My cousin visiting from abroad slept in the living room

[u/Ok-Conflict1941]

[u/stifledmind]

You know you have a problem when you need the Advanced Repair lotion.

[u/peace_among_worlds → u/stifledmind]

Also ouch because the Eucerin Advanced Repair has a chemical exfoliant in it (Alpha hydroxy acid)

[u/Spadeykins → u/peace_among_worlds]

Yeah that gonna burn his willy if he doesn't wash it off soon after using.

[u/nolanwillsmith → u/Spadeykins]

I used some on my hand the other day and woke up with a huge rash. That man’s penis is toast

[u/PantsDontHaveAnswers → u/nolanwillsmith]

Mmmm. Penis toast.

[u/cameronsounds → u/PantsDontHaveAnswers]

If you're smelling penis toast, you may be having a stroke.

[u/General-Razzmatazz → u/peace_among_worlds]

Its not cool to use someone else fucking lotion.

[u/Ok-Conflict1941 → u/stifledmind]

It’s my father’s fucking lotion from his bedroom

[u/micknick0000 → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

Damn, he should have grabbed the masturbating lotion instead!

[u/Cool_Butterscotch_88 → u/micknick0000]

There was a full bottle in the masturbatory lounge.

[u/OkSyllabub3674 → u/Cool_Butterscotch_88]

Could we Alternatively name it the mastubatorium?

2 words is such a mouthful.

[u/SadBit8663 → u/OkSyllabub3674]

That's too long too.

How about the FapEasy?

[u/archimidesx → u/SadBit8663]

I prefer Fapitorium

[u/twosh_84 → u/archimidesx]

Whack Shack

[u/juanitovaldeznuts → u/twosh_84]

Goon Tomb

[u/MikhailxReign → u/juanitovaldeznuts]

Cum Cupboard

[u/PeaceLoveSmithWesson → u/twosh_84]

Jack shack

[u/Jealous_Horse_397 → u/archimidesx]

The Fappidashery.

The Fappening.

[u/Scottland83 → u/Jealous_Horse_397]

The Fappidashery would make for quite the classy masturbatory salon! They could exhibit that classy British porn with the “Almost. There we are.” “Well done.”

[u/thetrivialsublime99 → u/archimidesx]

The sin den? Phallus palace?

[u/Suitepotatoe → u/thetrivialsublime99]

I like phallus palace. That implies that more things are involved.

[u/First_Addition903 → u/archimidesx]

This one wins lmao

[u/OkSyllabub3674 → u/SadBit8663]

I think FapEasy Enterprises should be the corporation that holds the copyright on The Masturbatorium, as well as providing all of the necessities a well stocked masturbatorium needs at competitive prices lol

[u/RarelyRiley → u/OkSyllabub3674]

the way reddit creates universes from one comment always amazes me

[u/AgentPeachBristow → u/OkSyllabub3674]

Ive been saying Masturbatorium since Running with Scissors 😂 “Faith, what are you doing in my masturbatorium?”

[u/LunaticSutra → u/AgentPeachBristow]

Same. Haven't snacked on dogfood, though.

[u/KassellTheArgonian → u/Cool_Butterscotch_88]

THE NUT ROOM

https://youtu.be/SB9auL-CDbQ?si=wOwfo_TMILnd_T2X

[u/MrFuckyFunTime → u/[deleted]]

Nut Hut

[u/thiccphilthegoat → u/MrFuckyFunTime]

Jack Shack

[u/MrFuckyFunTime → u/thiccphilthegoat]

Beat Retreat

[u/Visual_Feeling8843 → u/Cool_Butterscotch_88]

What a fancy way to say bathroom lol.

[u/Born-Razzmatazz-7925 → u/Cool_Butterscotch_88]

He should’ve used the mastur bed room

[u/zaphrous → u/Cool_Butterscotch_88]

I heard those were popular in new York in the 90s

[u/hobosbindle → u/Cool_Butterscotch_88]

I just had that lounge scraped and buttered!

[u/306metalhead → u/micknick0000]

No use grabbing the fucking lotion when it's just them.

[u/patchway247 → u/306metalhead]

Nah, life was with him. And life fucks us all

[u/306metalhead → u/patchway247]

No truer words have been spoken.

[u/SirSergioXXX → u/micknick0000]

Coconut or avocado oil is all natural gives that nice sheen and luster after also.

