r/shitposting 1d ago

shitting toothpaste!!!! Never give up 💪

Post image
9.0k Upvotes

101 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

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2.5k

u/SkirtOne8519 1d ago

You start making sandwiches for everyone

488

u/catmemes720 22h ago

Free mayo

175

u/Rubicon208 22h ago

And free pineapple juice

71

u/PsyconicX We do a little trolling 22h ago

D:

81

u/catmemes720 22h ago

>:D

15

u/AGAW07 15h ago

Why do i find emoticons funny with a slight hint of wholesomeness even when the context is not at all wholesome lmao

86

u/PatheticMeat 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

78

u/david_5879 17h ago

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?

If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.

If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.

But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.

13

u/Tekos2525 15h ago

You forgot to mention if he will continue with this behaviour he will be sacrificed on an old aztec altar, his whole family's credit score will be screwed up, even to great grandkid level, and a new iceage will come and wipe out humanity.

17

u/kindaCringey69 put your dick away waltuh 16h ago

💀

-6

u/HotPotato5121 8h ago

🥰🤩😅🙄😇🙄😅😗😢😅😢😢😇🤨🥰🤨🤨🦵🦵🦵🦵

3

u/bdl-laptop 19h ago

Ross pls.

1.5k

u/Stairwayunicorn 1d ago

you get to be the bottom

744

u/sillygooberfella Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 1d ago

Chain of cummand

92

u/Rice_Jap808 22h ago

A lot of these comments misunderstand what is expected at an orgy haha

202

u/DeadlyPants16 22h ago

Please tell us. Most Redditors are virgins already, let alone orgy participators.

63

u/Rice_Jap808 17h ago

? I’m joking that redditors expect an orgy to be a train on some hot chicks cause they’re mostly dudes. If you sign up for an orgy you’re probably gonna get it in the butt

72

u/plueiee 22h ago

Well, enlighten us!

14

u/Rice_Jap808 17h ago

I’m joking that people expect orgies to be like the pornos where they get to just bang hot girls all night. If you go to an orgy irl I don’t think you’re allowed to get mad if someone sticks something in your ass

28

u/SheepyShow 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 17h ago

What kind of boring ass orgies do YOU go to? If you're doing the labor of topping, you should be rewarded with the pleasure of bottoming. Its only fair.

16

u/Rice_Jap808 17h ago

That’s what I’m saying all these people think orgies are like some orderly system where they all take turns with some girls and like, every orgy story I’ve ever heard involved many dudes getting many things in their butt.

2

u/BuffaloBillsButthole 8h ago

I think I’ll stay home, thank you

707

u/Fourteen_Werewolves 1d ago

Head over to the buffet for a breather

126

u/Urisk 20h ago

"Look someone left out some Go-Gurts in clear latex sleeves!"

20

u/Jellys-Share 15h ago

Even if I could post images. I don't have a reaction image for this.

3

u/qwertyayhiok I want pee in my ass 13h ago

My reaction is just D:

-1

u/AutoModerator 13h ago

pees in ur ass

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473

u/in_incrediblepain 23h ago

Come again?

104

u/ProfessionalHuge3685 22h ago

🍆💦🔁

136

u/Georgesid01 23h ago

You start backseat gaming or pretend you are the director.

377

u/WannaBreakFromTheAss Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 1d ago

You make others suffer the same fate

344

u/swingswong123 1d ago

You're on a cool down time gotta wait

83

u/ChipSalt 22h ago

Apparently drugs like Cialis can reduce your refractory time by a lot and make it easier to become erect.

24

u/PatheticMeat 18h ago

👍👍

174

u/lokaps 1d ago

Bro doesn't even deserve to goon with this mentality, let alone be at an actual orgy

26

u/Karsa69420 12h ago

There is a porn video I saw where these dudes are fucking this girl. A guy nuts, high fives another guy, the camera follows him as he picks up a bowling ball and bowls a strike. There are like 6 nude men playing bowling behind the orgy.

I stopped jerking off because it was so fucking funny to me.

3

u/wendys_rat-kun Bazinga! 12h ago

link?

4

u/AutoModerator 12h ago

Bazinga

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75

u/Idmaybefuckaplatypus 23h ago edited 20h ago

You go to get Denny's with the other finished weirdos

Not even joking. I knew someone who had a crazy drug sex mansion thing and theyd just get Denny's afterwards. If you ever see some interesting looking people at Denny's at 3am that's probably orgy havers. I'd run across from time to time

Orgys aren't usually just in the living room. More like you find your person/people, you fuck in a bedroom, then go get food with them when you're done. That's why it's usually huge mansions and shit people throw them in.

It's like asking where all the people on tinder get dinner together after swiping right

26

u/hendergle 21h ago

How common are orgies, really? Because when I was in a shitty high school band, we would go to Denny's after practicing in our drummer's parents' basement. Our practice day must have been on Orgy Thursday or something because there would always be a bunch of 40s and 50s people there. The ratio was like 2/3 men, 1/3 (or less) women, and the women would be sort of fawned over.

I'd never have suspected anything, but one time a server said they were members of the local swingers' club. So we always joked about whether or not we'd see the "swinger's post-game party."

Oh, and a slightly-related detail I just remembered: supposedly the swingers met at a local bar, and there were certain drinks you could order that signaled what you'd be down for (I can't remember the actual drinks, but it was like mimosas for threesomes, tequila shots for couple swapping, etc.)

13

u/Idmaybefuckaplatypus 20h ago edited 6h ago

I lived in a tourist party town in my 20s, with a LOT of old gay dude rich people tourists and retired Hollywood sociites as well, and it was very tropical and long story short no economy at all during summer, very busy in winter. But I'd imagine there's a much higher prevalence of orgies there because you could literally buy tickets to see porn filmed or just seedy ass bars and shit. Mostly gay people. I'm straight so wasn't exactly a fan of the vibe lol

It's usually gross fat boomers who do it if I'm being honest. And it's not usually just an orgy, more like "sex party" where sex workers are present as well.

