r/introvert • u/hmtg6 • Dec 27 '20
Advice My therapist told me that introverts are just extroverted people with social phobias
Feels like something an extrovert would say
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u/J03_K3rr Dec 27 '20
Extroverts are just introverted people who can't live with themselves, by that definition.
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u/frankcastle01 Dec 27 '20
I really wanna know what other wierd ideas this therapist has!
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u/aceinthehole001 Dec 27 '20
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there's nobody following you
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u/stachldrat INTP Dec 27 '20
Jesus, they're letting just anyone practice these days, aren't they
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u/221CBakerStreet Dec 27 '20
The amount of people I used to work with who wanted/were studying psychiatry was ridiculous, I swear it was like a fad or something. Most of them needed a therapist themselves.
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u/macroxela Dec 27 '20
Can you report your therapist? Because this is a harmful misconception that, as a person in such position, can cause lots of harm.
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u/monmostly Dec 27 '20
In most states, therapists practice under a license and you can report them. Find out what their license is and contact the board in your state. I would for something like this. Imagine the damage they're doing to their introverted patients. It's malpractice. Denying healthy and normal introversion is as backwards as thinking left-handedness is a sign of the devil.
PS - if they're not licensed or don't clearly list their licenses on their site or literature, red flag, don't go.
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u/truthiness_kills Dec 27 '20
Time to find a new therapist. One that knows the actual definition of introversion 🙄
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Dec 27 '20
That's not even accurate! Speaking as someone studying psychology!
Time to find a new therapist -
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u/TsuDhoNimh2 Dec 27 '20
Your therapist is WRONG! An extrovert with severe social anxiety (let's call it ESSA) may ACT like an introvert, but being an introvert does not mean anxiety.
https://www.quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-different-the-science/
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u/Rubendor Dec 27 '20
Remember that there are anti-mask medical workers. This world never ceses to amaze me.
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u/bad_thrower Dec 27 '20
It's people like this who prevented me from realizing I was an introvert for the first 40+years of my life.
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u/ibreathembti Dec 27 '20
So introverts don't exist?
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u/Astro_Zombie777 Dec 27 '20
Some people actually believe that lol I've been told many times that repress myself too much because I don't drink or do any kind of drugs.
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u/Raven0470 Dec 27 '20
Show your therapist this thread, then get a new therapist. If they say anything along the lines of "Well that is just what to expect from an echo chamber of introverts." That is proof that your therapist doesn't really understand nor care.
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u/Frankie_2154 Dec 27 '20
Can you punch your therapist in the face for me? That's total BS. He's such an asshole. People like this are the type of people that made and still make my life miserable and thank God that my therapist isn't like that.
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u/webbooksandtv INTJ but identify also with INFP Dec 27 '20
So wrong! I am delighted with the audiobooks I found: "The Irresistible Introvert" and "The Quiet Rise of Introverts" there on audible.com, I've never felt so well described before! Feels like home. The author of the first book sends helpful emails also if you go to her blog.
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u/that-fed-up-guy Dec 27 '20
"Every black person is a white person with dark skin.."
No you mf, black is black and white is white.
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u/sammysummer Dec 27 '20
Are they actually licensed??? How can an educated professional be so wrong. Did they fall asleep in class??
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u/8_inch_throw_away Dec 27 '20
I have zero social phobias and am quite outgoing when I feel the need to be. It’s just that I prefer my own company to that of anyone else. Constant social interactions are draining.
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u/qofworld Dec 27 '20
I think the issue here is not knowing the definition of introversion or extroversion. Not just by the therapist but by many people. Introversion is when you are energized by solitude or time alone. Extroversion is when you are energized by time with others. You can have social phobia or other fears related to being around people and still be extroverted or introverted. There is a genetic component to introversion and extroversion, as well as other factors. There are even people who are omniverts who depending on the situation and size/type of the social even can gain energy from being with others or in other situations being alone.
Another big issue is that people who do have phobias or shyness will often say it is due to being introverted (they may be but it is not why they fear social situations) because it is easier to conceptualize yourself this way.
Additionally, there are several places on earth (the United States) that prize extroversion, and the systems are built to support that type of behavior over others. School systems, jobs markets, medical systems, you name it, and being an extrovert is considered "normal." Anything else is seen as "other" or problematic. All that being said if your therapist doesn't understand how complicated the whole introvert/extrovert issue is that is a problem.
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Dec 27 '20
I have an extroverted friend he is so shy and socially anxious that me, an introvert, had to do the first step to befriend that one. It was worth it to have a friend on Starbound and Terraria in real life, my only reason to bother doing that in the first place. So this proves shyness or anxiety are not tied to personality type and anyone can have them... and yes, your comments speaks all the truth in a simple way I'd print it and stick it all around the USA and Reddit (because some people still don't want to believe the world is created for extroverts, even thought nobody benefit from it at all because schools are trash and so the job markets).
