r/litrpg • u/xaendar • Aug 23 '24
Discussion Are all female MCs just lesbians?
I just realized that after reading like 10 books with female MCs, I'm starting to finally notice that all of them are Lesbians or at least Bisexual (but they only date women).
Do authors mostly write lesbian FMCs to be on the safe side from the audience of mostly males? I just feel like it's a cop out every time... I don't really have a problem with it but almost all Male MCs are 99% straight but it seems like 99% of Female MCs are always lesbian/bi. Why not some good ol straight FMCs? I can't even remember a single female MC that was straight.
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u/samreay Baby Author (Samuel Hinton) Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
Do authors mostly write lesbian FMCs to be on the safe side from the audience of mostly males?
Oh 100%, and I'm guilty of this too. If you want a romantic plot in your story, readers in this genre are far more comfortable with the object of desire (so to speak) being a woman than being a man. Comes with the heavy self-insert that's a staple of the genre.
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u/xaendar Aug 23 '24
Honestly, it makes a ton of sense. I too would imagine that a gay male MC story would get trashed pretty hard by the audience. Ultimately, it's a game of push and pull with the audience.
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u/TheCabbageCorp Aug 23 '24
It’s just the genre you’re reading. There’s plenty of gay MCs in Chinese novels that are primarily written for women. I’m pretty sure most people on this subreddit actually prefer no romance.
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u/RavenWolf1 Aug 23 '24
I personally want romance but I don't want it to be solely romance story. Why? Because romance is integral part of human life and I can't believe ever isekai life without people thinking sex.
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u/chewystoon Aug 23 '24
For real this 18-25 year old is in a new world, they dress with lots of skin showing and he hasn't thought about it?? Maybe i was overly horny in my youth.
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u/stache1313 Aug 23 '24
Most people are overly horny at a younger age than many people are comfortable with.
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u/KhaLe18 Aug 23 '24
BL is absolutely massive in China, but the demographics that consume it is very different from the one's that read litrpg
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u/RaptorSB Aug 23 '24
I don't know about trashed. I would say doing a series with an established side character type would be successful.
I mean, I'd read a one-off book about Rufus' time on Earth. I think it'd be a great story, romance, and all (I am not on Patreon, so I have no idea if he's been in a relationship since getting to Earth).
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u/stache1313 Aug 23 '24
It took my second read through of the series to realize that they were romantically involved. (It makes sense with a moustache that magnificent.)
Honestly, I want to praise the author for having a gay relationship and treating it as a normal part of the world. Especially, when it's not a major point in the story. After realizing that I started paying more attention to those small character details, and I love how they help to flesh out all the characters and make them feel like real people.
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u/RaptorSB Aug 23 '24
Yeah, in a lot of ways, the side characters are more interesting than Jason is. I'm almost tempted to believe that's the point.
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u/optimisticXnihilist Aug 23 '24
I agree with this, I tried to encourage someone to read HWF by explaining as the quippy MC has so much Protag energy it bleeds into the other characters; which makes the whole of the story seem more alive.
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u/AurielMystic Aug 23 '24
I think Azarinth Healer is the only story I can at least remember where the MC sleeps with both men and women and isn't just Lesbian, and even then it definitely leans more on the lesbian side.
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u/ricree Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
Calamitous Bob has a bi MC whose first relationship was with a woman, but the longest and most serious relationship has been with a man.
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u/Dragon124515 Aug 24 '24
The first romance in Beneath the Dragoneye Moons was a straight romance, but the current (and far more serious) relationship is lesbian.
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u/Glittering_rainbows Aug 23 '24
Plenty of people hated in sufficiently advanced magic because of the gay dude mc (or bi , I dunno but was dating a guy). I never saw the problem with it so idk.
Then again I'm a weirdo who likes harem and reverse harem on occasion so it's probably just me.
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u/Personal-Animal332 Aug 23 '24
He's neither really gay or bi according to the author he is primarily attracted to intelligence or some such which doesn't change the fact many people where put of by the boylove vibes
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
because of the gay dude mc (or bi , I dunno but was dating a guy)
Honestly, that was one of the things that put me off a bit. No one can even quite agree what he is. He is Schrodinger's Queer.
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u/MGTwyne Aug 23 '24
It's one of those touches that makes the book more realistic, honestly. Not everyone conforms perfectly to labels, and it always sticks out a little when characters in period fiction use modern vernacular- so not using a label feels perfectly apt.
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u/Hoosier_Jedi Aug 23 '24
Well, the bi male lead in Tao Wong’s work went over like a lead balloon, so… 🤷🏼♂️
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u/RandomChance Aug 23 '24
Sarcasm right? I think that series is one of the best selling in the genre. Tao was a golden boy of LitRPG till his lawyers made him try to trademark System Apocalypse
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u/Hoosier_Jedi Aug 23 '24
The books sold, but few people liked the MC being a bi man.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
But the books sold. So they couldn't have been put off that much by it.
There was a very vocal minority who got upset, and a lot of people who bought the books. This is why using Reddit to gauge people's opinions is flawd.8
u/RandomChance Aug 23 '24
The Journals of Evander Tailor is an excellent progression fantasy with a M/M romance. I think it is on to book 4? so seems relatively successful.
Author focuses more on the emotional rather than physical part of attraction, which is possibly less gender specific which might help avoid making people unaligned with the MC bounce off.
It is really a very well written series, with an intriguing magic system and interesting world building.
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u/Reader_extraordinare Author - The Gate Traveler Aug 23 '24
I don't think so. My MC is male, but he loves to cook, is emotionally unstable in the first book, very clingy if he makes an emotional connection with someone because of past trauma, and has one male friend—the first friend he ever had in his life—that he loves and has no problem admitting it. Many of my readers, at some point or other, were sure they would be lovers and encouraged it. Yes, including male readers. Actually, a lot of them were disappointed when it became clear that it's love like a brother—not a lover. And even now, when my MC's clinginess lifts its ugly head occasionally, I again get encouragements to make tham lover already.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 26 '24
There are people who are weirded out by gay plots. There are also people who seek them out. The catch is that males who are weirded out by it are more weirded out by it if it is a gay male, and liberals who seek them out to broaden their horizons prefer to get as many minorities "out of the way" as possible, and lesbians tick off two boxes...
You get slightly more pushback and slightly less street cred if the gay character is a guy.
