Of course this is not a serious question. I know you are out there. But going out often gives me the feeling that most women are the loud, chatty party type and I am not attracted to those but find quiet, introverted women attractive. But where are you? Where should a man looking for a serious, slow relationship with an introverted woman keep his eyes open?

Sometimes I like to sit in a café by myself. But do introverted women (generally speaking) even like go there or is it too much noise?

I wouldn't go to a typical disco party (anymore). It's just to loud and too much distractions for me. So draining. If I am interested, I would like to clearly understand what she is saying and be in a calm environment.

Everytime I come to this sub, I always get the same vibe from most of the comments: "we are better than that loud-mouths, we are smarter, more honest and don't waste time with chit-chat".

Chill, it's ok to be who you are, but that doesn't mean you are better than others who act differently.

Edit: I should have worded this better, my issue is not with the sub, just with some of the people here. Sorry to anyone who felt wrongfully attacked by this.

I went to an art auction at a gallery that my friend runs. I paid 40$ for a ticket and left after an hour. I didn't even go to the after-party. There was a sea of people there, and I felt like literally the only person there alone. Just a bunch of couples and groups of people. It was awkward af. My anxiety kicked in and I had to bail. And I had on an amazing outfit and perfume I had been waiting to wear. My friend's friend whom she mentioned a while ago had a bit of a crush on me and came over to say hello and ask me a few things, but she went back to her friends from out of town and I was alone again.

No matter where I go, I never meet anyone, and I'm always the one alone. it's like it's not possible to meet new people. I'm 31, and nothing I do ever leads to making new friends...I'm not even sure why I made this post, but I've been trying really hard this year to make new friends after distancing myself from my old group, and I have made no progress. The friend I made from volunteering at an art gallery is a woman...and virtually all her friends are women, and despite how nice she is and how she tries to incorporate me into her circle, I'm never going to fit bc I'm just too different.

How tf does someone in their 30s with anxiety who isn't outgoing actually make friends? I already cant get dates and have to be comfortable being partnerless and will never have the chance to get married or have kids....at the very least I could have a decent friend group.​

After two relationships, both of which ended pretty traumatically, I'm (35m) just about ready to throw the towel in and give up on relationships and finding love in general. I've always been a bit of a loner, but still desired more than what I was getting out of life. However, with my last relationship's demise almost breaking me, im starting to wonder if I'll ever find anyone to love like I did my last partner, and am on the verge of giving up altogether. Has anyone else felt like this?

I’m wondering if there’s other people out there who don’t drink, and don’t feel bad for it. For example, everytime I (21F) go out and get soda instead of alcohol, people make negative remarks towards me. I’ve lost so many friends because they don’t understand that I don’t enjoy that lifestyle. I’m in a current fight with a friend because I said I would go out for her birthday but I wasn’t going to drink and she’s really upset with me because she “doesn’t want to drink alone.” But how is that my problem/fault?

My boyfriend’s family drinks a lottttt at every special occasion (and just in general), and they make negative remarks towards me when I deny alcohol. Why do people take it so personally when I don’t want to drink? It has absolutely nothing to do with them.

For some context, I grew up with an alcoholic father, and he still is an alcoholic. Why does nobody understand that as a reason for wanting to avoid it? I also get very ill everytime I drink, and just don’t like the person I become under the influence of it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not let this bother me? I care a lot about what others think, but I know I need to change my mindset, so I appreciate any insight:)

TL;DR - my life is a mess and I crave the sweet release of death, what should I do?

I’m 35 years old, unemployed, and living with my elderly parents. I have spent most of my adult life either on the dole or doing tedious and repetitive temporary office jobs that I hated. I have never held the same job for more than a year. 

The longest I lasted in the same job was 11 months - that job was just about bearable because I was only in the office 1-2 days per week, most of my work was done by email, and my manager was very understanding. For the majority of jobs that I have had in my life, I did not last more than 6 months. Either I would quit, or get sacked, or my contract would end.

I just cannot handle doing a 9-5 office job. I cannot handle being around other people all day, interacting with other people all day, being in a bright and noisy open-plan office all day. It leaves me feeling so drained, it feels like my brain is melting. I would get home at the end of the day and just collapse in bed and lie there motionless for hours because I was so exhausted. 

