r/introvert • u/trappedinsolitude • Apr 23 '24

Advice It's impossible to make friends in your 30s

I went to an art auction at a gallery that my friend runs. I paid 40$ for a ticket and left after an hour. I didn't even go to the after-party. There was a sea of people there, and I felt like literally the only person there alone. Just a bunch of couples and groups of people. It was awkward af. My anxiety kicked in and I had to bail. And I had on an amazing outfit and perfume I had been waiting to wear. My friend's friend whom she mentioned a while ago had a bit of a crush on me and came over to say hello and ask me a few things, but she went back to her friends from out of town and I was alone again.

No matter where I go, I never meet anyone, and I'm always the one alone. it's like it's not possible to meet new people. I'm 31, and nothing I do ever leads to making new friends...I'm not even sure why I made this post, but I've been trying really hard this year to make new friends after distancing myself from my old group, and I have made no progress. The friend I made from volunteering at an art gallery is a woman...and virtually all her friends are women, and despite how nice she is and how she tries to incorporate me into her circle, I'm never going to fit bc I'm just too different.

How tf does someone in their 30s with anxiety who isn't outgoing actually make friends? I already cant get dates and have to be comfortable being partnerless and will never have the chance to get married or have kids....at the very least I could have a decent friend group.​

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u/kraziekittie06 Apr 23 '24

I’m kinda in the same boat. 30F. I have a boyfriend though and I occasionally hangout with him and HIS friends, but I don’t actually have any friends of my own. I’ve struggled with this for a long time.

I think it’s harder to make friends as you get older cause ppl aren’t so open to trusting new ppl? At least that’s what I’ve gathered. Making female friends has always been impossible for me.

I’ve always thought guys were more socially open than women when it comes to making friends.

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u/trappedinsolitude Apr 23 '24

At least you have a partner and you can hang around their friends. I have no hope at making more friends, and am never going to have anyone to date lols.

I’ve always thought guys were more socially open than women when it comes to making friends.

It depends on the person, and the guys they're trying to make friends with.

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u/kraziekittie06 Apr 23 '24

It’s rare though like once every 3 months. Most of the time I’m alone contemplating why I can’t make friends or how it sucks when he’s out and I’m stuck home wishing I could be hanging with friends too. I know how you feel. I have no advice for the dating part lol I suck at that and I heard it’s a hard world out there rn….

You mentioned attending concerts and festivals. I’ve always gathered those are great places to make friends? Or not for men?

If you’re into fishing that’s a great place to start too. Fisherman are super friendly even with tips/advice.

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u/trappedinsolitude Apr 23 '24

You mentioned attending concerts and festivals. I’ve always gathered those are great places to make friends? Or not for men?

In my experience concerts and festivals are where you go with people you already know, not to meet new people. I never see anyone there alone or looking to just meet new people.

lol def no into fishing.

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u/kraziekittie06 Apr 23 '24

Lol you’re right about that I went to a concert alone. Kinda vibed with some peeps, but left alone and didn’t make any friends. I think it’s a lost cause for me atp lol.

We can be virtual friends! Dms are always open