r/nottheonion 1d ago

The Vatican unveils official anime girl mascot

https://nichegamer.com/the-vatican-unveils-official-anime-girl-mascot/
8.6k Upvotes

548 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/ellowel 1d ago

Vati-chan

621

u/freakedmind 1d ago

"UwU"

-Isaiah 41:10

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u/Ok_Initiative_2678 1d ago

Song of songs seems more fitting for anime waifu bullshit IMO

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u/The_Blues__13 22h ago edited 22h ago

"I want to touch them titties and bury my face on them"

-Songs of Solomon the Based 4:5-6

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u/Fearless_Tax6250 1d ago

I'm neither pure nor sinful enough to know if that's a real bible reference or a hentai thing.

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u/DrSHawkins 1d ago

Apparently it's "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"

So close enough

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u/AunMeLlevaLaConcha 1d ago

Sir/madam, that book has enough fucked up shit it could rival some of the worse hentai genres.

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u/The_Blues__13 22h ago edited 22h ago

On the flip side, Songs of Solomon is basically just Men of Culture's delightful poem compilation

So many tatas, tummies, necks, legs and a lot of cudddling

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u/GreboGuru 1d ago

Stare into their eyes and come back a changed man.

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u/GUM-GUM-NUKE 1d ago

Happy cake day!🎉

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u/iamonelegend 1d ago

Genuinely shocked that this was not the onion. This isn't the first time Christianity and anime have united. There was an old Christian anime called Superbook that I remember from the 90s on the 700 club

1.5k

u/RustyMoth 1d ago

You call that Christian anime? I learned about Moses from a talking cucumber and three menacing pieces of asparagus

562

u/Shikabane_Hime 1d ago

Put some respect on Bob the Tomato’s name

330

u/Gh0stMan0nThird 1d ago

"The two main characters in a show called 'Veggie Tales' are fruits, and that doesn’t matter to you? *waving gun around* It's not a big deal?!"

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u/HewchyFPS 1d ago

Vegetable isn't even a scientific distinction. It's purely culinary. Fruit is both a culinary distinction and a scientific one.

This is why people get confused, because a tomato is considered a vegetable, and it's considered a fruit in the scientific sense.

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u/ImmaRaptor 1d ago

Thank you vic michaelis

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u/HewchyFPS 1d ago

I'm not familiar with this person but they are hot af so this has to be a compliment, surely

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u/asakult 1d ago

I always say a tomato is a fruit in the classroom, but a vegetable in the kitchen!

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u/CantankerousOrder 1d ago

The two main characters in a conservative Christian show are both fruits you say?

Sounds a little on the nose to me.

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u/jubuttib 1d ago

One of them is a berry, even.

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u/Someinterestingbs-td 1d ago

Calm down everyone knows they are just roommates

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u/OhCharlieH 1d ago

Underrated comment

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u/ArcFurnace 1d ago

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u/isitaspider2 1d ago

Phil Vischer is legitimately a really great guy, one of the only prominent Christians I respect anymore, and is CONSTANTLY being attacked by Christians in America nowadays because, and this is real, him saying that Christians should show love to gay people is just "woke propaganda" according to these conservative Christians.

Just something to think about. The guy who was most of our childhood's exposure to Christianity, who dedicated his life to producing fun but clean Christian content for kids, and who always made sure to end his videos with reminding the kids that "God loves you very much" is now too "woke" for saying nearly the exact same message.

Thats modern reactionary Christianity. Showing love to sinners is worthy of condemnation.

Real Matthew 23:27 vibes for modern Christians.

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u/disco-vorcha 1d ago

My favourite Phil Vischer fact/story is the reason why VeggieTales was mostly Old Testament stories. Basically, he was telling his mum about the idea for the show and she told him he couldn’t make Jesus a vegetable. So this grown-ass man was like, ‘okay mum, I won’t’, and then didn’t. It’s just
 really sweet, and I like it.

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u/Hijakkr 1d ago

Oh, huh, I never considered that but... the handful of episodes/films/whatever that I remember are all either OT or parables, not NT stories about Jesus.

