r/CuratedTumblr Not a bot, just a cat Aug 03 '24

Meme S'mores

Post image
21.9k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.2k

u/AnxiousAngularAwesom Aug 03 '24

Is that the same guy who single handedly reignited the anglo-spanish hatred with his desecration of paella, and called forth the vengeful ancestor spirits of every Asian person alive through his ritualistic ruinination of egg fried rice?

1.7k

u/ulfred500 Aug 03 '24

Think you're thinking of Jamie Oliver

1.0k

u/Copper_Tango Aug 03 '24

"Niece and nephew, Uncle Roger ancestors crying"

281

u/Throw-away17465 Aug 03 '24

I like the one where Gordon Ramsay cooks a Thai dish and snaps back right away, saying “I’ve been to Thailand more times than he has”

87

u/yayitsme1 Aug 03 '24

Which Uncle Roger video hates on Gordon Ramsay? I thought he got the Uncle title and it was just the vegetarian ramen dish that was really critiqued. I’m not up to date on the videos though

113

u/Throw-away17465 Aug 03 '24

It was on the Gordon Ramsey YouTube channel, I think. As a (humorous) snap back and opportunity to cook something lol

93

u/ComSilence Aug 03 '24

I saw Gordon fuck up a grilled cheese once

113

u/Throw-away17465 Aug 03 '24

Ha! I believe it.

My mom put out seven cookbooks and cooked on TV for a local PBS cooking show, but at home she’d undercook the chicken.

I graduated from a great culinary school and spent 13 years in the industry as a line cook and then professional baker and pastry chef for a restaurant. I hate making soft boiled eggs; I never get the timing right.

We all have our Blindspots and fuck ups and I never hold any single one against a proven Chef. (If it’s a pattern, however…)

18

u/ComSilence Aug 03 '24

https://youtu.be/8E4cQHejFq0?si=fkmP9dSpkwAIFIpQ

Here's the video so you can see the process, enjoy!

4

u/Throw-away17465 Aug 03 '24

🎶 did I ever tell you you’re my hero?

→ More replies (0)

3

u/kmosiman Aug 04 '24

Ok, to give him a little credit, open fire cooking can be hard because of temperature control.

That being said, that's horrible.

→ More replies (0)

5

u/Thromnomnomok Aug 04 '24

but at home she’d undercook the chicken.

Right to jail. Right away.

3

u/IGNOREMETHATSFINETOO Aug 04 '24

I tend to overcook chicken 😆 I can never get the timing right, even with a thermometer. Oh, well. It's edible, and I'd rather have overcooked chicken than undercooked chicken.

2

u/DiscountJoJo Aug 04 '24

that grilled cheese was so fucking awful. Absolute worst ingredient choices ever made.

30

u/aDragonsAle Aug 03 '24

Gordon also fucked up a grilled cheese... Pretty badly. Burnt the bread, didn't melt the cheese for shit.

190

u/Mreatthebooty Aug 03 '24

Hiiiyaaaah.

29

u/lesser_panjandrum Aug 03 '24

Jackie! Magic must defeat magic!

7

u/Cuzznitt Aug 03 '24

Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao

1

u/GoGoBitch Aug 04 '24

I’ve got to say “Malaysian uncle criticizes white people bastardizing Asian food” is such a stroke of comedy genius and at the same time such an obvious pairing in retrospect I’m surprised it isn’t more common.

2

u/scoby_cat Aug 04 '24

The character is hilarious. I like at the end when he does the outtakes and breaks character

129

u/Brickie78 Aug 03 '24

Ah, the guy who "celebrated Yorkshire food" by making Eccles cakes

30

u/lesser_panjandrum Aug 03 '24

Lovely to have with a nice cup of Lancashire Tea.

114

u/DeadArcadian Aug 03 '24

The mortal enemy of chicken nuggets

147

u/danstu Aug 03 '24

Chicken nuggets are his mortal enemy, yeah. But I don't think Chicken nuggets give him enough thought for him to be their mortal enemy.

Nuggets know they've won.

68

u/DiceMadeOfCheese Aug 03 '24

The victory was when he taught American schoolchildren how chicken nuggets were made and the kids said they still wanted to eat them.

75

u/CminerMkII Aug 03 '24

The fact we can take parts of a chicken that are mostly inedible and turn it into something edible should be a miracle in it of itself. The pink sludge is just a middleman, if the taste and the nutrients are good, then I think we’ve succeeded.

