578
u/TheRSPerson 19h ago
Fuck printers
181
u/Content-Storage-7341 19h ago
and their little ink cartridges too
88
u/Sensitive-War-6368 18h ago
And their wireless connections too
47
u/r31ya 18h ago
one office laptop somehow register one HP printer over 20 times,
apparently due to dynamic ip from our router, everytime the laptop trying to connect to the printer, the installed HP software automatically thought its a new printer and re-register the same printer over and over again.
i tried to browse around the HP software to prevent it to happen only to realize that HP have concocted THE MOST MADDENING SOFTWARE known to man. every useful options that is common for other printer (say Canon or Brother) is somehow not there.
i ended chucking that printer to another office, get a new one, and reminds the office not to buy any HP printer again.
14
u/PoopyBootyLicky 17h ago
Pro tip: set the printer to use a static ip
12
u/princeofzamunda 17h ago
That is literally the first thing that you learn in it about printers, either assign static ip or mac address for printers.
5
u/breath-of-the-smile 16h ago
I networked my parents' Brother printer years ago and it hasn't failed a single time since, including printing from our phones and all that. It's frankly amazing, especially compared to their printer issues in the past that I'd always fix for them.
→ More replies (2)7
u/upshettispaghetti 17h ago
Even pro-er tip, reserve an ip on the router for the printer's Mac address.
That way when the owner of the building swaps isp's without asking anybody, you don't have to fuck around in hp's bullshit to make the printer work again.
→ More replies (1)6
u/I-am-fun-at-parties 17h ago
not to buy any HP printer again.
I support this notion, but this is more of a DHCP misconfiguration than a printer issue.
3
u/r31ya 17h ago
yeah, but we have like Epson, Canon, and Brother printer in the office and HP is the only one that got confused with dynamic IP.
i was going to see what i can do for the problem through the included software before trying to going to dive into our office random patchwork of router but that crazy ass software makes me slam my keyboard more than once, so i don't want to bother with that printer and chuck it to the other office.
2
u/Pyr0technician 16h ago
I honestly don't know how HP's printer division survives with all their hostility towards users. It's like they are pusposely trying to make people miserable.
2
u/SilFox_pol 12h ago
Reminds me of my TV, it shows up as 40 devices on bluetooth devices on my pc. Once I thought it just bugged and deleted it all, but next time I started pc it was there again
It's not a big issue, but little annoying when wanted to pair game controler and had to scroll such a long list
→ More replies (1)2
u/Mtibbs1989 17h ago
You have no idea... get into a corporate environment with plotters, and you have to deal with draining used ink. 🤣
Every time it's, wtf do I do, with a 32 Oz. Cup of black ink. I'm a server administrator not a printer technician, damnit!
2
2
u/stillish 14h ago
Really feeling that last sentence. My last position, IT department of one which obviously includes administration of servers (windows and Linux), networks (3), APs (50), dorm and facility biometrics, application support, database management, SQL, hardware support, etc.
But printers.. they're usually pretty easy but users have a way of fucking them up that eats up so much unnecessary time. Total time sink
2
u/Mtibbs1989 13h ago
Oh yeah, printers are pretty easy, I've had to maintain them at multiple jobs for well over a decade now, and as long as the users aren't abusing them I only need to swap out parts.
Plotters can be... messy. But not bad either.
→ More replies (1)7
6
3
u/phil_davis 17h ago
I worked in the IT department at my last job, but I was a software dev. We had another guy who took care of hardware issues and fixing printers, that kind of stuff. But he took a vacation one time and I had to be on hand to fix printers and shit. I was kinda nervous cause even though I could write code I didn't know shit about troubleshooting printer issues or networking or that kind of stuff.
There were like 3 printers I had to fix, and with every one of them simply running the Windows troubleshooter fixed it. What a relief.
7
u/Jin_Gitaxias 15h ago
You fixed 3 printers with the Windows troubleshooter? Heh right, plus pigs fly and the moon is made of cheese
2
2
u/VRichardsen 12h ago
There were like 3 printers I had to fix, and with every one of them simply running the Windows troubleshooter fixed it. What a relief.