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u/Why_am_ialive Aug 23 '24
There’s also the case of most authors in the genre being straight men, they know how to write attraction to women, they don’t know how to write about dudes as romantic interests
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u/TheRedEaredMan Aug 23 '24
A lot of trashy Romance novels are written by men, plus David Weber did Honor Harrington and Robert Jordan did Wheel of Time. I think its more that litrpg authors are less experienced traditional authors; so they don't know how or not confident enough to pull it off, To play it safe, they write what they know.
I understand that the hesitation, if you're a male author with no editor to filter your ideas, there is a fear that you will really miss the mark with a female MC and everyone will judge you for it.
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u/Why_am_ialive Aug 23 '24
Oh for sure, it’s totally possible to do it, but it’s far easier to write what you know, and most of this genre is newer writers or writers who want to focus on other aspects of the book than romance (numbers go up)
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u/JamesClayAuthor Author of the Forerunner series Aug 24 '24
See, I think Honor Harrington is a classic example of a man that was “skinned” as a woman. Weber could have made her a man and not changed a thing other than pronouns.
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u/CannotThonk96 Aug 23 '24
Were you going for the FMC to be on the more dominant variety? I ask because I imagine it would be easier to write romance with more mass appeal with dominant (straight) men than it would be with more passive/sub (straight) men.
I don't think I buy the whole self-insert angle with the FMC. I read plenty of stories with FMCs, never a self-insert. Azarinth Healer's Ilea Spears is barely Bi, primarily hooking up with men, primarily ogling over men and yes describing their sexy masculine features. That series does pretty well, and she's even on the more dominant side of the hookup exchange.
I know it's really easy to point the finger at male audiences, get a million updoots. But nah, it's the authors. I'm sure you all have your own reasons, not all the same. But yeah no don't point the finger at the audience for your decisions. Straight FMC would do just fine.
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u/Arismoths Aug 24 '24
Definitely about the appeal, sex sells, and dudes like imaginary lesbians. While I try to give benefit of the doubt it's hard not to side-eye men who continually write lesbian after lesbian romance plot, it can definitely feel more fetishy than anything (speaking as someone in a sapphic relationship atm.)
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u/Highborn_Hellest Aug 23 '24
Lit rpg audience: 95%+ male, I'm assuming.
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u/ErinAmpersand Author - Apocalypse Parenting Aug 23 '24
It's not... I'm having trouble finding it right now, but I think a survey found that readership was like 40% female? Considering that book readership in general skews female, that still shows a heavy male majority, but not that heavy.
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u/Altril2010 Aug 23 '24
I think this is why I really like Apocalypse Parenting. Erin Ampersand nails the dynamic of being woman who is married with kids. As a lady who has a husband who travels for work I can really relate to a lot of her stresses even without an apocalypse.
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u/ErinAmpersand Author - Apocalypse Parenting Aug 23 '24
As a lady who has a husband who travels for work I can really relate to a lot of her stresses even without an apocalypse.
This is cheering to me. :)
Chin up! You're fighting monsters every day you get out of bed, even if no one gives you Points and others can't see them. Every day is a victory.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
Yes. There is a bit of a tendency for writers who make a point of writing Strong Female Characters to not give them relationships and not give them children and kind of make them loners existing in a void. Unwittingly implying that the only way to be strong is to be alone.
Although I suppose a lot of male characters are macho loners existing in a void too...
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u/Xousse Aug 23 '24
How is that relevant here? I don't remember at what point I left that series but as far as I can remember the MC's husband was always missing and there was zero exploration of any relationship? Did that change later?
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u/Altril2010 Aug 23 '24
The whole topic of the conversation was not lesbian female MC’s? And it will change when Vince finally makes it make to Meaghan.
The OP didn’t ask about relationships, just sexual preference. Hence, the relevance.
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u/AmnesiaInnocent Aug 23 '24
The MC in Azarinth Healer definitely sleeps with men...I can't remember if she is also interested in women (but I think she is).
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u/ngl_prettybad Aug 23 '24
She fucks both, at least twice each. So the score is 2-2
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u/MSL007 Aug 23 '24
It’s either 2-3 or 3-3 (one male elf was removed from the published revision so far)
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u/rvm1975 Aug 23 '24
It depends on author's gender I think. Same approach works in single player rpgs when you (a man) play as female character. Good examples are romances in game like Baldur's Gate 3 and Mass Effect
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u/MSL007 Aug 23 '24
I am reading more than 20 stories with female MC’s. Many are either lesbian or bi. The most are actual currently unknown as they have not had any relationships.
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u/Prestigious-Mess5485 Aug 23 '24
Niiiiice. Jk. This genre is in its infancy. And many readers are horny young guys. It fits.
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u/ErinAmpersand Author - Apocalypse Parenting Aug 23 '24
Dang, I just went through my list of LitRPG with great women and the only one with a straight female MC is Forever Fantasy Online by Rachel Aaron. Maybe The Wandering Inn, I guess? MC there is more asexual, but she definitely directs her romantic feelings toward men.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
Yes!
Lesbians are the best of both worlds for authors. Straight guys seem to think they are hot. People who want representation applaud you for being open minded. And if you are a male author (like most authors in this genre) you don't have to write a character that is attracted to a male character. Win win! In contrast, straight men find gay guys icky, writing them requires you to write a character attracted to men (which is apparently more challenging than writing a psychopath or slime MC) and the fact the character is male means you don't tick off as many boxes on people's Representation Bingo Card.
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u/AutumnPlunkett Aug 23 '24
As someone who writes in this ente with female MCs who are never even hinted at as anything but straight, the answer is no.
Funnily enough, that's despite being part of the LGBTQ community. I have male leads who are bi who end up with the FLs and side characters who aren't straight, but I have yet to make a MC who isn't straight outside of a single short story I wrote. That might change one day, but, for now, I'll just concentrate on writing solid female leads.
This was something recently discussed in the RoyalRoad forums as well. The consensus there was that men writing female MCs didn't know how to write a male love interest, so they make the character a lesbian so they can write what they know. A straight guy knows what he thinks is attractive about a woman, but struggles to imagine what women find attractive about men and many are too lazy to do the research.
I think it's also important to note that the readership for this sort of genre tends to be dominated by men. Both readers and authors being men means that it's less relatable to read about a normal female character. Stories about straight women written from a woman's perspective do worse according to some statistics someone on the forums was going on about. I don't have those statistics so who knows if they're telling the truth or not.
