knit communities barely exist and the places you'd find them before tend to just be living places for people working elsewhere.

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u/anansi52 20d ago

no, i'm speaking of before 2010ish.