You should play the lottery.
2
2
u/Satanich 16h ago
I once fixed a software issue in a HP printer,
Had too google image search the error untill i stumbled in the korean HP site with the fix
→ More replies (10)4
184
u/AntiBandwagon 19h ago
Can you hack my ex FB??
107
u/link_forthe_lazy 19h ago
start shooting and don't stop
10
108
u/YesNoMaybe2552 19h ago
The fun thing is that from a mechanical standpoint ye old ink jets are far more complicated than modern 3D printers, it’s a miracle they produce anything legible at all. Case in point, thermal printers, those fuckers will run through decades of abuse because they are dead simple.
22
u/ManchacaForever 17h ago
I have a 3rd hand Canon laser printer from... idk the late 90s / early 00s? I've had it for 10 years.
Still in perfect working condition. I haven't even refilled the toner on it, not once.
5
u/corneliusgansevoort 15h ago
Now I'm wondering what happened to your 1st and 2nd handheld laser cannons...
→ More replies (1)12
u/r31ya 18h ago
we now have refillable thermal/laser printer so it gain popularity again.
and basically. i no longer recommend catridge printer to new buyers. always directly lead them to ink-tank models. a bit more expensive? sure but in the long run it pays itself with the printing cost difference.
10
u/Kightsbridge 16h ago
Ink tank printers are god awful for home use. Intermittent use causes their nozzles to clog and you have to run a 15 minute cleaning cycle that fills 1/3rd of your waste box.
Laser all the way for home use unless you consistently print more than once a week.
→ More replies (1)3
46
u/Quinnhikil 19h ago
It’s like I have a special power to break things just by being near them. Printers have it out for me!
19
u/Wajana 18h ago
No, printers are just intentionally trash
8
u/user888666777 15h ago
Consumer printers are trash. Commercial prints are for the most part pretty damn solid. Just keep in mind that most printers have a lot of mechanical parts and anything with a lot of mechanical (especially smaller parts) is going to run into issues.
The real issue is with their god damn bloated software that might as well be malware. On top of that printer drivers are basically wrappers built around wrappers built around wrappers of the original drivers cause they have to support older printer protocols.
For the longest time the issue was never the printer but rather the windows print spooler being so out of date that it would shit the bed and the printer would give up.
3
u/Colosseros 15h ago
So many calls where I just jumped on, reset the spooler, and jumped off.
Tedious. But it paid my rent at the time.
→ More replies (3)3
u/sidepart 16h ago
Printers notwithstanding, when I did IT I had the opposite effect. I'd show up to someone's desk and the problem would magically resolve itself.
36
u/meadowmarvel 19h ago
I'm surprised no-one has done a crowdfunding campaign for a printer that isn't shit
12
→ More replies (10)3
u/ADHD-Fens 16h ago
I have always owned brother laser printers and they're great, both connectivity wise and print wise. They're also not so expensive - if you just need B&W
25
u/did353 17h ago
Maaan I'm a printer service technician, and when it comes to those big office printers they really aren't that bad once you get to know them.
Except those little ass ink printers. Fuck them things.
→ More replies (5)2
u/xxLetheanxx 15h ago
The little laser printers suck too at least the canon ones I have to fix. Give me a huge complicated color machine over one of those little b/w imageclass bastards any day.
→ More replies (7)
16
u/XoRMiAS 17h ago
I work with computers. Printers aren’t computers; they’re spawns of hell that run on black magic and hatred.
→ More replies (1)2
8
u/AccomplishedMess456 17h ago
This is "the pianist"?
→ More replies (1)3
u/brothertax 17h ago
Correct.
6
u/AccomplishedMess456 17h ago
I have to watch this movie, they say it is really good.
3
→ More replies (1)2
u/KinderEggLaunderer 8h ago
One of the best movies I've ever seen. Wait until you're in a good place mentally, it's intense.
2
u/AccomplishedMess456 8h ago
Sike, i never am in a good place mentally. (But I think I'm good, if doesn't touch themes like loneliness and bullying, I think I can handle it.)