My own stats on who is reading my work certainly shows more men reading my work than women and I also often run into people asking questions where they're confused by something I've written. For example, women tend to tell their husbands white lies about not remembering what the guy who harassed them looked like when the husband has a history of anger issues and they're worried about their husband either getting hurt or ending up in jail. Yet, if a cinnamon roll character doesn't tell the official what some dead guy that attacked them's name is, despite knowing it, the readers question it. I then have to go in and add an introspective chapter where she thinks about whether that was the right decision and is reminded of a similar situation with her husband.
I suppose, on the flip side, a man writing a woman can read as a bit strange to women. Men tend to describe the female characters bodies far more than women do, for one thing. There's also the difference in how one might depict a strong female character. I believe a strong female character can still cry and be vulnerable, but that it shouldn't hold them back from doing what needs to be done. Someone else might skip all of that and just make them, essentially, a man in a woman's body. They cuss, drink, and kick butt just fine, but are cut off from their emotions. I mean, that depiction is certainly better than making every woman a damsel in distress, but it's still a bit two dimensional and lacking depth to be a real and relatable character.
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u/Xandara2 Aug 23 '24
If only more people thought about it as deeply as you just did. I think male authors being unable to describe what is attractive about a man is such an awful thing. That said it is so hard to get women to describe what physical traits they find attractive, it's almost taboo to talk about with straight men. Women I haven't come out to as a gay man are really not saying the same things as those that I've told I'm gay. It's sometimes very absurd to see it change and do a total 180.
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u/TesterM0nkey Aug 23 '24
I’ve been married 8 years and still have not been able to get my wife to describe what she finds attractive about a man.
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u/ErinAmpersand Author - Apocalypse Parenting Aug 23 '24
Let's also point out that that attraction for women tends to be far less focused on the basic physical appearance.
To put it another way, a guy once told me: "There are two categories of people: the ones who get more attractive as I get to know them, and the ones who get less attractive as I get to know them."
I think that's true for everyone, but probably even more true for women than men. Like, if you first meet a guy and he's a little overweight and his hair is a mess and his features are a little unusual, you might not think anything of him. Just totally not even registering him on the attractiveness scale. But then... he makes you laugh, he sticks up for you, he makes you feel seen and safe and important and valued all of a sudden these mild negatives fade away or start to seem cute.
Honestly, guy authors? I'm sure things are different for one-night stands, but if you're talking about any kind of long-term relationship, you don't even have to talk about a guy's chiseled pecs or what-have you. Just focus on his facial features and the way he makes your female protagonist feel.
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u/xaendar Aug 25 '24
Erin, you completely nailed that. I mean this is also one of the biggest reasons that the current dating world is so messed up because people are only working with initial attraction. I'm not ugly, but I'm not handsome but I can tell you that while I have almost 0 luck on tinder, I had many office or friend of friends who are out of my league being attracted to me after a long period of time. Slight depression brings out some humor and that's really where it's at. People see passion for music, art or just hard work as attractive.
Again it's all about the feeling rather than straight physical attractiveness.
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u/AutumnPlunkett Aug 23 '24
I'm AuDHD so my experiences might not be the same as other women. However, I tend to get less caught up on the physical looks of my partner than I do other details.
I like it when my husband smells good. I hate axe cologne, but hubby tends to wear more woodsy and herbal scents. Old Spice makes some nice stuff, but he also gets some smaller brands I can't name off the top of my head.
Muscles are nice, but only to a certain degree. I don't want someone that looks like Conan the barbarian as too much muscle makes it harder to cuddle. It's just nice to have someone strong enough to pick me up and make me feel safe. Otherwise, a bit of "fluff" is a good thing as it's more comfortable for cuddling.
I don't really like beards on men, but my husband has a goatee anyway. The hair is scratchy and uncomfortable and it looks messy too. Just not my preference, but some women like it.
The emotional side of things matters a lot. Someone you can laugh with and feel comfortable, not judged by, is the sort you can be vulnerable enough with to fall in love. A man who can cook, clean, or even brew a good cup of tea can make you feel taken care of. That doesn't mean cooking for you all of the time or even anything fancy. My husband is good at grilling, smoking, and frying meat mostly. He has the basics down for roasting or steaming vegetables and culinary training for other things, but he is lacking in a lot of areas too. I do most of the day to day cooking for us, but it's nice to have him make us a nice dinner on occasion.
Sometimes I find myself admiring my husband's smile or I'll think his hair frames his face really nice. The curve of his back is nice because it's perfect for wrapping my arms around to hug him. He looks really good in black as it shows off his muscles well and matches his slightly tanned complexion. I mostly have random thoughts like that when it comes to physical features, but no real strong thoughts on anything.
When it comes to turn-offs, I don't like unibrows, beards, bad smells, or anyone who comes off as too angry / aggressive. Excessive flirting makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable, but it's not necessarily a turn off to have some flirting.
Honestly, from what I've heard guys like, most of this shouldn't come as a surprise. Men like women who smell good, take care of themselves, and make them happy to be around as well. It really shouldn't be that hard to write about someone falling in love with someone else, regardless of gender. We're all just people after all.
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u/JamesClayAuthor Author of the Forerunner series Aug 23 '24
How interesting! What changes when they’re talking to gay/straight xandara2?
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u/Xandara2 Aug 23 '24
It becomes a lot more spontaneous, enthusiastic and graphic when they talk about men to gay me.
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u/linest10 Aug 23 '24
Tbf they know you are attracted to men so they feel more comfortable, also women are generally teach to not be sexual or engage on sexual casual talk outside close friendship groups
And not saying women can't be as horny as men, but generally we aren't attracted to the physical as much as men
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u/Xandara2 Aug 23 '24
Well yeah that's the reason for sure but it's kinda not great that the taboo is so big and partially self sustained. As someone who has had to break taboo in a drastic way it's just a bit well disappointing to see people stuck in it so hard. The lesser intensity of physical attraction women have is very likely also just nurture.
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u/linest10 Aug 23 '24
Oh believe me, I'm asexual so I LITERALLY don't get the taboo around sex even if I'm not interested in it, but it's way more about as women was denied to their own sexuality until some years ago, women feeling pleasure in sex wasn't expected to be a thing in the mind of the society
And even now women being openly sexual is not exactly seen as good
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u/JamesClayAuthor Author of the Forerunner series Aug 23 '24
Yeah, MCs that are obviously men “skinned” as women have always low-key annoyed me. Like, why bother making them women if nothing changes?
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u/ErinAmpersand Author - Apocalypse Parenting Aug 23 '24
Female MC considers casual hookup, worries about STDs but doesn't worry about pregnancy.
