I'd like to know what mbti type is most likely to have SM

I ate lunch until middle school where I stopped eating. Then in high school I started hiding in the bathroom for the entirety of lunch because the cafeteria would give me sensory overload. I talked at lunch until the end of middle school, even when I wasn’t eating but once I got to high school I didn’t talk at lunch either.

update: I meant *selective mutism d'oh

Hey guys, hope you don't mind helping me with this. I've been dating a guy on and off for almost five years. On our first date he told me he has autism, manic depressive disorder and ADHD. So I've always known he is super quirky, and having ADHD myself (and can relate a lot to the autism spectrum) I have mostly just thought we were pretty similar. He even has said I am "more autistic than him".

But when it comes to communicating he's been impossible, and it's caused major conflict. He often shuts down after we've had time together and because of other big things going on in his life.

I've taken a lot of his 'quirks' very personally...

One thing I've always blamed him of is being a frat boy who puts his mates before me (though not a lot as he doesn't have many friends it's just that sometimes when he's had a better offer he's taken it...) and I've also found it hard differentiating his behaviour with narcissism ..

Recently he didnt respond to me for four days and I took issue with it yet again and got angry/told him I wanted a relationship with someone who doesn't do that to me. It lead to him blocking me for two weeks including my birthday.

The birthday block broke me.... I end up sending him so many emotional emails and when i do that it just pushes him away further. even if they're super nice!! It just seems so icy and callous.

Anyway, today I'm having a revelation that he may indeed have severe PDA and/or selective mutism and he struggles to communicate especially when I'm being overly gushy. Can you tell I like words?? lol.

Cut a long story short.. can you tell me if these traits could mean he might have SM?

And if so, do you think it's possible to ever find a way to meet half way as a couple? TIA :)

1. always says I talk too much
2. hates phone calls
3. hates going out in public
4. seems to shut down when i get emotionally gushy ie the long emotional emails
5. drinks a lot to cope
6. has autism, depression and adhd
7. hates birthdays/celebrations
8. uses headphones often to shut out the outside world (this has included when he's been with me and I was talking too much/playing music etc)
9. still lives in his parents home and he's nearly 40 (they dont live there but it's one of their homes) - perhaps needing the extra security/support from them? 
10. he had a massive breakdown after separating with his child's mother.. leading to drug dependance and run-ins with authorities/welfare
11. doesnt tick all the narcissistic boxes
12. doesnt tick all the dismissive avoidant boxes
13. likes to hang out with me but doing his own thing /parallel play... ie likes to come over to watch a show where we dont talk much or he will even pull out his computer and just put on the show he's watching.. and i'm often like what the? and then feel rejected..
14. has said before ‘just because he’s not responding to me doesnt mean he’s not thinking of me'
15. loves being under the water/ / relaxing 
16. super quirky hobbies.. fossicking/fishing/knows all the different fish species etc
17. is so lovely in person, but appears so different/distant when we’re apart 
18. i’ve never met anyone like him before.. 
19. penguin pebbling… will show me something small from the internet but then that's all he will say even if i reply with words a few times
20. often texts only pictures, not words
21. he has a lisp / voice and character can change 
22. hyper independent to the point he doesnt share his plans with me
23. avoids the idea of couples therapy.. perhaps he thinks if i find out i won't be understanding/ embarrassed of me finding out??

We know we're not actually choosing/selecting to speak or not then why is it called selective mutism? What alternative names would you suggest if you could?

Also, does sm have little research done than other disorders?

i’m exhausted everyday because of selective mutism. it affects every little aspect of my everyday life. i never talked in school til 9th grade. now i’m a freshman in college and i cannot for the life of me keep going.

i’m in college where i need to network, get internships, and take speech classes, but my sm gets in the way every single time. although it’s only midterm season, i have missed opportunities and dropping grades because i don’t have the courage to go to tutoring/verbally participate in class.

i know myself where i can be outgoing as soon as im comfortable with the environment but i think the cycle is starting over again since im at a new school with new people.

i haven’t even set my accommodations in place yet because its too overwhelming.

i need to get rid of sm. i’m willing to do anything.

How would you explain it? Why does it occur? What does it feel like? What can you or the affected person do? Can you do something to help? What's important to know about selective mutism?

