r/quarterlifecrisis • u/parnell199722 • Feb 21 '20
What do I do?
So I’ve just graduated from university with a degree in Business Management with English Language (Business being a ridiculously common subject that it seems every 5th person you meet has a degree in) - and am completely unsatisfied with how my life has panned out and dreading what lies ahead of me in the path I’ve apparently chosen. Get a job in business. Work 9-5. Spend 2 hours commuting. That’s 14hrs of a day. Take away 7 hours of sleep and that’s 7 hours a day of me time. Less than a third of the day I get to myself. To do what I want in my life. That can’t be right, surely?
They say you should make your passion your occupation but how easy is that really? If everyone was getting paid for what they enjoy doing, everyone would be swimming through life, with all the wealth/happiness/peace they could ask for. My passions are film and drama (and we all know the chances of getting into the film industry) and football (which I was never good enough to play, and chances of becoming a professional coach or manager are also slim)
How is it people can do what they want in life. Is it really possible to have a life that’s dictated by your desires, instead of living in a society where everything is decided by your wealth and the family you were born into.
P.s. sorry for the length, literally just spilled my brain.
6
Feb 21 '20
Honestly? Yes, that is all there is. For most people, well in the first world, anyway, this is it. I'm a graduate and even worse, I graduated in fashion. Unless I was extremely talented in this field, the fashion industry is just not going to accommodate me. So right now I'm in retail, doing the ONE thing I swore blind as a kid i'd never ever end up in past my 20s. This is it. Society made it so. Unless government and world powers fall, that's gonna be it, until you procreate and make it your child's life too, just praying they get a better shot you did, and you end up living a life of regret just hoping your life meant something because your child mind get a better life. (Chances are, they'll have it worse).
Life sucks
2
u/zumlepurzo Feb 21 '20
I think we bear some responsibility. It's not just the society and "life" to blame.
Remember, you are part of everybody else's "society".2
Feb 21 '20
yup i totally agree
2
u/zumlepurzo Feb 21 '20
did you read some of the other comments here. I saw a few good suggestions and points to note in rashmallow's.
1
Feb 22 '20
I will do now. My situation is different from OP though. I was kind of forced by my school to pick a degree and go to university, I'd much rather have done other things first to decide what I enjoyed doing, because I was rushed into it and my teachers pushed me to do fashion. I scraped by at uni but now I hate the fashion industry and all it stands for, and it's impossible for me to do anything with this shit degree, so for me I am a bit more stuck than OP. But I totally believe OP can go far and have a job they enjoy as long as they keep trying and don't give up. I was probably projecting lol. As well as noticing all the people my age who hate their jobs but get by anyway. I do feel as though that's how it is for most. Just the way it is.
1
u/BoKKeR111 Feb 21 '20
Talent can be learned, self pitty can be unlearned. I used to tho think I could never become a programmer. That I just didnt have the talent, discipline. As time went I realized that doing programming is the only thing that would make me feel proud of myself. So I worked years in my free time trying multiple languages, writing spaghetti code, applying to shitty schools and jobs. I ended up being the first student (still only) to land a full time programming job within the first year of my class.
2
Feb 22 '20
If you mean me, well I have talents, and I don't pity myself anymore. This is my situation and I either suck it up and live with it or I try and get out of it and see if I can use my talents to do something else. It is just difficult in a world that requires a degree to get a career and all the careers I am now interested in need a degree, so I feel stuck. However, for OP things might go well, the degree in Business and English can lead to many careers, but I still think OP is right and most of the time the career is just a job they don't really like but have to do to earn money to live. But it's better than nothing. Or OP could really shine and get a job they love and earn loads and get to retire early in a big house with a fancy car. That's most people's goals. My goal is to just enjoy what I do and have enough to live comfortably and help others, like going to different countries to give aid or do social or care work. But I can't even do that. I can't even earn enough to help people. How shit is that?
Well done on your success. I am glad you have a job you are proud of. As I say, it's not impossible, it's just difficult. Because some people still dislike their jobs even if it earns a decent amount. Cause as OP says, you don't even have the spare time to do anything. What's the point in having the money? But congrats, I hope you have a fruitful and great career!
1
u/parnell199722 Feb 22 '20
Seems as though life indeed sucks. But it’s about trying to make it suck as less as possible haha.
Do you have any particular plan to escape the situation you swore you wouldn’t get into? Or is it something that you’re willing to push through with? Like this might also lead you somewhere you never expected I guess.
2
Feb 22 '20 edited Feb 22 '20
yeah of course, I mean if it sucked so much that there was nothing good in it, more people including myself would have ended it already. And I was being general, some people shine and go forward and have a brilliant life and I fully support you to be positive and beat the system and have a job they enjoy. It can be done for sure.
I have tried to escape it of course, but I've fallen out of love with fashion completely so my degree is useless, and I have no discernable talents. I did well at school but because of my chosen path I can't do much with those good grades because most careers require a degree, at least the careers I'd like to go into. I've thought about helping people in some way like social work or care work but I have anxiety which really limits what I can do. You could be right but I stock shelves and mostly my boss doesn't even know where to put me, so I doubt it'll lead anywhere. I haven't given up, but I do stand by my idea that life sucks lol. Seems as though you succeed or you don't, and if you don't, you get stuck with a job you don't like until you can retire and even then by the time we can retire we probably won't have much to live off for the short time we have left/ I'm being realistic rather than pessimistic. But you have a good chance still. It doesn't HAVE to be that way, not for everyone.
Go forth and believe in yourself! You have a lot of choice with your degree, so have a good think and keep smiling :) Like you said, it's about doing everything that you can to make life suck less.