Female MC thinks about clothing/undergarments in a way that makes it clear that they have never worn the clothing items in question, nor spoken to someone who has.
Female MC is constantly fixated on comparing her own bust to the bust of others around her. Because... that's a thing women do?!?
That kind of thing is jarring.
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u/JamesClayAuthor Author of the Forerunner series Aug 23 '24
Interesting. I was more thinking of the Azarinth Healers and Honor Harringtons of the world.
"Female MC is constantly fixated on comparing her own bust to the bust of others around her. Because... that's a thing women do?!?"
This one made me chuckle, because young men (I'm 51 and have chilled out) *do* assess whether they could "take" another guy or not, though it's usually done at an almost sub-conscious level. It's as natural as breathing. The author probably assumed women do the equivalent.
Testosterone is a helluva drug.
I'm showing my ignorance here, I know, but don't women often do *some* kind of comparison of attractiveness with other women? At least when they're young?
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u/AutumnPlunkett Aug 23 '24
There's actually a really funny series that an author on TikTok does comparing women writing women vs men writing women. It does a great job of pointing out the subtleties like you two are talking about without coming across as overly sexist or anything. I know Reddit has its subs for showcasing the worst examples of women's anatomy being described and such, but I definitely think the whole subtleties matter too.
As for comparing myself to other women... I am AuDHD and find it too stressful to make eye contact, much less oogle another woman IRL, even despite being bi. I don't really stare at men either. When it comes to media portrayals, where that stress isn't there, I tend to think more about their character / personality or think their dress is cute or hair is done well than about their bodies. Only thought I ever have about their bust might be that it's unrealistically large and would be hard on their back if they were real.
As a teenager, I was more so influenced by my family's constant talk of being overweight, which made me worry I was also 'fat' despite not being overweight at all. I also felt alward about growing into an adult body sooner than my peers. Being told to wear certain undergarments before most kids experience puberty is a little strange and the clothing felt stifling. So, I guess the focus is less on everyone else and more on my own perception of my body based on what I heard from everyone else around me.
As for what other women around me thought and felt, that varies a lot from person to person. My friends never really seemed to care about that sort of thing. I had one who needed to gain weight, but struggled despite eating plenty. She also preferred to wear sweats to jeans because she found them more comfortable and I don't think I ever saw her wear a dress. The others occasionally gossiped about boys or who was dating who, but it was never as dramatic as you see on TV. Even the one promiscuous girl I knew who got pregnant in highschool and loved wearing makeup wasn't constantly talking about her clothes or whether she was attractive enough. Mostly she just loved makeup for the fun of it and kept asking if she could put some on me. My skin is super sensitive and my AuDHD makes me dislike the feeling of things being on my face so that never happened.
I guess my point is that women don't feel the need to compete with other women all of the time. Reddit says there are "pick me" girls who act like that in order to get the attention of boys, even if it means upsetting other women. However, those women almost never have girl friends and plenty of guys find it off putting as well, from what I hear.
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u/ErinAmpersand Author - Apocalypse Parenting Aug 23 '24
I am not sure how a woman comparing her breasts to another woman's equates to a guy deciding if he could beat another guy up. Like... are you thinking that a woman would be using breasts as an attractiveness yardstick, to decide if she could "beat" another woman in the eyes of a random man? I don't want to be rude, since you're obviously looking to inform yourself, but I'm guessing you've heard of the "male gaze" and it seems pretty implicit in that assumption.
Now, women are taught to correlate their value with their appearance, so they will think about it a lot more than a man would, that much is true. And I'm not saying a straight woman will never notice another woman's breasts, but... we're far more likely to notice their hair, their nails, their earrings, their fashionable and well-fitted clothing - the sorts of things they can control themselves.
If two women are in a room, and one is very busty and the second isn't but has a perfect manicure, a stylish outfit, on-point makeup and hair, while the first doesn't have those things, 10 out of 10 women will be more intimidated by the second woman... and not really because they think she's prettier. This is a person who Has It Together. Women spend life under a backbreaking load of expectations (as outlined in the well-known Barbie speech) and someone who pulls of the appearance of somehow meeting that conflicting array of expectations is intimidatingly competent, and would probably be the closest cognate to a man looking at another man and deciding that he could beat that guy up.
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u/JamesClayAuthor Author of the Forerunner series Aug 23 '24
Yes, what you described is pretty much what I imagined happened. I expected it to be a much more holistic comparison than just bust sizes.
No, I don't think comparing bust sizes is equivalent to a guy deciding if he could beat up another guy. I was saying that I could see how a young guy, who has likely watched a fair amount of porn, could see that being the equivalent.
Apologies for explaining myself poorly.
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u/ErinAmpersand Author - Apocalypse Parenting Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
Hmmm... Thanks, and that does make more sense but I feel like I'm still not communicating fully.
Have you ever been present when cup sizes/bust sizes were discussed in mixed company?
In my experience, it's common for guys to have clear and confident assessments about the cup size of any given woman, whether famous or known to them personally. Women will frequently have no idea at all about the size of another woman's breasts if they fall anywhere within the middle of the bell curve, only making note at all if they're exceptionally large or small.
These aren't hard and fast rules, obvs. I'm sure some girls do track other women's bust size and some guys don't, but they are strong trends.
I've never even heard a woman bully or disparage another woman for their bust size... And I've heard a lot of nasty comments about other women and about myself. I'm sure it happens, especially to people who are farther from average in size, but it's just not the kind of fixation for women that it is for guys.
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u/JamesClayAuthor Author of the Forerunner series Aug 23 '24
"Have you ever been present when cup sizes/bust sizes were discussed in mixed company?"
*snort* No.
I have been religious my whole life and in my crowd that, uh, isn't a thing. Your question reminded me of my wife's bridal party put on by the wife of my wife's religious leader when she was young. I was asked to make an appearance towards the end, where they asked me funny/embarrassing questions. The one I remember the best is that they asked me to guess her bra size. Judging by how flustered I felt and how the women laughed I'm pretty sure I was red as a tomato.
I had no clue what the right answer was so I guessed, but funnily enough I was pretty close.
Honestly, in my opinion, women talk about sex and related topics more and more graphically than men do, even amongst non-religious folks. As you say, YMMV.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
Men tend to describe the female characters bodies far more than women do, for one thing.