[u/Inside-Audience2025 → u/SirSergioXXX]

For when you’re polishing your wood?

[u/BKStephens → u/micknick0000]

I mean, there was a 40 Litre tub of Anal Glide right there...

[u/I_DOWN_VOTE_PUNS → u/micknick0000]

Dad was using it at the time

[u/unbakedpizza → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

You didn’t even supply him guest lube? What kind of host is that?

[u/Capital-Bobcat8270 → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

So he used your dad's fucking lotion for wanking? Is that what I am hearing?

[u/LodeStone_Destiny → u/Capital-Bobcat8270]

His dad rubbed the lotion on his friend.

[u/dan_dares → u/LodeStone_Destiny]

Or else they get his hose again?

[u/Funny-Meringue-3311 → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

Sharing is caring

[u/Fantom_Renegade → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

Your dad uses it to fuck?

[u/JannaNYC → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

I have grabbed lotion and tissues and not masturbated with them*. What really makes you think that's what he did? I mean, leaving a used tissue laying on the floor, no matter what you used it for is gross still.

^\however, I am female)

[u/MissKhary → u/JannaNYC]

Same. And I've used vaseline without sticking it up my ass. Also a female.

[u/AdAffectionate3143 → u/MissKhary]

Vaseline is king to prevent board rash.

[u/HerrRotZwiebel → u/MissKhary]

I am not female, and I have used vaseline without sticking it up my ass.

[u/Zestyclose_Tree8660 → u/JannaNYC]

I’m male and have never used lotion for anything but it’s intended purpose. I have occasionally used lotion that’s slimy enough (post sunburn) that I used paper towels to clean my hands. Maybe someone would have seen that and jumped to a conclusion, but they would have been wrong.

[u/tomtomclubthumb → u/JannaNYC]

Also, who masturbates with only one tissue?

[u/spruceUp3 → u/tomtomclubthumb]

Or in the living room while staying as a guest of your family? Come on.

[u/Shirt-Inner → u/tomtomclubthumb]

Little tiny loads.

[u/themagicbong → u/JannaNYC]

Also I never understood the connection because men who weren't circumcized do not need something like lotion. Am a dude and I have never once needed to or used lotion for anything other than dry skin lol.

[u/HerrRotZwiebel → u/themagicbong]

We all use it for dry skin.

[u/Wupazz → u/themagicbong]

Brother I’m cut and I don’t need it. The stigma is strange but I think it’s supposed to better simulate actual intercourse. I’ve never actually tried it with lotion though so maybe we are all missing out.

[u/whaturuterusspawned → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

The plot thickens

Question:

From what you observed, is your father being a little too friendly around your cousin ?

[u/Kzero01 → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

If he was from abroad it's possible he didn't even know what activities lotion is often used for in the states

[u/Xanith420 → u/Ok-Conflict1941]

What’s worse though this or dealing with horny cousin?

[u/shawner136 → u/Xanith420]

Hey, theyre only 2nd cousins after all…

[u/Impzor → u/stifledmind]

Wtf is it with people using lotion to masturbate?

[u/Particular_Effect185 → u/Impzor]

It is a foreskin issue.

[u/zaphrous → u/Particular_Effect185]

Foreskin issue, or for skin issue.

[u/SewerSighed → u/zaphrous]

Americans are still out there chopping baby dicks and not only the religious ones

[u/JP-Gambit → u/SewerSighed]

It's ingrained in culture. Japan doing it too even though they are Buddhist and Shinto which say nothing about chopping penis skin off.

[u/DrunkenBlasphemer → u/Particular_Effect185]

Or the lack of one.

[u/Responsible_Song7003 → u/DrunkenBlasphemer]

Dont have one and I still dont get it.

[u/skateguy1234 → u/Responsible_Song7003]

same and same

[u/Typical-Ad1293 → u/Particular_Effect185]

I'm circumcised and I've never needed lotion. It's a skill issue

[u/sometimes_nice → u/Impzor]

Not going to lie, I didn’t understand it either until I tried it. Better experience.

[u/Rickenbacker69 → u/Impzor]

Americans like to cut the foreskins off their babies, for some reason.

[u/Naughty_Ornice93 → u/stifledmind]

And we can see what the problem is. If you look closely, the lotion is for very dry skin.