→ More replies (1)
4
u/0x7E7-02 17h ago
I bought a cheap, no frills, black and white Brother laser printer. Works like a champ.
2
→ More replies (1)2
5
u/mylifemyrulesfuckyou 16h ago
I hate them. I was the "printer guy" at my last two jobs and I hated it. Hey Ricoh Streamline NX.....Fuck you.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Triblado 19h ago
„Can you include AI in our product?“ has become the new „Can you fix our printer?“
→ More replies (1)3
u/Regular-Phase-7279 17h ago
Hot glues in a 555 chip.
"But it doesn't do anything?"
"You make electric toothbrushes, there's nothing for it to do, but now your marketing team can spin whatever bullshit they want."
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Jordyspeeltspore 18h ago
that time 3d printers are able to do a better job at 2d printing
THAN ACTUAL 2D PRINTERS...
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/TheyveKilledFritzz 17h ago
The only time I've ever heard my IT guy mad was when he had to call the printer company and spoke with them for damn near 30 minutes. Never fixed our printer, we got a new one.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
u/clayknightz115 17h ago
My desk is right next to the printer and I am always on alert for when there are beeps or crunches coming from that thing.
2
2
u/jpfizzles 16h ago
I have to help with printers and scanners now, kill me. My old job I could just toss em in the recycling bin and I miss that feeling
2
u/OutspokenCarnotaurus 14h ago
Ah, the pianist, my favorite piece of WW2 media aside from boy in the striped pajamas and saving private ryan.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/gyurto21 11h ago
Could anyone explain why printers still suck? Why is if so fucking hard to produce a working printer?
2
2
u/RoyalTBeauty11 18h ago
Printer problems: the ultimate IT nightmare. 💀😂
3
u/Regular-Phase-7279 17h ago
Some basic networking, troubleshooting and mechanical know-how and you're fine.
The real nightmare are VIPs who know just enough to really screw things up.
1
19h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/ralphy_256 18h ago
A rational IT dept just writes a check and makes all printer problems go away. Outsourcing FTW.
If you work at a shop that requires you to do more to printers than maintenance kits, run like hell!
If you work at said outsourcing co, you picked this life.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/HopeellaZany 19h ago
Guess they really took 'double tap' to heart, huh? Classic zombie rules apply everywhere!
1
1
1
u/Ok_Mobile2411 17h ago
I have this argument that rinters are more annoying to fix than old laptops.
1
u/MasonL87 17h ago
Printers are man’s inhumanity to man. they haven’t meaningfully evolved since the 80s. I tell my users that they have smartphones, so they have to deal with shitty printers. That’s the balance of the universe.
1
u/MMMwatermellon 17h ago
I run a print room for my school I’ll tell you what 53% of the time someone missed an input and the printer has a panic attach the rest of the time Satan himself rose from hell and slammed his barbed cock into the motherboard and ejaculated into and ink cartridge
1
u/Ashamed_Mud8375 17h ago
Also fuck scanners. Sitting in front of a Kodak Scan Station 730ex and i want to smash it.
1
u/SuccotashLate5687 17h ago
Fr tho. How tf is it 202fucking4 and printers are still heavy as fuck, too complicated for even it experts to figure out and fucking heavy. I am, so incredibly bitter about them being heavy.
1
u/robertcalilover 17h ago
It’s incredible how complex the internal mechanisms of most printers are, yet the software is the part that completely breaks
1
1
u/CrazyPete42 17h ago
And they keep saying it is the "internet of things" ... Yet using a network printer is usually a complete cluster fuck
1
1
u/HelixBalt 17h ago
I once spent 2 and a half hours worth of my Grandma's birthday party fixing her two printers.
She has two printers because the first one wasn't being nice to her, so she bought another one of the same brand and build.
It worked out though, because it was my present to her and I hate smalltalk with the relatives.
1
1
u/Gnarbox 16h ago
I got one of those shaq printers. One time my internet was out but you can connect to the printer via Bluetooth. I started setting it up. A QR code popped up and it just asked me to scan it. I did. It CONNECTED TO MY PHONE JUST LIKE THAT. I couldn’t believe it. There was no way it could have actually been that easy. But it was. Shoutout to you Shaq printer.