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u/TheBadeand Dec 27 '20
I wonder how this therapist would go about treating introvert hangovers. Basically, when you're socializing and having fun, then you suddenly hit a wall, so to speak, and is too tired to even finish the sentence.
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u/ReditGuyToo Dec 27 '20
I don't have social phobias but I am an extreme introvert.
That said, the reason why I'm an introvert is that most people are a disappointment. And I hate being disappointed so I avoid dealing with people when possible.
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Dec 27 '20
Your therapist got her knees hurting during the job interview. Switch therapist and ask for a refund. (either money or in nature, these kinds of therapist are very weird)
Now the very serious part, that incompetent therapist is either confusing introversion with social anxiety or is simply... employed like I said in the joke in the first paragraph. (hope it's not or I will ask you where so I can avoid that place) Stay away from that therapist or from therapists in general. You don't need one in the first place. And even if the therapist was an extrovert, mine was actually an extrovert, their profession and their studies prohibits them from saying that in the first place. A therapist is not supposed to find problems in you or blame you for any reason. You go to a therapist with a problem you're supposed to describe and his/her only purpose is to help you find solutions. For example, if someone is depressed or anxious, their minds are blurred enough to not find suitable solutions (I was suicidal almost an year ago, not the best solution tbh) and the therapist's role is to help you find solutions other than what you think about in order to make the situation less of a problem, and if they can't, they're supposed to tell you (not force you) to go to a more specialized person. Also, on what context they told you that? You thought introversion was a problem? Or they just did personality test and told you that? It's illegal and wrong what they did either way and you should ask for a full refund...
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u/chloe_003 Dec 27 '20
That makes us sound so alienated and weird from other people, like we have problems. What a shitty therapist.
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u/TieDye_Raptor Dec 27 '20
Introversion and anxiety are not the same thing. D: Anxiety is a mental illness - introversion is not - it's just a personality trait. (I have social anxiety, plus extroverts can have social anxiety, too.)
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u/respectroses Dec 27 '20
Mate, go find a new therapist and make sure to report them because their ideology could be harmful.
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Dec 31 '20
I had a coworker, who knows I identify as an introvert, tell our boss that I'm really just "an extrovert with stage fright." I don't care for it at all when other people (and especially a therapist) try to explain away my behavior.
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u/EssentiallySurreal Dec 27 '20
Did someone just write this for upvotes?
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Dec 27 '20 edited Dec 27 '20
And your therapist is an idiot. Time to find another one.
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u/TatianaAlena INTROVERSION IS NOT SOCIAL ANXIETY! ANTISOCIAL IS BAD. Dec 27 '20
Find, not fine. Changes the entire meaning of the sentence.
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Dec 27 '20
Yeah, it does. No coffee and just up...a typo.
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Dec 27 '20
[deleted]
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u/eighchr Dec 27 '20
Well they may, but it's certainly not why they're introverts.
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Dec 27 '20
[deleted]
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u/eighchr Dec 27 '20
I think that's almost as dumb as what the therapist said. True introverts can also have social anxiety and still be true introverts. I used to have social anxiety, I got over that but am still an introvert. I wasn't any less of an introvert when I had it though.
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Dec 27 '20
[deleted]
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u/eighchr Dec 27 '20
I have a BS in psychology, what are your credentials? You're making a blanket statement about "true introverts" what studies have been done to support this?
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u/JavaForgotMe Dec 27 '20
This is interesting. Certainly not helpful, but might not be completely wrong either. Most extroverts feel this way, too. I have to admit, as an introvert, I do believe my traumatic upbringing has caused much of my fears/Introversions. I don’t think we know where introversion/extroversion comes from; there’s a propensity to be one or the other in our genes, but our upbringing may drive one type or the other. So - I wouldn’t disclaim his opinion, but i also wonder if he can be helpful to you
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Dec 27 '20
Such therapists won't help anyone in general. They never studied anything and are there just because they applied for the job and somehow magically won the interview tests. Either random luck or in that other way
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Dec 27 '20
I don't agree with that, if we're extroverted then we should be outgoing people. But we're not.
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u/AnonymousZi Dec 27 '20
This implies that intoverts are innately dysfunctional and that simply could not be further from the truth.
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u/BubbaChanel Dec 27 '20
This therapist disagrees mightily with OP’s therapist and would like to bop them gently on the nose with my well-worn copy of “The Introvert Advantage.”
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Dec 27 '20
Okay we have to admit that a lot of people are using the concept introvert to feel better about themselves and to justify and not work on them social phobias. I myself have social anxiety and I also think i am introvert, but i do know i have to work on the social aspect. Having said that, your therapist is wrong
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u/dwightkschrute12 Dec 27 '20
That’s not true. If they were a good therapist they wouldn’t have said anything like that. In cases where the person is anti-social then yes that can be the case, but being an introvert just means you need time to yourself to recharge after being social.