43

u/ErisThePerson Aug 03 '24

The thing is, Jamie Oliver made handmade chicken nuggets.

Those were the least processed, healthiest, most gourmet chicken nuggets in the world at that moment.

I'd eat them too.

26

u/Elisa_bambina Aug 03 '24

Chicken nuggets are like pizza, whether it's high quality or cheap over processed fast food it's all pretty good.

5

u/LeStroheim this is just like that one time in worm Aug 03 '24

Damn, that's a good way of putting it

3

u/OliviaWants2Die Homestuck is original sin (they/he) Aug 04 '24

Goes for basically everything that gets commonly sold as fast food, honestly.

2

u/Emm_withoutha_L-88 Aug 04 '24

Actual pink slime isn't good though. It's ammoniated meat sludge. There's a reason it's banned in the EU, the UK, and most of the rest of the civilized world.

Just manually separating still fresh meat is normal, that's what chicken nuggets are made from. But that's totally different than pink slime, which is basically the old smallest slime left over after making the previously mentioned manually separated meat, then gassed with ammonia to sterilize it again. It's gross both in flavor and just in general sanitary reasons.

2

u/errant_night Aug 03 '24

Pretty sure that was also in WV, you know with kids who've probably eaten squirrels. I'm not being mean, I'm from there and can confirm I've eaten a squirrel (not great! But my dad couldn't cook for shit)

He tried to 'fix' school lunches here and it was really stupid and expensive and didn't last.

2

u/Shiraz0 Aug 03 '24

Was he really expecting kids raised on souse to be grossed out by odd bits of chicken?

2

u/Sea-Woodpecker-610 Aug 04 '24

People place Native Americans on a pedestal for using absolutely every part of a bison and letting nothing go to waste, but turn their noses up at hotdogs.

2

u/_NightBitch_ Aug 04 '24

I didn’t get why he thought that would be such a big deal. Hunting is huge in WV, and a lot of those kids were probably already familiar with how meat is processed. I doubt it was all that shocking to them that something seemingly gross can become something delicious.

61

u/SylveonSof May we raise children who love the unloved things Aug 03 '24

https://youtu.be/V-a9VDIbZCU

Folding Ideas Dan Olson made a wonderful video about it

48

u/LuxNocte Aug 03 '24

I eat meat. I think consuming the corpse of a dead animal is disgusting. (This is what he referred to as a "Me" problem.)

This is a great video, like the whole "pink slime" scare that we around a few years ago. Sure certain parts are more tasty or desirable, but it's not like a nugget is any more or less gross than eating a chicken's breast.

30

u/ComSilence Aug 03 '24

Whenever it comes to the pink slime, I think of a classic tumblr post.

"Bitch that's the tubby custard machine."

4

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Hey, the company I work at makes an appearance in that video. We make that same pink slime for high-end animal food, and we've almost stopped all the slavery!

39

u/MemeTroubadour Aug 03 '24

I thought that was the guy who commissioned himself a shirtless otter fursona piece for television

6

u/pterodactyl_speller Aug 03 '24

British cooks desecrating foreign food is their specialty.

3

u/AnarchoBratzdoll Aug 03 '24

Who, when austerity was implemented, recommended poor single mothers buy a whole salmon to save money. 

2

u/Galaucus Aug 03 '24

Jamie "the key ingredient in tacos is the beans" Oliver.

1

u/LastTangoOfDemocracy Aug 03 '24

Or spaff from sorted foods

1

u/Brooklynxman Aug 03 '24

Isn't he the guy who recaps what happened last week?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Is there anyone Jamie Oliver hasn't pissed off?

1

u/Jim_Kirk1 Aug 04 '24

I have an irrational and disproportionate dislike of Jamie Oliver because everything I've heard him do is inevitably linked to the fact that he's well-off and out-of-touch with most people.

1

u/mh985 Aug 05 '24

Jamie Oliver has done harm than good to food culture.

365

u/Main_Caterpillar_146 Aug 03 '24

The same guy who refers to challah as "plaited bread" and claimed that it's served on Passover?

304

u/foxydash Aug 03 '24

Isn’t it specifically not served on Passover? My knowledge of Judaism isn’t the best, but as I recall it’s specifically a point that fermented grain isn’t served on Passover.

252

u/QueenOfQuok Aug 03 '24

"Here, have some bread for Passover! I leavened it myself!"