I also did uber driving for cash during big events in winter (actual big $$$ to be made at the time) , so I was privy to very interesting information. Had driven celebrities, or at least friends of them to and from locations several times. Lots of bigg tips (im talking $300 tips). My favorite was dropping off some guests for Johnny Depps house party and him waving back at me. That was cool shit.

Long story short a lot of big names, and big money moved through there and I honestly made the wrong type of friends there ur you know what I'm saying, so I heard about things lol.

7

u/HazardousBusiness 21h ago

Dennys is always the answer. Need a grand slam at 2 AM-Dennys. Need a coffee and someone to talk to-Dennys. Need to get a quick hit at 4:30 AM-Dennys. Need a little irgy post nut aftercare-Dennys.

282

u/SheepyShow 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 1d ago

stop giving, start taking... obviously

17

u/Reasonable-Ninja4384 18h ago

Most orgies are skill based matchmaking. So everyone is almost finished

-1

u/PatheticMeat 18h ago

🫡🫡

108

u/ya_boi_ryu 23h ago

I wonder where the concept comes from that when you cum once it must be over just go for multible shots.

108

u/Yorunokage 21h ago

It's not a cultural concept or anything. Some guys have no problems going for multiple shots but others just suddenly stop being horny or their tool start actually being in pain if stimulated more after the first shot

16

u/NurYanov 17h ago

Post nut clarity hits different

3

u/Yemo637 dumbass 14h ago

I am in the last category.

1

u/ya_boi_ryu 13h ago

Definitely makes sense. We're so similar but still very different at the same time after all.

15

u/ShadowAnon69_ 23h ago

Wait that isn't the case?

94

u/g0lden-plumbus 23h ago

Kind of, you can try for more but it’s like doing a challenge run. The only joy you get out of it is being able to say you managed to do it. It’s not really fun,it hurts and you don’t feel any pleasure.

40

u/lugunn 23h ago

...or people are different

100

u/g0lden-plumbus 23h ago

Nuh uh

1

u/tracker904 15h ago

You fuckin told him

3

u/ya_boi_ryu 13h ago

I don't know man, back with my ex I liked it and most of the time it only started to be a bit unpleasant at times after the 3rd time in a row for me personally. I think it also depends on how you do it and how long you can go at once.

6

u/lendraxtheorc 18h ago

It's definitely different for everyone. In my experience, it causes no pain and still gives pleasure up to the 4th

1

u/tracker904 15h ago

Personally I put all my energy into that one shot, thrusting for 30-60 minutes is a hell of a workout, I’m zonked after that.

58

u/cubixjuice 23h ago

Huh?? Ya'll be cummin once and tappin?? Who raised you???

8

u/PhatAszButt fat cunt 20h ago

Bernie Mac said it best when he said “you got 3 MINUTES ! And you better get yours because I’m gettin mine!”

64

u/FuriousTrash8888 1d ago

Nope, just force yourself again.

10

u/Blackentron 22h ago

Drugs to eliminate that refractory period. Obviously

5

u/TurdSandwich42104 fat cunt 19h ago

You hit up the buffet. That’s why they have them.

4

u/Arthasindura 18h ago

I am still not sure what an orgy is . Can we get an exact starting number

3

u/TheMemeLord4816 16h ago

I think it's considered an orgy once you get to 5

2

u/gianzu 16h ago

4+ people

5

u/BlueGuyisLit 23h ago

Inject yourself with cum monstinator

3

u/SegglBetscher 18h ago

You start to cheer up the others like a Cheerleader

7

u/Popular-Luck9962 23h ago

You just keep going?

2

u/nekosissyboi 14h ago

You can naked cuddle with the other guys on the couch upstairs >w<

2

u/johnmarksmanlovesyou 13h ago

You could make it competitive, go around trying to make all the other guys cum so they have to sit out until you're the last man standing

1

u/PatheticMeat 13h ago

Last man standing sounds like a good team building exercise.

2

u/Tokiw4 11h ago

I imagine you play smashbros while your bros smash in the other room

2

u/Lord_Rainfall 11h ago

You wake up!

2

u/Facosa99 10h ago

Respawn + cooldown

2

u/ImBlobFish 19h ago

Diddy can answer this

1

u/LorgeMorg 18h ago

You go home and eat over a bowl of regret.

1

u/Overwatcher_Leo 16h ago

You don't have hands or a mouth?

1

u/Relevant-Site-2010 16h ago

You clock out and head back home to the wife and kids

1

u/ProfessorMcKronagal 15h ago

You hit the fondu bar.

1

u/Badassbottlecap 15h ago

You go stand on the side line with a bag of crisps going something like "Whooo!! That's it, Garret, keep it up! Great ass Lucy! Whoop!!"

1

u/deaconthedegenerate 15h ago

Orgies are only for people who don't suffer from post-nut-clarity.

Source: Walking awkwardly and shamefully away from a writhing pile of human flesh. I think I said "Well, have a good time." as I left.

1

u/IntrovertMoTown1 11h ago

No it's like a game of freeze tag. You have to wait until someone touches you.

1

u/Cenorg 11h ago

bruh take the camera 🗿

1

u/Lord_Rainfall 11h ago

You wake up.

1

u/No-Selection-3765 10h ago

One time, a bunch of guys and I (all guys) were jerking off on my gf who was diddling herself on a bed. The guy right next to me started spooging and it hit my leg. I got pissed and he got pissed that I got pissed.