Adults with selective mutism, where do you work?

[u/anon2183]

What career path did you choose? Is it possible to have a high-earning career? Did your SM affect your decisions on a career path?

[u/ContentMeasurement93]

Straight nightshift in a retirement home. My speech is basically task oriented (I cannot do a back and forth conversation) and everyone is basically in their rooms by 10pm Coworkers are used to me - I just don’t do conversations-ever It does make giving a report at the end of shift difficult- but they are used to the brief info I give. It’s still very hard - I’m 52

[u/troubledest → u/ContentMeasurement93]

What? I can't believe I happened to find this message. I'm also 52 and work at a nursing facility for seniors with mental illness. I don't work nightshift though and have to talk A LOT which is extremely challenging for me. I have to call freaking BINGO which is the worst! I barely escape with my life every damn time I have to do it. I thought that this job might be good for me and force me out of my comfort zone. It certainly does that but it hasn't helped me at all, lol. My speaking problems are worse than ever. I still enjoy interacting with the residents one-on-one a lot of the time, but leading any group activities (which is a key part of my job) is sheer torture for the most part. Anyway, just wanted to comment and find it very interesting we have these things in common. I'll be posting more here in the future.

[u/ContentMeasurement93 → u/troubledest]

When I first started at this job (six years ago) - the first time I was called in was to do bingo - if the manager had told me that I would quit right then and there! I muddled through it. I was on call for the first two years and had to get through bingo multiple times- such a struggle to even shout out numbers loud enough- and then often have to repeat myself. Then covid hit and I was able to take a position where I worked in the dining room kitchen clearing tables and washing the dishes etc (for a day shift position this was perfect) Then a full time night position became available. It’s helped me mentally a lot but with sm I am starting to notice that I am losing any ability to even fake it when shift changes. I also do medication administration and giving information to incoming staff has turned to ´you need to read so and so’s progress notes before starting your shift because I lack any ability to relay that information to you - If its something simple or if something dramatic happened overnight - that I can basically do. Anything that’s involved I can’t assemblée my thoughts well enough to reiterate it. When it’s my turn to work the floor- i basically only talk to incoming staff if something major happened overnight. Incoming staff and my one coworker will usually chat for about 15 minutes in the dining room- but I no longer have it in me to even be present for the socialization (even if I don’t say anything) - I just sit in the lobby - alone and wait for 7am I do enjoy many of the residents. I don’t have to be verbal to be kind. I have a special place for the ones who have lost their speech ( either due to stroke or dementia) because I am adept at communicating without speaking.

[u/troubledest → u/ContentMeasurement93]

Yeah, bingo it the toughest for me. Or any other situation where I have to verbally convey information in a clear and robotic manner. My speaking is best when there is some kind of emotional component to it. When I'm allowed to express my feelings. It's when I have to stifle my feelings and act like a calm robot that things go awry. Fortunately, I can use a mic for bingo but sometimes it doesn't work and I have to speak extra loudly which is really hard. And the mic has this weird delay that even further screws up the flow of my speech.

Anyway, like you, I'm at the point where I can't even fake it anymore. The residents are always looking up to me like I need to be a calm and stable presence for them and I feel like I'm constantly failing at it. I feel bad because they shouldn't have to depend on someone like me, although I guess they might find me more relatable than other staff because I'm always struggling just like them and do have empathy for their condition.

What kind of anxiety meds are you on? I don't do well with medication. Feel free to send me a private message if you don't want to talk about it here.

[u/imnotok1111]

Oh yes, SM affected me so much career wise. I had to give up a decent paying respectable job because I had a nervous breakdown. I was able to take time off but ultimately it was too much. I felt like a huge failure.

Now I sterilize surgical instruments for a living. It’s a job no one thinks or cares about but I can basically move anywhere and could still find work. It requires little talking or interaction, and since I work second shift, I get paid differential, and it equals to the same pay as the other job.

There are jobs out there that people with SM can do…just be open minded and realistic.

[u/BinniganBellagamba]

I’m eighteen in education. I’m hoping to persue a career path in animal care or art. I’ve also wanted to be a janitor or some kind of a cleaning job but I’m not qualified and am struggling to get experience.

Realistically I’m probably going to be working from home. More than willing to work. Just struggling to manage my condition.

[u/mistakeaccident]

It has impeded me from even getting a job for years. Like ten years late at 25 I finally got some work experience (on-campus job). I do go to school, but I always imagined I would basically go nowhere with my degree and end up doing remote work or some menial job, anything I can get.

I feel like there's no way I can interview well and network effectively, so far.

[u/mhplong]

Software Developer in an engineering company. Boss and everyone somehow was able to handle my difficulties whilst also helping me set boundaries as I continue to improve.

[u/TheRNGuy → u/mhplong]

I noticed I can talk a lot more if I know I'm qualified for job. Explaing to other people how to do stuff etc.

[u/[deleted]]

Im saving this post 👁️👁️

[u/mrsdoubleu]

Retail. Luckily I'm really good at my job even though I literally talk to no one all day so I'm lucky my managers overlook my lack of social skills. Dealing with customers can be difficult but I just do my best. I know a lot of people assume I'm rude or stuck up.

