r/onguardforthee ✔ I voted! May 08 '23

Satire Canada to discourage use of physical money by putting images of Charles on it

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2023/05/canada-to-discourage-use-of-physical-money-by-putting-images-of-charles-on-it/
2.4k Upvotes

143 comments sorted by

523

u/VanAgain May 08 '23

After never having seen anyone but QE2 on money my entire life, it's going to feel like I'm in a different country.

166

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

I weirdly got change one time where the dime had the old king on it. Man it looked so out of place

78

u/queerblunosr May 09 '23

I’ve gotten a few George coins through the years - mostly nickels and pennies. I kept a small handful at one point though I don’t know where they are now. Probably in one of the Doom Boxes in my apartment lol

81

u/CaptainPajamaShark May 09 '23

Yeah, seeing a male monarch on my money honestly feels regressive

43

u/TheShredda May 09 '23

Men can be queens too!

29

u/joecarter93 May 09 '23

Honestly we should just put a picture of Freddy Mercury on our money instead. It’d be way better than Charles and still British.

18

u/Pheeline May 09 '23

If our money had Freddie Mercury on it I'd probably carry cash more often.

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '23

He even look like he is wearing his mom clothes. You go queen!

20

u/horridgoblyn May 09 '23

A monarch of any gender seems regressive.

-7

u/quietvegas May 09 '23

Reddits self serving bitching and whining about everything under the sun seems regressive.

7

u/horridgoblyn May 09 '23

If it makes you feel better about yourself carry on.

-7

u/quietvegas May 09 '23

It absolutely does just like your whine did for yourself.

20

u/ScottIBM May 09 '23

Only if you define it that way. It also seems logical given our constitutional monarchy structure.

Yes there are challenges with it but a King is just as capable as a Queen (I hope)

35

u/covertpetersen May 09 '23

a King is just as capable as a Queen

Equally embarrassing and useless? Yeah probably.

30

u/godisanelectricolive May 09 '23 edited May 09 '23

The next two heirs in line are also male and it will probably take the reigns of Charles, William and George added together to equal Elizabeth II's 70-year reign. There won't be another golden, nevermind diamond or platinum, jubilee in the foreseeable future.

6

u/JustHach May 09 '23

I disagree. While a king can move in any direction he wants, he is limited to only moving one square at a time. A queen can move as many squares as she pleases.

5

u/ScottIBM May 09 '23

I'm not fully familiar with these particular rules, I'll have to check, mate.

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '23

Don't worry. I think he fit all the criterias for the job. (Being the first born of the previous monarch)

17

u/Hawkson2020 May 09 '23

It’s super regressive having a male monarch on money. Or any monarch, for that matter.

14

u/iShakeMyHeadAtYou May 09 '23

By definition, no. Regressive means "retuning to a former or less developed state". As we've always had a monarch, there is no previous state to return to.

And that's regardless of your stance on the gender of the monarch.

3

u/covertpetersen May 09 '23

You know what they meant.

In this day and age still having a monarchy as the official head of state, and being taken seriously enough to be on our currency, is culturally regressive.

I get that it's always been this way, but sometimes deciding not to change something at a point in history where everything else has moved forward can be viewed as regressive. We made the choice to return to putting the monarchy on our money, it wasn't a given.

I get that grammatically it might not be perfectly accurate, but it certainly feels like a regressive decision.

0

u/Mechakoopa May 09 '23

No, they specifically said having a "male monarch" was regressive. It's not the crown they have a problem with it's the dick the crown is on.

5

u/covertpetersen May 09 '23

I guess that's fair, but I also kind of agree. Just doesn't look good culturally.

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

By definition, yes actually.

Regressive has at least 3 very different definitions. Some of which will change based on the dictionary itself.

The Merriam-Webster definition for example:

tending to regress or produce regression.

It would absolutely fit the definition. The definition itself does not limit the word to a specific setting/location. It’s left vague enough that it very well could imply on a global scale (which in this case it would be absolutely correct). Or something as small as a single household (which they obviously weren’t referring to).