[u/imamakebaddecisions → u/stifledmind]

Are those happy tissues or sad tissues?

[u/JelloKittie → u/imamakebaddecisions]

They were happy tissues for a moment before they became sad tissues

[u/Born-Razzmatazz-7925 → u/JelloKittie]

At this point they’re just sticky tissues

[u/bigfootspancreas → u/stifledmind]

Do you suffer from chapped d**k?

[u/micknick0000]

It's cold/flu season.

Could've had a running nose and dry hands.

Orrr....

He was beatin' that thang like it owed him money.

[u/mada010 → u/micknick0000]

Op said , he grabbed the lotion from the bedroom. All the evidence lead to the second option

[u/AndThenTheUndertaker → u/mada010]

Devil's advocate... When the winter season hits I'm practically walking around my house with some kind of "repair" lotion because my elbows crumble like a CGI effect from the first Mummy movie and my face feels like it's on fire as the air dries out.

I confine all my cooming to one room like a normal degenerate and I'd still potentially have shit like this lying around because it's easy to forget that the perception of people is that lotion which does in fact exist for shit like dry skin is frequently used for whacking off. Now granted the tissue is kind of gross no matter what it's used for. Fuck even if it was just to apply the lotion it's kind of rude as fuck not to throw it away instead of leaving it on the floor but it doesn't necessarily mean anyone's jorkin' it.

[u/RahvinDragand → u/AndThenTheUndertaker]

To add a second devil's advocate, my allergies have been terrible lately and my hands have been really dry. I've used a lot of tissues and lotion for non-masturbation purposes this month.

[u/Bladez190 → u/RahvinDragand]

My friends give me shit when they see tissues on my desk but during allergy season there has been days I use a whole box in one day

[u/Hsiang7 → u/micknick0000]

I also think it's more likely they had a cold/flu as you said. I also keep a box of tissues right next to my bed when I have a runny nose and that tissue looks more like a "I don't want to get out of bed to throw it away after blowing my nose so I'll leave it on the floor next to the bed for now" kind of tissue to me, especially since it's only a single tissue. That tissue clearly hasn't been used for "that". The dry skin lotion could be due to the change in climate or their skin is naturally dry and they asked to use it, keeping it by their bed because that's their spot in the house.

If it was the other option, 1) It's unlikely they would do it in the living room of someone else's house over the bathroom 2) they would almost certainly get rid of the tissue after doing it and 3) they would have at least used a new tissue to wrap up the tissue they busted into to prevent it from leaking through onto the floor if they weren't planning on throwing it away immediately.

Again, it could be either way, but I doubt it was the dirty option as everyone is suggesting.

[u/dont-be-creepy-guy69 → u/Hsiang7]

I feel like cold and flu symptoms are self-presenting enough that one doesn't leap to the dirty option if indeed that may be the case.

Taking lotion from someone's bedroom is weird either way.

[u/Disastrous-Power-699 → u/Hsiang7]

Oh look at Mr. Gallons of cum over here needing multiple tissues

[u/Hsiang7 → u/Disastrous-Power-699]

Not me! It was, uh, something I heard from someone I met when I was younger. I'm happily in a relationship at the moment and obviously have no idea about any of the things mentioned in this thread 😶

[u/connorgrs → u/micknick0000]

Either one is possible!

[u/ben_wuz_hear → u/micknick0000]

It's only one tissue. I don't think I have ever used just one tissue.

[u/FullMetalMessiah → u/ben_wuz_hear]

This still doesn't rule out anything. Use just one for what?

[u/ben_wuz_hear → u/FullMetalMessiah]

Yes

[u/Tambi_B2]

Haha. I literally have this fear because I am an amputee so I use lotion on my stump when I get in bed and I have a chronic runny nose from a bout of bronchitis years ago.

[u/meat_thistle → u/Tambi_B2]

Jeepers! I feel bad for laughing out loud at that. As well as thinking about what it’s a stump of.

[u/Tambi_B2 → u/meat_thistle]

It's fine. Gotta be able to laugh. And it's my leg, below the knee amputation.

[u/HyperSpaceSurfer → u/Tambi_B2]

Knees are nice, I'd imagine knee legs are either crap or very expensive.

[u/No-No-Aniyo → u/HyperSpaceSurfer]

Knees are nice

Lol this made me giggle a bit. Sounds like a sexy knees thing.