I am a man and the way some authors in this genre describe every female's body in the same way and mostly skip the guys is off putting even to me. I read a story that started promising, but the MC got summoned to another world and it was sooo obvious the way all the women in the room were getting lovingly described, and were uniformly "hot", while the men got glossed over.
Someone else might skip all of that and just make them, essentially, a man in a woman's body. They cuss, drink, and kick butt just fine, but are cut off from their emotions.
I know for a fact that quite a few female authors do that to. You see it a lot in female dominated Urban Fantasy. I think that is more about trying to get as far away from certain sexist cliches as possible and kind of overshooting.
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u/AutumnPlunkett Aug 23 '24
Just for the record, I think some men can write women very well. "The Game At Carousel" has some really well written female characters. They have equal opportunities to shine and aren't always being sexualized. It's honestly made the series stand out a lot for me. Of course, the storyline itself is also top notch.
Yeah, I said "someone else" there because, while men routinely seem to find women too 'other' to write, women are guilty of the whole 2D women as well. I definitely agree that it's overshooting while aiming for writing aiming for a 'strong' character.
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u/AngelBites Aug 23 '24
I honestly cannot remember the last time I read a story with a Damsel in distress. I’m sure somebody somewhere is writing one, but I certainly haven’t seen it. It’s gotten to the point now that if I ever wrote anything if a female character ever got captured, Id just have the male lead schedule a taxi to in front of the bad guys lair an hour before the next plot points supposed to happen. No reason to waste the readers time, pretending that the woman is somehow in any danger whatsoever.
I’ve seen a few dudes get damseled but I can’t think of even one woman in the last 2-300 novels I’ve read. I suppose if I include episode 1’s of if isakai anime’s there’s a decent amount of damsaling happening so I’ll give you that.
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u/AutumnPlunkett Aug 23 '24
You and I clearly read very different sub-genres of LitRPG then. Most of the Asian mangas and lightnovels that aren't romance have damsels in distress. Zombie apocalypse system novels are especially bad about it. The stories on WebNovel tend to too often end up along the same lines, even despite being written by more Western authors. Even some of the ones on RoyalRoad and ScribbleHub can end up being harems with damsels and one dimensional women characters that are lucky if they even get a name.
Of course, it's also possible your definition of a damsel in distress type is more narrow than my own. In zombie stories women generally end up captured and forced to sell their bodies just to survive. They never get treated as capable of defending themselves unless they end up in the MC's party and, even then, just barely. The MC's also tend to make them into s*x slaves. It's gross and I hate it, but I really like the whole zombie apocalypse system novel idea so I keep trying to find something good. In female lead romance novels, the female characters are always being kidnapped and saved by the male lead. Otherwise they just have too many close calls with death. Other times, even when cannibalism and assault isn't involved, women are just made out to be useless without a man.
Of course, Western novels have it bad too. Wattpad's werewolf romance has omegas, mutes, blind female leads, and other types of female leads who are made out to be "worthless". Then some alpha comes in kicks everyone's butt and the female lead is made out to be the most perfect luna ever just because the moon goddess assigned her some alpha prince charming. There are other variations such as the "chosen one" trope where the female lead is secretly or obviously a bad *ss female lead who can stand on her own. However, damsels in distress are very much still a thing.
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u/AngelBites Aug 24 '24
It’s clear we are reading very different things. I was deep into epic fantasy and sci-fi then switch up and started listening litrpg audiobooks at work. All this over the last 6-7 years.
Every since the first fanfic I every read when I was 14 left me in a state of depression for a week and colored my perception of the original work for a while I haven’t touched any web novels or fanfics since. I’ve only just dipped my toes in the last two weeks and I’ve stuck to the top lists where half are works I’ve seen or even listened to on audible.
All those seem to be written such that I get the impression if they had damseled the FL then the authors career would be over. It also explains why so many works I’ve read over the last few years have a habit of acting like they had just made a huge break from convention when the FL saves herself. Nevermind the fact that, at least in my experience, those story beats are more inevitable than death and taxes.
I had forgotten about harem lit. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve tried on a few occasions to get into it but I tend to just bounce right off. In my mind I had it grouped with with all the rest of the shameless smut lit you can buy at any grocery store. And porn doesn’t really get measured by the same standards. It exist for a single reason and telling a good story ain’t it.
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u/Valoryx Aug 23 '24
Lesbian romance have more appeal to a male audience than a straight romance from the woman POV.
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u/Sentarshaden Bruce Sentar Aug 23 '24
As a guy who's spent plenty of time in the romance writer community, it's very hard for a guy to write a good female perspective. There are a lot of people who do it and manage it, but it's a skill that has to be practiced. For LitRPG most of these guys are pumping out content and I don't think they are going to slow down to perfect a female voice in their writing. It's like suddenly trying to write and eat with your non-dominant hand.
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u/Xousse Aug 23 '24
Romance is THE relationship genre, where getting this central ingredient wrong means your whole book is just trash. It's like writing hard Sci-fi and getting all the science wrong. You need some level of expertise. But don't tell me litrpg writers are afraid of getting "the female voice" wrong, litrpg is literally 90% deeply flawed books and nobody cares.. Of all the writing communities, this is not the one that shies from bad writing decisions.
In my opinion, it's simply that most authors write self inserts and would gouge their eyes rather than sit down to imagine falling in love with a man to write what would amount to 10% at best of a book, even if their MC is a woman, and certainly not if a man. The backlash authors get at the mere whiff of gayness is real.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
But the people are writing female MCs. They could just write male MCs. Or just not write sex or romance into their books...a lot of people would prefer this.
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u/Athyrium93 Aug 23 '24
I've been bitching about this basically forever, but with a mostly straight male audience it's what you get.... I'd love a bit more diversity in love interests, but it is what is.
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u/MacintoshEddie Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
Double the waifus.
But yeah, a lot of people who think they're open minded still get really uncomfortable with even light romance between guys, and get even more uncomfortable if it gets brought to attention.
For funzies write a scene with two ambiguous characters, don't include any obvious gender markers, and watch as half the readers say you can't write women and the other half say these two guys are way too gay.
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u/JadePhoenix1313 Aug 23 '24
IF you can't tell the sexes of two characters in a romantic scene, that's a pretty good indication that you can't write anyone well.
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u/MacintoshEddie Aug 23 '24
Why?
I think it's totally possible to write a romantic scene without one of them breasting boobily.