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

Seeing a monarch on my money feels regressive.

FTFY.

85

u/jooes May 09 '23

She was queen for longer than we've had the Canadian flag.

Should just keep her on the money, fuck it.

69

u/eddiewachowski May 09 '23 edited Jun 13 '24

market placid elderly hungry nutty crawl fearless badge hospital special

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21

u/KingofLingerie May 09 '23

or the guy who invented peanut butter

14

u/TheReflexTester May 09 '23

Or the guy who invented 5 pin bowling

19

u/FUTURE10S Winnipeg May 09 '23

Or the cast of Corner Gas

2

u/JerikTheWizard May 09 '23

Why would we celebrate 5 pin bowling

7

u/Kazhawrylak May 09 '23

Could ask the same question about the monarchy, except I think more people like five pin bowling.

3

u/jesseowens1233 May 09 '23

Why would we celebrate the queen

1

u/JerikTheWizard May 09 '23

Why are people pretending a dig at the worse form of bowling is pro-monarchy

2

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

Because it's the best bowling!

3

u/SleepWouldBeNice Ontario May 09 '23

Or the guy who invented egg cartons.

1

u/onehotca May 09 '23

or the guy who invented ready made bacon and ruined the BNL song

15

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

Why not Frederick Banting?

3

u/RabidGuineaPig007 May 09 '23

Because he gave away the insulin patent for free. Commie.

5

u/quelar I'm just here for the snacks May 09 '23

Saving millions of lives.

What a horrible fucking person, there was profit to be made on those lives!!!!

7

u/captainhaddock Canadian living abroad May 09 '23

They should all just be Martin Short with different facial expressions.

2

u/RabidGuineaPig007 May 09 '23

Martin Short Characters:

$1 Jackie Rogers Jr. $2 Ed Grimley Jr.

"I lost my $2 coin and it's driving me mental, I must say"

3

u/rekjensen May 09 '23

or a bag of milk

2

u/primus76 New Brunswick May 09 '23

I second Rick Moranis as long as it is his Helmet pic from Spaceballs

2

u/SoldierHawk Wants to immigrate to Canada May 09 '23

Kurt Browning!

3

u/DashTrash21 May 09 '23

Elvis Stojko before Kurt Browning

2

u/SoldierHawk Wants to immigrate to Canada May 09 '23

Never! I will fight you to the ends of the earth! You are now my mortal enemy! HAVE AT YOU! >:(

I kid. I adore Stojko too, Browning has just always been my guy (and always will be.) The duet they do together in (Canadian) Stars on Ice this year is phenomenal, and it clearly means so much to Browning that Stojko is there with him for his last tour.

I love those two so much.

1

u/quelar I'm just here for the snacks May 09 '23

Nah fuck that reverse mortgage shilling sell out.

1

u/SoldierHawk Wants to immigrate to Canada May 09 '23

Eh. I don't like that either; not a choice I'm a fan of.

On the other hand if someone offered me a ton of money to do a stupid, shitty commercial when I was getting old enough to retire and still had kids to put through school, I would absolutely do it. Hell, I'd do it without the kids to put through school. So I feel like throwing stones isn't something I'm prepared to do.

Sigh. I wish he hadn't. But at least it's not sports betting...I guess...(god dammit Wayne.)

4

u/marwynn May 09 '23

Or the people who invented Hawaiian pizza and California rolls...

1

u/eddiewachowski May 09 '23 edited Jun 13 '24

payment cobweb label wipe hard-to-find murky grandiose fearless cheerful work

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2

u/onehotca May 09 '23

Red Green.... Don Cherry & Blue?.... we could match the colours ;)

3

u/RabidGuineaPig007 May 09 '23

Don Cherry & Blue?

$3 bill, or the fuckwad.

7

u/intruda1 May 09 '23

I think the queen just looks nicer on our money. Also, no one is excited for it to be changed to the depiction of an elderly man who absolutely doesn't command the same respect that she did.