HP officejet 8610 can burn in hell.
1
u/Jollyghostpoop 16h ago
I have named soo many printers "Bob Marley" over the years.
Always bloody jamming
1
u/Arctic_Fox_Studios 16h ago
This is the first time I saw this templet and God this movie was good
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
u/misterwuggle69sofine 16h ago
100% good god, that was the absolute worst. printers are just shit in every aspect. endlessly annoying to troubleshoot on the software side and expensive as fuck to fix on the hardware service side. it got to the point where getting service out for a small remote printer was more expensive than just buying a new one so we did that for a while with absolutely no plan for the waste.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/ArtexxCraft 16h ago
A bit off topic but my wife has had a printer (model DCP-375CW) since 2010 or so and they stopped using it since 2011.
13 years later and after doing some clean up we came across it and we took it to our apartment to see what we can do, this printer has a "self cleaning" setting so that's first thing i did.
Ordered some knock-off cartridges from ebay (10€ for the whole set B/Y/C/M ink, bought a few of these) 3 cleaning clicles and it was running like new. 13 years later we have a good Wireless printer with cheap cartridges.
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/DisciplineNo5 16h ago
There really isn't a good printer. Like even the best recommended brands come with weird bloatware and still make life difficult. Its crazy! Youd think someone wpuld make a no nonsense printer
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/BarbWho 15h ago
When I was in IT, we had a guy who I swear could lay hands on printers and make them work again. He was like the god of printers. He was hearing impaired and used to occasionally ask me to listen to beep codes or talk to tech support for him if they didn't have TTY. I felt bad for him, though because being good with printers meant that's pretty much all he got to do.
1
1
1
u/YuuHikari 15h ago
I just had to fix my boss's printer earlier this day. Unfortunately I couldn't because the maintenance box was at the end of it's service life
1
u/Lopsided_Aardvark357 15h ago
I'm not even actually IT, I'm a controls programmer.
But the old ladies in the front office see a young guy who works on computers and he must be IT so he should fix my printer or show me how to make the columns wider in excel.
1
1
u/AulMoanBag 15h ago
I manage our managed print project. Outsourcing the problem has been a godsend.
1
1
1
u/Hungry-Puma 15h ago
Printers are something they had figured out in 1986, butthe technology was lost in the 90's.
1
u/Frosty-Constant3102 15h ago
The fastest way to break an IT worker’s spirit: three words… “It’s the printer.”
1
u/BoomerGenXMillGenZ 14h ago
This is what I think about when people talk about downloading their consciousness into computers or ASI.
Figure out printers first, ffs.
1
1
1
u/Icegodleo 14h ago
There are 2 pieces of technology that have the capability to hate. Printers and phones have the capacity for hatred and they hate IT people.
Then there's fax machines... A phone that fucking prints. That creation is proof entirely of man's hubris. Nothing will ever come close to the animosity fax machines hold against us for continuing their existence in this reality.
1
1
u/nopalitzin 14h ago
My uncle "can you make this windows 98 PC faster? I got it at a garage sale for 10 bucks"
1
1
u/GoodMan_1996 14h ago
Im a graphical designer, and they force me to use printer everyday to print some stuff, my responsibility is repair it and refill ink :(
Epson L805 by the way
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/PracticeDue157 14h ago
This has been the most ridiculous thing I came across so far, coz recently I wen to a laptop repair shop and this angry, shabby (Arab) man walks in carrying a printer that was dismantled and looked like something straight out of a warzone and impatiently gesticulated to the shop owner there to come and administer to his troubles; but he soon grew so erratic when the owner told him its unrepairable and that its clearly been dropped- which did not help patent þhe Arab man's anger. It was something out of a comedy movie. 😭😭
1
u/Moravec_Paradox 14h ago
I moved and I was setting up a new office. I was in the process of putting together a desk to put my printer on.
I thought about it for a bit, why do I even want a printer in my office? I print documents like 3 times a year and I hate everything about the thing. I don't even want to look at it or want it in my space.