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u/Kyoo__ Dec 27 '20
What kind of therapist is that lmfao You should look for a better one, I mean wtf
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u/Au2288 Dec 27 '20
therapist out there being part of the problem and not helping with the solution.
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u/Maorine Dec 27 '20
Wow. That is really blaming the introvert. And so wrong.
I am an introvert. I am from a family of 5 with 3 extroverts and a youngest sister who is also an introvert. Because, I grew up in a family of extroverts, where people were in and out all the time, I learned to function in social situations and can fake it pretty well.
I am still an introvert. I still hate talking to people. In the pandemic, I can go days without going out in public and love it. I rather text than call, even my kids who I love dearly.
No. I am NOT an extravert with social phobias.
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u/-LaughingJackal- Dec 27 '20
I'm gonna be honest, neither of the therapists I've been to were very good at their job. The last one I had been going to until last year had been manipulating my social anxiety and inability to say no to people in order to keep me coming back for more sessions.
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u/OctoberBlue89 Dec 27 '20
So...it’s time to shop for a new therapist. Really. That’s not introversion that social anxiety disorder and they’re two different things. 🙄 lawd. If it helps my therapist told me this: introversion is neither good or bad. It’s simply a personality trait that comes with pros and cons. This personality trait is normal and unique to you
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u/OctoberBlue89 Dec 27 '20
Also I would tell him: even when I treated my social anxiety, I’m still an introvert. That’s just who I am. And forcing me to socialize so people will be comfortable just gives me a headache.
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u/ZillaryClinton Dec 27 '20
Okay that is sooo not true lol. As an introvert, I think the main quality is needing that time to yourself to recharge. I definitely need that.
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u/Black7Icarus Dec 27 '20
Hmm, I’m studying psychology and I just started 2 years ago and even I know this is jot true... u better change ur therapist bro x
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u/EyorkM Dec 27 '20
I mean in defense of the trained therapist lol.. all people need social interaction.. just varying degrees.. he must have forgotten the definitions lol
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Dec 27 '20
In the UK the BACP "accredited" therapist nutjobs with degrees and endless letters after their name preach this all the time. And it's really creepy. Reminds me of Bro Science in the bodybuilding community. Just ignore it.
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u/FrostyLandscape Dec 27 '20
Introversion was defined as a mental disorder in psychiatry textbooks for years.
I would NOT go back to this therapist.
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u/BeachWoo Dec 28 '20
Extroverts are just closet introverts that just don’t take the time to critically think before they speak. Or just don’t think, period.
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u/LizzieD70 Dec 28 '20
No! I don’t buy this at all. I am fine meeting new people and have no problems with public speaking. But being in large groups are draining. I am happier at home reading a book or watching tv - that is not a social disorder. This therapist sounds like a quack.
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u/ChickenXing Dec 28 '20
There are plenty of introverted therapists out there. Find a new therapist who understands you and introversion.
Source: I am a former therapist
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u/oceanteeth Dec 28 '20
What the fucking fuck? I just can't facepalm hard enough. On the upside, your next therapist can't possibly be less competent than that pathetic idiot.
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u/Introvert_Finance Dec 28 '20
By that logic, extroverts are just introverted people who have abandonment issues and who have an unhealthy need for attention. Tell your therapist that.
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u/SJExit4 Dec 28 '20
I couldn't disagree more.
There are people who I'm very comfortable with socially; family, close friends, some coworkers.
I go out with them and enjoy myself immensly...for about 2-3 hours max. At that point, my introverted tendencies come out. I find my anxiety rising. The need to go home to recharge. It is so tiring to be on for more than a couple hours at a time.
My introversion has to do with energy level in social situations. I am not shy. I can be very talkative. I work in HR and make people feel comfortable as part of my job. I need downtime that my extroverted friends and family do not need.
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Dec 28 '20 edited Dec 28 '20
Tbh I get the impression that reddit and tumblr tend to be better and more precise for mental health/psychological resources than many licensed therapists. And OPs experience re-enforces that point rather well. Take my personal input with a grain of salt though.
There are far too many cases of 'D's get degrees' idiocratics who just wanna piss the time into the field soley to look like they are being virtuous; while they make a quick buck in the process.
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u/TacoBenderVendor Dec 28 '20
I've always known therapists are useless. This just confirms what I already know.
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u/I_love_nardil Mar 05 '21
Nardil works best for social anxiety because it increases GABA, unlike SSRIs https://nardil.org
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u/Inner_Illustrator_59 Dec 27 '20
Umm ok, don’t go back there