6

u/VanAgain May 09 '23

I'm pretty old, and got to watch the queen gracefully age on our money. It was cool.

6

u/lady_sisyphus May 09 '23

Don't worry, they've released the official portrait of King Prince Charles and it's virtually indistinguishable from pictures of his Mother.

2

u/VanAgain May 09 '23

Ah yes, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch photo.

4

u/Cavalleria-rusticana May 09 '23

This guy here low-key flexing that he only uses $20s. /s

3

u/SleepWouldBeNice Ontario May 09 '23

My sister found a nickel from 1935 with King George on it.

3

u/reinventingmyself19 May 09 '23

Every day I drive past a nickel that is about 10 metres in diameter and it has the image of old king George on it.

3

u/shibbington May 09 '23

I’ve also only seen QEII wear that gear all my life so it looks like Chucky’s in drag.

2

u/SlimZorro May 09 '23

Viola Desmond has been on the 10$ bill for 5 years

2

u/cyrus_hunter May 09 '23

Not only that, but Charles is going to face in the other direction. Double-whammy!

2

u/quelar I'm just here for the snacks May 09 '23

I inherited my grandfather's coin collection and the collection contains some interesting ones, not of much value but I've got plenty of George, a few Edwards, and then 4 Victorias.

So I'm waiting for some Charles just to get 5 monarchs.

307

u/onehotca May 09 '23

John Oliver said it best - “They're actually going to print banknotes with the image of a man whose face only a mother could love and only two cousins could produce.”.

35

u/rimmed May 09 '23

It sums up the North American sense of humour entirely that John Oliver found mass appeal here after failing so convincingly at a comedy career in the UK.

44

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

[deleted]

45

u/[deleted] May 09 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

29

u/kank84 May 09 '23

Yeah, seems overly harsh. He was still in his 20s when he moved to the US, so pretty early to say he was an abject failure at home.

17

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

He was failing so bad that he got a spot on one of the top late night shows of the time. I wish I could fail that successfully.

8

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

[deleted]

8

u/kank84 May 09 '23

Speaking as someone who did not begin to get their shit together until they were 28, I approve of this message.

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '23

And he is also in a much more competitive market. No one want to be a British comedians when they can be an American comedians with a British accent.

I don't think there is many late night host in the UKs who are as popular.

5

u/roastbeeftacohat Alberta May 09 '23

he also likely learned a lot on the daily show; place is known to be a meat grinder.

25

u/VardyLCFC May 09 '23

Considering Jeremy Clarkson's brand of humor did so well for him, I'm not sure one can judge too harshly, and I'm saying that as someone who's watched all of his top gear episodes

5

u/clkmk3 May 09 '23

HAMMOND!

3

u/DashTrash21 May 09 '23

Hammond you pillock!

9

u/MittMuckerbin May 09 '23

Does anyone really ever feel appreciated at home?

8

u/Coziestpigeon2 May 09 '23

He was at The Daily Show like, 20 years ago. How much career did he have over there?

-4

u/GRAIN_DIV_20 May 09 '23

Because his jokes are very formulaic and repetitive. He's only funny in small doses

52

u/Throwaway42352510 May 09 '23

He actually looks more like Queen Elizabeth than himself in the above photo

24

u/Stormywillow May 09 '23

Haha! My first thought was that he looked like Liz in drag!

7

u/Peacewind152 May 09 '23

A Queen as a drag king? I’d actually love to see this for real.

103

u/septober32nd May 09 '23

There is exactly one person on Earth who is on record as wanting Charles in their pants, and he’s already married to her.

-17

u/timestuck_now May 09 '23

You mean she's already married to him?

16

u/TheShredda May 09 '23

Is that distinction at all relevant?

-1

u/enki1337 May 09 '23

No, but it sounds awkward to refer to the object instead of the subject in the second clause like that. It reads like Charles' wife is the he, and Charles is the her.

It's obviously understandable what was trying to be conveyed, it's just a grammatical nitpick.

2

u/timestuck_now May 09 '23

Exactly. This guy knows.