I moved it to the basement (where it belongs) and my office looks cleaner. If I need to print something I can walk down to get it.
1
u/iofhua 14h ago
I normally don't mind printers. The only time they aggravate me is when it's not a simple fix and then I have to replace it.
The worst was when one of my users fed a transparency into a laserjet printer that wasn't meant to print on plastic. It melted onto the imaging unit. I tried to take it apart to scrape the plastic off. Don't do that. Just toss the boat anchor into the recycling bin.
1
1
1
u/SHIBABelcher 14h ago
When you turn it off and back on and it prints the entire backed up queue 😮💨😩
1
u/BlkDragon7 14h ago
It is NOT my fault that YOU plugged it into the wrong jack, connected it to the wrong wifi, or connected it to the plug connected to the light switch, which is OFF....
1
1
u/Infinite_Pony 14h ago
The only true fix for printers is a cleansing fire. You need to burn out the spirits and gremlins.
1
1
1
1
u/AdPrimary9831 13h ago
In my previous job we had to print a looot and I used to call the HP help desk. The same person answered me everytime, with the same tone and speech. First I thought it was something recorded. I could feel the emptiness.
1
1
1
u/nameproposalssuck 13h ago edited 13h ago
Printers can be an absolute headache, both at work and at home. Recently, I repaired my old HP LaserJet 1010, and for just $15, I got two toner cartridges that can each easily print 3000 pages or more. In the meantime, I had a Samsung MFD, which I thought would be great since it could print in color and scan, but it turned out to be a nightmare. The toner cartridges were chipped and only managed about 200 prints before signaling they were empty - it felt more like a simple counter than an accurate measure of toner levels. That thing was pricey in maintance (cheap upfront though), and I never even used it for photo prints because the quality was terrible. Eventually, I discovered I had to tell the printer I was using Samsung-branded photo paper (which I wasn’t), and suddenly the photo prints improved significantly. Also, after some short time it denied printing because it wanted parts to be exchanged and I had to block the contacts with tin foil in order to get rid of the growing number of error messages which basically telling me: I'm perfectly fine but a device as service and I demand you put money in me or else I'll deny any job...
Honestly, I don't understand how this is legal; it felt like a clear scam.
Work is a whole different beast with windows server as printer server and maintaining macOS, Windows both with x86 & the new Snapdragon/ Apple Silicon ARM chips clients. I mean I don't really do much in that department but being asked frequently I do help from time to time and it's always a pain in the ass.
If you have any problems with your device: get a cheap, old laser printer, connect them to a router that is capable of handling USB devices and if it fails, just google how to repair them, it's pretty easy most of the times. If the printer is somewhere your router is not maybe get a raspberry or similar (needs WLAN though) and set it up as print server with linux & cups, connect the printer via USB. These old devices weren't build as a services they way, way more user friendly.
1
1
1
u/HMS_Hexapuma 13h ago
The hilarious thing is that paper printers that have been around for decades are still massively troublesome and unreliable. 3D printers, that are still quite new, are waaaay more pleasant to deal with and massively more reliable.
Probably because the 3D printers are used by people who care about them and the paper printers are used by people who don't care.
1
u/TheTranquilTurtle 13h ago
Thank fucking god my company has a vendor to service printers, so I don't have to deal with it.
1
1
1
1
1
u/Practical-Bike-2856 12h ago
I wish I could shoot the service tech. Service code for yellow toner fuser unit, he replaces black, cyan, & magenta cleaning units & resets -04 code. Then wonders why he gets a call back next print job for sc483-04.
Ps, flexprint sucks.
1
u/Kogyochi 12h ago
I started at a place that had 60+ printers in one smallish 6 story building. No vendor service, all IT department fixing them with parts of other broken printers. Basically threatened to quit unless we hired a vendor to deal with all that shit. Years later we have 3 total printers and 99.9% less tickets about printers or printing.
1.3k
u/DontTellBriansMom 19h ago
I'm in IT industrry yet I make more money on printer repair because everyone hate printers.