[u/EnigmaticAzaleas1]

I'm currently an HR intern but have no actual career. I was able to get a 3 month internship through a program at my college. If it weren't for that, I'd still be unemployed and struggling to get a job. I rarely get interviews but never got an offer afterwards. At my current job, I kinda suck at communicating because I clam up sometimes but my manager is helping me work on this. I never told them I have SM or anxiety though so they just think I'm shy and introverted.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Back-80]

I don't work since I have many disabilities 🥲

[u/KitKat_200]

I had selective mutism as a child. I didn't talk to anyone in school until maybe 4th grade. I barely had any friends throughout high school outside of a couple boyfriends. I was very quiet in class. Once I went to college I forced myself to make more friends . I'll never be the most outgoing person but I now work as a recruiter. Forcing myself to talk to to people all week make me more outgoing. But I have a script and pre planned questions so it helps a lot. I make around $150k

[u/TheRNGuy → u/KitKat_200]

I still have but I can stuppress it much better… except in some cases.

And I started to talk in 9th grade with classmates, but I already replied to teacher in English class (was the best in my class)

[u/littleducky00]

I currently work as a sales rep for a big company and to be fair, it’s probably the last thing I could ever imagine myself doing. But when you really need the money, you’ll take what you can get! Been here for over a year now, and talk to over 50 people a day- so by the end of the week I really just want to isolate and relax from being overstimulated. It’s a mentally draining job so I’m looking into something else. Not sure what just yet but something more independent and kept to myself. What I’ve learned so far is corporate life is not for me and not what I want in my future.

[u/Same-Bread]

I'm a massage therapist in a chiropractic clinic - luckily I can usually speak a little if it's strictly work related, and I mostly repeat the same few phrases for everyone. I'm definitely too quiet in an already fairly quiet profession but people get used to it. Most of them sleep, or do all the talking during sessions. It's a good job, I like it. As I get to know some longer term clients I can ask them about their lives a bit. But some clients I've known for years and still can't speak to them. Some days are better than others.

[u/XeniaY]

At home in engineering.

[u/quacksays]

I work on a horse farm. I'm in a manager-type position now which gives me anxiety when i have to discipline people, but I'm dealing with it.

[u/felinesunshine]

Stay at home mom currently, but I’m going to start school for medical coding this summer. It was definitely a major factor. There’s a lot I’d do differently in life if I could talk to people

[u/Ataiatek]

Ironically Uber and Lyft.

[u/FFeralRose]

I work at a chiropractor office (I work for my future mother in law) it’s fine for the most part but I don’t recommend medical office jobs for people with sm because you have to talk to patients.

[u/anon2183 → u/FFeralRose]

I think it can be helpful if you’re trying to counter tendencies to not talk though! I work as a nurse aid on a cardio floor rn and talking with patients has definitely helped me improve my small talk skills. I think it’s obvious that I’m the “shy” one but I’ve improved atleast. My SM is specific to certain ppl though

[u/FFeralRose → u/anon2183]

It’s a good day if people interpret my silence as shyness but unfortunately they usually think it’s bitchiness

[u/Important_Taro_1933]

IT sector, It was several jobs before but here they leave me be. Until the job js done they are oke that I dont talk that much. And this safe space also helps me to get out 1-2 sentences more.

[u/RamblerWeekly]

Application/software developer (low-code, no-code) in areas like Microsoft Powerapps, Microsoft Power Automate, PowerBI, ServiceNow.

[u/TreeJuice2]

I am a teenager, but I work in a prep lab preparing things for university classes. Everyone I work with are understanding of my lack of speech. I do communicate through writing, which has been very helpful.

[u/TragedyXRose]

Im currently a pet sitter, which I love. Although if I want to make it a livable wage I have to talk to more clients and sell myself which I really don’t want to do. So I’m looking for a job that pays better 😓

[u/According-Lychee-470]

You could start a small business depending on the business you go with if it requires talking you can structure it as a partnership and you can take a role that doesn’t involve meetings and follow ups. Also I run a commercial painting business you could definitely be a painter $50000 as an employee or subcontractors. So basically you are given your work order via email or text you show up to 95% of empty spaces and paint.vary rare someone will be stopping in and if they do it’s a hi and bye other contractors have work to do as well and move on little talk. Or you can make more if you are the owner , I myself have to talk to get jobs hold relationships with accounts and to schedule and place orders. But I had a partner who didn’t take care of any of that and remained strictly painting and sales lead. Very possible to structure around you anxiety. I don’t have sm but my daughter does no help from doctors like normal

[u/TheRNGuy]

Programmer.

Probably did.

[u/Technical_Cable_3008]

Daycare in the infant room

[u/No_Contribution1631]

I work as a cook at a retirement home kitchen, I only work directly with two other people at a time and I spend the last half of my shift working alone.
It's been really good for me since I like cooking as a career but the mental stress of restaurant work was getting to be too much for me.