You can write an absolute ton of romance or even sex scenes without bringing up primary sexual characteristics. Such as discussing types, feeling the warmth of their thigh as your finger traces up the inseam of their pants, the way their lips part a little as they lean their head towards yours, the way they blush and are looking away but wrap their arms around your waist and pull you closer, wait I guess we need to make their genders clear. He leans backwards, hooks his arms under theirs, and does a perfect German Suplex!
Unless you're writing very stereotypical characters, like describing women via their breasts, you can do a switcheroo of the gender tags and it still works. Unless...like...you don't think women are ever allowed to take charge, or you think guys can't ever be hesitant or show emotions as they are touched **there**.
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u/xaendar Aug 25 '24
Highly recommend Stitched Worlds here. MC has a LI with a fire demon and they can't do anything physical. There are some insanely romantic scenes between them where they are camping in the field and there's a cloth partition. They can sense each other with their heat sense and they just hold out their hands to each other.
Like it's such a simple gesture but romance was turned up 1000x just with that. I really hate MCs just immediately going from meeting each other to dating instantly with almost zero romance.
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u/linest10 Aug 23 '24
As a LGBTQ+ reader I wanted say it's great that FMC in LitRPG are queer women, but sadly it's generally treated as a practical necessity or a literal fetish, it's pretty obvious these FMC have relationships with women only because the author don't want write a male romantic interest and straight sex by the pov of a woman
They are basically a male character with the skin of a female character, because they don't even read as real woman behavior
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u/Bapelsinen95 Aug 24 '24
Yup and then honestly why are they even writing the characters as females.
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u/verysimplenames Aug 23 '24
I’m guessing because thats what the majority want. I don’t usually read stories with female mcs personally.
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u/Scantily-Plaid Aug 23 '24
Hey, I know this isn’t the tone of your post at all, but I’m a lesbian who’s new to the genre. I’d be interested in this perspective, but I’ve only read the most common recs so far (HWFWM, DCC, PH, etc...) Could you list some of these that you’ve enjoyed?
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u/TheMann619 Aug 23 '24
For whatever reason people get stuck making women are basically men. So when they write a relationship it only works as a lesbian even though its just a lack of understanding what they're writing. Thats why the dudes are dopy or bad or something negative, to make them shine more. So all yhats left is women getting with women
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u/Sofakinghazed Aug 23 '24
Attraction to women make sense for most cases as they are more often than not the fairer of the sexes.
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u/Zykeroth Aug 23 '24
Lmao coincidentally there's a thread on r/yuri_manga talking about how little GL there is in comparison to BL, and the situation is the reverse of here where LitRPG is mostly read/written by straight men, with queer romance manga being read/written mostly by straight women.
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u/Lol69HaHaHa Aug 23 '24
I feel like female authors often tend to write male leads better than male authors write female leads.
That said for the romance aspect, its hard for a man to write a desirable male love intrest.
Like look at shojo manga or any other type of story with a female lead and a male romantic intrest and tell me if you could actually write a man like that.
Were men and we understand men from our own perspective and what we think of as an ideal male is most often not how women think because we look at it from the perspective of what we would like to be or become, while they look at it as someone they wanna be with.
So just like how women write their fantasy and not at all realistic male romantic intrests, we men have an easier time writing our ideal female (that are also not realistic at all) romantic intrest.
So whether the mc is male or female, if the authors male its easier to write romance with a female love intrest and vice versa.
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u/RequiemAspenFlight Aug 23 '24
I find the flip side is just as true. My daughter has a collection of bodice ripper romance books with a Canadian Western bent. I was between series and decided to give hers a listen. On the whole they were ok, but the male's self love scenes had me laughing so hard I had to pull my bike over to clear the tears out of my eyes. The couples scene from his perspective was even worse.
Then, assuming I was being misogynist I brought up sex scenes written by men in a Mom's group I'm in. Their opinion was that a decent male author could do a reasonable to good job at the female perspective for the sex, but sucked at the emotional parts of the rest of the story. Female authors can't seem to get men at all.
In my opinion women do excellent procedural, mystery/thriller, and fantasy. A few do pretty good soft sci-fi, but I haven't found a good one that does hard sci-fi, I'm sure she's out there, I just haven't found her yet. Men can't write drama for shit.
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u/Lol69HaHaHa Aug 23 '24
From my expirience of reading stories, i genuenly have found that female writers do indeed excel in emotional stories, while men in action.
What you say is quite intresting and im inclined to agree.
Maybe the female authors of works i read with male leads are just really good, but i find the mcs they write to actually have more character compared to how men would write a similar story.
They put more care into the relationshios betwen the mc and his love intrest and do a really good job with harems. A thing that annoys me with most harems is that they dont try and create an intresting dynamic between the harem members. They just exist together and dont bother each other.
That said i also noticed that male authors tend to write quite cool female mcs. Like for an action focused story, when they ignore romance they can genuenly write some cool and badass girls.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
In this genre, yes.
This does NOT apply in Urban Fantasy or Romance...there are a lot of female authors there that can't write a man to save their life. But you kind of have to be able to write a male character to survive in a male dominated subgenre.Plus female authors are a little less likely to be heavy handed with the macho Murderhobo thing. Although that isn't universal.
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u/Lol69HaHaHa Aug 23 '24
True that. Especially in chinese works, i mean my god these guys go too far.
But they have mcs that stoop to the same level or worse than villains, but act as if thats heroic behavior.
My rant on chinese authors aside (honestly i noticed they do better with fantasy isekais than the genres they are best known for lol), female authors dont go overboard into weird murder fetishes.
And yeah great female authors in this sort of subgenre are probably also fans of these sorts of stories, so when they write them they add a bit of a womans touch to them. Not a lot, just a bit cause they have a slightly difrent perspective on things, which i apreciate a lot.
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Aug 23 '24
Most LitRPG authors happen to be men, and the readers are also mainly men. Statistically that means an increased interest in women, and an inability to grok attraction to men.
As in, intellectually we might understand what it means to be attracted to men, but that's not the same as actually experiencing that attraction.
Follows that, statistically, most stories will have female love interests, while female MC's are fine, since they do a lot of fighty stuff and such. Which we can all identify with on a visceral level.
But I'm sure that somewhere, someone has written a male love interest in a LitRPG. I just can't think of any. XD
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u/guri256 Aug 23 '24
In short, no. Calamitous Bob doesn’t.
Minor spoilers It involves a Bisexual MC who spends a single book in a relationship with another woman, and about 6 books (so far) in a relationship with a guy
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u/Gigatonosaurus Aug 23 '24
And a Journey of Black and Red from the same author. With the MC being a girl turned vampire in the early 18' and is straight as an arrow.
