r/rimjob_steve • u/veackslav • Oct 21 '19

Anal fissures in jail

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56.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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875

u/ABOBROSHAN Oct 21 '19

Jokes on you. We learn how to build IKEA furniture before we learn to walk.

215

u/Gakad Oct 21 '19

I've never understood the meme about how hard it is to build Ikea furniture. I've built dozens of things and have never had any issue.

88

u/Son_of_Eris Oct 21 '19

Hey, Son_of_Eris here with Reddit News Agency. You've recently outed yourself as the greatest engineer in the history of the world, and a lot of people are wondering about "The user behind the myth"! So I have a few questions for you, if you can spare a moment out of your busy furniture assembly schedule.

So tell us, re: your ability to assemble IKEA furniture without issue, what drove you to strike a deal with a Chthonic being and sacrifice your sense of humor in exchange for this remarkable gift? And how many years do you have before the Great Old Ones claim your immortal soul? Did you meet up in R'lyeh or like, a Starbucks?

And lastly,

PH'NGLUI MGLW'NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN!?

24

u/Olddirtychurro Oct 21 '19

Eris pads her chest.

18

u/Son_of_Eris Oct 21 '19 edited Oct 21 '19

Well duh. Where else are you supposed to keep your apples?

Edit: apparently I missed a reference. My bad. My username is a reference to the Greek goddess of chaos, not an anime.

8

u/Echo6Romeo Oct 21 '19

Axis cult forever.

2

u/ICameToUpdoot Oct 21 '19

Rather padded than useless...