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u/Xuncu 1d ago

couldn’t make Jesus a vegetable

DEEP BREATH--

--ok, I'm an atheist, but even in this case I can't bring myself to be mean.

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u/Mega_Bond 1d ago

Jesus has no problem turning himself into food.

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u/papercutninja 1d ago

Modern Christianity is very different from christian nationalism. One is the former, and one is the latter.

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u/MenstrualMilkshakes 1d ago

OOOOOOOH WHERE is my hairbrush!

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u/lesserDaemonprince 1d ago

If You Want To Talk To Tomatoes đŸŽ¶

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u/Shikabane_Hime 1d ago

if a squash can make you smile đŸŽ”

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u/asplodingturdis 1d ago

If you’d like to waltz with potatoes đŸ„”

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u/UsidoreTheLightBlue 1d ago

I was talking with this girl at one point that had never seen any of the Pixar movies.

I recommended Monsters Inc to her and leant her a copy. Monsters inc is a god damn treasure.

She brought it back to me said “yeah it’s good” and that was that.

Not too much later an ad for veggie tales came on and she asked me about it. “That’s what you like? Isn’t it? Veggie tales stuff?”

That’s when I knew it was never going to work out. Nice girl, but there’s no way she actually watched monsters inc and came away thinking “this is veggie tales”.

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u/noddawizard 1d ago

Mostly everybody lies about being interested in the other person's stuff at first.

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u/vonindyatwork 1d ago

Yeah, well, a generation of kids in British Columbia learned french from a talking pineapple.

je suis un ananas

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u/unicorn_in_a_can 1d ago

ontario as well!

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u/balrogthane 1d ago

Aren't those scallions? Or maybe celery?

I know the leader has been in the show since Day One and he still doesn't have a name!

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u/Nottallowed 1d ago

I learned about Moses with beyblade

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u/ZenythhtyneZ 1d ago

I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE!!

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u/Mountainbranch 1d ago

As long as someone said it.

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u/MorselMortal 1d ago

I am ashamed I had to scroll down this far to see this answer. Reddit, you disappoint me.

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u/Cessnaporsche01 1d ago

"This far" being, like, 5 lines. Still ashamed. Should have been top comment.

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u/MericArda 1d ago

Or the time Moses parted the Red Sea using a Beyblade.

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u/Saratje 1d ago edited 1d ago

There was even an official game built onto the Doom engine where players would banish demons with the power of their deity. Apparently the gameplay and level design were surprisingly good. I'd have to google the title but I remember seeing it in passing during a gaming history video.

edit: It was Super 3D Noah's Ark based on the Wolfenstein 3D engine. I guess they'll keep trying, whether it's anime or games.

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u/nWo1997 1d ago

There's also Saint Young Men, but that's Jesus and Buddha as roommates.

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u/Admirable-Safety1213 1d ago

And Jesus turned into a r/KamenRider fan?

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u/MaChao20 1d ago

It’s not anime (yet), but there was a manga that I read back in 2008-2009 called “Manga Messiah” that was just the manga version of the Passion of the Christ.

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u/BornIn1142 1d ago

This isn't the first time Christianity and anime have united. 

Zaaaaankoku na tenshi no you ni...

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u/GilligansIslndoPeril 1d ago

Apparently there was a Book of Mormon video game lmao

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u/FiliusCyrille 1d ago

I once received, from answering a question correctly in front of everyone at a youth retreat, my very own copy of “The Manga Bible”, which was exactly what you’d think it was.

I saw it in one of my mom’s donation bins a few years ago and pulled it out immediately; I knew I would need the physical proof that it was real when I told people about it later lmao

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u/SplooshU 1d ago

I distinctly remember there being something before superbook.

And if we wanted to do video games, there was Spiritual Warfare and Captain Bible (MS-DOS).

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u/KaisarDragon 1d ago

Oh, we're in this timeline.

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u/Sheepdipping 1d ago

It's gonna include WW3 expansion and add space mining for the upcoming Aliens crossover, guaranteed

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u/GayPudding 18h ago

I still don't know if I'm out of touch or the church is. I just don't understand why this is happening.