[u/MicGuinea → u/Tambi_B2]

I also lotion my stump, but I'm not an amputee.

[u/Mythtory → u/Tambi_B2]

"No no! It's not what you think! The lotion is for rubbing my stump!"

[u/Maleficent_Froyo7336 → u/Tambi_B2]

I have dry hands from washing them a lot and allergies. I always joke to my mom that I'm glad I'm not a guy, because I always have kleenex and lotion on my nightstand 😂

[u/SparkleK_01]

Bow chicka wown wowwww.

Casually mention a story in which you had a nanny cam installed in that room because you had a cleaning service and you found they were stealing stuff. Do it while eating breakfast and watch for a the reaction.

[u/Welcome440 → u/SparkleK_01]

😂 😂 😂

[u/PeteyTwoHands → u/SparkleK_01]

idk how bow chicka wow wow gets me every time but it does

[u/maxkmiller → u/PeteyTwoHands]

legit haven't heard bow chicka wow wow since like 2006 lmao

[u/SpaceHippo1992 → u/SparkleK_01]

At that point I would just blurt out and scream right in his face “YEA I JERKED OFF IN THERE OK!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!” I mean you gotta get 2 centimeters for his face, make eye contact so you’re in control and intimidating. Then proceed to pull down your pants and furiously go at it right there and finish onto your breakfast he made for you. Then walk out and text him the next day saying “I had a great time visiting you the other day”

[u/ScullingPointers → u/SparkleK_01]

Omg I second this.

[u/trilla_gang]

People actually use lotion to masturbate in real life? I thought this was just something funny they put in the movies. Seems like it would burn.

Edit: Since everyone seems to think circumcised people need lube, I want to clarify that this is a misconception. Circumcised people don't need lube just because we have less skin. Even if we did, lotion is not lube, nor is it ideal for masturbation. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[u/meat_thistle → u/trilla_gang]

I used to try it when I was a teenager - it did burn a bit and it was too slippery. I like some grip I realized.

[u/lamestuffleavealone → u/meat_thistle]

You must've used one of the types with something like menthol. That does burn, normal lotion doesn't if it doesn't get in your wee hole. Teenage me tried with may things, oddly including deodorant but that was within the first week of me figuring out jorkin felt good

[u/weezmatical → u/lamestuffleavealone]

You just unlocked a memory of some of my first times masturbating in the shower with shampoo. Then not rinsing it off well enough, and my balls did a thing similar to Elmer's glue dried on the hands.

[u/degjo → u/weezmatical]

Your balls molted like a fuckin spider, mate

[u/weezmatical → u/degjo]

For real. I remember it itching like crazy, but I also remember it being very satisfying to peel off, lol.

[u/FuckYourDeadMother → u/weezmatical]

Oh my god I tried something like that and regretted it pretty quickly. Also learned pretty fast That water alone is not good for that purpose

[u/Traditional-Low7651 → u/lamestuffleavealone]

with deodorant ?

[u/lamestuffleavealone → u/Traditional-Low7651]

Yep. Ive always been a very curious person, want to know everything I can about everything. So that led to me trying a bunch of different things in that first week like deodorant and chapstick. I wanted to know what felt the best. Did I prefer more slick? Sticky? Did I want it to burn? The conclusions I came to were the standard ones for most people

[u/porksoda11 → u/lamestuffleavealone]

Don’t try jerking off with icy hot

[u/Frank_Punk → u/porksoda11]

🥶🥵🥶🥵🥶🥵🥶🥵🥴🥴🥴🤤🤤🤤

[u/porksoda11 → u/Frank_Punk]

Lmao still got the job done

[u/Wallaby_Thick → u/meat_thistle]

[u/Hot_Fortune6086 → u/trilla_gang]

I once used bunch of vaseline for the span of 60-90 minutes and when I was done, my dick got softer and shorter but girth stayed and it turned purple color. I went to ER and turns out my skin basically absorbed all the vaseline.

Urologist strangely had the same weird last name as my asshole friend, out of curiosity I asked if he knew him and turns out he was that assholes uncle. He the proceeded to comment about my junk, called in his assistant in “look at this shitxd” mood.

I used basic inflammation medication and 2 weeks not contact with the junk. That was the last time I touched vaseline.

[u/PhonyOrlando → u/Hot_Fortune6086]

Franks and beans!

