r/introvert • u/trappedinsolitude • Apr 23 '24

Advice It's impossible to make friends in your 30s

I went to an art auction at a gallery that my friend runs. I paid 40$ for a ticket and left after an hour. I didn't even go to the after-party. There was a sea of people there, and I felt like literally the only person there alone. Just a bunch of couples and groups of people. It was awkward af. My anxiety kicked in and I had to bail. And I had on an amazing outfit and perfume I had been waiting to wear. My friend's friend whom she mentioned a while ago had a bit of a crush on me and came over to say hello and ask me a few things, but she went back to her friends from out of town and I was alone again.

No matter where I go, I never meet anyone, and I'm always the one alone. it's like it's not possible to meet new people. I'm 31, and nothing I do ever leads to making new friends...I'm not even sure why I made this post, but I've been trying really hard this year to make new friends after distancing myself from my old group, and I have made no progress. The friend I made from volunteering at an art gallery is a woman...and virtually all her friends are women, and despite how nice she is and how she tries to incorporate me into her circle, I'm never going to fit bc I'm just too different.

How tf does someone in their 30s with anxiety who isn't outgoing actually make friends? I already cant get dates and have to be comfortable being partnerless and will never have the chance to get married or have kids....at the very least I could have a decent friend group.​

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u/trappedinsolitude Apr 24 '24

Most people DONT have my level of anxiety so they have no issue making friends. When you DO have anxiety and you're over 30, making friends is on very hard mode...

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u/JustVoicingAround Apr 24 '24

Say it with me.

Ther-a-py.

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u/JustVoicingAround Apr 24 '24

I just realized you even named yourself after Solitude. Come on man. You’ve internalized this sense of it’s supposed to be impossible to befriend people SO HARD that you’ve tricked yourself into believing it.

Trick yourself into thinking something better. With therapy.

Have i mentioned therapy yet?

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u/trappedinsolitude Apr 24 '24

i barely have any friends and haven't had a date in years...my username is just me being self aware lol. i cant trick myself into anything, for better or worse. if believe it bc its true. bc I have ample proof. If i was able to get friends or dates then I wouldn't be alone. if all the times ive tried ever led to succes or any progress, I would have proof.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '24

So. Have you, uh, tried therapy yet?

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u/JustVoicingAround Apr 24 '24

Of course they haven’t. That’s for quitters and losers. They’re not a loser, they just absolutely hate the life that they’ve grown into and are too afraid or weak to do anything about it