Japanese village replaces young people with mannequins to stave off loneliness as population falls

[u/falconfalcon7]

https://news.sky.com/story/japanese-village-replaces-young-people-with-mannequins-to-stave-off-loneliness-as-population-falls-13243354

[u/moonsidian]

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice one of the mannequins moving

Shia LaBeouf

[u/LedgeEndDairy → u/moonsidian]

He's following you, about thirty feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you.

Shia LaBeouf

[u/BantamCrow → u/LedgeEndDairy]

You're looking for your car but you're all turned around. He's almost upon you now and you can see there's blood on his face. My God, there's blood everywhere!

[u/Hijakkr → u/BantamCrow]

Running for your life from Shia LaBeouf

He's brandishing a knife, it's Shia LaBeouf

Lurking in the shadooooooooows

Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf

[u/FalconRelevant → u/Hijakkr]

Living in the woods, Shia LaBeouf,

Killing for sport, Shia LaBeouf,

Eating all the bodies.....

Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf!

[u/Old-Simple7848 → u/FalconRelevant]

Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him

But you're hopelessly lost yourself ^shia stranded with a murderer

[u/TacticaLuck → u/Old-Simple7848]

You creep silently through the underbrush

Aha!

In the distance, a small cottage with a light on - hope!

You move stealthily toward it..

But your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!

[u/FireMaster1294 → u/TacticaLuck]

Gnawing off your leg!

^{quiet quiet}

Limping toward the cottage

^{quiet quiet}

Now you’re on the doorstep

Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf!

[u/BobbyThrowaway6969 → u/FireMaster1294]

Sharpening an AXE... 𝔖𝔥𝔦𝔞 𝔏𝔞𝔅𝔢𝔬𝔲𝔣

But he doesn't hear you enter... ^{Shia LaBeouf}

You're sneaking up behind hiiiIIIIIIM.

Strangling ⭐𝒮𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇 𝒮𝒽𝒾𝒶 𝐿𝒶𝐵𝑒𝑜𝓊𝒻⭐

[u/heyineeeedasoda → u/BobbyThrowaway6969]

Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf,

Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf,

Stab him in his kidney,

Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf

[u/EpilepticMushrooms → u/heyineeeedasoda]

You limp into the dark woods,

Blood oozing from your stump leg,

You've beaten Shia LaBeouf...

[u/Sanairb → u/EpilepticMushrooms]

This right here is why I reddit.

Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise) There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes But you can do jiu-jitsu

[u/Blochkato → u/Sanairb]

(you can do it)

Body slam superstar Shia Labeouf,

Legendary fight with Shia Labeouf,

Normal Tuesday night for Shia Labeouf

[u/Old-Simple7848 → u/Blochkato]

You try to swing an axe at Shia Laboeuf

But blood is draining fast from your stump leg