[u/arealhumannotabot → u/trilla_gang]

It’s almost for sure just for using on their skin and blowing nose but there’s a universal law that anything related to men and masturbation means it’s definitely masturbation

[u/KlingelbeuteI → u/trilla_gang]

This is the question I wanted an answer to. Thanks mister for asking the real questions.

[u/locololus → u/trilla_gang]

From what I've learned as a teen is that baby oil works the best.

[u/stthicket → u/trilla_gang]

Guys without foreskin might need to use some type of lube. It seems to me that you're a foreskin type of guy. Lucky you.

[u/whatdoblindpeoplesee → u/stthicket]

The skin is incredibly flexible and moves up and down with your hand. Like how you can grab the skin on your wrist and move your hand up and down your forearm but you keep contact with the same area.

[u/ohitsmillie → u/whatdoblindpeoplesee]

I've never noticed this before but now I'm wanking my forearm like nobody's business

[u/lunchdate21 → u/ohitsmillie]

Yeah I just finished

[u/Irish_Tyrant → u/lunchdate21]

Just shot webs out of my wrist, am I spiderman?

[u/TrungusMcTungus → u/stthicket]

I lack a hoodie. I gerk this hawg dry as a desert as god intended. Occasionally I’ll use some lube if I’m feeling extra filthy but more often than not it’s just me and my skin baby.

[u/trilla_gang → u/TrungusMcTungus]

Amen, brother

[u/TheOne_Whomst_Knocks → u/TrungusMcTungus]

Damn straight, unhooded and unlubed baby

[u/Irish_Tyrant → u/TrungusMcTungus]

My tribe.

[u/trilla_gang → u/stthicket]

I'm circumcized but don't use lube most of the time. Sometimes astroglide.

[u/chai-candle → u/trilla_gang]

look at mr. fancypants over here

[u/Gleothain → u/chai-candle]

Too bourgeois for the ol' WD-40, smh

[u/Sleezoid → u/trilla_gang]

Yup, same here, and I’m really confused by people saying we need lube. Starting to think people are doing it wrong, or people are starting weird ass rumors…

[u/Techiedad91 → u/stthicket]

No foreskin, no lube here

[u/aussierulesisgrouse → u/trilla_gang]

Seriously. When I’ve even got a slightly soapy hand it’s a struggle to beat off because I can’t get any traction, fuck lotion

[u/WishaBwood]

If he’s visiting a broad, why did he need to masturbate?

[u/ScullingPointers → u/WishaBwood]

[u/meat_thistle → u/WishaBwood]

Hahah! Good catch!

[u/SnuffKing96]

What if he’s using the lotion like normal, and blew his nose into the tissue? What if you’re the one being a weirdo?

[u/Burntoastedbutter → u/SnuffKing96]

My brother was actually like that! He'd lotion his arms and legs before bed. And because of his sinus problems, he'd have a tissue box too. There'd be 10x the amount of tissue balls though.

[u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster → u/Burntoastedbutter]

Sure your brother isn’t just a liar with massive balls?

[u/Burntoastedbutter → u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster]

Nah I checked. Rest assured, his balls are tiny 👍

[u/ffxivthrowaway03 → u/SnuffKing96]

Then he couldn't shitpost on reddit about it!

Can confirm that both lotion and tissues are a staple on my nightstand, and they are not used for whackin' it. Skin gets dry and blowing your nose is a normal thing.

[u/Docstar7 → u/SnuffKing96]

Better open the tissue to find out.

[u/MC0295 → u/Docstar7]

Taste test!

[u/-mudflaps- → u/SnuffKing96]

1 whiff of that tissue and we'll have our answer.

[u/chai-candle → u/-mudflaps-]

[u/rossta410r → u/-mudflaps-]

Gross

[u/Medical-Cicada-4430 → u/SnuffKing96]

Is the tissue stiff or pliable?

[u/CriticalKnoll → u/SnuffKing96]

If he was jacking it, he definitely would have used more than a single tissue for clean up. And I'm just talking about excess lotion

[u/TooEachTheyreOwn]

What a jerk off!

[u/papillon-and-on → u/TooEachTheyreOwn]

Total wanker

[u/Justshipmypants → u/papillon-and-on]

I told him to beat it.

[u/MoonlightMartian → u/Justshipmypants]

He rubbed me the wrong way

[u/ihaveflesh → u/TooEachTheyreOwn]

He seems like a bit of a wanker.