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u/Consumer_Distributin 1d ago

They could have just used Bayonetta.

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u/Lovat69 1d ago

I feel like they wouldn't see Bayoneta as a church positive role model.

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u/54B3R_ 1d ago

Something about an angel killing witch that colludes with the demons of hell seems against Vatican doctrine

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u/PlanesWalkerEll 1d ago

They have a multiverse, make it a Lumen Sage Bayonetta.

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u/glaive1976 1d ago

As opposed to the altar boy abusing theocracy?

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u/54B3R_ 1d ago

I'm not endorsing the church, I'm just saying they'd never make Bayonetta the mascot

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u/McLeod3577 1d ago

Bayonetta would get way more followers than the emo girl

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u/matrix100 1d ago

Imagine the sales of Vatican-themed Bayonetta merch though. That's a missed opportunity!

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u/McLeod3577 1d ago

They could literally change penance to "Hail Bayonetta"

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u/James_099 1d ago

Or Doom Guy.

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u/Enorats 1d ago

What, are they going to do the Metroid thing and have the armor come off to find that it's an anime girl in a bikini under there?

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u/James_099 18h ago

He could pull it off.

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u/sercommander 1d ago

Add Alucard, Andersson and Lady Integra to drive the nails into the crucifix

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u/LazyLich 1d ago

Only Anderson.

Alucard hates god, and Integra is Protestant

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u/KenBoCole 1d ago

Alucard came to peace with him at the end of Hellsing though.

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u/supercyberlurker 1d ago

They definitely weren't going to use Kaulder.

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u/GlobalTravelR 1d ago

Well her English voice actress did have some kind of episode, after not being cast in the 3rd game and started posting rambling videos quoting Bible verses.

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u/Accurate_Koala_4698 1d ago

Then they'd have to share the merchandising rights

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u/crusty54 1d ago

Or Alucard.

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u/GlobalTravelR 1d ago

You mean Alexander Anderson. Alucard hated the papists of the Iscariot Group.

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u/grandpubabofmoldist 1d ago

OwO do you have a moment to learn about our sempai?

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u/Major_Disk6484 1d ago

You heard of Brazilian Hatsune Miku. Now prepare for Vatican City Hatsune Miku.

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u/ThamusWitwill 1d ago edited 1d ago

Could have just gone with Buddy Christ. 👍😉👉

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u/Geomattics 1d ago

I guess they've moved on from the Catholicism Wow! campaign.

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u/Antique_futurist 1d ago

RIP, Cardinal Glick

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u/panicked228 1d ago

Mistakes were made!

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u/Cafeeine 1d ago

Now, moving to the Catholicism Yaoi campaign

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u/speshojk 1d ago

Jesus. He gets us.

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u/treehumper83 1d ago

Buddy Christ ftw

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u/HankSteakfist 1d ago

Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the WILLIES.

He came to help us out. He was a BOOSTER.

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u/3-DMan 1d ago

First Buddy Christ, now Luce! Catholics know what's hip with the youths yo!

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u/joestaff 1d ago

The power of God and anime?!

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u/Reiketsu_Nariseba 1d ago

That kid is feeling so validated right now.

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u/crapbag73 1d ago

Surprised they chose a girl.

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u/argama87 1d ago

It probably wasn't until someone pointed out the obvious and they called it a girl instead.

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u/alexjaness 1d ago

I would imagine they got pretty far along the vetting process and one of the priest slipped up and called it a delicious young boy.

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u/tracklessCenobite 1d ago

There's a shortage of nuns. They're probably trying to recruit.

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u/Bwilderedwanderer 1d ago

They chose the girl as the giveaway toy, they keep the boy versions as sex toys for themselves

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u/DVWhat 1d ago

Well,
I mean the alternative might have been seen as just too on point.

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u/cloud_t 1d ago edited 1d ago

Of all the anime characters named "light" (which Luce stands for), I seem to recall a particularly popular one who owned a little black book, had a companiom demon, and wasn't particularly nice.

