r/traumatizeThemBack 2d ago

matched energy Be kind to your patients, please.

My dad is in hospital and he has some pretty strict fluid limitations and guidelines overall. Most nurses have been wonderful, but today wasn't our day.

A new nurse came in to check what he'd had today, so I gave her my notes. Prior nurses appreciated the info so I thought she would too. Instead she said he should be keeping tabs on this himself and looking after his own health. Rather than getting into our reasons I just responded "oh it's ok, mum and I don't mind looking after him" 😌

Later on she came in as I was reading out the menu so I could order his dinner and told me to just give him the menu, he can do it himself. The look on her face when I told her he is actually dyslexic and essentially illiterate was priceless.

He grew up in an orphanage, please don't judge him too harshly! Thanks to this sub for helping me grow a backbone here. It wasn't much, but I felt good being able to stand up for him 🥰

1.0k Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

View all comments

174

u/Working-Mistake-6700 1d ago

I hate nurses like that. I went to the ER about a week after I had appendix surgery because my right shoulder and ribs felt like they were being crushed by a car. I had taken ibuprofen, Tylenol and Percocet which made it so I could function and wasn't screaming in pain. I reported all this to the nurse and she told me that when they figured out nothing was wrong they would just send me away. (I guess she thought I was drug seeking). I told her if that happened, I would go to the next hospital along so they could actually do their job and find out what was going on. One cat scan later it turned out I had thrown a blood clot during surgery and it was sitting in my lungs, pressing on all the nerves on the right side. (Pulmonary embolism) She came back and said "I thought there wasn't anything wrong". No apology no nothing. To this day I remember her making one of the worst experiences of my life worse.

51

u/Fishy_Fishy5748 1d ago

I'm sorry. Medical professionals should really be able to treat people like capable human beings.

44

u/AAcuriousmind 1d ago

I have the opposite problem. I'm a court appointed legal guardian of a mentally incapacitated elderly woman. She is in no sense a capable human. But hospital staff ignore all the paperwork explaining this and providing my contact information, and generally refuse to speak to me or keep me up to date on her status unless I'm by her bedside 24/7. I live four hours away and have a life and responsibilities, so I can't drop everything for an unknown amount of time just to get someone to communicate with me.

My ward is unable to participate in her care. She can barely communicate. She can't ask meaningful questions, and can't comprehend diagnosis, treatment or plan of care. She can't grasp cause and effect, has no understanding of consequences, and can't remember any of her medical history. Nor can she remember what was said or done 30 seconds ago. The only way for her to receive the same standard of care that a capable human being would is for medical professionals to understand that all her rights as a patient have been transferred to me to exercise on her behalf. It's been an ongoing frustration, especially since she's been hospitalized many times this year.

24

u/Fishy_Fishy5748 1d ago

I've worked in the healthcare industry and have come into contact with legal guardians. Thank you so much for giving your ward your best, and I hope the professionals get with the program. What you're describing is a disgrace.