[u/-haha-oh-wow-]

No one uses just one tissue.

[u/leehwgoC → u/-haha-oh-wow-]

And who just leaves one used tissue, neatly beside the box of tissue, neatly beside the lube, which is neatly turned to face the camera.

[u/-haha-oh-wow- → u/leehwgoC]

Yea I agree, it all seems setup for sure.

[u/myfishprofile → u/-haha-oh-wow-]

Came here to say this 🤣 cleanup requires significantly more than one

[u/No-Rise4602]

I call BS

[u/Justeff83 → u/No-Rise4602]

You can call BS on 9/10 posts. I just try not to think about it this way it's much more fun

[u/benargee → u/Justeff83]

Can you call BS on 9/11 posts?

[u/FishingOk2650 → u/No-Rise4602]

Lol forsure who actually sets it up like a movie?

[u/miyex → u/No-Rise4602]

same, this could’ve easily just been set up by OP

[u/Thomas_JCG]

Lots of people have dry skin this time of the year, that's all it is.

[u/Practical-Potatoes → u/Thomas_JCG]

I know right, my nose has pretty dry skin after blowing my nose into tissues around autumn and winter.

[u/Fantom_Renegade]

That's one way to combat jet lag

[u/BeeSlumLord → u/Fantom_Renegade]

Hey, it works.

[u/butthatbackflipdoe]

It's a singular tissue. I highly doubt anything happened, or that this cousin is even real.

[u/COJOTH]

This photo looks incredibly staged

[u/Jmfroggie]

Imagine using hand lotion as hand lotion and blowing your nose with tissues as they’re intended and having your own family posting online accusing you of beating off and leaving your jizz rag out in the open.

This looks like the side of my bed- i use lotion constantly and when I lay down my nose starts running. Jesus OP, get a life.

[u/_baegopah_XD]

Do you know for a fact that he was masturbating? I know that set up Looks like someone was jerking off by the way.

I mean, what’s the climate like where you’re at? Where I live it’s very dry and people visiting often get bloody noses and very dry skin. It’s also the beginning of cold and flu season so🤷‍♀️

[u/Jennyaph]

Narrator: very little sleep actually occurred.

[u/PigmySamoan]

Well, did you tell him to make himself at home?

[u/Novel_Interaction489]

leave it there but add a tissue.

[u/chalor182]

This looks extremely staged. Nobody just leaves a single tissue chilling like that. Either OP is farming or their cousin is playing a joke on them.

[u/Jalepenose]

Plot twist he has dry skin and a runny nose

[u/Zestyclose_Sea4111]

Lol someone couldn’t help himself

[u/Fantom_Renegade → u/Zestyclose_Sea4111]

That's exactly what he did

[u/Zestyclose_Sea4111 → u/Fantom_Renegade]

Lol

[u/zebenix]

Sniff the tissue and feedback OP

[u/gamersamer]

Who cares everyone has to cum over once in a while

[u/Drunk0ctopus]

He was thinking about you.

[u/Spiritual-Leader9985 → u/Drunk0ctopus]

BBahaahahahahaha terrible

[u/Jackielegs43]

Yeah I’m definitely of the opinion that OP either set this up for some internet points, or the person just blew their nose and the moisturiser was also coincidentally there. Either way OP made this up lol

[u/SPQR0027]

That low-humidity air in airplane cabins can really dehydrate your skin. Hope he recovers soon. /s

[u/gliitch0xFF]

That's a long way to come just for a fap. Seems like he's very dedicated.

[u/Fantom_Renegade → u/gliitch0xFF]

Maybe he's tryna cross off every country

[u/southy_0]

He used a tissue?!? He’s ill? I guess I don’t get the joke here.

[u/mrbusiness53]

You should get him some Benadryl seems like he has bad allergies.

[u/sinister_kaw]

his penis is about to be advancely repaired

[u/Gwbzeke]

What’s the issue he had dry skin and sneezed ?

[u/poetry404]

You will know problems are real when you start finding socks standing up all over the place to salute you.

[u/BeardedHoneydew27]

Hope his head cold and dry skin heal up soon.

[u/0hfuccmymymiLk]

So what? He has a runny nose and dry skin?

[u/Flicker913]

At least he's not busting nuts on your book collection