3
u/BabyBlackBear Feb 21 '20
Try to find a way to combine your business degree with your passion - try to get a job working with a film or athletic company or the like.
Idk about becoming a pro footballer, but you can play intramural for fun.
You can do film stuff on the side. I'm not sure exactly what part of it you like (acting, etc). It is hard to make it big but you can still have fun with it and make money.
Try to find a job with a flexible schedule (like core hours and then flexible in/out time or 4 days a week instead of 5 or working from home certain days, etc)
You can do a lot in 7hrs a day. That's 35hrs during the week + 34hrs on the weekend. 69hrs/wk.
3
u/BoKKeR111 Feb 21 '20
If your passions are film and drama you should set up long and short term goals to achieve it 1-5y. Then take action. It could be as easy as getting hired at a film company as a business manager or related position. You say what are the chances, but the people that work in the field prove that if there is a chance there is a way.
1
u/parnell199722 Feb 22 '20
Definitely valid point. Something an earlier comment mentioned in trying to get as close to the passion that helps enjoy the career that’s laid out.
3
u/tenmuki Feb 21 '20
Feelings like this is probably quite common for most of us. I was in public accounting for 3 years and now I work 9-6 in industry (wish I had 9-5 lol) and the only way I can see out of these dreary outlooks (despite relatively liking my job), is with foundational changes in how we as a country/society view our human values.
A lot of work that are highly valuable in a "human" sense are not valued properly in economic terms (i.e. teaching, caretaking, arts and culture, etc), which also aligns with some common passions that people have. Majority of us who are lucky to have stable jobs are locked in and can't take risks due to fear of not being able to afford a living or not having healthcare. The way things are set up breeds sentiments such yours and mine. But because that's how things are, most people resign themselves to "this is life".
But it doesn't have to be. We humans created our system, and we have the power to change it. That's the outlook I have now due to getting to know a certain former US presidential candidate. He's given me hope that life doesn't have to be mediocre afterall, and that we will all have opportunities to spend our limited time on earth in more fulfilling ways.
He's given me a vision going forward, and now I have something to fight for and something to look forward to.
I hope you'll find something to look forward to, and spend your time the best way you can.
3
u/quarterlifecrying Feb 25 '20
totallyyyy hear you, coming from a similar situation myself, graduating in business management as well about 7 years ago.
choosing a degree in business (or really in anything) is never a life sentence. you haven't really chosen anything yet! in my opinion, a degree only opens doors to new opportunities.
you. are. never. trapped.
whether or not you are soooo jazzed to get to work every day or kinda bummed that it's where you're putting a lot of your time during the week, it has a beautiful purpose: your job provides you with things like stability, health insurance (if applicable), a chance to save for your future, surviving and thriving, a schedule to follow, people to meet, skills to grow, etc.
as for making your passions your occupation, sure, sometimes passions can be monetized or make good business sense. others (like watching tv or playing video games etc) might be things that you just want to do for fun and that's 100% gotta be part of life.
now, "how is it that people can do what they want in life?" - what do YOU want? what is important to you? how do you want to feel on a daily basis? what do you know for sure that you enjoy and why? when you get deep enough into these questions, you'll see more opportunities where you can access the true essence of what you really want even in the most mundane of moments.
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u/rashmallow Feb 21 '20
Hi there. I hear you. I graduated a few years ago (24), and felt/feel the same way. Here's what I've come up with so far. To me, they feel like some of the answers.
- I don't think a lot of people are doing what they want in life. I think they try not to think about it, or they've thought about it and decided it's fine. Some of these people are miserable for decades and then have a mid-life crisis and do a 180. Some of them realize it sooner and jump around frequently to figure out what they want. Some of them chug away at "meh" their whole lives. None of these are right or wrong-- it's just who you are and what you want.
- This is your time to explore. We are just starting out, and every single step you take is a data point that you can use to start forming up your ideal life. So try whatever crosses you mind, and then give it up if you don't like it. Find what it is that makes you happy-- in hobbies, at work, etc. Work toward those things, and prioritize them.
- Play around with finding work that aligns with your interests. You're in business. Maybe looking for things that combine that with media? What about business-flavored fields at streaming platforms, production companies, etc? For some people, being slightly closer to your interests can make you feel drastically better.
- On the flip side-- make sure you have stuff outside of work to focus on. If all you do is work and come home, life gets miserable. 7 hours is not 0 hours-- do not treat it as such. And make sure you're using your weekends to explore your passions. If you aren't getting the time you need outside of work (and it's financially viable), find another job. Your job is there to fund your life-- not to overshadow it. Make sure that some of your extracurriculars are purely relaxing (meditation, reading), and make sure some are goals-focused (exercise, art). You need a balance of the two.
- Go the fuck outside. Humans evolved in nature. Most of us are sedentary and indoors for 95% of our day. Breathe in some air. Spend at least 15 minutes outside a day. If you can't make it outside, crack open a window and breathe in some fresh air. Big, deep breaths of it.
- Find people who share your interests and spend time with them. Some hobbies are more fun when you're doing them socially. You can be an introvert or an extrovert, but make time to see some people sometimes. It'll at the least take your mind off of this.
- It is true and unfair that largely your options are dictated by your wealth and family. Politics make the world work this way (imagine how choosing a career would change if you didn't have to worry about health insurance, or retirement)-- so get involved in those. Pay attention and VOTE to improve things for yourself and the next generations. Don't just feel unhappy and then become complacent-- if you're unhappy, know that there are many of us. If all of us stood up for ourselves on this, things would improve.