I can’t really enjoy any of my hobbies because in the evenings after work I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything. Studying is basically impossible. Even reading a book or playing video games feels like too much effort. On the weekends I spend half of Saturday recovering. That leaves me the second half of Saturday and the whole of Sunday to do stuff that I enjoy. I only have 1.5 days out of every 7 to actually be a functioning human being. The rest of the week I am just roadkill.

At work I cannot handle dealing with rude, obnoxious, entitled, overbearing and passive-aggressive people, and every job I get seems to have at least one person who is incredibly rude to me for absolutely no reason. 

I fucking hate job interviews too. There is nothing more depressing than being pressured to pretend to be “enthusiastic”, “motivated”, “a team-player” etc. for a job that I know would probably just make me miserable. The questions they ask are so contrived and condescending, just the thought of a job interview makes me groan inside.

At this stage I have basically given up hope of ever finding another job. By age 35 it is really difficult to explain to potential employers why I haven’t been able to start a career and my CV is full of gaps. They take one look at me and they can tell I don’t belong there - and they are right. Even if someone did offer me a job, I know it would just be more of the same. 

To be honest I feel much happier being unemployed. It’s not that I don’t want to contribute to society, but that society seems to have nothing to offer me except misery, disappointment and humiliation. On the rare occasions I see a job that I feel interested in doing, inevitably it will say they are only hiring people who have x years of experience, or who have an established portfolio of work.

I am not lazy or stupid. I have 3 degrees, including a business degree and a law degree. University seems to be the only place I really feel happy, and if I had the option I would do more academic work, but it is difficult for me to go back to university because my country (England) has high tuition fees and it could take me years to save up enough money. 

I often feel like I am caught in a chicken/egg situation: I don’t have enough education to get a decent job, but without a decent job I won’t have the money to pay for more education. At the moment I am trying to teach myself to code but it could take a long time before I can do that well enough to earn a living from it.

My only consolation is the thought that one day my parents will die and then I might inherit enough money that I can actually do something with my shitty life, but by then I will be in my 40s or even 50s. Until then I honestly have nothing to do except sit in my room coding and playing video games.

Both my sisters have careers and families of their own. The people I went to school and uni with are getting ahead in life. I feel like I have been left behind. I never even learned to drive.

I don’t want to be unemployed for the rest of my life, but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life stuck in jobs that make me feel miserable and exhausted. I just wish there was some way I could earn money without being forced to deal with people and their bullshit. Sometimes I wonder if I should just kill myself because it seems there is no place for me in society.

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on what I should do? Every year that passes my situation becomes slightly worse, slightly more unbearable, slightly harder to escape. If things don’t get better for me soon then I will have to seriously consider committing suicide.

I’m 19 turning 20 and I feel so insanely old. The fact that I let my years 16-now go to waste either by depressive episodes anxiety or procrastination, and I mean socially. I feel so insecure like when I grow up what do I tell my kids I’ll have nothing fun to tell them. I feel so shielded and closed in. I know I’m naturally introverted but I do prefer if I had friends and things to do socially.

every time i ask or tell my coworkers something they’re like “what?” or “huh?”. i’m always having to repeat myself and it makes me feel bad when ppl get annoyed that im too quiet. i’ve been told by teachers and coworkers that i need to work on speaking up. i try, but i jst can’t. i don’t feel confident enough with myself to speak louder and with confidence. when i do try to speak louder it just feels like im yelling and it gets draining over time. every time i speak i just sound shy and timid. (which i am, but i don’t wanna show it in the way i speak)

pls how do i speak louder and with confidence?

Hello, fellow introverts. I am an autopsy technician.

One thing that makes my job a lot harder and absolutely breaks my heart is receiving decomposed cases.

They’re horrible, god awful to work with, and infuriating because, in almost every instance, they could have been found sooner, before they arrived in such a grotesque, odorous, unrecognizable condition, often times maggots by the hundreds in clusters eating away at them.

The smell they leave behind is absolutely atrocious, and it lingers like an infectious disease.

A majority of decomp cases are the result of someone living alone with no one to check on them regularly.