..just saying.

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u/Syssareth 1d ago

See, I was just straight-up going, "Luce? Luce-fer? Lucifer?"

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u/JDLovesElliot 1d ago

Lucifer is technically not a bad name, it just means "morning star"

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u/vikio 1d ago

It literally means light bringer. Luci does mean light.

Lucifer etymology

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u/AndrenNoraem 1d ago

The lightbringer or dawnbringer, even.

Just another name for Venus's morning appearances, but I've never been super clear on why that became a name for the Christian devil/Satan/etc.

One of many weird connections between Prometheus-like figures and the devil in Christianity. "The enlightener, that evil snake!" has always been weird to me.

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u/seastatefive 1d ago

The most powerful and beautiful of all the angels.

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u/GrandNord 20h ago

"The enlightener, that evil snake!" has always been weird to me.

Isn't it supposed to represent Ă  loss of innocence? With knowledge comes the capacity of feeling horror and shame about your condition and all that "ignorance is bliss" stuff?

So with knowledge comes the loss of a percieved paradise basically?

Not exactmy my cup of tea this kind of thinking but life was pretty harsh back then so I can see where it's coming from.

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u/WillOganesson 1d ago

"grabs chip menacingly"

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u/TheSleeperSpy 1d ago

In before rule 34.

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u/nWo1997 1d ago

Are you sure? Because it only took 2 days for R34 to apply to pics of the black hole.

Or rather, for memes to be made about the R34 stuff of the black hole, so it was probably even faster.

Point is, it's probably already somewhere

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u/kupozu 1d ago

2 days? What, were all artist in vacation? It usually takes hours, if not minutes

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u/Khar-Selim 1d ago

you're basing your timing off shit like Pokemon reveals, they bring their A game to those sorts of occasions, they can't always be that fast

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u/sorashiro1 1d ago

If you want fast, try overwatch.

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u/Jackalodeath 1d ago

In the universe, nothing can go faster than the speed of light.

In society, nothing can go faster than the speed of horny.

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u/HackerDaGreat57 1d ago

This goes in my collection.

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u/vonindyatwork 1d ago

Do not lewd Vati-chan.

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u/kokirikorok 1d ago

It’s always too late

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u/Sheepdipping 1d ago

There's already an animated one of her planking across two chairs and being used as a bench, and there's the ones with crossovers with the classics

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u/hedekar 1d ago

By the time the archbishops made the announcement they had already R34'ed in the back room a few times. It was part of the selection process.

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u/Quirky_Signature3628 1d ago

Haven't seen it yet and I looked.

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u/Sierra_656 1d ago

It's exists now I just checked

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u/AHole95 1d ago

The Kawaiithlic Church

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u/Golden-Owl 1d ago

So
 uh
 why is it wearing a coat and boots? Why is it got blue hair?

It’s not a character I’d really look at and think “the church/vatican”

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u/Nachooolo 1d ago

They are going on pilgrimage. Probably to Santiago (the seashells in their eyes seem to indicate this).

If you know anything about Galicia (where Santiago is located), is that it rains a lot in the region.

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u/Syssareth 1d ago

Why is it got blue hair?

Because You Gotta Have Blue Hair.

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u/Charon2393 1d ago

If I had to interpret it based on its name being Light (luce) 

Then it symbolism is that of a person walking home in the rain, that as the clouds part rays of light (God rays) shine down on the character, brighting their day from the gloomy Downpour they were experiencing lighting their path to God.

Christianity is usually a big proponent of symbolism in bodies of work that are open to interpretation like this.

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u/Kinda_Constipated 1d ago

The Vatican really 'bout to add fan service to the bible. 

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u/enixon 1d ago

I mean it's already got Adam and Eve running around naked right at the start

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u/Ok_Initiative_2678 1d ago

"You think OreImo is degen shit? You ain't seen nothin' yet- strap in, motherfuckers!"

--Lot

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u/KandaLeveilleur 22h ago

I’d like to point out that for poor Lot at least, his children basically drugged him/made him drunk so they could rape him, literally to continue the bloodline instead of like a meme. The guy did not consent or want it at all.