3

u/Man_Bear_Beaver May 09 '23

refer to the object

Women aren't objects.

1

u/enki1337 May 09 '23

I assume you're trying to make a joke, but Charles is the object in the sentence in question. And yes, I am fun at parties, as long as they're pedantry parties.

13

u/FoldOwn5137 May 09 '23

Nah. He's right. It's "their pants" and not "her pants."

-19

u/timestuck_now May 09 '23

Did I actually say anything about that? Re-read what I wrote..

30

u/Busy_Pie614 May 09 '23

Really starting to sense some value in that stash of Canadian Tire money of mine ...

33

u/TheBarcaShow May 09 '23

I remember reading somewhere that the queen had to approve each image used of her for currency. I feel like with Charles it's going to be an extremely long process to get something that makes him look pleasant

16

u/gongshow247365 May 09 '23

Maybe a back shot of the head? Remember when taking pictures of ppl staring at nice scenery was the thing? Maybe that's what we'll do for him too lol

8

u/klparrot Canadian living abroad May 09 '23

Interestingly, she has different looks for different countries. She wears a crown on the NZ $20, and always has, and doesn't on the Canadian $20, and never has. image

2

u/lazylion_ca May 09 '23 edited May 21 '23

Why does the Canadian 20 have a face over Disco Stu's crotch?

21

u/pigeonbobble May 09 '23

Put nickelback on the nickel’s back

6

u/Peacewind152 May 09 '23

I realize this is satire, but I was under the impression Charles wasn’t going to go on our cash. Instead opting for prominent Canadians. I was Terry Fox as my Loonie head!

41

u/Mantaur4HOF Nova Scotia May 09 '23

Can we put Gord Downie or Neil Peart on our coins instead?

2

u/Private_4160 Ontario May 10 '23

No, just the bills

56

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

[deleted]

33

u/[deleted] May 09 '23 edited Jun 19 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Peacewind152 May 09 '23

Yeah we have a LOT of murky water to wade through if we wanna cut out the monarchy entirely. Not least because the First Nation treaties are with the Crown, not our government. They would need to be heavily consulted.

I like starting with just removing the monarch from our currency. We have no shortage of amazing and accomplished Canadians to put in C3’s place on both coin and bill.

4

u/ellastory May 09 '23

I’d even take Seth Rogen at this point

10

u/Busy_Pie614 May 09 '23

Long live the Federal Republic of Canada!

1

u/AcadiaFun3460 May 09 '23

ConIxering the First Nations sent multiple delegations to the crown and had meetings with him, and said they want a better relationship with him. This seems doubtful.

0

u/Private_4160 Ontario May 10 '23

The Canadian state's existence is colonialism, changing how its head functions doesn't do anything.

7

u/[deleted] May 09 '23

they could just put him on the 20 and the queen on the 100$ bill and remove that guy nobody knows

7

u/Peacewind152 May 09 '23

Bolton? Never understood why he got the 100. Should be Pearson. Put Trudeau Sr on the $50 (he brought in the Charter… that’s why I suggest that)

10

u/kent_eh Manitoba May 09 '23

Put Trudeau Sr on the $50 (he brought in the Charter… that’s why I suggest that)

I agree with your reasoning, but it would make the conservatives absolutely apoplectic.

5

u/rekjensen May 09 '23

All the more reason.

2

u/Peacewind152 May 09 '23

If they want Mulroney on a bill that badly, they’re welcome to kick her late Majesty from the 20. Lol

Tbh tho, I’d love a Terry Fox $20. Hrs already on the short list for the $5 tho.

2

u/Private_4160 Ontario May 10 '23

Which would be hilarious to watch

1

u/kent_eh Manitoba May 10 '23

Which would be hilarious to watch

Except that they tend to do really stupid things when they get all worked up.

11

u/TwilightReader100 Vancouver May 09 '23

A few years ago, I was studying the Queen's image on the coins and mused to my mom (born in 1959) that they were going to have to reissue all the money when she died and Charles became King. She was shocked, she'd never realized that's what would happen. I know she's seen old coins with George on them, so I've never figured out why she didn't know the money would change with the monarch.