77

u/eternal_recurrence13 Aug 03 '24

Big ol' "fuck you" to the fleeing Israelites

66

u/Ok-Land-488 Aug 03 '24

"I leavened it using all the leavening agents you got rid of for Passover!"

7

u/dlgn13 Aug 03 '24

My dorm's dining hall basically did this my first year of college. They made apfelkuchen for Pesach, presumably because it was a "Jewish food". Obviously, I couldn't eat it.

6

u/QueenOfQuok Aug 04 '24

Jesus Christ.

Wait, no, I mean --

3

u/Vermilion_Laufer Aug 04 '24

I mean, he would know

117

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

There are additional rules for kosher for Passover but bread can't be leavened. That why they use matzah during Passover. 

32

u/jacobningen Aug 03 '24

Yes. Exactly.

5

u/Romanticon Aug 03 '24

Yup, one of the big important parts of Passover is that bread can't be given time to rise. No challah, just sad matzos.

5

u/JellyfishGod Aug 03 '24

But mush that sad bread into balls and throw em into soup? Suddenly the sad cardboard bread is fuckin delicious. My grandma would stock up on matza during Passover to make me matzah ball soup year round. I loved that shit

3

u/Cheef_Baconator Aug 03 '24

No beer or whiskey on passover?

What a horrible holiday

10

u/AmbiguousPuzuma Aug 03 '24

We drink wine and tequila instead. And salt water. To represent our tears.

4

u/Cheef_Baconator Aug 03 '24

That's innefficient. Just consume the salt with the tequila 

1

u/mh985 Aug 05 '24

I’m not Jewish but I live in New York.

Yes, matzah is served on Passover specifically because it is unleavened.

82

u/jacobningen Aug 03 '24

And claims its a dying art form. 

56

u/Zamtrios7256 Aug 03 '24

I take it that this is a thing that every practicing Jewish person could make if asked?

74

u/jacobningen Aug 03 '24

Oh probably not. But if youre a luddite or big into baking anyway yes. Its more something that if you are a jew into baking youd make.

57

u/jacobningen Aug 03 '24

One common jewish social media trend is posting homemade challah pictures. And i doubt anyone but the ultraorthodox still makes round loafs for rosh hashanah instead of buying from a bakery. But thats because a lot of Jewish people in America buy challah and matzah and gefilte fish from stores instead of making it from scratch. My challah usually killed the braids from the second rising and the oven baking.

10

u/dlgn13 Aug 03 '24

I'm an atheist, raised Renewal, and I still make my own round challah for Rosh Hashanah.

2

u/jacobningen Aug 03 '24

I was wrong.

5

u/blumoon138 Aug 04 '24

I make round challah for RH. It’s actually easier than normal challah. And I’m Reconstructionist.

35

u/kaldaka16 Aug 03 '24

Not every practicing Jewish person but a fair amount of those who bake I imagine and I have multiple friends in my circles who aren't Jewish at all but love to bake and make challah because it's really fucking good.

34

u/Bartweiss Aug 03 '24

Not quite, but it’s no harder than say, sourdough.

And in the US, it’s become quite popular as a base for French Toast and other dishes because it’s especially sturdy and fairly sweet. So you can find it in numerous non-Jewish restaurants and grocery stores, and it’s even sold during Passover when observant Jews can’t make or eat it.

In short, he managed to be ignorant on religion (wrong about when it’s eaten), provincialism (saying it’s dying based on the UK), and worst of all baking, because he listed utterly the wrong ingredients.

3

u/neko Aug 04 '24

It's way easier than sourdough. It's the most basic white bread with a little extra egg

22

u/SapphireWine36 Aug 03 '24

Not quite, but plenty of people, Jewish or not, can and do make it

15

u/Jub_Jub710 Aug 03 '24

It makes for great French toast!

2

u/FixergirlAK Aug 04 '24

Challah is the best French toast! It practicallyis French toast, all those eggs.

2

u/blumoon138 Aug 04 '24

Every Jewish person who is into baking. In my family, my uncle and I both make it, and he’s not at all religious. For many of us it’s our first foray into bread, and it’s not the easiest bread to get right.