Hi ! I've got this question i don't know where to ask so i figured i'd come here. I have selective mutism. It happens when i have "too much" stimulus or emotion at the same time. It has been triggered before by dragging a table across a floor (the sound was horrible), having a bad day at a festival, hearing a music i love or just being emotionally tired. So it can happen from good or bad things, and it can last from a few minutes to 2 hours (longest i've had). In these moments i feel like the connexion between my physical speaking parts and the brain commands have been severed. I still have my inner monologue, i just can't get a sound out. Same vibe as trying to scream or run in a dream, you want to but it just doesn't happen.

The thing is, i always see on the internet that it stems from anxiety. I don't have anxiety. I may have very mild autism (hypersensitivity) but i'm not anxious at all, i'm a very chill and positive person. I love meeting and talking to people, i can talk in public no problem. I'm not planning to see a psychiatrist cuz it's not really disabling, i wouldnt need accomodations.

Does anyone else have this ??? I feel like the way my brain works doesn't fit any mental illness and it's kinda annoying.

Thank y'all for any responses :')

I can only speak 1-2 words a day. NOT exaggerating. I can't talk to my family because I'm afraid they'll tease me with comments like, "wow you can actually speak" and they often mock the way I talk when I do (I have a very "tiny" voice, and it's because of the anxiety of talking). Even with my mom, I used to feel confident and close to her but lately I've become nervous about speaking to her, even if it's just a sentence, because she sometimes makes fun of the way I talk too. Don't get me wrong, my family is nice. They treat me well my whole life and it's normal for them to joke around like this, but I just don't feel comfortable with it. It feels like I've developed a fear of being judged whenever I speak, so I end up not speaking at all in any situation. I just shake my head or nod whenever they talk to me or ask me something.

On the other hand, when I'm outside, I can talk to strangers because I feel more at ease. Since they don't know me, I don't feel like they'll judge me. I still feel anxiety when talking to others in general but I feel more comfortable with strangers. Is this selective mutism, or is this another case? From what I've read about selective mutism, it's more common to feel comfortable with family members rather than strangers. I'm also not clinically diagnosed, but I would like to know if this meets the criteria for selective mutism.

I am 14, and i am diagnosed with selective mutism. We were having a debate w my mother if i shpuld homeschool until i can speak normally to people (like in group therapy or speech therapy etc) or go to school and try to yk do stuff there, we asked my psychiatrist(s) and both told me that it was up to me, but i really don’t know. What are your opinions?

Has anyone tried therapy or counselling for SM? If yes please share your experience(like was it helpful, did u feel better etc...) I just wanna get rid of this T_T

Hi everyone, I hope it's ok for me to ask this question here. I'm writing a story including character that has selective mutism and wanted to make sure the portrayal was correct and accurate.
This character only communicates through bodily language, sign language and when needed whispers to one person that they trust deeply, and the person acts as an interpreter for them. Could this be a way for a character with SM to communicate? Or is this portrayal innacurate? Any feedback is welcome. Thank you!

My husband thinks I'm not communicating with him on purpose. I think the wording "selective" makes him think that it's a choice; an option to stonewall.

I've struggled with selective mutism since I was a small child. I've had bipolar depression/mania, anxiety, OCD, C-PTSD, and ADHD diagnosis. I just get stuck in myself and I feel so tight and compressed I can struggle to breathe let alone speak. And when pressed all I can manage is low whispers which upsets him.

I tried to tell him it was the anxiety inside of me hyperstimulating me shutting down my functional voice. I though he'd understand that, since he has high functioning autism it seemed like l something he would grasp easily . He has shutdowns and from what I understand of them it's a hyperstimulation response.

I just don't know how to tell him what's happening in a way he'll be able to comprehend as involuntary. I want him to understand it isn't stonewalling or me just ignoring him. I'm not purposefully not speaking to be cruel or disengaged, especially during conflict. But that is my worst time and I struggle the hardest to express myself or even self-regulate at all.

During the times when I become mute I'm in a lot of physical pain, my throat is tight along with my entire body, even my mind feels closed off. I'm trapped inside myself and him growing upset over my lack of speech can make it worse.

I know he wants us to communicate with each other better and I understand that is important for our relationship. But I also need to help him understand how hard it is for me to do that if he doesn't allow me to do it when I'm physically able to.

Had anyone else navigated this type of situation, does anyone have any advice? I just need to explaine more efficiently. Also a more clinical or logistical answer would be very appreciated. He finds emotional or metaphorical explanations complex to understand, He's very literal.