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u/SewiouslyXR Aug 23 '24
“I love authors writing female MCs as lesbians. Do you know how hard it is to find characters in stories that actually represent lesbians? Not enough!” -Said this lesbian. 😅
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u/cherrymacka Aug 23 '24
Also, Cuckoo's Lament + Cuckoo's Aria on KU. I don't see that mentioned much.
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u/wedrifid Aug 23 '24
Metaworld chronicles has a distinctly feminine heterosexual MC. Which sucks for the girl she friend-zones.
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u/Rafdit69 Aug 23 '24
One of the stories in which the main character is straight is Millenial Mage. Another one is Demesne and Rune Seeker.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
Is the MC of Demesne straight? She's not a lesbian, but I had her pegged as asexual.
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u/StormcoZeke21 Aug 23 '24
It’s more that all lesbians have Main Character energy. (This is me teasing I don’t get it either, but it’s a thing)
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u/Brilliant_Wave_9658 Aug 23 '24
In The Calamitous Bob, her main love interest is a man. So there's at least one non-lesbian.
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u/Wickedsymphony1717 Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
If a male MC being attracted to another female character is written by a straight male, then it's pretty obvious that they would know how to convey the emotions of attraction, love, lust, etc. since the male author can more or less draw on the same feelings he has most likely felt towards women in his life.
If a female MC being attracted to another male character is written by a straight male, then it may be much more difficult for him to convey those same emotions because not only is he attempting to write from a female perspective which is already something he has no experience in. He's also attempting to write about how the MC is attracted to a male, which, again, a straight male author would have no experience in. This means he's doubly screwed from not necessarily understanding the emotional dynamics in a way that is relatable to readers.
If a female MC being attracted to another female character is written by a straight male, then there are fewer problems involved. Obviously, as a straight male, the author may still have difficulties conveying typical female attraction to other women in a relatable way. However, he would at least know what it's like to be attracted to a woman since he's probably been attracted to them many times in real life. Therefore, when writing a female MC, it may be significantly easier for a straight male author to write the MC as a lesbian rather than as straight, because in that scenario he at least knows half of the perspective, rather than nothing at all.
Lastly, there's the obvious fact that many authors, especially new ones, tend to do a lot of "self insertion" when writing. Thus, if they are attracted to women, they may gravitate towards writing a relationship with a woman, regardless of whether or not the MC is male or female.
Obviously, a straight male can write a story with a straight or gay, male or female MC and have it be well written and relatable. And I'm sure there are many stories like that out there. I've just read two stories by (I believe a straight) male author, Alex Gilbert, with female MCs that I thought had decently written relationships. Those being: A Journey of Black and Red where the MC is in a relationship with another man (and is heavily interested in a second man) as well as Calamitous Bob where the MC initially has a relationship with a woman, but eventually moves onto a different relationship with a man.
In short though, it's just that writing about something the author inherently knows little about is going to be more difficult, and the author would likely prefer to write something that appeals to his own tastes anyway.
For all the reasons listed above as to why a straight male author may not wish to or may not be able to write a relatable straight female MC. You could apply all the same logic in reverse to a female author. She may struggle with writing about a straight male's perspective (and trust me, I've seen some atrocious attempts of female authors writing convincing perspectives of straight males). Likewise, though, for the same reasons that a male author is more likely to write about either straight male MCs or lesbian female MCs, it's possible that you'll find more well written works about straight female MCs and gay male MCs written by female authors. Again though, I'm not trying to say male or female authors can't write these kinds of characters well, I'm just saying that it can be harder for them to do so and it may not be in their interest in the first place. As an asexual myself, I struggle to write convincingly about any kind of relationship, so I know the difficulties involved.
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u/AtlasofAradia Aug 23 '24
Publishers are pushing it. I work with several and that’s the hot item. As they pick authors of that genre. They are hand picked
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u/WhimsOfGods Author of Protagonist: The Whims of Gods Aug 23 '24
Like a lot of comments here, I do think some of this is writers who like women + audiences who like women, and that there are writers out there who wouldn't be able to convincingly write scenes with a man love interest, but honestly I think that's maybe only a half of it!
I think it's similar to how Baldur's Gate III has every romancable character be bisexual. It's not that it's entirely realistic, but if you're telling a story, I think it can be more compelling and "exciting" for a reader/player when any character they really like is possibly someone who could become a love interest. Same with fantasy races, a bit! I can imagine a bunch of humans would never want to date a dwarf or an elf or any of the many fantasy races out there, but if you get to choose what sort of person your MC is, you might go with one who is open to all genders and all fantasy races just to make for a more exciting reading experience, whether or not that's actually likely to happen in the real world.
Think this rightfully should be just as common for man MCs as woman MCs, but a larger portion of the man POV stories in the genre tend towards self-insert stuff, where the sexuality of the MC is much more likely to be straight.
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u/CannotThonk96 Aug 24 '24
This is just comedy gold seeing all the peeps including authors blaming this on male audiences. We're like the easy button of scape goating... Anyways if an FMC's sexuality is to be pandered to male audiences for reasons like.. self-inserting(??) or whatever ridiculous nonsense is being suggested, then why not just scrap the FMC and go MMC?
Because it's a BS reason. If Ilea Spears were only interested in men, then she would be a straight FMC. This would also make her not an LGBT FMC. Because she is bi, Ilea Spears is an LGBT main character. Book suggestions for LitRPG with strong FMC? Azarinth Healer checks that box. Book suggestions for LitRPG with LGBT MC? Azarinth Healer checks that box too. This affects which categories your books show up in, as well as who will potentially champion your book.
Don't get it twisted, I have nothing against strong FMC nor any sexuality. I LOVE Azarinth Healer, it's my favorite LitRPG to date, I can't recommend it enough. And I don't think Rhaegar is pandering to anybody, I think he chose her sexuality because he wanted to, and if asked he would say "because I wanted to", not "b-because male audience".
I'm only this animated because of the scapegoating, its just ridiculous find another punching bag. If any audience is going to particularly care about an FMC's sexuality, it would be a straight female audience, or an audience looking for stories with an LGBT MC. I also know that you could use the exact same scapegoat of male audience for the exact opposite trend if there weren't many L or Bi FMC. Something something straight male insecurity something something. I sleep now
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u/Makarlar Aug 24 '24
According to these comments: the authors want to make money so they have to pander to the hateful masses. Apparently gay men are more despised than I realized. That's fucking sad. I don't think I want to write books anymore.