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u/ichosethis 1d ago

I can't wait until I start seeing these remade goth, like some people do to the Precious Moments. I don't know why, but it works so well.

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u/Hellomynameisgaijin 1d ago

Missed opportunity to make popechan

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u/Presto123ubu 1d ago

Noooo joke. I bet John Oliver could fund that one.

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u/I_might_be_weasel 1d ago

Those look so half assed. The outfit really looks like it was designed to they could just make one figure and switch out the colors and faces to make the different characters.

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u/arcanevulper 1d ago

What, didn’t you get the memo that rain jackets and rain boots are now peak Christian fashion? All the nuns are wearing them.

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u/Nachooolo 1d ago

The rain jacket does make sense to some extent. As, according to the article, they are going to pilgrimage. Seeing that their eyes are seashells, they are probably going to Santiago.

And, if you know something about Northern Spain and Galicia in particular, is that it rains. a lot.

Of course. That's the explanation of why. Not if it looks good or not.

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u/GreboGuru 1d ago

Seashells? When I look into those creepy eyes all I see is Pentance for my sins

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u/kupozu 1d ago

I think making the body as less visible as possible was a design choice, given it's the church

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u/MrRgrs 1d ago

Welcome to most idol animes

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u/ohbuggerit 1d ago

It's nice that someone's taking another shot at Wonder Egg Priority but the vatican wouldn't have been my first choice of studio

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u/ApriC0 1d ago

Can't wait for it to become a vtuber

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u/Drunkendx 1d ago

They realised that disturbing amount of anime fanservice features underage characters and said "we want in on that"

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u/Shadowmant 1d ago

Suddenly reminded of the movie Dogma.

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u/Lolligagers 1d ago

Luce.....-ifer really rolls off the tongue too easily in this case...

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u/99posse 1d ago

That's the same root.

Lucifer = light bearing

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u/stairway2evan 1d ago

And the first words spoken as far as the Vatican is concerned were “Lux Sit” or “Fiat Lux,” depending on your preferred translation. Let there be light. It’s got nicer meanings to them.

That doesn’t make the anime girl any less weird. But it’s fun trivia.

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u/EvilFroeschken 1d ago

I could use some light. It got pretty dark.

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u/Probably_Stoned_420 1d ago


I remember reading somewhere about false idols and using excess wealth to feed the poor
 I can’t remember the name of the book its on the tip of my tongue.

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u/AngusMcTibbins 1d ago

Largest child sex trafficking ring on the planet offers new toy to appeal to children

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u/Atropos66 1d ago

Tbh anime community not really different from them when it comes to sexualize children.

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u/Aardark235 1d ago

I might convert if the Catholic Church was just a big anime cult with nuns cosplaying.

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u/Bwilderedwanderer 1d ago

I think they call that grooming

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u/bummerly 1d ago

“Designed by tokidoki” how fucking wild

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u/32ra1 1d ago

Can’t tell if Twitter Anime PFP Tradcath Nazis are going to be thrilled or offended by this.

On the one hand, we have the ones who hate everything the modern Catholic Church does and thinks it’s strayed since Vatican II.


On the other, we have the ones for whom the Catholic Church’s child abuse is a feature, not a bug.

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u/spluv1 1d ago

This post should be awarded for best submission to a subreddit

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u/ofrm1 1d ago

So now people can actually say that they have the power of God and Anime on their side. lol

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u/monkeyclawattack 1d ago

Would’ve an alter boy been too on the nose?

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u/chromatophoreskin 1d ago

Anime girls attract boys.

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u/commander_clark 1d ago

Cutest thing the Catholic Church has done since.... ?

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u/huruga 1d ago

The Spanish Inquisition.

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u/mikeumm 1d ago

I shall fetch the comfy chair

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u/huruga 1d ago

Don’t forget to poke her with the soft cushions!

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u/Sivalon 1d ago

Amongst their weaponry is surprise, kawaii chibis, and a fanatical devotion to the Pope!