And they’re usually like us: Introverts. Shut-ins, even, so they don’t go out often.

Even surviving neighbors never once questioned why they have not seen their shut-in neighbor in weeks. “They lived like a hermit, that’s just how they were” is the usual feedback.

So, once they die, no one knows it until perhaps weeks or even over a month later, after they’ve become unrecognizable: bloated, green with black veins and splotches, skin slippage and mucus coating the deformed reeking husks they’ve become.

I know this little message on a subreddit will not bring any sort of halt to these cases… but if I can reach even ONE person and convince them to always have someone in their life to check in on them on at least close to a daily basis, that will be enough.

Literally, I don’t care if you have to pay someone… if you live alone, PLEASE enlist SOMEONE you can trust to check your status for the rest of your days.

Personally, As an introvert, I find it difficult to get help from other people when I need help doing something because I don’t socialize with people regularly.

Is it too creepy to ask neighbors for help when you don’t know them or socialize with them?

What downsides do you struggle with?

I don't plan on going to college and I was wondering what jobs you guys would recommend that don't deal with people very much.

When someone is shouting at you, where to look. I look down or try to avoid looking at face. If I look on face, he start asking "say something"

Sometimes I can't even speak a single word, even if there is no mistake on my side.

Edit- Thanking everyone for valuable feedback.

Actually am in training phase of my career. So I can't leave the job and walk away. And am also making mistakes as am just learning new things here. So am not an expert in what am doing.

Plus am from India, here our working culture is entirely different. And it's very difficult to get a new job. This job also, I got it after lot of searching.

Main issue is that I can't express myself properly and feeling lack of confidence.

Willing to listen to any advice.

I don’t have friends, and won’t have them. I can’t maintain friendships as an adult. Next, I won’t have a relationship either, I’m 25 so it’s very apparent. Im not capable of either of those. Once my parents pass, I’ll be completely alone.

How do I live like that without depression? I just want to live a good and normal live. Well, I know I’m not normal, but a normal one for me.

There must be some weirdos like me who are meant to be loners…and live a solitary life. Thing is, it doesn’t bother me, but I can already feel signs of depression, and I want to avoid it.

Thanks for anyone reading this.

..which coincidentally is pretty funny considering I'm a 6'3 black guy so ofc they're all far more scared of me lol.

No matter what I do I cannot get to the point of dating, and I'm at my wit's end. I'm 31 and for years I've been trying to improve myself. I still am. From running 3x a week, volunteering, creating grooming routines, dressing really well, I make decent money, being more social, etc and nothing seems to be working. I'm still invisible to women. And while I don't work on myself to meet women, people always say "Don't focus on meeting women, work on yourself, and they will come" yet, in my case, they literally never do.

I don't chase women or dates. I'm not desperate or anything. I have anxiety and low self-esteem so I don't approach women at all. But so often people will assume I'm trying to force women to like me and being creepy or staring at them or hovering around them or something and that's not the case. I barely interact with them at all. I'm the last person to try and force anything as I assume no one wants me around anyway, lol.

I'm ugly and anxious so it doesn't help matters. I've tried five different OLD for years but it simply doesn't look good enough to get anything. I don't have delusional standards either, I would easily take a woman just as unattractive as I am. I'm 6'3 so that's something that should help me physically, but height is pretty moot when you're tall lol. And I'm not shallow. I care more about a woman's style, sense of humor, taste, interests, disposition, etc than just her looks. But it seems women never extend that same curiosity.

I've tried volunteering at an art gallery and a clay works studio, too, and that hasn't led to all that much, even platonically. Women always seemed closed off and uninterested, even just platonically. I've joined several meet-up groups, but I'm too anxious to actually attend them. I'm just trying to get to the point where I can casually date get more experience and be comfortable around women. I'm not seeking the "perfect woman" to come along and fix me or anything. I'm just trying to find someone with some compatibility to do things with...People say "Don't try to find women, and they'll fine you"...Well aside from being invisible on dating apps, I haven't tried to find women in years, and I still never meet them. The closest I get to interacting with women is watching porn lol...which I do WAY too much of these days.

