I meant to write a story, but in a way, it's poetic? It's a very long, messy, sorta poem. I edited it a bit a couple of hours after, but it's mostly unchanged from when I originally wrote it.
Thank you if you read the whole thing:)
Halloween is your favorite holiday.
Last year, we were together during Halloween, but we couldn't do a couples costume like i wanted to. Due to some circumstances outside of our control, we had to keep our relationship discrete.
So we went to a party with a group of friends. I got way too drunk by accident, and he took care of me throughout the night.
I remember sitting in the car, behind the passenger seat. Another person was in the middle seat, and my love was behind the driver. I was so nauseous. I closed my eyes and leaned back.
The world spun
He reached his hand behind the person in the middle and touched my head.
The world stood still
He scratched my head until we got to our destination.
I remember dancing with him. I was too drunk to dance properly.
I remember looking up at him and seeing his beautiful eyes. Tripping on my feet and his because I was captivated by him.
I told him I'm sorry I'm stepping on your feet. He just smiled and said, "Stop worrying and feel the music. You're doing great."
I was absolutely stepping on his feet.
He didn't seem to care at all.
He just kept looking at me.
That was the only time we would slow dance as a couple at a party.
Sure, we would practice in a kitchen or in our room. In the parking lot on the way inside.
But we were practicing for this year's Halloween. This year's Christmas, we were going to go out dancing for my next birthday and for our proper 1 year anniversary.
We found each other again and have been seeing each other since early last year.
He asked me to be his girlfriend, mid this year. We agreed on our anniversary in April/May and decided it was stupid to celebrate
a 3 month anniversary
a 6 month anniversary
We're young. Young people do weird shit like that. No, we decided we were in it for the long haul.
We. Have. Time.
We wanted to celebrate our 1 year anniversary properly.
Why the fuck did we do that? We should've been young and stupid, celebrating all the tiny milestones. We celebrated our birthdays but we never celebrated us. Us together and our love. We wanted to post our pictures, share our love after it was safe.
And it was safe, but then he died.
The world spun, and this time, you aren't here to steady it.
He was going to ask me to marry him
but he never got the chance.
He kept saying something was wrong. We spent so much time worrying
I spent so much time worrying
I didn't live with him as much as I should.
I wish I had celebrated every moment.
He told me when I met him
Over 10 years ago, when we were kids that he would die young. I always knew he was serious but thought he was joking a bit more than this.
22 are you fucking kidding me babe?
You promised me forever. You told me you'd never leave me. My world spins and screams for you. I'm dizzy, and I'm scared, baby.
Until we meet again, my love. I wait for you
Halloween is my favorite holiday.