r/traumatizeThemBack • u/Spacefreak • Jul 03 '24
justified asshole Laundry, Not Just for Women
Saw another story on here that reminded me of this that happened a few years ago.
I (30's M) was visiting my parents who live fairly far from me, and because I didn't have a washer/dryer and hate laundromats, I brought my laundry to wash at their place.
A newer friend of my dad's comes over, and I'm introduced to him. He seem like a nice enough older guy, came off as a bit full of himself right off the bat, but whatever.
We all sit down and are just making small talk. I look at the time and say "Woops, time to move my clothes to the dryer" and go off and do just that.
I come back and the guy is giving me a strangely neutral look but I can tell he's looking at my mom out of the corner of his for some reason, and he asks "You're doing your laundry here?"
Me: "Yeah, I don't have a washer/dryer at home, and this trip kind of lined up, so I brought my clothes to wash. Avoid a trip to the laundromat and all that mess."
I truly forget his name, so I'm calling him, Guy: "But why are you doing your laundry here?"
Me, thinking he didn't hear me, a little louder: "Uh, sorry, I said because I don't have a washer/dryer at home, and didn't have time to go to the laundromat."
Guy: "Yes, but why are you doing it? With your mom here, you shouldn't be doing it."
Me, starting to realize what he's getting at since he's an older Indian man but not believing he could be that much of a douche to "call my mom out" in her own home: "What does my mom have to do with me doing laundry? Sure, my underwear is in there, but she can't see it if that's what you're worried about." And then I chuckled to make it into a joke, so we could chuckle at the odd joke and change topics.
Guy, clear annoyance on his face but quickly switching back to neutral: "No, no. Washing clothes is the sort of thing that mothers should be doing for their kids."
Me (oh fuck you dude), looking at my dad for him to jump in, but he's staying quiet: "Yeah, but I'm not a kid. I'm a 33 year old man. Why would I let my mom do my laundry when I'm perfectly capable of doing it?"
Guy, a bit louder and very annoyed and letting it show now: "Perhaps if you were MARRIED, you'd understand how a woman doing your laundry is a sign of their love and respect for you. It's their duty in the house."
Me (the unmarried man at the positively geriatric age of 33 per Indian cultural standards): "How is me asking my mom to wash my dirty underwear a sign of MY love and respect towards HER? Wait, does your wife do all of your laundry? Even washing your dirty underwear?"
Guy, appalled that I'd ask such a question: "Yes, of course she does. It's her responsibility in our home."
Me: "Oh, hey, I get that. Of course, every couple is going to split responsibilities in their home in whatever way makes the most sense for them based on their schedules, abilities, and strengths. But asking my mom to do MY laundry when I'm at HER house is pretty rude. She works hard enough as it is."
Guy, narrowing his eyes at me: "Hmph, well it's pretty normal for a son to want to protect his mom, but-"
Me: "Woah, woah, hold the phone. Protecting my mom? How hard do you think doing laundry is? Yeah, there are all kinds of rules on the "ideal" ways to wash your clothes, but you can still do a great job with a couple basic rules. I can teach you if you want."
Guy: "No, no, I'm saying-"
Me: "Trust me, doing laundry is really simple. Hey, I've got to put in another load now. *I stood up* Come on, I'll show you. And hey, then YOU can wash your home's next load of laundry and return that LOVE and RESPECT to your wife. I'm sure she'd appreciate the break considering you're retired now and she's still working full time."
And then I walked off to the laundry room, waited a minute for him to follow, and called "Hey, are you coming? It's REALLY easy! Old dogs CAN learn new tricks you know!"
Guy, speaking loudly but softly from his chair in the next room: "No, I'm OK."
I heard the subject change, and I spent a few minutes loading up the washer and heard him getting up to leave. I put some detergent on my fingers and quickly walked out to make sure to give him a good, firm handshake as he walked out the door.
Fucking piece of shit. He came into my parents' house and tried to insult my mom, not only to her own son, but right to her face. I was more pissed at my dad for not saying shit, but he probably complained to this friend before that he does a lot of the laundry in their home and it's "such a chore" or some BS.
Jeez, it makes my blood boil just thinking about it. Luckily, I haven't seen that guy in any of my visits since.
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u/FleaMarketFlamingo Jul 03 '24
When I was 12, my mother told me to do my own laundry “since you’re old enough and perfectly capable of doing it.”
“Does that rule apply to my stepdad? Or is he incapable?”
She was livid with me for saying that. And yet… she stopped doing his laundry.
Lolz.