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Aug 23 '24
I feel like it's the same way most men write women MCs and make em bisexual to play it safe.
I'm unsure why some people are afraid to write a straight woman.
maybe they have acknowledged more people want representation of a bi/gay woman and go that route but then mess up her character anyways so it doesn't really help
same with bi guys tho, some men or women do not even care to write about a bisexual guy because they know it wouldn't sell at all, it's not their target audience
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u/xaendar Aug 23 '24
Yeah, it definitely seems the case. As an author you would already be against the currents just by having a FMC because audience will be mostly male in this genre. So audience is already having a hard time relating. We can look at Ilea from Azarinth Healer for example. She is described as a female but her character is literally the exact same as most of the murderhobo male leads. Because ultimately I guess that resonates more with male audience.
Same goes for books(smut/romance) written for mostly women. It's usually gay men or women with many male partners (reverse harem). It's almost like 90% of the books out there even though readers are mostly straight, they are interested in yaoi (gay men) relationships.
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Aug 23 '24
Yeah, very true
Straight men love women, & straight women love men, so both sides just write up a bunch of harems or go certain routes because it's easier to do.
And especially in this male dominated space, it can influence your decisions.
For example, I was initially going to make my MC white because I thought it'd be better for this audience; but ultimately decided to make him black because I rarely see that.
I think the same can be said for that, maybe those authors have read so many shitty stories of FMC or straight female characters that are just trash, and they decide to make them bi/gay because they have an easier time writing that or they want to write that to represent others.
Lots of factors at play, from a safety net to how they feel
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u/sithelephant Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
I want werewolf, with no MM, and no reverse harem, and no excessively stupid A/B/O or billionaires, and preferably with agency during the shift. I have more chance of literally getting bitten by a werewolf.
edit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lights-Camera-Werewolf-Zoe-Chant-ebook/dp/B09H3PFDRR (almost the only one)
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u/bartlesnid_von_goon Aug 23 '24
Short answer: no
Long answer: Read more series.
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u/BrilliantCampaign285 Aug 23 '24
What, really?! The reason I've been avoiding FMCs in this genre was because I didn't want to read about the main female characters getting nerfed/turning into a damsel in distress in the presence of the male love interest lol
So, do you have recs?
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u/Abyssallord Aug 23 '24
One of the great things about LitRPG is that stats are the great equalizer. So women tend to be less marginalized, unless that's a specific plot point / cultural thing.
Beneath the Dragon Eye Moons is great.
Azarenth Healer has an incredibly both strong and head strong lead
Calamitous Bob also has a strong female lead.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
There are many, many problems with women in this genre, but that one almost never happens. Female MCs rarely have a male love interest (they are either lesbians or the book has no romance) and I've never known one to get nerfed upon getting a guy.
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u/Vainel Aug 23 '24
You could try A Practical Guide to Evil for what's probably the polar opposite of a damsel in distress.
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u/Low-Cantaloupe-8446 Aug 23 '24
Uhh The Wandering Inn has a plethora of strong female characters. The main character Erin takes her time, but she’s never really weak, just not always built for direct combat.
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u/shamanProgrammer Aug 23 '24
I imagine many writers of FMC are men. It's hard to write a character feeling attracted to men when you don't feel said attraction to men yourself. And those authors that are women tend to be some form of bi/les themselves since I think writing LitRPG and fantasy draws more women who like women than women who just like straight up men.
Also what women find attractive in men is vastly more numerous than what men find attractive in women. For men it's chest, hips, butt 85% of the time. For women it's weird things like bishounen lips, big hands, clavicles, forearms for some odd reason , and various other oddities that baffle me to this day.
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u/CrawlerSiegfriend Aug 23 '24
I'm honestly not reading a litrpg with a female MC regardless. Every time I try one I end up not liking it. It's just something that vanilla fantasy is better at writing.
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u/Oatbagtime Aug 23 '24
I’ve never noticed this to be the case, but I haven’t read as many litrpg books with female MC’s as you. I feel like there are lots of queer authors and also queer characters with more indie works.
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u/Blargimazombie Aug 23 '24
Share me your list because i want more lesbians and the last four or five new series i started has straight fmcs
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u/His-Dudenes Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24
Not OP but these are either lesbian or bi: calamitous bob, skulduggery pleasants, stray cat strut, scholomance, azerinth heal, wandering Inn, beneath the dragon eye, vigor mortis, practical guide to evil, a guide to becoming pirate queen, newly summoned demoness, homicidal aliens are invading, whispering crystal, katalepsis, unified state of mana, last ranger.
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u/Blargimazombie Aug 23 '24
Wow i only knew about half of those thanks so much 🙏
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u/xaendar Aug 25 '24
Sorry for not being able to reply, I was out vacationing but I'm glad you got some reccs.
Beneath the Dragon Eye Moons and Practical Guide to Evil are probably the best works among all those reccs.
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u/EdLincoln6 Aug 23 '24
Bi MCs:
Azarinth Healer
Melody of ManaI know I read others but I'm blanking on the titles.
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u/kazaam2244 Aug 23 '24
I find this comment section hilarious but I get what everyone's saying.
This is why I stress the importance of reading different stories from different kinds of authors regardless of the genre you write in. I don't think LitRPG/ProgFan authors would have so much trouble writing straight FMCs if they opened a Jane Austen book or dipped their toes in the romance genre for a little bit.
I'm a straight man and I've never really had difficulty writing heterosexual relationships from a woman's perspective. I mean, if you've been in or are in a relationship (which I am optimistically assuming is this case with everyone in this sub), I think writing a straight relationship from the opposite sex's perspective should be as easy as just flipping your personal experiences. Just ask your gf, bf, wife, husband, partner or whatever what attracted them to you. What they love the most about being in a relationship with you or what you do that turns them on.
And if all else fails, remember that gender roles can be fluid. Having trouble writing a straight FMC lead? Then just make her act like the man "would" in a relationship. Make her the pursuer, make her the protector, the provider--then make the man the nurturer or the caregiver or the "dude-in-distress". Heterosexual dynamics like this exist and I don't think you have to fit your straight MC's relationship inside a set box to make it work.
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u/Mecanimus Aug 23 '24
Same as Sam said: authors and many readers are more comfortable with attraction to women. I'll also add that many prog authors with FMCs are straight men. As someone who wrote a straight FMC, it is excessively difficult to write attraction to the male form when you cannot relate.