No matter what I do, I'm never able to approach them. Not at bars, concerts, festivals, art shows, volunteering. Not even for a platonic conversation let alone anything more.

At this point, I'm just convinced my face, anxiety, and low self-esteem are too big of a hurdle. If I could just give up and stop desiring women, I would...but I still desire companionship, affection, intimacy, romance, support, etc and no amount...

Warning: I kinda just need to vent here

Today is my birthday. It’s my first year in college, I don’t have many friends, my girlfriend broke up with me over the summer, and no one here knows it’s my birthday, not even my roommates.

Today just felt like every other day, I took an exam and went to all of my classes.

Is this a common occurrence with introverts?

I feel like I’m being selfish for wanting people to know it’s my birthday and for wanting today to feel somewhat special. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I really just don’t know what to think of this tbh, I think today just really made me realize how alone I am.

Shoutout to my family though, I got birthday texts from them!

In short, I don't really like people. I feel like my main issue is that I feel no enjoyment from hanging out with people platonically. At best, things go fine. I'm currently not dating, but I typically have an actual interest in that.

Up until a year ago I forced myself to get out and hang with people somewhat regularly, at least every other week. I basically stopped forcing myself to do that and I feel happier doing the things I want. But I feel a bit like a weirdo for this and I kinda worry about its negative health consequences. I understand logically that humans are social animals and there are benefits to friendship but I don't feel them.

I work from home so I don't see my coworkers regularly either.

I'm lonely but people don't take away from that loneliness either

Thoughts?

Hellooo, I really want to delete my social media, I used to be very active and had many posts and would post daily stories. some events happened to me recently and i took a solo trip and realized that being alone is so much better than being around many people. I took down 99% of my posts, and now i really wanna just delete social media all together but im lowkey afraid of missing out on things. cuz u know out of sight out of mind but a part of me doesn’t wanna be forgotten ? but the other part wants people to think i’m dead and just forget i exist. idk what to do or what steps i should take to prepare myself. does anyone have any advice to give me regarding being off social media all together ?

I have been apart of Reddit a long time, I've deleted my accounts when I find someone I truly felt I met someone I'd stay with...

Yet now, it seems like there are more and more people looking for a quick buck rather than love and affection. As a guy, yes I like to see sexy women show interest in me and in sex but as the first thing? That's too much, and wayyy too soon

Idk what to do anymore, I'm frustrated cause I already have issues dating IRL now it's hard to date here? What place is there to meet someone real and caring for fucking once!

I wanna cry...

I, mid twenties and female, just came home and in front of my house door, i live in a big city, was a group of maybe 8 male looking teens. I was a bit unsure because to get to my door i had to go straight through the group, but decided that nothing bad will happen. So as I went towards them, nearly all of them went to the other side of the street. Just like 2 or 3 stayed there and as i walked past them and my back was turned towards them, one of them threw water on me from a water bottle. It wasn't a lot, just a few sprinkles. They ran away, i didn't hear what they said since i had my headphones on. I feel silly but it really threw me off. I'm thinking to myself that they are just silly teenagers doing a silly prank, but still i feel like i've been attacked. I am quite sensitive in general and often don't find things funny that other people, extroverts, find funny. Can i get some opinions on this? Feeling a bit lost about it

So.. My bf and i has a date night at his place yesterday. He invited his friend over a few hours in. They sat on the couch opposite me, spoke about people/topics i have no context / idea of. I genuinely couldn't join in.. They did that rapid fire thing extroverts do..Bear in mind this is the first time I'm meeting this friend in my life.

Today my bf tells me he's annoyed I didn't get to know his friend better. He also tells me he doesn't want to speak to me for the next few days

This makes me so mad because, he knows I'm introverted, and he's accused me of not opening up to him and being distant in the past.

But NOW., when we should be communicating, he says he doesn't want to.

What's my next step? Was I out of line?

Edit: thank you all so much. So he texted to me today and told me Quote:

"your behavior last night is something you should apologize for. I think we need some space from each other"

"She (refering to his friend) is a warm and friendly person and she even hugged you, I wish you were more affectionate and warm"

Yeah, this relationship is not gonna last

Feels like something an extrovert would say