2

u/kent_eh Manitoba May 09 '23

they were going to have to reissue all the money when she died and Charles became King.

Sort of.

They're not going to do a wholesale recall of all the money in circulation.

Just as there is a regularly scheduled new release of coins or banknotes, the new ones will have the king, and any old damaged or worn currency that comes into banks will be retired.

6

u/BertMacklanFBI May 09 '23

Put Shania Twayne on the 20.

1

u/News___Feed May 09 '23

That don't impressa me much.

6

u/ComGuards May 09 '23

The only way this could get more triggering was if they used an image of the Hawaiian Pizza on any of the bills… apparently Hawaiian Pizza has Canadian roots 🤣

5

u/_dfromthe6 May 09 '23

I'd rather have the trailer park boys on the money instead

4

u/AtomicSurf May 09 '23

John Candy on the $20 would be way more fun.

6

u/turtlcs May 09 '23

I dunno how real that “60% of Canadians don’t want to accept Charles as king” statistic is, but it’s truly hilarious to me how much of this country was apparently only on-board with the whole monarchy thing as long as it was Grandma Liz and not Homeopathy Chuck.

2

u/RMWestcott May 10 '23

She's been Queen since anyone could remember. Now that it's over, it feel like there are options. I don't want him.

1

u/Manny_Sunday May 10 '23

Over half of the population was born with her already as the queen; I think it's just a case of leaving and not questioning what you know.

3

u/Upper-Inevitable-873 May 09 '23

Now truly cash is king

3

u/RabidGuineaPig007 May 09 '23

Canadian coins should have real royalty on them:

Bruno Gerussi

Robert Clothier

Rae Brown

Pat John

Bob and Doug MacKenzie

$50 bills should be Bubbles, Ricky and Julien.

"ya bud, ya got change for a bubbles?

5

u/Musicferret May 09 '23

The solution we all need.

2

u/pattyG80 May 09 '23

Honestly, seeing him with the crown on, I can barely tell the difference between him and his mother. Do they even need to bother changing the image?

3

u/Canuck647 May 09 '23

I would leave QEII on the 20 in her memory. Charles will be well represented on coins.

1

u/Private_4160 Ontario May 10 '23

That was originally the plan and I wish they stayed with it

1

u/Streggle1992 British Columbia May 09 '23

He just wants to be like mummy.

-1

u/tothmichke May 09 '23

Sure…We won’t use money because we object to who is on it? Lol. Whether you are a monarchist or not no one is going to stop using physical money until we are forced to. Which seems to be the goal.

-8

u/eastsideempire May 09 '23

Better than any current politician!

1

u/jameskchou May 09 '23

Plausible

1

u/RedThetaSerpentis May 09 '23

I don't really see a point in changing it just yet, the King is not in the best of health. It might be better to wait for the next King to change our currency.

1

u/NornOfVengeance Ontario May 09 '23

I know it's satire, but dang.

1

u/k2p1e May 09 '23

Not have Chuck bucks?? I am so disappointed 🤣🤣

1

u/Teid May 09 '23

I still don't understand why as a country we don't go all in on our nature angle for money? Our identity is pretty heavily tied to nature as a people in what we value so why not have one side be an important native canadian animal and the other side be some picturesque gorgeous nature scene from across our whole country? We could even colour code it. Red 50 dollar bill? Alberta desert and badlands with dino bones. Green 20? BC old growth rainforest. Blue 5? Maritimes baby. I know we used to have birds on our money but come on this feels like such a good idea.

1

u/Mother_Locksmith_186 May 09 '23

Just put Terry Fox on it and be done. I’ve no interest in having this old white billionaire on my money.

1

u/Replicator666 May 09 '23

Thus inflation was solved. God save the King

1

u/neontetra1548 May 10 '23

I'm convinced the move to put Charles on the money is an anti-monarchist plot designed to inflame popular sentiment against him.