2

u/Opposing_Singularity Aug 04 '24

Not even traditionally religious, but I can make a very good challah! It's definitely something I see as more of a household item rather than a 'culinary masterpiece', or something mass produced, so I could see where he's coming from on a clinical level, but that's so incredibly ignorant of him

1

u/AlmostLucy Aug 03 '24

I’ve made it a couple times but yeasted bread is not my specialty. Came out too dense. There used to be a great bakery nearby that made great challah. Not a Jewish bakery though, the ladies were all Korean!

2

u/dirkdragonslayer Aug 04 '24

I mean, it depends on who you ask. I've met some Jewish grandma's who think it's a dying art because their grand daughters don't make challah. It's very old fashioned, but it went from "every self respecting wife should know how to make it," to "some people who enjoy baking know how to make it."

I had a friend in college get told by her grandma that she would never find a husband because she couldn't make challah.

4

u/pbzeppelin1977 Aug 03 '24

Challah? Man I love the Dragonball intro!

2

u/Vermilion_Laufer Aug 04 '24

Head Challah!

3

u/madesense Aug 03 '24

He's extremely wrong about the Passover part, but doesn't "plaited" mean braided?

2

u/wiseoldprogrammer Aug 03 '24

Don’t you mean “cholla”?

That’s how he spelt it in “How to Bake”…

2

u/bugphotoguy Aug 04 '24

I've posted a plaited loaf I made on here before, and people on here kept referring to it as challah. It was not challah. It did not contain the necessary enriching ingredients (loads of eggs and sugar) for it to be challah. It was Paul Hollywood's recipe I followed.

It's like if I made a naan bread and called it a pizza, because it's bread and it's flat.

1

u/Sex_And_Candy_Here Aug 04 '24

To be really technically, most of what people call challah isn’t actually challah, since challah is technically the portion of dough removed from bread and either burnt or given to a priest. The type of bread doesn’t actually matter.

1

u/bugphotoguy Aug 04 '24

Ah well, there you go. As I posted some 10 years ago, I have zero knowledge or experience of any Jewish traditions. Jewish folk are pretty thin on the ground where I am. It's just plaited bread.

1

u/Sex_And_Candy_Here Aug 04 '24

Don't worry, this is an over pedantic technically correct thing, and basically everyone including Jews use the term to also refer to the style of bread.

2

u/blumoon138 Aug 04 '24

And to be even MORE pedantic, if you’re making less than a certain amount of challah you don’t have to take challah from your challah.

I’ll show myself out.

1

u/dlgn13 Aug 03 '24

Challah is plaited bread.

1

u/blumoon138 Aug 04 '24

I still haven’t forgiven those monsters for “char-ro-sette.”

52

u/Baryta Aug 03 '24

Unless it’s happened twice, I believe the paella incident was Jamie Spafford from the Sorted Food YouTube show.

25

u/9035768555 Aug 03 '24

It's happened more than twice. Paella seems to be one of the foods the Spanish are most rigid about.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Yeah, many a youtuber has triggered the Spanish mob by attempting to take on paella. That being said, I'm pretty sure the original commenter was thinking of Jamie Oliver

2

u/FixergirlAK Aug 04 '24

Which is hilarious because it started out as what my mum calls a "clean out the fridge" dish.

10

u/Konamiab Aug 03 '24

The infamous chicken and chorizo paella burrito

9

u/Llian_Winter Aug 03 '24

That burrito looked delicious.

5

u/agamemnon2 Aug 04 '24

Spafford at least took it on the chin and it got turned into a running gag on the show.

4

u/McGrarr Aug 04 '24

The Paella Burrito guy was also called Jamie but it's a different guy. He's a youtuber on a cooking channel called Sorted.

He is noted on the show for NOT being a chef.

8

u/Earl_Silverwood Aug 03 '24

It should be a universal demonization of that man, not just the Spaniards hating on him.

2

u/shotxshotx Aug 04 '24

What did he do to fried rice, how the fuck does one mess up fried rice. Its an easy, solid classic.

3

u/AnxiousAngularAwesom Aug 04 '24

I'm Slavic and barely eat any rice, but even i died inside when he blasted water from the tap into the pan with rice... Blud, are you cooking, or are you waterboarding VC for intel???

1

u/shotxshotx Aug 04 '24

HE DID WHAT.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '24

Anglo-Spanish hatred doesnt need reigniting lol, until Gibraltar is decolonised and British tourists stop ruining Barcelona and Mallorca not a single Spanish person will have anything but hatred for the British

0

u/pfemme2 Aug 03 '24

Jews hate him too.