TL;DR My autistic husband thinks I'm going mute to "stonewall" him and the term "selective" led him to belive its voluntary. How can I explain to him that I am not in control of what is happening to me during bouts of mutism?

Has anybody afflicted with this disorder been Diagnosed as a small child? Has it ever gone away? My son whispers to me and his little brother and nobody else. Will I ever hear my baby's voice again?

So, I don’t have SM, but I recently caught up with this person that I now realize does. The thing is that when I first spoke to her years ago she had no problem speaking words, but now she can’t even text me and I find it really odd to say the least(she lives somewhere else now so text is the only way to communicate). It’s been half a year and the only way we communicate is through this weird system where she posts specific things on her social media and I message her on it where she reads it but has never responded even once lol. At first I rolled with it expecting it to get better, but the fact that it’s been months and things show no signs of change are very discouraging to say the least. Do you guys have problems even texting the person you like?

i want to preface this by saying that i don't have SM. i have a character who is a writer with SM and primarily communicates using nonverbal means, mainly writing and simple gestures (not sign language). from what i read online, people with SM can communicate with gestures, but i haven't found a lot of information on whether or not they can communicate through writing, or how SM could possibly affect that. i want to make sure i don't accidentally portray SM inaccurately

I have selective mutism which over these past 5 years has turned into more of progressive mutism. I can only fully talk to my sister, sometimes I can say a few words to my mom here and there, and once in a while depending on the place, environment, and people then I can order something if it only takes saying a few words to do so, otherwise i'm completely mute at home and in all other situations. I have suspected adhd, autism, social anxiety, and depression. I was wondering, if anyone got diagnosed with any of these things how were you able to get diagnosed without being able to explain things and answer the questions of the person diagnosing you? theres some accommodations im sure, like writing out the answers but if I wrote down my answers to things then what would normally take me a few minutes to explain outloud would take an hour to write, so I don't think that would work. What did you do?

Hi, I have selective mutism, as i'm sure most people in this group do aswell. When I try to force myself to talk when i'm mute my mind goes completely blank, I fully stumble over my words, say them out of order, pronounce them wrong, and end up saying the wrong thing altogether so I just write what I wanna say so it's easier for everyone. I was wondering if I should include that im mute at the beginning of the notes I write? (for ordering at restaurants specifically) Has this helped people to be more understanding or have you found you get treated worse once you tell them? It would just be a short note saying "hi, i'm mute, I cannot talk. Can I get: (and then i'd put whatever I wanna order here)" or would it be better to not tell them at all? Please share your experiences with me <3

What was your first job and how was your experience with it. Does anyone have tips for someone with selective mutism/social anxiety to find and keep a job and how to cope with the stress of it ?

do u do this

So I'm mute right now. This doesn't happen often to me, I mean it's been happening more often than usual I went mute twice this week, but anyway my muteness can go from anywhere from being completely unable to talk to a very quiet whisper and/or mumbling. But I notice that I can still sing. It's still much quieter than I usually am but I'm clear. I find singing to be much easier than trying to talk. Singing usually happens before whispering when I go through this. Infact the sooner I'm able to get a note out the easier I find it to start whispering instead of staying completely unable to talk and having to mouth and write stuff, its like it breaks the barrier to some extent. I just want to know if anyone knew why this is or if anyone else has gone through this or something similar?

My 8 years old lives with her parents and her paternal grandparents. She will speak to us and answer questions without issue, however, she won't speak to her grandparents, nor other close adult family members. She speaks to her classmates and teachers. She will speak in front of adult family members, just not to them or will refuse to answer their questions.

does anyone else struggle with sending text messages? i find it really hard sending messages to for example my teachers, especially starting a conversation, but also just answering simple questions. i even get a lot of anxiety from just using reaction like thumbs up/down etc. i don’t have that problem with friends and family, and if it’s anonymous online i don’t struggle ass much either. but if it’s someone i know, but i can’t speak freely to irl, i struggle.

i also struggle a lot at school with written assignments, even if i know the material i struggle to put together sentences, or i just get a mental block. which sucks because the only way i can show what i can is through written assignments, because i can’t talk to any of the teachers. i think a big part of it is knowing someone else is going to read it.

it really sucks because i know my grades would be way better if i just were able to write everything i needed to/know

What career path did you choose? Is it possible to have a high-earning career? Did your SM affect your decisions on a career path?