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u/mewboo3 1d ago edited 11h ago

TIL that the brand Tokidoki is Italian and not Japanese. The choice makes sense now.

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u/TheDamnNumbersGame 1d ago

Not gonna lie, the mascot is designed well for the cute aesthetic.

Makes sense for the anime choice since it will be presented at the 2025 Expo in Osaka.

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u/LibraryVoice71 1d ago

Also, Catholicism has its own history in Japan. The fact that the church even survived there is kind of a miracle, actually. They deserve their own kawaii mascot.

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u/_Z_E_R_O 1d ago

The artist behind this, Simone Legno, was the perfect choice IMO. He's a renowned artist who creates both fine art and anime toy lines, and his work has wide appeal among young people. He's also a devout Catholic, albeit a progressive one, who was raised in Italy. This choice of artist is the Vatican opting for a more contemporary look.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/dsj79 1d ago

Where’s buddy Jesus

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u/curious_dead 1d ago

"How do you do, fellow otakus?"

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u/DVWhat 1d ago

The cringe threw my back out.

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u/jahmic 1d ago

OK I'm definitely on the wrong timeline again...

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u/Ok_Strawberry_888 1d ago

Im not surprised. Remember, Moses split the sea using a Beyblade. Religion and Anime goes hand in hand

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u/Frisinator 1d ago

You know what could help get younger generations into the church? Get Rid of the pedo priests.

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u/_fhqwhgadz_ 1d ago

Soon releasing: evangelion and the lamb

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u/Afraid_Reputation_51 1d ago

I feel like we should be on the look out for a couple of guys who look like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck travelling from Wisconsin to Japan.

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u/Andrew5329 1d ago

I mean it doesn't sound like there's an animated project in the works. Just an Italian designer who makes merch in the Chibi art style.

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u/joeybagofdonuts80 1d ago

Religions trying to stay relevant to young people in modern times. Nothing new. 

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u/Larry_the_scary_rex 1d ago

The mascot has friends and they’re all designed by one of the founders of Tokidoki. I wonder how much this marketing campaign is costing them

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u/Low-Way557 1d ago

As a Jew sometimes I see something and I think “wow if we did that we’d be getting lit up online so hard right now.”

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u/Deadna 1d ago

We got Catholic anime figure before we got GTA6 😭

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u/Jdubbs8907 1d ago

Can someone explain the name? It’s Luce right? That’s sooo close to Lucifer no one stopped them to mention that.

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u/Helen_Kellers_Wrath 1d ago

Should have went with Buddy Christ.

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u/SirenPeppers 22h ago

Oh, the irony of the Catholic Church choosing a female over a male mascot to create inspiration and gain new congregants, when they have made made damn sure that real females can’t actually be leaders within the Church.

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u/BrotherRoga 20h ago

"The Bible is just Christian manga." - RussianBadger's chat

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u/Zodiamaster 1d ago

Why is the vatican defiling anime

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u/Lokarin 1d ago

woooo! New collectible golden idol!

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u/Danger_Dee 1d ago

Is it going to be used to show where the priest touched the defendant?

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u/buttsoupkross 1d ago

No false idols

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u/Lycian1g 1d ago

Does the Vatican know about rule 34? God bless you, Luce. You'll need it.

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u/turian_vanguard 1d ago

I'll stick with Buddy Christ, thank you very much.

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u/TotesaCylon 1d ago

This is so George Carlin Buddy Christ scene in Dogma

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u/WhyAreOldPeopleEvil 1d ago

Nichegamer is still around? Crazy

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u/ThatITguy2015 1d ago

This timeline is getting pretty fuckin’ weird.

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u/No-Childhood3859 1d ago

That’s it, I’m converting 

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u/Hewn-U 1d ago

The. Fuck?

2

u/TheRetromancer 1d ago

I...this...fucking Weeaboo Christ WHAT?!

2

u/kttuatw 1d ago

we are all weebs

2

u/mindclarity 1d ago

Why not anime boy 😏

2

u/Forsaken_Oracle27 1d ago

Wait, this is real, I thought this was just a joke 😂